Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes PDF Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: Harvest
ISBN: 0358346274
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 276

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Book Description
From the mom behind Baby Sideburns and the NYT bestseller I Heart my Little A-Holes, a hilarious and matter-of-fact parenting guide to raising happy, kind, and resilient kids.

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes PDF Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: Harvest
ISBN: 0358346274
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 276

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Book Description
From the mom behind Baby Sideburns and the NYT bestseller I Heart my Little A-Holes, a hilarious and matter-of-fact parenting guide to raising happy, kind, and resilient kids.

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Doctors

Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Doctors PDF Author: Dr. Harvey Manes
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1440191999
Category : Medical
Languages : en
Pages : 99

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Book Description
This book is designed to illuminate the problems facing doctors today and suggest changes that need to be made in order to make the right decision for our countrys healthcare future. Mamas Dont Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Doctors focuses on what Dr. Manes calls the three deadly diseases killing the Amercian healthcare system today; 1) government interference 2) the HMOs beaurocracy and overstepping powers 3) skyrocketing medical malpractice costs Detailing the symptoms of each in their own section, Dr. Manes next expresses a diagnosis of what is ailing the medical community-and patients- as a result of these problems and finally, a prescription for how to solve them. ForeWord Clarion Book Review A must read expose for anyone who is considering or presently involved in the health care profession. M. Collett-Ombudsman Great book and very timely. The only book that describes the rise to prominence and then the tarnishing of the medical profession. N. Wolfson, M.D. A frank and thoughtful insiders look at what ails the medical profession. B. Backer, Esq.

I Want My Epidural Back

I Want My Epidural Back PDF Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062427091
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 219

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Book Description
Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.

I Heart My Little A-Holes

I Heart My Little A-Holes PDF Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062341618
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 249

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Book Description
“Crass, inappropriate, and absolutely hysterical. In other words, absolutely everything you could want in a parenting book and more.” —Jill Smokler, New York Times–bestselling author Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it’s all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. At times like these, it’s only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it’s against the law (and there’s the suicide hotline). Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper.

M Is for Mama

M Is for Mama PDF Author: Abbie Halberstadt
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
ISBN: 0736983783
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 241

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Book Description
Mama of ten Abbie Halberstadt helps women humbly and gracefully rise to the high calling of motherhood without settling for mediocrity or losing their minds in the process. Motherhood is a challenge. Unfortunately, our worldly culture offers moms little in the way of real help. Mamas only connect to celebrate surviving another day and to share in their misery rather than rejoice in what God has done and to build each other up in hard times. There has a be a better way, a biblical way, for mamas to grow and thrive. As a daughter of Christ, you have been called to be more than an average mama. Attaining excellence doesn’t have to be unsettling but it will take committed focus and a desire to parent well according to God’s grace and for His glory. M is for Mama offers advice, encouragement, and scripturally sound strategies seasoned with a little bit of humor to help you embrace the challenge of biblical motherhood and raise your children with love and wisdom. Mama, you are worthy of the awesome responsibility God has given you. Now it’s time to start believing you can live up to it.

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes PDF Author: Melinda Wenner Moyer
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593086953
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 353

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Book Description
How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day. On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. Science journalist Melinda Wenner Moyer outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with—and who just might save the world.

Toddlers Are A**holes

Toddlers Are A**holes PDF Author: Bunmi Laditan
Publisher: Workman Publishing
ISBN: 076118564X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177

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Book Description
Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development—not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period. Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief—along with the very good news that "It's Not Your Fault." Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty-training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside." Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), Things You Thought You'd Never Say That You Now Say As a Parent of a Toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine."). Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent-to-tired-parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.

The Cowboy's Miracle

The Cowboy's Miracle PDF Author: Penelope Marzec
Publisher: Pelican Ventures Book Group
ISBN: 1943104727
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 84

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Book Description
Despite rodeo star fame and a veterinarian license, Seth Holmes is a social outcast because his father bilked investors out of millions. Among his father's papers, he discovers a photograph of his grandparents' farm in New Jersey. Seth never knew he had relatives. He sets out to find the farm, hoping to leave behind the angry investors seeking revenge. Gabriella Cavallo runs a farm with alpacas, a greenhouse, and a carriage house, which is rented for events. Her godparents took her in when her parents died, but now her godmother is in the nursing home. She's skeptical when Seth arrives at the door claiming to be her godmother's grandson, but he bears a strong resemblance to photos of his father. Then someone targets the alpacas by trying to poison the animals. Seth pitches in and soon wins Gabriella's trust. But Seth begins to suspect the bilked investors have found him—and this time they're targeting Gabriella as well.

Ask Me What's for Dinner One More Time

Ask Me What's for Dinner One More Time PDF Author: Meredith Masony
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982117974
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
From the founder of That’s Inappropriate—one of the most popular parenting blogs on the web—comes a hilarious, genuine, and relatable essay collection on the ups and downs of motherhood. Meredith Masony founded That’s Inappropriate in 2014 as an innocent and humorous way to chronicle her chaotic days as a working mom, child wrangler, and busy wife. It soon evolved into a massive, dynamic community of parents—now nearly three million strong—brought together by their shared belief that parenthood and marriage don’t have to be perfect. Now, in Ask Me What’s for Dinner One More Time, Meredith shares her collection of witty essays on the universal frustrations of being a mom in today’s world, presenting her laugh-out-loud perspective on sex, aging, anxiety, friendship, and much more. Perfect for fans of Jenny Lawson, Laura Clery, and Jen Mann, these essays provide laughter, relief, validation, and “a metaphorical hug for all of those moments you spend crying on your bathroom floor, thinking that you are failing at the hardest job on the planet.”

Cat and Nat's Mom Truths

Cat and Nat's Mom Truths PDF Author: Catherine Belknap
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 0525574921
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 228

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Book Description
THE NATIONAL BESTSELLER Hilarious best friends Cat and Nat created a massive online community of moms by sharing their ultra-real and just a bit R-rated dispatches from the mom trenches. From what not to eat a few days after giving birth (chicken wings) to the most effective ways to dodge post-partum sex, Cat & Nat’s Mom Truths shares everything no one will tell you about having kids. Mixing memoir, humor, and advice, Cat and Nat tell never-before-told stories about the stress, guilt, joy, and laundry (oh the laundry!) of being a mom in their first book. With seven kids between them and millions of fans on social media, they get real about the parts of parenting that somehow don’t make the Instagram feed. Sharing their outrageous humor, fearless myth-busting, and genuine comfort on every page, they walk you from pregnancy to the toddler years and beyond. And they dole out ridiculously honest advice, like what you think you need at the hospital when you have your first baby (lip gloss) versus what you actually need (hemorrhoid pillow), and how worried you should really be about germs (less than you are). Fearless crusaders against the perfection myth and all the gluten-free, sugar-free baking it entails, Cat and Nat assure you that you’re already doing a great job, making this an essential companion for moms everywhere.