How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane PDF Download
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Author: Johanna Stein
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0738217352
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 256
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Book Description
Looking for the perfect book to help you survive childbirth and parenting with your sanity intact? Look elsewhere. For Johanna Stein (writer/comedian/forward/slash/abuser and occasionally neurotic/immature/way-too-candid mom), parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences -- Have you ever wondered if your baby's "soft spot" is like a delete key? Trained your preschooler for a zombie invasion? Accused a nearly nude stranger of being pregnant? Made sweet, bimonthly love to your spouse while your toddler serenaded you through the adjoining wall? Attempted to calm your screaming baby on an airplane with a hand puppet, only to have it lead to one of the most disgusting experiences of your life? -- but they will always make you laugh. So, no, this book won't teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or Oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the hospital delivery room, then you're in the right place.
Author: Johanna Stein
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0738217352
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 256
Get Book Here
Book Description
Looking for the perfect book to help you survive childbirth and parenting with your sanity intact? Look elsewhere. For Johanna Stein (writer/comedian/forward/slash/abuser and occasionally neurotic/immature/way-too-candid mom), parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences -- Have you ever wondered if your baby's "soft spot" is like a delete key? Trained your preschooler for a zombie invasion? Accused a nearly nude stranger of being pregnant? Made sweet, bimonthly love to your spouse while your toddler serenaded you through the adjoining wall? Attempted to calm your screaming baby on an airplane with a hand puppet, only to have it lead to one of the most disgusting experiences of your life? -- but they will always make you laugh. So, no, this book won't teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or Oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the hospital delivery room, then you're in the right place.
Author: Ian Frazier
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0374133182
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 254
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Book Description
Based on his widely read columns for "The New Yorker," Frazier's uproarious first novel centers on a profoundly memorable character. Structured as a daybook of sorts, the Cursing Mommy valiantly offers tips on how to do various tasks around the home, only to end up on the ground, cursing.
Author: Nikki Crescent
Publisher: Princess Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 104
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Book Description
Ryan messed up for the last time, throwing a big Halloween party in an old, abandoned house. It turns out, it wasn’t abandoned, and the mature woman, Ms. Wilkinson, who owns the place is ready to press charges. But she gives him one last chance. He can make it up to her by coming by every day, to clean up, to fix up the house, and to do miscellaneous chores. Her deal seems a lot better than the jail time that would come with her pressing charges, so Ryan happily agrees. But things get a bit weird when Ms. Wilkinson’s chores involve dressing up like a girl—and calling her Mommy.
Author: Sara Ellington
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345499875
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 546
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Book Description
Sara Ellington and Stephanie Triplett share their often different opinions on various aspects of raising children from birth to age six, covering the hospital experience, breastfeeding versus bottle feeding, going back to work, car seats, discipline, kids and sports, household management, potty training, schools, and many other topics.
Author: Cheri Fuller
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
ISBN: 1589971329
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 192
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Book Description
Through engaging short stories, inspirational reflections, Scripture, creative ideas and thought-provoking questions, Fuller encourages mothers to relax, embrace their children's individuality, and rely on God for the wisdom they need.
Author: Sheri Lynch
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312318321
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 244
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Book Description
Dr. Spock may tell moms to trust their instincts, but a Misfit Mommy wants to do everything but. Mommies-to-be who feel like frauds and impostors won't feel alone anymore with this insightful and laugh-out-loud guide.
Author: RAG
Publisher: Roland Amariah Gonzales
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 382
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Book Description
"Our foundations are set in place during childhood. Hard times make for hard foundations. Sturdy, solid. The edifice erected thereafter, its style, its shape¿its flow and direction are entirely up to the builder." Come and see the boy Amariah, born into his low existence. See his curiosity, his struggle to understand. Come and see the boy Amariah! See joy and laughter clutched dearly to his breast, glowing fireflies in a dark forest. Come...see the boy Amariah. See each agony experienced anew, each lash of the whip bright, bloody, and fresh. Come, see the boy Amariah. See and wonder what might become of such a wretch?
Author: Zester Hatfield
Publisher: Trafford Publishing
ISBN: 1412058562
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 358
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Book Description
Mr. Hatfield with all of his years of experience in marriage, parenting, family, missions and in the Church pulls no punches in calling Christ's Bride to return to His Truth (God's revealed Law-Word) regarding discipleship (men and women of faith and grace) in Manhood and Womanhood, outrageously successful spousal relations, parenting with training in romance, sexual satisfaction, love and marriage! He is calling all believers, especially men, to confession and repentance and to receive, understand and apply these Truths in the Power of the Holy Spirit as the only acceptable response in which God will revive and reform the Family and the Church in the 21st Century! Not for the weak-kneed, weak-minded or humanistically influenced, this is for Christ's Bride as we prepare for and anticipate His return! These applications of God's revealed Law-Word and His uncommon common sense in the lives of America's postmodern Christian culture and especially the promise of duplicating of these successes for love and marriage in our children, is exciting and challenging to the point of precedent setting magnitudes. The reader will experience riveting and exciting challenges to the status quo of our present day Christian culture. "Based on interviews with more than 1000 adults nationwide, the survey discovered that less than one out of every five adults believes that children under the age of 13 are being "superbly" or "pretty well" prepared for life emotionally, physically, spiritually, intellectually or physically. Fewer than one out of every twenty adults believes that America's youngsters are receiving above average preparation in all five of those areas of life." Americans Agree: "Kids Are Not Being Prepared for Life," The Barna Group-October 26, 2004 The couples, who discover the answers to the moral morass of our postmodern Christian culture, are those who know that the future of their children is in jeopardy and that we are in a war for the control of that future! Sadly, the statistics of broken homes, divorces, adultery, domestic violence, drugs and promiscuity - to mention only some of the ills of our culture - are almost equally divided between "Christian" families and non-Christian families. This is unacceptable as a comparison and must change. Consequently, fathers and mothers of faith and grace are those - who are and or who will experience - God's promise of victory over these fruits of our fallen nature and live a marriage experience that captures the best of God's gifts of love, sex and romance in marriage. Daddy's Little Girl and Mommy's Little Boy brings us clear evidence of just how America's Christian couples can have this victory in their marriage and how to duplicate this success in their sons and daughters.
Author: A.K. Turner
Publisher: Fever Streak Press
ISBN: 0985583991
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 163
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Book Description
**Winner of the 2015 Bronze IPPY in Humor** PUBLISHERS WEEKLY REVIEW: Turner is back and better than ever in this comedic sequel to This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, as reliably honest and zany storytelling conveys both joys and trials of parenthood. Turner, an Idaho mother raising two young daughters, has an opinion on everything, including buffets (they bear responsibility for "what's wrong with this country"); writers' retreats and how to measure the quality of someone's writing by how much he or she talks about it ("excessive babbling" is an "attempt to compensate for crippling insecurity"); and a parenting technique she calls "Willful Denial of Fact." Vignettes range from botched chemical peels, her children's Mandarin classes, endeavors to use a Slip ‘n Slide, and six months in Mexico with the in-laws. Readers will be pleased to see familiar characters reprise their roles from Turner's first book, such as brother-in-law Virgil, who tells everyone that Turner's father is Dean Koontz, "the guy who wrote The Shining." Turner's unapologetic confessional is easy to relate to, and she succeeds in finding humor and entertainment in even the most mundane trials of motherhood. In the hilarious sequel to the bestselling "momoir" This Little Piggy Went to the Liquor Store, A.K. Turner returns with the mayhem of motherhood. From preschoolers blurting obscenities in public places to living with her in-laws in Mexico, Mommy Had a Little Flask delivers a delightfully raw and honest account of family life in Turner's latest laugh-out-loud confessional. “It’s rare for a writer to actually make me laugh out loud, but A.K. Turner does just that.” —Robin O'Bryant, New York Times bestselling author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “I laughed out loud at Mommy Had a Little Flask, but make no mistake, this book is equally heartfelt and humorous as A.K. Turner delves into all the wonders, challenges and horrifying playground moments of parenting – the most extreme sport there is.” —Cameron Morfit, Sports Illustrated “A.K. Turner is always hilarious, and she doesn’t disappoint.” —Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat “The thing that I can’t get over with A.K. Turner is that she is endlessly fresh. Funny, always, but fresh, sweet funny that keeps me coming back again and again...and craving more. Always can’t wait to read her latest.” —Meredith Spidel, The Mom of the Year “A.K. Turner can turn even the simplest family story into a rollicking, outrageous, hilarious adventure. Buckle up!” —Michelle Newman, You’re My Favorite Today, contributor to the bestselling humor anthologies I Just Want to Pee Alone and I Just Want to Be Alone, and Community Contributor at Entertainment Weekly “A.K. Turner is the best friend that we dream of having: someone who is smart and eloquent and doesn’t take herself or her life too seriously. That is what makes all of her books so fabulous, you can’t help but envision yourself right alongside of her, cheering her on, laughing out loud and thanking your lucky stars that you have her in your life.” —Lynn Morrison, The Nomad Mom Diary, Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Bloggers, Circle of Moms Top 25 European Bloggers, and contributor to BLUNTmoms and The Huffington Post “A.K. Turner’s writing manages to be both hilarious and heartfelt at the same time. When I read her words, I find myself laughing to the point of tears one minute and then crying real tears the next. It’s writing that makes you feel something. Something real and deep and honest. Which is how writing should be.” —Deva Dalporto, My Life Suckers
Author: Kechi Okwuchi
Publisher: Baker Books
ISBN: 1493434055
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
The first thing you will notice when you meet Kechi Okwuchi is her scars. One of just two survivors of a devastating plane crash that killed more than 100 people, 16-year-old Kechi was left with third-degree burns over 65 percent of her body. More Than My Scars is her incredible story. A story of not just surviving impossible odds but thriving in a world that is too often caught up with how we look on the outside rather than seeing that our true value is within. Now in her early 30s, Kechi has spent the last 16 years refusing to be defined by her trauma. Follow her as she decides for herself what role her scars will play in her life before society decides for her. Her strong sense of identity, rooted in seeing herself the way God sees her, has allowed her to live authentically in a world that constantly seeks to define us by its ever-changing (and ever-shallow) standards. Kechi's story will inspire you to love and accept yourself as you are and confidently present your true self to the world.
