Intimate Disconnections

Intimate Disconnections PDF Author: Allison Alexy
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
ISBN: 022670100X
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 263

Get Book

Book Description
In many ways, divorce is a quintessentially personal decision—the choice to leave a marriage that causes harm or feels unfulfilling to the two people involved. But anyone who has gone through a divorce knows the additional public dimensions of breaking up, from intense shame and societal criticism to friends’ and relatives’ unsolicited advice. In Intimate Disconnections, Allison Alexy tells the fascinating story of the changing norms surrounding divorce in Japan in the early 2000s, when sudden demographic and social changes made it a newly visible and viable option. Not only will one of three Japanese marriages today end in divorce, but divorces are suddenly much more likely to be initiated by women who cite new standards for intimacy as their motivation. As people across Japan now consider divorcing their spouses, or work to avoid separation, they face complicated questions about the risks and possibilities marriage brings: How can couples be intimate without becoming suffocatingly close? How should they build loving relationships when older models are no longer feasible? What do you do, both legally and socially, when you just can’t take it anymore? Relating the intensely personal stories from people experiencing different stages of divorce, Alexy provides a rich ethnography of Japan while also speaking more broadly to contemporary visions of love and marriage during an era in which neoliberal values are prompting wide-ranging transformations in homes across the globe.

Intimate Disconnections

Intimate Disconnections PDF Author: Allison Alexy
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
ISBN: 022670100X
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 263

Get Book

Book Description
In many ways, divorce is a quintessentially personal decision—the choice to leave a marriage that causes harm or feels unfulfilling to the two people involved. But anyone who has gone through a divorce knows the additional public dimensions of breaking up, from intense shame and societal criticism to friends’ and relatives’ unsolicited advice. In Intimate Disconnections, Allison Alexy tells the fascinating story of the changing norms surrounding divorce in Japan in the early 2000s, when sudden demographic and social changes made it a newly visible and viable option. Not only will one of three Japanese marriages today end in divorce, but divorces are suddenly much more likely to be initiated by women who cite new standards for intimacy as their motivation. As people across Japan now consider divorcing their spouses, or work to avoid separation, they face complicated questions about the risks and possibilities marriage brings: How can couples be intimate without becoming suffocatingly close? How should they build loving relationships when older models are no longer feasible? What do you do, both legally and socially, when you just can’t take it anymore? Relating the intensely personal stories from people experiencing different stages of divorce, Alexy provides a rich ethnography of Japan while also speaking more broadly to contemporary visions of love and marriage during an era in which neoliberal values are prompting wide-ranging transformations in homes across the globe.

Out of Touch

Out of Touch PDF Author: Michelle Drouin
Publisher: MIT Press
ISBN: 0262545993
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 285

Get Book

Book Description
A behavioral scientist explores love, belongingness, and fulfillment, focusing on how modern technology can both help and hinder our need to connect. A Next Big Idea Club nominee. Millions of people around the world are not getting the physical, emotional, and intellectual intimacy they crave. Through the wonders of modern technology, we are connecting with more people more often than ever before, but are these connections what we long for? Pandemic isolation has made us even more alone. In Out of Touch, Professor of Psychology Michelle Drouin investigates what she calls our intimacy famine, exploring love, belongingness, and fulfillment and considering why relationships carried out on technological platforms may leave us starving for physical connection. Drouin puts it this way: when most of our interactions are through social media, we are taking tiny hits of dopamine rather than the huge shots of oxytocin that an intimate in-person relationship would provide. Drouin explains that intimacy is not just sex—although of course sex is an important part of intimacy. But how important? Drouin reports on surveys that millennials (perhaps distracted by constant Tinder-swiping) have less sex than previous generations. She discusses pandemic puppies, professional cuddlers, the importance of touch, “desire discrepancy” in marriage, and the value of friendships. Online dating, she suggests, might give users too many options; and the internet facilitates “infidelity-related behaviors.” Some technological advances will help us develop and maintain intimate relationships—our phones, for example, can be bridges to emotional support. Some, on the other hand, might leave us out of touch. Drouin explores both of these possibilities.

A Terrifying Grace

A Terrifying Grace PDF Author: Rob Yule
Publisher: WestBow Press
ISBN: 151278088X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 330

Get Book

Book Description
Romance and sexual intimacy are among lifes highest joys. How we handle our sexuality is an ultimate challenge, particularly in todays sexualised global culture. Rob Yule looks at a fascinating selection of romantic relationships from throughout Christian history, from Augustine, Abelard and Helose, and the Luthers to Billy and Ruth Graham and Pope Saint John Paul II. Illustrating how challenging and far-from-straightforward the relationship of men and women is in real life, he draws many insights for relationships and marriage today. A Terrifying Grace explores the romantic relationships of leading Christians throughout history and how they handled sex and marriage. What were their relationships and marriages like? What did they believe or teach about sexuality and marriage? Did their marriages or celibate lives live up to their professed beliefs? How did they handle the joys, pains, temptations, and responsibilities of their intimate relationships, alongside their public life and witness? Even great Christians have struggled to handle their intimate relationships. We can learn much from them how to live with integrity in todays hypersexualised culture.

Spiritual Bypassing

Spiritual Bypassing PDF Author: Robert Augustus Masters, Ph.D.
Publisher: North Atlantic Books
ISBN: 1583942920
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Get Book

Book Description
“A wonderfully significant and important book.” —Ken Wilber, The Integral Vision “A timely and penetrating analysis of spirituality’s shadow.” —Stephen Batchelor, Buddhism without Beliefs A spiritual teacher and integral psychotherapist offers a first-of-its-kind study on how we use—and abuse—spiritual beliefs and practices, revealing how to identify and move beyond what holds us back from living life fully. Spiritual bypassing—the use of spiritual beliefs to avoid dealing with painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs—is so pervasive that it goes largely unnoticed. The spiritual ideals of any tradition, whether Christian commandments or Buddhist precepts, can provide easy justification for practitioners to duck uncomfortable feelings in favor of more seemingly enlightened activity. When split off from fundamental psychological needs, such actions often do much more harm than good. While other authors have touched on the subject, this is the first book fully devoted to spiritual bypassing. In the lineage of Chögyam Trungpa’s landmark Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, Spiritual Bypassing provides an in-depth look at the unresolved or ignored psychological issues often masked as spirituality, including self-judgment, excessive niceness, and emotional dissociation. A longtime psychotherapist with an engaging writing style, Masters furthers the body of psychological insight into how we use (and abuse) religion in often unconscious ways. This book will hold particular appeal for those who grew up with an unstructured new-age spirituality now looking for a more mature spiritual practice, and for anyone seeking increased self-awareness and a more robust relationship with themselves and others.

Making Our Own Destiny

Making Our Own Destiny PDF Author: Lynne Y. Nakano
Publisher: University of Hawaii Press
ISBN: 0824891996
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 257

Get Book

Book Description
In East Asia’s largest cities, hundreds of thousands of women remain single into middle age and beyond, giving rise to a demographic transformation with profound implications for their societies. Labeled in the media as “loser dogs” and “parasites” in Japan and “leftover women” in mainland China and Hong Kong, single women in East Asia are criticized for being choosy, selfish, and overly independent. Based on ethnographic research and interviews with more than a hundred single women in Shanghai, Hong Kong, and Tokyo, Making Our Own Destiny is the first study to comprehensively compare the views and experiences of single women living in these three great cities—cities that stand at the forefront of the region’s movement toward later marriage and rising singlehood. This well-researched book explores how single women attempt to take advantage of unprecedented opportunities for success in education and work while navigating marriage and family expectations. Unlike their counterparts in Europe and North America, many do not have romantic partners and most do not have children. What do these women want? How do they see themselves and their place in society? What are their values, goals, and dreams? As they work to balance opportunities with expectations, single women in urban East Asia find themselves deeply embedded in the caregiving systems of their societies. In Shanghai, author Lynne Nakano finds single women rushing to marry to enter intergenerational relationships of care. In Hong Kong, they consider the risks of marriage as they tend to the needs of natal and extended families. In Tokyo, many single women hope to marry to have children while others find a place for themselves in their families as elder caregivers. Nakano’s intimate portrayals not only expose meticulously planned family strategies gone awry, engagements broken, and careers abandoned, but also highlight the experiences of women embracing the joys of remaining single. Hers is a fascinating study of modern women finding meaning in their lives while offering an insightful glimpse into the future of urban families in an age of low fertility and long transitions into adulthood.

The Relationship People

The Relationship People PDF Author: Erika R Alpert
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1498594212
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 179

Get Book

Book Description
Japan has often been portrayed as a mysterious, sexless, troubled land. Birth rates and marriage rates have been decreasing for decades, and national surveys show that Japanese people are simply having less sex overall. But Japan is not so different from anywhere else—it’s simply on the leading edge of worldwide demographic shifts. Because of rigid norms around gender, marriage, childbearing, and work, and relatively strict immigration policies, Japan is also experiencing these shifts more acutely. In The Relationship People, Erika R. Alpert starts by exploring some of the factors that have contributed to later and less marriage and childbearing in Japan and elsewhere. Alpert then goes on to explore the disjuncture between what Japanese singles report as preventing them from getting married and popularly proposed solutions to this problem. Japanese singles point to economic factors, such as low income, as one of their most significant barriers to marriage. However, much of the popular discourse aimed at Japanese singles elides these economic concerns; instead, it encourages them to exert more personal effort to meet people in order to get married. These “marriage activities” (konkatsu) may take the form of signing up with a professional matchmaker, using an online dating site, or going to singles’ parties. By examining konkatsu from the perspective of matchmakers, clients, and online daters, Alpert looks at the linguistic processes of connection that underpin konkatsu and its successes—or more often, failures. Institutions of matchmaking and technological structures such as databases and online profiles give shape to the ways singles connect. As this research shows, understanding this linguistic connective tissue enables us to answer questions about what constitutes “attractive” and “marriageable” in Japan, what kind of consciousness konkatsu is supposed to instill in singles, and what role Japan’s various partner matching industries might be able to play in alleviating the country’s demographic crisis.

The Anatomy of Loneliness

The Anatomy of Loneliness PDF Author: Chikako Ozawa-de Silva
Publisher: Univ of California Press
ISBN: 0520383486
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 285

Get Book

Book Description
Introduction : disconnected people and the lonely society -- Subjectivity and empathy -- Too lonely to die alone : internet group suicide -- Connecting the disconnected : suicide websites -- Meaning in life : exploring the need to be needed among young Japanese -- Surviving 3.11 -- The anatomy of resilience -- What loneliness can teach us.

The Spiritual Lives and Manuscript Cultures of Eighteenth-Century English Women

The Spiritual Lives and Manuscript Cultures of Eighteenth-Century English Women PDF Author: Cynthia Aalders
Publisher: Oxford University Press
ISBN: 0198872305
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 292

Get Book

Book Description
The Spiritual Lives and Manuscript Cultures of Eighteenth-Century English Women explores the vital and unexplored ways in which women's life writings acted to undergird, guide, and indeed shape religious communities. Through an exploration of various significant but understudied personal relationships- including mentorship by older women, spiritual friendship, and care for nonbiological children-the book demonstrates the multiple ways in which women were active in writing religious communities. The women discussed here belonged to communities that habitually communicated through personal writing. At the same time, their acts of writing were creative acts, powerful to build and shape religious communities: these women wrote religious community. The book consists of a series of interweaving case studies and focuses on Catherine Talbot (1721-70), Anne Steele (1717-78), and Ann Bolton (1743-1822), and on their literary interactions with friends and family. Considered together, these subjects and sources allow comparison across denomination, for Talbot was Anglican, Steele a Baptist, and Bolton a Methodist. Further, it considers women's life writings as spiritual legacy, as manuscripts were preserved by female friends and family members and continued to function in religious communities after the death of their authors. Various strands of enquiry weave through the book: questions of gender and religion, themselves inflected by denomination; themes related to life writings and manuscript cultures; and the interplay between the writer as individual and her relationships and communal affiliations. The result is a variegated and highly textured account of eighteenth-century women's spiritual and writing lives.

The Politics of International Marriage in Japan

The Politics of International Marriage in Japan PDF Author: Viktoriya Kim
Publisher: Rutgers University Press
ISBN: 1978809018
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 195

Get Book

Book Description
Focusing on three cultural/ethnic groups in terms of empirical data - women from the former Soviet Union countries, the Philippines, and Western countries - this book highlights the complex interplay between national, cultural, gender, and ethnicity boundary maintenance that constructs international marriages in Japan at multiple levels, providing a comprehensive account of international marriage in the contemporary Japanese context.

Opting Out

Opting Out PDF Author: Joanna Davidson
Publisher: Rutgers University Press
ISBN: 1978830122
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 132

Get Book

Book Description
Women around the world are opting out of marriage. Through nuanced ethnographic accounts of the ways that women are moving the needle on marital norms and practices, Opting Out reveals the conditions that make this widespread phenomenon possible in places where marriage has long been obligatory. Each chapter invites readers into the lives of particular women and the changing circumstances in which these lives unfold - sometimes painfully, sometimes humorously, and always unexpectedly. Taken together, the essays in this volume prompt the following questions: Why is marriage so consistently disappointing for women? When the rewards of economic stability and the social status that marriage confers are troubled, does marriage offer women anything compelling at all? Across diverse geographic contexts in Africa, Asia, and Latin America, this book offers sensitive and powerful portrayals of women as they escape or reshape marriage into a more rewarding arrangement.