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Author: Maxime Valette
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345520114
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 290
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Book Description
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”
Author: Maxime Valette
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345520114
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 290
Get Book Here
Book Description
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”
Author: Maxime Valette
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345518764
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 290
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Book Description
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired. Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did. Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better? Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold. Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”
Author: Zach Golden
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0762496355
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 180
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Book Description
Answering the Existential Question of What the F*@# to Do with Your Life with Spot-On Humor (and Profanity) If you've tried and failed to find your purpose in life, you're going to need expert help. From the author of What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner?, this laugh-out-loud career guide will set you straight. Take a brief career quiz to find your perfect match, and get the inside scoop on a wide variety of crappy careers, plus tips on breaking in, leaving you with no excuse not to embark on a fulfilling vocation as: Electrician Therapist T-Shirt Cannon Operator Dental Hygienist Mortician Lobbyist . . . And more. And don't worry: if that perfect career eludes or you fail at everything else, you can always be a realtor.
Author: Mark Manson
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 006245773X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 197
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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
Author: Daryl F. Gates
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 514
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Book Description
The explosive New York Times bestseller by the tough, controversial former LAPD chief, whose career with the force spans such infamous cases as the Hillside Strangler, the Black Panthers, the Patty Hearst kidnapping, and the Robert Kennedy assassination. Includes a new chapter on the Rodney King beating and the recent L.A. riots. "A brisk, anecdotal story of a hot-tempered, stubborn, intelligent and unbelievably egotistical cop".--LA Times. Photos.
Author: Ingrid de la Mare - Kenny
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 172
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Book Description
She was the girl who seemed to have it all, and then she lost it all.Raised by wealthy French parents, she married her first love, fresh out of college in Miami Beach. She followed her handsome jewish husband back to his native New York, where she thrived in the fashion industry, and quickly became the "it girl" of Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week. She faced her share of challenges: the tragic death of her doting father, an oppressive marriage with a husband increasingly obsessed with orthodox judaism, and her first born diagnosed on the spectrum of autism.And then her world turned upside downWhen federal agents knocked on her door one tragic day, her life changed forever. Accused of internet fraud for selling jeans online, De La Mare-Kenny found herself serving a lengthy sentence in a medium - high security federal prison. She ended up doing time that didn't seemingly fit the crime. With no way out, she faced the heart wrenching separation from her three small children, the youngest, then just a baby and her oldest facing the debilitating regression of his mental disability.She tells the story of a mother's life-long fight and sacrifice for her children. The agony and the guilt of being ripped away from them, when they needed her the most. Her personal triumph both over the unjust system that imprisoned her and the many tragedies that marred her life. This is a must-read, riveting tale of the harsh life behind bars, where one woman who was unlikely to survive had to dig deep within herself, to find the strength to make her way back to her children. And, against all odds, used her adversities to succeed and propel herself from shackles, to living a charmed life in dreamy Monte-Carlo.-Rev. Tracy L. Clark, Motivational Speaker and Author of GOD WHERE ARE YOU? IT'S ME."I call Ingrid my rags to riches story and I am not just talking wealth. When I met Ingrid, she was on the verge of losing everything. From her home, to her work to her toxic relationship. Ingrid's gift has always been her children. She will protect them at all costs. She truly loves and honors them like no other. In my humble opinion, she knows very well they saved her life on many levels!What makes a soul successful in life is realizing they need to let go of the past emotionally and, embrace the lessons. INGRID DID THIS! A hard day turned into a new beginning. A struggle turned into a gift. A spark of inspiration and creation turned into a passion. She never took no for an answer.-Dara Kaplan, Partner and Co-Founder of the Manhattan and Miami based, Wunderlich Kaplan Communications. Dara has been featured on Forbes, CNN, Fox News, NYPost, Huffington Post, Daily Mail, Inc.com, Elite Daily and more."It has been truly an honor to watch Ingrid own her truth, rise from ashes, write her destiny, create a brand from the ground up and come to dominate the wellness space. As a branding expert, watching Ingrid so expertly build a tribe of women that have coalesced around and have continuously championed has been nothing short of brilliant and beautiful. She is a true trailblazer and cunning marketer in the digital brand building space. To know Ingrid is to know the personification of perseverance and walking in ones truth."*"Ingrid De La Mare-Kenny truly changed my life for the better. I was immediately intrigued by her charisma, warmth, unapologetic attitude. She has helped me and continues to be such a mentor to me. Not only is she one of my best friends, she also has a huge community full of women who TRUST her. This industry needs her- her book is an absolute gem. Ingrid's adversity has given her depth & relatability which the reader will feel throughout the book. Anyone who reads it will be immediately inspired while feeling her warmth .- Lauryn Evarts Bosstick, Author of The Skinny Confidential: A Babe's Sexy Sexy, Sassy Fitness and Lifestyle Guide and Co-Host of entrepreneurial podcast, The Skinny Confidential HIM & HER featured in SHAPE, Women's Health
Author: Erma Bombeck
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780740721274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 56
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Book Description
In 1979, someone asked humorist Erma Bombeck, "If you had your life to live over, would you change anything'" Her immediate answer was no, but once she thought about it, she changed her mind. The result was a classic column full of Bombeck"s signature wit and warmth. Now the beloved column that has hung on hundreds of refrigerator doors has been cheerily illustrated and designed as a handsome gift book, Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream. In it, Bombeck gently reminds us of what is really important in life:"If I had my life to live over again I would have waxed less and listened more."I would have cried and laughed less while watching television . . . and more while watching real life."But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute of it . . . look at it and really see it . . . try it on . . . live it . . . exhaust it . . . and never give that minute back until there was nothing left of it. . . . "Long-time fans of Erma Bombeck will be thrilled to have this favorite column in the form of a beautiful keepsake. Readers discovering Bombeck for the first time will become fans instantly. Eat Less Cottage and More Ice Cream offers wisdom to inspire all of us.
Author: Zach Golden
Publisher: Running Press Adult
ISBN: 0762441771
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 102
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Book Description
Don’t know what to make for dinner? Is every evening an occasion for duress and deliberation? No more! What the F*@# Should I Make For Dinner? gets everyone off their a**es and in the kitchen. Derived from the incredibly popular website, whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com, the book functions like a "Choose your own adventure” cookbook, with options on each page for another f*@#ing idea for dinner. With 50 recipes to choose from, guided by affrontingly creative navigational prompts, both meat-eaters and vegetarians can get cooking and leave their indecisive selves behind.
Author: Mo Isom
Publisher: Baker Books
ISBN: 1493404938
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 171
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Book Description
A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Inspiring Story of How Brokenness Leads to Bold Faith Jesus promises peace and trouble for his followers. But most of us accept the peace and are confused and angry when adversity comes our way. All-American soccer star Mo Isom knows the struggle firsthand. While her life seemed like a success, she was battling an eating disorder, the suicide of her father, and a horrific car accident. It wasn't until God wrecked her life that she discovered the glory of renewal through Jesus Christ and that wreckage can be sacred rather than scarring. Readers take the journey from broken to bold with her and learn to surrender their lives to the King who was wrecked on their behalf. Endorsements "Mo reminds us that brokenness is actually the very place God meets us the most, and the place where we can find Jesus like never before."--Jefferson Bethke, New York Times bestselling author of Jesus > Religion "Every person who picks up this book will be challenged, entertained, and more connected with God by reading it."--Annie Downs, author of Let's All Be Brave
Author: William Shakespeare
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 1408142880
Category : Drama
Languages : en
Pages : 636
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Book Description
The core of the ground-breaking, three text edition, this self-contained, free-standing volume gives readers the Second Quarto text (1604-5) and includes in its Introduction, notes and Appendices all the reader might expect to find in any standard Arden edition. As well as a full, illustrated Introduction to the play's historical, cultural and performance contexts and a thorough survey of critical approaches to the play, an appendix contains the additional passages found only in the 1623 text."The new Arden Hamlet is a pathbreaking edition, one that promises to change irrevocably our understanding of Shakespeare's greatest play."- Professor James Shapiro, author of 1599: A Year in the Life of William Shakespeare'Hamlet's latest editors have undertaken a heroic task with great skill and thoroughnesss.' - Stanley Wells, The Observer"(The) new Arden Hamlet is quite simply the most comprehensive edition of the play currently available, a status I suspect it will enjoy for many years to come" - The British Theatre Guide"Stunning! There is absolutely no doubt about this being the text to buy if you are studying the play at A Level. And the same stands for those students who will be studying the play at university. This critical edition gives the reader the Second Quarto Text (1604-1605), annotated with intelligence and care, a wealth of historical and cultural references and a survey of different critical approaches to the play."- The Use of English, The English Association
