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Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1629142956
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 116
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Book Description
Although no one has ever said that growing old is a zany laugh riot, humor certainly eases the path to and through one’s golden years. And here is a heaping dose of jokes and anecdotes (anecdotes for one’s anec-dotage, you might say) to lighten and brighten the day of anyone who’s reached that certain age. You and the special senior in your life will laugh at jokes about a wide range of subjects, including . . . One-Liners: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” —Andy Rooney Memory: A senior citizen driving on the highway received a cell phone call from his wife. “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” The husband replied, “I know, but there isn’t just one—there are hundreds!” Sex and the Senior: An eighty-two-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Several days later the doctor spoke to his patient and commented, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” The man replied, “I’m just doing what you said, Doc—‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’” The doctor said, “I didn't say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’” Belly Laughs is a “lode” of fun for the young at heart of all ages, especially the golden age. Remember this bit of sage advice: “If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.”
Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1629142956
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 116
Get Book Here
Book Description
Although no one has ever said that growing old is a zany laugh riot, humor certainly eases the path to and through one’s golden years. And here is a heaping dose of jokes and anecdotes (anecdotes for one’s anec-dotage, you might say) to lighten and brighten the day of anyone who’s reached that certain age. You and the special senior in your life will laugh at jokes about a wide range of subjects, including . . . One-Liners: “I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” —Andy Rooney Memory: A senior citizen driving on the highway received a cell phone call from his wife. “Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!” The husband replied, “I know, but there isn’t just one—there are hundreds!” Sex and the Senior: An eighty-two-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical. A few days later the doctor saw him walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. Several days later the doctor spoke to his patient and commented, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?” The man replied, “I’m just doing what you said, Doc—‘Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’” The doctor said, “I didn't say that. I said, ‘You’ve got a heart murmur. Be careful.’” Belly Laughs is a “lode” of fun for the young at heart of all ages, especially the golden age. Remember this bit of sage advice: “If you laugh a lot, when you get older your wrinkles will be in the right places.”
Author: Donald B. Lemke
Publisher: Capstone
ISBN: 143423214X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 66
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Book Description
Omar Grebes and his friend Tommy Goff are both reckless skateboarders, but when they become involved with a mysterious organization called The Revolution, things get confusing and dangerous.
Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493041207
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 343
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Book Description
Here are1,237 laugh-out-loud quotes, quips, and jokes, all in one packed-to-the-brim volume. Yes, folks, sit back and enjoy this collection of inadvertent gaffes, thigh-slappers, puns, and everything and anything else that'll tickle your funny bone. There’s something old, something new, something stolen, and something blue—from favorite comedians, sports and political figures, and literary wits. There are even giggles for the kids and groaners for the grown-ups. Just a few among the 1,237 funniest things ever said: “I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.”—Rita Rudner “I don’t know if it’s good for baseball, but it sure beats the hell out of rooming with Phil Rizzuto.”—Yogi Berra on being told that Joe DiMaggio was to marry Marilyn Monroe “I made my money the old-fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.”—Malcolm Forbes “The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then, after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’”—Bill Maher
Author: Andrene Low
Publisher: Squabbling Sparrows Press
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 406
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Book Description
She's lost her soul mate. She doesn't believe you get a second. Will the least likely candidate of all be able to change her mind. Jennie Farrell always believed there was a happily ever after out there for everyone. Shame she’s missed out on her own. Rocking up in London with close friend Samantha, Jennie falls back on her long-ignored artistic skills to make ends meet. Her future is even looking bright when she runs into Rupert Smythe-Brown, an aristocratic prat used to getting his own way, no matter who gets hurt in the process. Painted into a corner, Jennie turns feral and Rupert doesn’t know what’s hit him. Well he does, but for once he’s not enjoying it. Thank goodness she’s got Mark, a strapping six foot four Aussie bloke watching her back and keeping her out of trouble — at least when he’s not trying to get her into it. Brush With Fame is a chuckle along, feel good book for any woman who’s ever wanted to fight back but hasn’t felt strong enough. TRIGGER WARNING: Set in the seventies, the book contains swearing, drinking, and bad behaviour. Please do not read this novel if this will upset you and cause an adverse reaction. This series is full of bad language, bad behaviour and poorly executed Farrah Fawcett hairstyles. While laugh-out-loud at times, the books also touch on real life, making them raw in places.
Author: Dale L. Anderson
Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
ISBN: 1620459280
Category : Health & Fitness
Languages : en
Pages : 96
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Book Description
A simple fitness program that's music to your years . . . A study conducted by the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company shows that orchestra conductors live 38 percent longer than the general population. The reason is simple--conducting is good cardiovascular exercise. In this book, Dr. Dale Anderson has adapted the conducting motion into a fun and easy upper-body fitness program that will help you: Strengthen heart and lungs Improve posture, flexibility, and balance Reduce pain and stress Lose weight Feel better by raising your endorphin level Anyone can benefit from this breakthrough technique--a great alternative to full-body workouts that doesn't require special equipment or a lot of time. The Orchestra Conductor's Secret to Health and Long Life also includes other innovative health advice, supplemental exercises, and suggested music to "conduct" to.
Author: Cedrick Mayhem
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1543416012
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 66
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Book Description
This tale is a tale of a womans loyal love in a realm where obedience to a loving dad has huge rewards. It shows you that even princesses can be lonely. Even princesses can be abused. Even princesses can rebel. The princess Sasmacha was written in a year. In a journal taken to the pool. Taken to cafe's an poured into all the pain of an unfaithful husband who devalued his wifes love an abilities. It mirrors real people in my life. It is the summary of the first experience with "adultery". But that is private. So, enter mundo. Be the voyuer- the observer. I am waiting for my sanctions return to thank him for keeping me "undefiled". I dedicate this story to my marcella.. You are always in my heart
Author: Peter Jordan
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 1136488235
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 270
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Book Description
The Venetian Origins of the Commedia dell'Arte is a striking new enquiry into the late-Renaissance stirrings of professional secular comedy in Venice, and their connection to the development of what came to be known as the Commedia dell’Arte. The book contends that through a symbiotic collaboration between patrician amateurs and plebeian professionals, innovative forms of comedy developed in the Venice region, fusing ‘high’ and ‘low’ culture in a provocative mix that had a truly mass appeal. Rich with anecdotes, diary entries and literary – often ribald – comic passages, Peter Jordan's central argument has important implications for the study of Venetian art, popular theatre and European cultural history.
Author: Marilyn Kagan, LCSW
Publisher: Hay House, Inc
ISBN: 1401923704
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 290
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Book Description
Your heart deserves the best protection possible, but you can’t lock it away for safekeeping. You must keep your heart in touch with the world: giving and receiving love and reaching out to embrace the people, activities, and causes that create a deeply rewarding life. In this truly transformative book, Marilyn Kagan, LCSW, and Neil Einbund, Ph.D., well-known therapists in the Los Angeles area, help you discover the common defense mechanisms we all use to guard our hearts against being hurt. Over time, these mechanisms, which the authors have coined "defenders of the heart," can become habitual and overly entrenched. In one way or another, they are at the base of nearly all of our bouts with dissatisfaction. Defenders of the Heart delivers a strong basic understanding of these 10 strategies, shows how to recognize which ones are sabotaging your life, and offers a comprehensive tool set to break free of their life-limiting powers. If you want to change your life yet are too guardedto see the very obvious paths that are open before you, this book will guide you toward the glorious, awe-inspiring, and utterly fulfilled existence you’re striving for!
Author: Ron Gamer
Publisher: Adventure Publications
ISBN: 1591933358
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 255
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Book Description
Travis and Seth are looking forward to a few days of camping in Canada's wild lake country. But when their pilot taxies to the dock, they discover that he's brought along his niece, Jessie. On their way to drop Jessie off at a resort, the pilot is forced to make an emergency landing. The teens and their pilot find themselves facing the enormous challenge of making their way back to civilization. But before they hit the whitewater, they'll have to learn to pull together if all four are to survive. Readers of all ages will love this novel, part of Ron Gamer's outdoor adventure series.
Author: Steven D. Price
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493029436
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 353
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Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.
