Little Book of Hard Bastard Jokes - Laugh or Else!

Little Book of Hard Bastard Jokes - Laugh or Else! PDF Author: Kate Kray
Publisher: Kings Road Publishing
ISBN: 1782194525
Category : True Crime
Languages : en
Pages : 137

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Book Description
Laugh - or else! They're tough, they're dangerous...and they're funny! The characters in this book are among the hardest men in the country. Yet behind the tough exterior there lies a genuine sense of humour. Here, for the first time, these men tell their favourite jokes...Did you hear about the two convicts in America who were about to be executed? The Warden says to the first one, "Do you have a last request?" The convict says, "Yes, I'd like to hear the song 'Achy Breaky Heart' one last time. The Warden says, "OK, I think we can arrange that." Then he says to the second convict, "How about you?" The second convict says, "Yeah, kill me first."

Little Book of Hard Bastard Jokes - Laugh or Else!

Little Book of Hard Bastard Jokes - Laugh or Else! PDF Author: Kate Kray
Publisher: Kings Road Publishing
ISBN: 1782194525
Category : True Crime
Languages : en
Pages : 137

Get Book Here

Book Description
Laugh - or else! They're tough, they're dangerous...and they're funny! The characters in this book are among the hardest men in the country. Yet behind the tough exterior there lies a genuine sense of humour. Here, for the first time, these men tell their favourite jokes...Did you hear about the two convicts in America who were about to be executed? The Warden says to the first one, "Do you have a last request?" The convict says, "Yes, I'd like to hear the song 'Achy Breaky Heart' one last time. The Warden says, "OK, I think we can arrange that." Then he says to the second convict, "How about you?" The second convict says, "Yeah, kill me first."

Die Laughing

Die Laughing PDF Author: William Novak
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501150812
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 291

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Book Description
From the cocreator of the celebrated Big Book of Jewish Humor comes a “funny…geezer-licious” (Jack Handey, author of Deep Thoughts) collection of jokes about growing older that makes fun of memory loss, marriages, medicine, sex, the afterlife, and much more—a perfect gift for almost anyone who was born before you were. Growing older can be unsettling and surprising. (How on earth did this happen? Where did the years go?) So what better way to deal with this new stage of life than to laugh about your new reality? Die Laughing includes more than enough jokes (not to mention cartoons!) to let that laughter burst out. Whether it’s dealing with doctors, dating in one’s seventies, or unexpected bodily changes (not to mention funny noises), some things are easier to face with a smile of recognition. That’s why Die Laughing is the perfect gift for your parents, anyone celebrating a significant birthday, or any boomer with a sense of humor whose age begins with a six or higher.

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl PDF Author: Jesse Andrews
Publisher: Abrams
ISBN: 161312306X
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 312

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Book Description
The New York Times bestseller that inspired the Sundance Grand Jury Prize-winning film. The funniest book you’ll ever read about death. It is a universally acknowledged truth that high school sucks. But on the first day of his senior year, Greg Gaines thinks he’s figured it out. The answer to the basic existential question: How is it possible to exist in a place that sucks so bad? His strategy: remain at the periphery at all times. Keep an insanely low profile. Make mediocre films with the one person who is even sort of his friend, Earl. This plan works for exactly eight hours. Then Greg’s mom forces him to become friends with a girl who has cancer. This brings about the destruction of Greg’s entire life. “Mr. Andrews’ often hilarious teen dialogue is utterly convincing, and his characters are compelling. Greg’s random sense of humor, terrible self-esteem and general lack of self-awareness all ring true. Like many YA authors, Mr. Andrews blends humor and pathos with true skill, but he steers clear of tricky resolutions and overt life lessons, favoring incremental understanding and growth.” —Pittsburgh Post-Gazette “One need only look at the chapter titles (‘Let’s Just Get This Embarrassing Chapter Out of the Way’) to know that this is one funny book.” —Booklist (starred review) “Though this novel begs inevitable thematic comparisons to John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, it stands on its own in inventiveness, humor and heart.” —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

Ultimate Hard Bastards - The Truth About the Toughest Men in the World

Ultimate Hard Bastards - The Truth About the Toughest Men in the World PDF Author: Kate Kray
Publisher: Kings Road Publishing
ISBN: 1782191569
Category : True Crime
Languages : en
Pages : 385

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Book Description
Meet the hardest men in Britain - minders, villains, gangsters, bodyguards, SAS hitmen, murderers and terrorists. In this awesome follow up to the hugely successful Hard Bastards and Hard Bastards 2, Kate Kray, who was married to Ronnie Kray, gets the answers to questions nobody else would dare to ask. We learn the truth about what drives some of these characters to live on the edge of the law and to go as far as they do to get what they want. For some, it is merely a matter of gaining respect or boosting their reputations, for others it is a case of striving for survival. Each of these elite characters is different, and each has a unique tale to tell, yet all of them have one thing in common - they inhabit a world that few of us would dare to venture into.

Lucky Bastard

Lucky Bastard PDF Author: Joe Buck
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101984570
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 306

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Book Description
In this New York Times bestselling memoir, the announcer of the biggest sporting events in the country—including the 2017 Super Bowl and this century's most-watched, historic, Chicago Cubs–winning World Series—reveals why he is one lucky bastard. Sports fans see Joe Buck everywhere: broadcasting one of the biggest games in the NFL every week, calling the World Series every year, announcing the Super Bowl every three years. They know his father, Jack Buck, is a broadcasting legend and that he was beloved in his adopted hometown of St. Louis. Yet they have no idea who Joe really is. Or how he got here. They don’t know how he almost blew his career. They haven’t read his funniest and most embarrassing stories or heard about his interactions with the biggest sports stars of this era. They don’t know how hard he can laugh at himself—or that he thinks some of his critics have a point. And they don’t know what it was really like to grow up in his father’s shadow. Joe and Jack were best friends, but it wasn’t that simple. Jack, the voice of the St. Louis Cardinals for almost fifty years, helped Joe get his broadcasting start at eighteen. But Joe had to prove himself, first as a minor league radio announcer and then on local TV, national TV with ESPN, and then finally on FOX. He now has a successful, Emmy-winning career, but only after a lot of dues-paying, learning, and pretty damn entertaining mistakes that are recounted in this book. In his memoir, Joe takes us through his life on and off the field. He shares the lessons he learned from his father, the errors he made along the way, and the personal mountain he climbed and conquered, all of which have truly made him a Lucky Bastard.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle

We Have Always Lived in the Castle PDF Author: Shirley Jackson
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Castles
Languages : en
Pages : 188

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Book Description
We Have Always Lived in the Castle is a deliciously unsettling novel about a perverse, isolated, and possibly murderous family and the struggle that ensues when a cousin arrives at their estate.

A River Runs through It and Other Stories

A River Runs through It and Other Stories PDF Author: Norman MacLean
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
ISBN: 022647223X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 263

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Book Description
The New York Times–bestselling classic set amid the mountains and streams of early twentieth-century Montana, “as beautiful as anything in Thoreau or Hemingway” (Chicago Tribune). When Norman Maclean sent the manuscript of A River Runs Through It and Other Stories to New York publishers, he received a slew of rejections. One editor, so the story goes, replied, “it has trees in it.” Today, the title novella is recognized as one of the great American tales of the twentieth century, and Maclean as one of the most beloved writers of our time. The finely distilled product of a long life of often surprising rapture—for fly-fishing, for the woods, for the interlocked beauty of life and art—A River Runs Through It has established itself as a classic of the American West filled with beautiful prose and understated emotional insights. Based on Maclean’s own experiences as a young man, the book’s two novellas and short story are set in the small towns and mountains of western Montana. It is a world populated with drunks, loggers, card sharks, and whores, but also one rich in the pleasures of fly-fishing, logging, cribbage, and family. By turns raunchy and elegiac, these superb tales express, in Maclean’s own words, “a little of the love I have for the earth as it goes by.” “Maclean’s book—acerbic, laconic, deadpan—rings out of a rich American tradition that includes Mark Twain, Kin Hubbard, Richard Bissell, Jean Shepherd, and Nelson Algren.” —New York Times Book Review Includes a new foreword by Robert Redford, director of the Academy Award–winning film adaptation

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die PDF Author: Sarah J. Robinson
Publisher: WaterBrook
ISBN: 0593193539
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 257

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Book Description
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Drinking Coffee Elsewhere

Drinking Coffee Elsewhere PDF Author: ZZ Packer
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781573223782
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 292

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Book Description
The acclaimed debut short story collection that introduced the world to an arresting and unforgettable new voice in fiction, from multi-award winning author ZZ Packer Her impressive range and talent are abundantly evident: Packer dazzles with her command of language, surprising and delighting us with unexpected turns and indelible images, as she takes us into the lives of characters on the periphery, unsure of where they belong. We meet a Brownie troop of black girls who are confronted with a troop of white girls; a young man who goes with his father to the Million Man March and must decide where his allegiance lies; an international group of drifters in Japan, who are starving, unable to find work; a girl in a Baltimore ghetto who has dreams of the larger world she has seen only on the screens in the television store nearby, where the Lithuanian shopkeeper holds out hope for attaining his own American Dream. With penetrating insight, ZZ Packer helps us see the world with a clearer vision. Fresh, versatile, and captivating, Drinking Coffee Elsewhere is a striking and unforgettable collection, sure to stand out among the contemporary canon of fiction.

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks

In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks PDF Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307717380
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274

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Book Description
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.