Pretty Good Joke Book

Pretty Good Joke Book PDF Author: Garrison Keillor
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Pretty Good Joke Book

Pretty Good Joke Book PDF Author: Garrison Keillor
Publisher: Blackstone Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages :

Get Book Here

Book Description
Over 2,200 Jokes from America’s favorite live radio show A treasury of hilarity from Garrison Keillor and the cast of public radio’s A Prairie Home Companion. A guy walks into a bar. Eight Canada Geese walk into a bar. A termite jumps up on the bar and asks, “Where is the bar tender?” Drum roll. The Sixth Edition of the perennially popular Pretty Good Joke Book is everything the first five were and more. More puns, one-liners, light bulb jokes, knock-knock jokes, and third-grader jokes (have you heard the one about Elvis Parsley?). More religion jokes, political jokes, lawyer jokes, blonde jokes, and jokes in questionable taste (Why did the urologist lose his license? He got in trouble with his peers). More jokes about chickens, relationships, and senior moments (the nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you can enjoy the same jokes again and again). It all started back in 1996, when A Prairie Home Companion fans laughed themselves silly during the first Joke Show. The broadcast was such a hit that it became an almost-annual gagfest. Then fans wanted to read the jokes, share them, and pass them around, and the first Pretty Good Joke Book was born. With over 200 new and updated jokes, the latest edition promises countless giggles, chortles, and guffaws anyone—fans of the radio show or not—will enjoy.

Hookers & Blow Save Christmas

Hookers & Blow Save Christmas PDF Author: Munty C Pepin
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781777225124
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 22

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Book Description
Tom Transport is stuck in the snow with a load of presents and Hookers and Blow must rescue him in time for the town Christmas party.

Christmas Classics Premium Collection: 150+ Novels, Stories & Poems in One Volume (Illustrated)

Christmas Classics Premium Collection: 150+ Novels, Stories & Poems in One Volume (Illustrated) PDF Author: Louisa May Alcott
Publisher: e-artnow
ISBN: 8026848489
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 6223

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Book Description
This carefully crafted ebook: "Christmas Classics Premium Collection: 150+ Novels, Stories & Poems in One Volume (Illustrated)” is formatted for your eReader with a functional and detailed table of contents: Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (L. Frank Baum) Christmas At Sea (Robert Louis Stevenson) The Little City of Hope (F. Marion Crawford) The Gift of the Magi (O. Henry) The First Christmas Of New England (Harriet Beecher Stowe) The Holy Night (Selma Lagerlöf) Christmas in the Olden Time (Walter Scott) Christmas In India (Rudyard Kipling) The Twelve Days of Christmas Silent Night Ring Out, Wild Bells (Alfred Lord Tennyson) Christmas with Grandma Elsie (Martha Finley) Little Lord Fauntleroy (Frances Hodgson Burnett) Anne of Green Gables (Lucy Maud Montgomery) The Christmas Angel (Abbie Farwell Brown) Black Beauty (Anna Sewell) The Christmas Child (Hesba Stretton) Granny's Wonderful Chair (Frances Browne) The Romance of a Christmas Card (Kate Douglas Wiggin) Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Grahame) The Birds' Christmas Carol (Kate Douglas Wiggin) The Wonderful Life - Story of the life and death of our Lord (Hesba Stretton) A Merry Christmas & Other Christmas Stories (Louisa May Alcott) Little Gretchen and the Wooden Shoe (Elizabeth Harrison) A Letter from Santa Claus (Mark Twain) Where Love Is, God Is (Leo Tolstoy) Peter Pan and Wendy (J. M. Barrie) Little Women (Louisa May Alcott) The Wonderful Wizard of OZ (L. Frank Baum) The Christmas Angel (Abbie Farwell Brown) The Tale of Peter Rabbit (Beatrix Potter) Toinette and the Elves (Susan Coolidge) The Heavenly Christmas Tree (Fyodor Dostoevsky) At the Back of the North Wind (George MacDonald) Christmas at Thompson Hall (Anthony Trollope) The Princess and the Goblin (George MacDonald) Thurlow's Christmas Story (John Kendrick Bangs) Christmas Every Day (William Dean Howells) The Lost Word (Henry van Dyke) The Nutcracker and the Mouse King (E. T. A. Hoffmann) The Little Match Girl The Elves and the Shoemaker ...

A Christmas Story

A Christmas Story PDF Author: Jean Shepherd
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307768732
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 109

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Book Description
A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film and the live musical on Fox. The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.

Santa Duck

Santa Duck PDF Author: David Milgrim
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101643625
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 40

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Book Description
Nicholas Duck loves Christmas, and he is happy to try on the new Santa hat that's mysteriously delivered to his house. But when his friends see him and immediately launch into their Christmas lists, he doesn't know what to do . . . until he runs into Santa himself.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die PDF Author: Sarah J. Robinson
Publisher: WaterBrook
ISBN: 0593193539
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 257

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Book Description
A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

The Truth About Santa

The Truth About Santa PDF Author: Gregory Mone
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN: 1608191141
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 158

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Book Description
We all know Santa Claus: fat, jolly, omniscient, swift. Lives in a nice home in the Arctic, with the missus and a pack of elves. Well, forget what you know. Santa Claus is from Greenpoint, Brooklyn, as it turns out, and he's not as fat as he used to be. Here's something else you didn't know: he's been dabbling in some futuristic technology, and has found myriad ways to make his job possible. How can Santa know who's been naughty and nice? Simple: implant listening devices into your ornaments. How can he make it to every house Christmas Eve? That's nothing a little cloning and some wormholes can't solve. And he has plenty of other tactics: quantum entanglement, organ replacement, drug-induced hibernation, and unmanned aerial vehicles, to name just a few. In this fantastically illustrated, affectionate, and hilarious book, Gregory Mone uses science and technology to overturn the assumption that Santa can't be real. Drawing on the work of accomplished scientists and researchers, Mone gives us a whole new portrait of this remarkable man and the miracles he makes happen every year. With imaginative artwork and an eye-catching package, this book makes an outstanding Christmas gift for just about anyone.

Santa's Puppy

Santa's Puppy PDF Author: Catherine Hapka
Publisher: Clarion Books
ISBN: 0358051843
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 243

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Book Description
When eight-year-old Chris discovers a fluffy, white puppy wedged inside his family's chimney on Christmas morning, he knows exactly how it got there because the dog tells him. It turns out Peppermint Bark stowed away in Santa's sleigh, go left behind accidentally, and he can talk! Now Chris must convince his too-cool big sister, Holly, and her best friend, Ivy, that this is Santa's puppy. Chris seems to be the only one who understands what the dog is saying, but Peppermint Bark needs all of their help. If they don't find a portal back to the North Pole before Christmas Day ends, the little dog will be stuck in Poinsettia until next year! Do the kids have enough Christmas spirit to work together and help the jolly little dog jingle all the way home?

Santa's Underwear

Santa's Underwear PDF Author: Marty Rhodes Figley
Publisher: Sleeping Bear Press
ISBN: 1627539743
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 36

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Book Description
It's Christmas Eve and Santa is busy getting gussied up for the big night. But when he goes to put on his warm, cozy (holey, ragged) Christmas underwear, they're nowhere to be found! With undies for every occasion, he tries on the rest of his collection. But nothing is quite right. Just when he's about to give up he find a surprise from his considerate team of reindeer. Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!

The Santa Claus Book

The Santa Claus Book PDF Author: Alden Perkes
Publisher: Lyle Stuart
ISBN: 9780818403811
Category : Christmas
Languages : en
Pages : 150

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Book Description
A history of Santa and his elves.