I Want My Epidural Back PDF Download
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Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062427091
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 219
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Book Description
Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062427091
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 219
Get Book Here
Book Description
Now that I’m a mom, I know the most painful part isn’t getting something giant through your hooha. It’s having a real live child. If you are the kind of mom who shapes your kiddo’s organic quinoa into reproductions of the Mona Lisa, do not read this book. If you stayed up past midnight to create posters for your PTO presidential campaign, do not read this book. If you look down your nose at parents who have Domino’s pizza on speed dial, do not read this book. But if you are the kind of parent who accidentally goes ballistic on your rugrats every morning because they won’t put their shoes on and then you feel super guilty about it all day so you take them to McDonald’s for a special treat but really it’s because you opened up your freezer and panicked because you forgot to buy more frozen pizzas, then absolutely read this book. I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert’s honest but hilarious observations, stories, quips and pictures will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you’re smart and read it there.
Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062341618
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 249
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Book Description
“Crass, inappropriate, and absolutely hysterical. In other words, absolutely everything you could want in a parenting book and more.” —Jill Smokler, New York Times–bestselling author Following the success of Go the F**k to Sleep, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends. Then you gave birth to a poop machine (or two). Now, it’s all about the pediatrician, breast pumps, princess dresses, and minivans. And discovering that your pride and joy is actually a little A-hole. When your son wakes you up at 3:00 A.M. because he wants to watch Caillou, he’s an a-hole. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she’s an a-hole. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they’re a-holes. At times like these, it’s only natural to want to kill them (or yourself). But it’s against the law (and there’s the suicide hotline). Plus, there’s that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. In I Heart My Little A-Holes, Karen Alpert shares hilarious stories, lists, and deep thoughts on the joys and horrors of raising children. Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you’ll wish you were wearing a diaper.
Author: Gilbert J. Grant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780975993934
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 128
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Book Description
Epidural Without Guilt is the only book that takes the fear and mystery out of pain relief for childbirth. In Epidural Without Guilt, Dr. Gilbert J Grant, director of obstetric anesthesia at New York University - Langone Medical Center in New York City, analyzes the latest medical studies about epidurals and spinals, and presents them in a commonsense, reader-friendly format. In Epidural Without Guilt, Dr. Grant shares insights he has gained from caring for thousands of women giving birth over the past quarter-century, debunks the myths about epidurals and spinals, and explains how you can safely and comfortably enjoy the birth your child.
Author: Jackie Mize
Publisher: Destiny Image Publishers
ISBN: 1606830767
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 105
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Book Description
Pregnancy and childbirth are often depicted as a time of sickness and mood swings for women followed by twelve to twenty hours of pain and hard labor. Many women have been told they can never conceive. Others have suffered the pain of conceiving and miscarrying. Have you had enough of this picture? Supernatural Childbirth is a practical...
Author: Nancy Bardacke
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062205978
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 389
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Book Description
With Mindful Birthing, Nancy Bardacke, nurse-midwife and mindfulness teacher, lays out her innovative program for pregnancy, childbirth, and beyond. Drawing on groundbreaking research in neuroscience, mindfulness meditation, and mind/body medicine, Bardacke offers practices that will help you find calm and ease during this life-changing time, providing lifelong skills for healthy living and wise parenting. SOME OF THE BENEFITS OF MINDFUL BIRTHING: Increases confidence and decreases fear of childbirth Taps into deep inner resources for working with pain Improves couple communication, connection, and cooperation Provides stress-reducing skills for greater joy and wellbeing
Author: Meaghan O'Connell
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316393835
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 169
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Book Description
A raw, funny, and fiercely honest account of becoming a mother before feeling like a grown up. When Meaghan O'Connell got accidentally pregnant in her twenties and decided to keep the baby, she realized that the book she needed -- a brutally honest, agenda-free reckoning with the emotional and existential impact of motherhood -- didn't exist. So she decided to write it herself. And Now We Have Everything is O'Connell's exploration of the cataclysmic, impossible-to-prepare-for experience of becoming a mother. With her dark humor and hair-trigger B.S. detector, O'Connell addresses the pervasive imposter syndrome that comes with unplanned pregnancy, the fantasies of a "natural" birth experience that erode maternal self-esteem, post-partum body and sex issues, and the fascinating strangeness of stepping into a new, not-yet-comfortable identity. Channeling fears and anxieties that are still taboo and often unspoken, And Now We Have Everything is an unflinchingly frank, funny, and visceral motherhood story for our times, about having a baby and staying, for better or worse, exactly yourself. Smart, funny, and true in all the best ways, this book made me ache with recognition." -- Cheryl Strayed
Author: Cathryn Jakobson Ramin
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062641808
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 412
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Book Description
The acclaimed author of Carved in Sand—a veteran investigative journalist who endured persistent back pain for decades—delivers the definitive book on the subject: an essential examination of all facets of the back pain industry, exploring what works, what doesn't, what may cause harm, and how to get on the road to recovery. In her effort to manage her chronic back pain, investigative reporter Cathryn Jakobson Ramin spent years and a small fortune on a panoply of treatments. But her discomfort only intensified, leaving her feeling frustrated and perplexed. As she searched for better solutions, she exposed a much bigger problem. Costing roughly $100 billion a year, spine medicine—often ineffective and sometimes harmful —exemplified the worst aspects of the U.S. health care system. The result of six years of intensive investigation, Crooked offers a startling look at the poorly identified risks of spine medicine, and provides practical advice and solutions. Ramin interviewed scores of spine surgeons, pain management doctors, physical medicine and rehabilitation physicians, exercise physiologists, physical therapists, chiropractors, specialized bodywork practitioners. She met with many patients whose pain and desperation led them to make life-altering decisions, and with others who triumphed over their limitations. The result is a brilliant and comprehensive book that is not only important but essential to millions of back pain sufferers, and all types of health care professionals. Ramin shatters assumptions about surgery, chiropractic methods, physical therapy, spinal injections and painkillers, and addresses evidence-based rehabilitation options—showing, in detail, how to avoid therapeutic dead ends, while saving money, time, and considerable anguish. With Crooked, she reveals what it takes to outwit the back pain industry and get on the road to recovery.
Author: Rachel Gurevich
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 1118432134
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 412
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Book Description
The easy, trusted way to develop a birth plan As an expectant mother and parent, navigating all of the information and options for labor and delivery can be cumbersome and confusing. Birth Plans For Dummies, is the ultimate resource guide to help you understand, develop, and implement a plan for the birth of your baby. A birth plan is a communication tool for expectant mothers and those involved in the delivery of a child. The plan explains the mother's preferences for labor and delivery and eliminates any confusion. There are a wide variety of methods, strategies, and techniques available to pregnant women preparing for delivery—and this hands-on, friendly guide covers them all. Covers choosing the setting and method that best fits the mothers needs and wishes Informs expectant parents about the numerous pain management and labor intervention options Provides instruction on developing and writing a birth plan and putting it into action If you are an expectant mother or parent looking for a guide to help develop a plan for the birth of your child, then Birth Plans For Dummies is the perfect book for you.
Author: William Camann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0307484092
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 338
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Book Description
THE FIRST COMPLETE, COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO PAIN RELIEF DURING LABOR AND DELIVERY Far too many expectant mothers find themselves unprepared when labor begins and natural techniques don’t effectively manage the pain. This indispensable guide provides reassuring, proven approaches to combining medical and natural techniques to ensure the most comfortable pain-free labor possible. In Easy Labor, you’ll discover • what to expect during labor, and key factors that affect your comfort • the facts on epidurals, safety concerns, and how effectively they reduce pain • the pros and cons of pain-relief medications • complementary and alternative methods, including water immersion, acupuncture, hypnosis, massage, and birth balls • how your choice of hospital or birth center affects your pain-management options • techniques to calm and eliminate the specific fears and stresses associated with childbirth So relax and enjoy your pregnancy, with this important book by your side!
Author: Karen Alpert
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0358346266
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 276
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Book Description
Do you ever feel like you’re failing miserably at parenting? Do your kids keep acting like douchenuggets no matter what you do? Then this book is for you. From the creator of Baby Sideburns and I Heart My Little A-Holes (and the creator of two kids who once were little a-holes but are slowly turning into awesome human beings), Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes is a hilariously honest parenting guide written by a regular mom who doesn’t always know WTF she’s doing. Just like you. Featuring side-splittingly funny pictures, stories, and chapters like: You Are Not Your Kiddo's Servant Picasso's Mom Didn't Tell Him to Draw the Eyes in the Right Place Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones But Words Will Cost Thousands in Therapy If They Say "I Hate You," Then You're Probably Doing It Right Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be A-Holes will make you laugh, cry, laugh until you cry, and feel like you’re having coffee (and a little sumpin' in it) with a best friend who has some of the answers to THE hardest job on earth: parenting. And maybe, just maybe, it might help you get the a-hole out of your kids* *not a guarantee
