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Author: Steve Levy
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316040398
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177
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Book Description
Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely. And that means one thing: investment opportunities! For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon? Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, How to Profit From the Coming Rapture instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
Author: Steve Levy
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316040398
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177
Get Book Here
Book Description
Are the end times near? Is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? About 1 billion people among us believe, yes, absolutely. And that means one thing: investment opportunities! For those who are not as expertly versed in the Book of Revelation, Ellis Weiner and Barbara Davilman, authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane, helpfully offer both illumination and advice: What exactly is the Rapture, anyway? How is it different from the Tribulation? Who are the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen, and the 144,000 male virgins, and what do they want? And, most important, how can I make money during the 7 years of societal breakdown before Armaggedon? Taking the familiar form of a how-to investment guide, How to Profit From the Coming Rapture instructs those readers who will certainly be left behind (Jews, Catholics, Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, less ardent Protestants, and many more) on how to exploit the inevitable demise of the world in order to make a tidy profit. Sure, the rivers and seas will run with blood, locusts will swarm, mountains will move all over the place, and famine will strike. But for the five billion of us left behind, the post-Rapture world will be a time of even more unique investment opportunities.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316465283
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 503
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Book Description
Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League -- universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education -- have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate? Whether you're a high school student grinding away in the hope of gaining admission to one of these institutions, a parent propelling a child toward Ivy glory, a current Ivy League undergraduate wondering "What the hell is this place?" -- or even an Ivy League alum, professor, administrator, or dropout -- this book was written specifically for you. As a warning. Because there are certain things -- monstrous things -- that go unmentioned in the catalog, campus tour, or employment package. And if your Ivy League application was rejected, here's compelling and consoling evidence of how lucky you are.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1466873035
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 140
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Book Description
Yes, you're spiritually enlightened. But is your dog? With Arffirmations, any dog—of any age, breed, or gender—can attain the same level of personal enlightenment and metaphysical peace that, until now, only humans could enjoy. Simply present Arffirmations to your dog and allow the animal to read them at his or her own pace. In as little as a week, your pet will experience a new reality. A reality of wisdom. A reality of radiance. A reality of joy. Really. In these pages your pet will find a wide variety of inspiring meditations, including: · Arffirmations for Attracting and Accepting Food · Arffirmations About Attaining Enlightenment · Arffirmations of Self-Love and Self-Acceptance To all owners who want their dogs to live with the fullest possible awareness of Life... And to all dogs seeking the wisdom and peace that can only be found in the deepest appreciation of one's place in the cycle of Waking, Eating, Sleeping, and Barking One's Brains Out... We present: Arffirmations
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101457112
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 281
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Book Description
A hilarious compendium of traditional wisdom, recipes, and lore from the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane. Modern Jews have forgotten cherished traditions and become, sadly, all- too assimilated. It's enough to make you meshugeneh. Today's Jews need to relearn the old ways so that cultural identity means something other than laughing knowingly at Curb Your Enthusiasm- and The Big Jewish Book for Jews is here to help. This wise and wise-cracking fully-illustrated book offers invaluable instruction on everything from how to sacrifice a lamb unto the lord to the rules of Mahjong. Jews of all ages and backgrounds will welcome the opportunity to be the Jewiest Jew of all, and reconnect to ancestors going all the way back to Moses and a time when God was the only GPS a Jew needed.
Author: Ellis Weiner
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1429997001
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 79
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Book Description
Everyone knows cats think they're so special. But how can they explain why to mere humans? Where do cats get their sense of superiority? How do they manipulate us so easily? Cat-echisms answers these eternal feline questions in an easy question-and-answer form. The result? A privileged peek inside the feline brain. In the process, cat owners--and even those who admire cats from afar--are entertained as well as enlightened. Fully illustrated with delightful photos of haughty (and gorgeous) cats, Cat-echisms collects the fundamental tenets of feline existence as if in a handbook to be given to all kitties at birth. Thus, for example, we read: Q: Who is the most perfect creature in the household? A: I am the most perfect creature in the household. Q: Why are you the most perfect creature in the household? A: I am the most perfect creature in the household because I am beautiful and exquisite and move in divine silence.
Author: William Loyal Warren
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1450233821
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 273
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Book Description
RELIGION/SPIRITUALITY The Lord Jesus said there will be signs at the End Time. No one knows the exact day or hour, but there are many redflag and discernable indications that time truly is drawing nigh. The book, Jesus Rapture Is Coming Soon lists many of the moral, political, scientific, and environmental events taking shape today that clearly validates the very signs Jesus prophesied. Those who have eyes that see and ears that hear have the spiritual awareness to prepare for this apocalypse as foretold in the Book of Revelation. Many say, Its been thousands of years since Jesus spoke of the End-Time signs. Little do they know that a thousand years of man is only one day of the Lords time. To break it down even further, one second of the Lords time is equal to 4.22 days of the human clock. Our life here on earth is like a blade of grass. We can be stepped upon by a multitude of death-like situations. Being prepared to meet thy maker is second to nothing in the world. Knowing some of the signs of the End Time and becoming close to the Lord Jesus brings His peace, joy and assurance in ones life here and the hereafter. In conclusion, no one knows the day or hour of his or her own life on earth. Would it not be wise to mentally and spiritually prepare your heart, mind, soul and spirit for the possible now --- as well as for the End Time.
Author: John Shirley
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 9780765367358
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 436
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Book Description
"The prequel to the award-winning and bestselling video game franchise"--Cover.
Author: David Wolman
Publisher: Da Capo Press
ISBN: 0306822695
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
For ages, money has meant little metal disks and rectangular slips of paper. Yet the usefulness of physical money -- to say nothing of its value -- is coming under fire as never before. Intrigued by the distinct possibility that cash will soon disappear, author and Wired contributing editor David Wolman sets out to investigate the future of money...and how it will affect your wallet. Wolman begins his journey by deciding to shun cash for an entire year -- a surprisingly successful experiment (with a couple of notable exceptions). He then ventures forth to find people and technologies that illuminate the road ahead. In Honolulu, he drinks Mai Tais with Bernard von NotHaus, a convicted counterfeiter and alternative-currency evangelist whom government prosecutors have labeled a domestic terrorist. In Tokyo, he sneaks a peek at the latest anti-counterfeiting wizardry, while puzzling over the fact that banknote forgers depend on society's addiction to cash. In a downtrodden Oregon town, he mingles with obsessive coin collectors -- the people who are supposed to love cash the most, yet don't. And in rural Georgia, he examines why some people feel the end of cash is Armageddon's warm-up act. After stops at the Digital Money Forum in London and Iceland's central bank, Wolman flies to Delhi, where he sees first-hand how cash penalizes the poor more than anyone--and how mobile technologies promise to change that. Told with verve and wit, The End of Money explores an aspect of our daily lives so fundamental that we rarely stop to think about it. You'll never look at a dollar bill the same again.
Author: Ernest Johnson
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1479760250
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 117
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Book Description
Second Coming of Christ by Ernest Johnson America in Prophecy Rapture Signs of the Times Hatred America in Prophecy America is in directly mentioned in prophecy contrary to modern Christian dogma. This is what you dont know America has the weaponry to boom boom the world back to Stone Age. The Christian Rapture will leave America powerless. America will rise, America will challenge, America will face Jehovah then America will bravely fight and die. Rapture The Rapture will leave dead bodies by the billions throughout the plain. Souls will be snatched up or caught up. This perspective is also contrary to Christian dogma (Tenets). Lets take a stroll through the sculptures and reevaluate this issue. This chapter is scripturally infested. Signs of the Times. Signs of the Times include: cold love, lawlessness, birth pangs, warring nations, Apostate Church and a demonic world, a world that is twisted, upside down and backwards. The Kingdom came and was established 2000 years ago. Now we are at the times of the end. Hatred. Hell itself has made its abode in each Soul. Hatred is second nature to us all. Hatred is Satans dying love for us monkey humans. He also twistedly believe that God also hated us. Truly Hell is vibrations or hate will spark heavens wrath and the earth will become the receptor of all hateful vibrations from hell, man and God. Faith is insane asylum of the galaxy.
Author: Thomas S McCall
Publisher: Zola Levitt Ministries
ISBN: 1930749945
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 172
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Book Description
Our updated release of The Coming Russian Invasion of Israel, this study of a primary End Times prophecy is vital for all who believe the Scriptures. One chapter, A Strategy for Unbelievers, even tells unbelievers how to cope with the Tribulation Period! This basic book of prophecy analyzes the world situation in surprising terms. Hal Lindsey: “A must for everyone who wants to know where we are on God’s timetable.” For many the idea of Russia attacking Israel is unbelievable — if not outright preposterous. After all, hasn’t Russia lost virtually all her military and political importance? Almost everyone important says so — the White House, the Congress, the Kremlin itself. Everyone except God. In two of the most riveting chapter in the Bible, the prophet Ezekiel forces a great northern ground army descending upon Israel shortly before the return of Christ. Who will that nation be? The answer is easier to detect than you may think — yet more startling than you may have imagined. In Coming: The End!, Thomas McCall and Zola Levitt offer the interpretive key that unlocks the identity of this nation and the important details of the invasion. Using the prophet Ezekiel as a war correspondent and a “historian of the future,” the authors answer such crucial questions as: * Why would Russia want to attack Israel? * What will the Russians’ strategy be? * How soon could they attack? And what does that mean for the United States and our foreign policy today? Why wait for Dan Rather? Ezekiel can show you one of history’s most startling wars — before it ever takes place!
