How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack

How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack PDF Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 158008463X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Garden Gnomes

Garden Gnomes PDF Author: Twigs Way
Publisher: Shire Publications
ISBN: 9780747807100
Category : Gardening
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.

Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop

Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop PDF Author: Reginald Bakeley
Publisher: Conari Press
ISBN: 1609258045
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 210

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Book Description
Help is on the way! In the tradition of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop shows how to banish those pesky dark Fairy creatures who are ready to thwart every last pleasure, be it gardening, country hikes, or even getting a good night’s sleep. In this charming guide, "fairy hunter" Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of these unsettling inhabitants, and banish them from your chicken coop and kitchen cupboard forever! In Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop readers will discover: Why a bustle in one’s hedgerow may be cause for alarm Why a garden fumigator may come in handy on evenings at the pub Why a toy merchant, a butcher, and a Freemason are among your best allies in the fight against the fey Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop is the only complete manual on how to identify, track, defend, and destroy those bothersome brownies, goblins, dwarves, scheming flowerfairies, and other nasty members of the fairy realm.

How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win

How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win PDF Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1626864225
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 257

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Book Description
A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

Outwitting Squirrels

Outwitting Squirrels PDF Author: Bill Adler, Jr.
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
ISBN: 1569764808
Category : Gardening
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
A book illustrating and explaining a series of strategems to keep squirrels from eating and ruining yards and gardens when more traditional tactics fail.

The Art of Disappearing

The Art of Disappearing PDF Author: Ivy Pochoda
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1429918934
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 332

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Book Description
Ivy Pochoda's spellbinding and cinematic storytelling seamlessly fuses timeless magic to modern-day passion. Haunting and beautiful, The Art of Disappearing is an imaginative and captivating love story destined to enchant readers for years to come. How do you know if love is real or just an illusion? When Mel Snow meets the talented magician Toby Warring in a dusty roadside bar, she is instantly drawn to the brilliant performer whose hands can effortlessly pull stray saltshakers and poker chips from thin air and conjure castles out of the desert sands. Just two days later they are married, beginning their life together in the shadow of Las Vegas, where Toby hopes to make it big. Mel knows that magicians are a dime a dozen, but Toby is different—his magic is real. As Toby's renown grows and Mel falls more and more in love with his wonderments, she starts to realize that Toby's powers are as unstable as they are dazzling. She learns that he once made his assistant disappear completely, and couldn't bring her back. And then, just as Mel becomes convinced that his magic is dangerous, a trick goes terribly awry during his Strip debut. Exiled from the stage, Mel and Toby flee the lights of Las Vegas for the streets of Amsterdam where a cabal of old-time magicians, real magicians like Toby, try to rescue him from his despair. But he's haunted by the trick that failed, and obsessed with using his powers to right his mistakes, leaving Mel to wonder if the love they share is genuine or merely a fantasy, conjured up by a lost magician looking to save himself from being alone.

This Book Is for You

This Book Is for You PDF Author: Worry Lines
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1984860275
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 211

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Book Description
Beloved artist Worry Lines shares a sweetly funny and deeply relatable illustrated story about hope, worry, and chocolate chip cookies. Worry Lines has captured hearts around the world by posting daily drawings on Instagram. In this book, Worry Lines interweaves these fan-favorites into an entirely new story about the making of the book itself. Charting the creative process from its anxiety-riddled beginning to its (hopefully) hopeful end, This Book Is for You is a charming and honest portrait of worry. This book is for you if you are: 1. A Brave Worrier (BW) 2. An Absolute Legend (AL) 3. Anywhere from Mildly Concerned About Something (MCAS) to Deeply Anxious About Everything (DAAE)

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides)

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides) PDF Author: The Oatmeal
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449406750
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
In Matthew Inman's New York Times best selling 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides), samurai sword-wielding kittens and hamsters that love .50-caliber machine guns commingle with a cracked out Tyrannosaur that is extremely hard to potty train. Bacon is better than true love and you may awake in the middle of the night to find your nephew nibbling on your toes. Sixtry of Inman's comic illustrations and life-bending guides are presented in full-color inside 5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth (And Other Useful Guides). Consider such handy advice as: 4 Reasons to Carry a Shovel at All Times, 6 Types of Crappy Hugs, 8 Ways to Tell if Your Loved One Plans to Eat You, 17 Things Worth Knowing About Your Cat, and 20 Things Worth Knowing About Beer.

How to Survive Anything 1

How to Survive Anything 1 PDF Author: Lonely Planet
Publisher: Lonely Planet
ISBN: 1743609515
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Book Description
How to Survive Anything. A visual guide to laughing in the face of adversity. Earthquake imminent? Stuck in the middle seat on a long-haul flight? Here is a book that will teach you How To Survive Anything. Using the witty, graphic format it will help you withstand any challenge, from the extreme to the ordinary, that life might throw your way. Important Notice: The digital edition of this book may not contain all of the images found in the physical edition.

Eating People is Wrong

Eating People is Wrong PDF Author: Malcolm Bradbury
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 9780099184409
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308

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Book Description