I Hate Your Guts

I Hate Your Guts PDF Author: Jim Norton
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416968520
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 290

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Book Description
When New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire... What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin. In thirty-five hilarious essays, New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news. But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series. Uncomfortably honest, I Hate Your Guts is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers. Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard. Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off. For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, I Hate Your Guts is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

I Hate Your Guts

I Hate Your Guts PDF Author: Jim Norton
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416968520
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Get Book Here

Book Description
When New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton isn't paying for massages with happy endings, or pretending to be fooled by transsexuals he picks up, he spends his time wondering what certain people would look like on fire... What do Heather Mills, the Reverend Al Sharpton, and Dr. Phil have in common? Jim Norton hates their guts. And he probably hates yours, too, especially if you're a New York Yankee, Starbucks employee, or Steve Martin. In thirty-five hilarious essays, New York Times bestselling author and comedian Jim Norton spews bile on the people he loathes. Enjoy his blistering attacks on Derek Jeter, Hillary Clinton, fatso Al Roker, and mush-mouthed Jesse Jackson. It's utterly hilarious -- and utterly relatable if you've ever bitten a stranger's face or thrown a bottle through the TV screen while watching the news. But don't think Jim just dishes loads of shit on his self-proclaimed enemies; he is equally atrocious to himself. He savages himself for his humiliating days as a white homeboy, his balletlike spins in the outfield during a little league game, and his embarrassingly botched attempt at a celebrity shout-out while taping his new HBO stand-up series. Uncomfortably honest, I Hate Your Guts is probably the best example of emotional vomiting you'll ever read. But there is hope; at the end of each essay, Jim generously offers helpful suggestions as to how the offender can make things right again: Eliot Spitzer: If you run for re-election, instead of shaking hands with voters, let them smell your fingers. Reverend Al Sharpton: The next time you feel the need to protest, do so dressed as an elk in Ted Nugent's backyard. Hillary Clinton: When you absolutely must make a point of laughing publicly, don't fake it. Just think of something that genuinely makes you laugh, like lowering taxes or any random male having his penis cut off. For the legions of devoted fans who know Jim Norton for his raw, sometimes brutal comedy, I Hate Your Guts is what you've been waiting for. But even more important -- it's a great book to read while taking a shit.

Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse?

Who Will Help Jack Off the Horse? PDF Author: Bimisi Tayanita
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781946178077
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
"...and of course the whimsical poetic meter known as iambic tetrameter is no more capable of exclusive ownership than the air we all breath."--Bimisi to Theodor Seuss GeislIt is entirely possible to wake up in the morning with no intention of learning anything at all, but learning something substantial, nonetheless. It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at their favorite dive bar. Bimisi and Sumguyen were sparring, via a spirited match of online trivia, with patrons of a similar dive bar in another part of the world...a part of the world where it most likely was not still Wednesday afternoon. The final question...at least the last question they heard before scrambling for a pen and paper to get to work on their first parody was this:Madonna, Michael Jackson and _____ are the only 3 artists who have had a top 40 hit in 4 different decades.ANSWER: Weird Al Yankovic

Laughter

Laughter PDF Author: S.P. Sharma
Publisher: Pustak Mahal
ISBN: 9788122308167
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 124

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Book Description
Be the soul of the party.Find favour with your associates in business,or social circles!Get going with Laughter-the Secret of Good Health!In fact,the fastest way to break the ice in many a situation is to crack a joke. Which is why Danish pianist Victor Borge had quipped: Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.This book is replete with humorous one-liners, quips, quotes and anecdotes that will have you rolling with laughter.The book also dwells on famous humourists and other personalities with a sharp sense of humour, including Mark Twain, George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln and Mahatma Gandhi, amongst others.Jokes apart, laughter also has multiple therapeutic benefits, as attested by medicalmen--and elucidated by oft-repeated maxim,Laughter is the best medicine.Indeed, in March 1995, the first Laughter Club was launched by a Mumbai-based doctor precisely for its therapeutic benefits.This book also tells you all about the scientific benefits of laughter. So read, laugh and be merry!For therein lies the secret of good health and happiness.

Soljer Soljer

Soljer Soljer PDF Author: Mahip Chadha
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1467067393
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 223

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Book Description
Soljer Soljer is a story based on an imaginary infantry battalion of the Third Gorkha Rifles — the Sixth battalion. The composition, training, camaraderie, and duties in all the other infantry battalions of our Army are almost the same except that certain customs undergo a change as they adapt to the ethnicity of the troops in that Regiment. So the visible changes would be the manner of the battle cry, salutation, greeting, decorum in festivity with the troops, or ceremonials in the Officer's Mess. There is no difference in the dogged determination or the ferocity in the will of troops of these troops in completing any mission allotted to their battalions! Colonel Mahip Chadha, whom I have not only known from our training days, but served with; has very clearly brought out the joys of the simple infantry life and the deeply embedded love, affections and stoic ethnic involvement that officers enjoy with their men. This is brotherhood in its purest form. The story is of Surinder Singh Sahni and his son Jaskaran who as father and son serve in the same battalion. Brigadier Sahni resigns from the Army due to domestic issues while his son enjoys a brief and very modern marriage thanks to considerate parents. Brigadier Sahni has to face terms with reality when he reads about the Indian POWs and later when his son is declared missing believed killed after a skirmish with militants from POK. His misery is compounded when his daughter in law has to suffer further privations, till she decides to fight the establishment by becoming a lawyer. The sacrifices made by the cowherds in rescuing Jaskaran are poignant and are noble.Jaskaran returns home as his amnesia wears off in another accident. His mother like all mothers refuses to believe that he is dead.There is a God in heaven who reunites the family. The question which plagues Jaskaran is--whether his countrymen recognised his loss-- The book has a sprinkling of humour and the reader laughs at the follies of life. Mahip has told his story as an infantry officer would — straight, to the point and without beating about the bush which makes enjoyable reading! Lieutenant General G S Negi PVSM AVSM* VSM Erstwhile Colonel The Third Gorkha Rifles The Indian Army

Tinker Autumn

Tinker Autumn PDF Author: Wil Denson
Publisher: Dramatic Publishing
ISBN: 9780871290083
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 76

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Book Description


The Bathroom Key

The Bathroom Key PDF Author: Kathryn Kassai
Publisher: Demos Medical Publishing
ISBN: 1936303213
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 294

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Book Description
Print+CourseSmart

I'll Do It My Way: The Incredible Journey Of Aamir Khan

I'll Do It My Way: The Incredible Journey Of Aamir Khan PDF Author: C Danielsrole
Publisher: Om Books International
ISBN: 9380069227
Category : Motion picture actors and actresses
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
I’ll Do It My Way: The Incredible Journey Of Aamir Khan is the story of Aamir Khan’s journey as an actor, producer, director, and one of the true mavericks of Indian cinema. Beginning with Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak, his debut film as an actor, the book traces his rise to stardom and his evolution as an actor, who is very often talked about as a cut above the rest. All through a career spanning several years, Aamir has been known to be very discerning in his choice of films. He has admirably balanced offbeat movies with box-office hits, neither compromising on innovation nor commercial success. He has re-invented himself at every turn, constantly bringing a fresh perspective to film-making. His entrance into film production and direction was every bit as groundbreaking as it was expected to be. The book covers 20 years of Aamir’s journey in Bollywood and highlights several of his landmark movies such as1947 Earth, Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, and Dil. The information contained in the book is backed by research into 20 years worth of press coverage. The author also interviewed numerous people who collaborated with Aamir on various projects over the years, including Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra, Mahesh Bhatt, Ronnie Screwvala, Aditya Bhattacharya, Indra Kumar, Mansoor Khan, Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Asin, A.R. Murugadoss, Nandita Das, and Rajkumar Hirani. The author has worked on the book for 3 years to give the readers interesting insight into the growth and success of Aamir Khan - a unique, versatile Indian actor in a league of his own. I’ll Do It My Way: The Incredible Journey Of Aamir Khan was published in 2012 by Om Books International.

 PDF Author:
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 0557405807
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 500

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Book Description


The Teenage Billionaire

The Teenage Billionaire PDF Author: Faruk Haroon
Publisher: Notion Press
ISBN: 1638067163
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 249

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Book Description
Nick Peterson, C.E.O of a multinational company at the age of 18, has arrived in New York City. Nick is here to take over a company but at the same time he wants to live a normal life. Hiding his real identity as the “Teenage Billionaire” in a bid to attract real friends he joins a university. Will he be able to hide his identity for long? Will he be able to balance the acquisition and his life at a university?

UnFiltered

UnFiltered PDF Author: Steven Laffoley
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781989725597
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 180

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Book Description
"My reason for being in the tavern was important. I wanted to better understand the history of beer in Nova Scotia. Or more specifically, I wanted to know how it was that Nova Scotians became the foremost makers and drinkers of the stuff. In truth, Canada had long ago tumbled down the consumption of beer per capita mountain among the world?s nations, finding itself in paltry thirty-fourth place, lagging far behind beer-drinking powerhouses like Mexico and Botswana. And Nova Scotia, well, on average, Nova Scotians consumed only about eight litres per capita of beer per year, placing beery Bluenosers a scant eleventh among the provinces and territories, though we did have brew house bragging rights over the drinking denizens of Nunavut." After extensive initial research, author Steven Laffoley discovered that the history of beer in Nova Scotia was as cloudy as a good pumpkin lager or a cold wheat beer on a dark winter's day. So with an intrepid, albeit mildly inebriated, explorer's courage, he packed up his notebook and set off in search of Nova Scotia's beer-filled past, which, as it turned out, was far stranger than he expected. It was a fascinating tale of heartwarming heroes, despicable villains, astounding secrets, and a gruesome murder or two, all with the added amusements of Victorian cross-dressing tavern patrons and a few goats with a passion for chewing tobacco and ale. And now the story can be told. You may want to pour a good glass of IPA for this.