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Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0804149801
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 871
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Book Description
Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.
Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Bantam
ISBN: 0804149801
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 871
Get Book
Book Description
Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show has become a Thursday night ritual. Now, even though the show has ended, Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. Ted L. Nancy's first book, Letters from a Nut, with an introduction by Jerry Seinfeld, now has more than 225,000 copies in print. In More Letters From a Nut, master-prankster Nancy shares even more sidesplittingly funny letters he has written and the unbelievable true responses he has received.
Author: Ted Nancy
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312261559
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 244
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Book Description
Welcome to the world of Ted L. Nancy. Some have called him inspired, some have called him a goofball, and many have wondered who Ted really is. All we know is that Ted loves to write and it shows-Extra Nutty! is chock full of nut, a record of real live correspondence from America's favorite pen pal to a cross-section of this great nation. Extra Nutty! is bursting with all new letters showing Ted at his looniest. Take, for example, this: Dear Business Permits Dept.: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city...I operate the Soup & Sleep Restaurants. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Or this: Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "Mark Twain with Tourette's Syndrome.". . . Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovie tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds. Or even this: Dear Kmart: I have invented a male underpants liner...This liner fits right in your shorts and can be thrown away after 15 weeks. I have been wearing the same pair of underwear for 105 days now and although they feel a little stretchy they are perfectly clean. Ted's unique way of looking at the world-and how the world responds to Ted's schemes--is captured here in this extra nutty, hugely hilarious collection.
Author: Ted L Nancy
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1446491501
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194
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Book Description
Spoof letter writing has a long history from Lazlo Toth to Henry Root but nothing can prepare you for the uniquely surreal and endearing world of Ted L Nancy. A kind of Trigger Happy correspondence, his innocent requests, queries, complaints, demands and suggestions to hotels, airlines, multi-national corporations, local government and department stores are so absurd it is amazing they fool anyone - but often the deadpan responses are even more hilarious. Ted wants to know if he can graft his big toe onto his nose, why his wife left him while he was in a coma for another man in a coma, and if he can consummate his marriage in the administrative office of the chapel. He writes to hotels telling them he eats his mattress. He writes to casinos to ask if his band the 'Fat Beatles' can perform and if he can stay in their hotel dressed as a bladder. Utterly addictive and wet-yourself-in-a-public-place funny: Dear Business Permits Dept: I want to apply for a business permit in your fine city... I operate the SOUP & SLEEP RESTAURANTS. You can either order soup or sleep. A hostess will greet you and you would say, "I'd like to sleep." She will lead you to a table where you can catch a few winks. Dear Helena Ocean & Dog Licensing Dept: I will stage the play "MARK TWAIN WITH TOURETTE'S SYNDROME."... Let me know what arrangements I need to make to store my anchovy tank at your seaport. Thank you. I await large crowds.
Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 0307716295
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 258
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Book Description
He's back: the curse of customer service departments everywhere--Ted L. Nancy, letter writer extraordinaire whose imbecilic queries have a way of eliciting equally idiotic answers from some of the world’s biggest companies and dignitaries. From the bestselling author of Letters from a Nut comes the latest collection of seemingly serious but crazed correspondence. All New Letters from a Nut includes more than 200 letters, from bizarre to outright loony requests and compliments written by Mr. Nancy to Icelandic malls, German theme parks, shoe museums, foreign presidents, commode companies, waffle cone businesses, and the Hotel Del Fino in Greece along with their equally sincere but hilarious responses. With his previous books, Ted L. Nancy distinguished himself as America's favorite postal humorist. This latest compilation highlights his comic status through letters to an upscale Amsterdam hotel requesting a room for his 300 hamsters and him to put on his play HAMSTERDAM; to Vons Supermarkets complaining that their Diet Black Cherry soda is sending him paranormal messages; to Armour Meats seeking a 59-foot piece of bologna and a note to the City of Glendale, California, asking for help in starting his new comedy club, THE JOKESTRAP; and many more…. Throughout Ted L. Nancy demonstrates his genius for convincing people his absurd queries are dead serious, demonstrated by the responses he receives. All New Letters From a Nut is unabashedly silly, unapologetically sophomoric, and 100% funny. With a foreword by Jerry Seinfeld
Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780980059212
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Humour.
Author: Ed Broth
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1429918152
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 298
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Book Description
"Sorry, there's no way we can use this." - Plumpers Magazine "As a word of advice, it always helps for writers to be familiar with the publications they submit material to." - Fencers Quarterly Magazine Ed writes short stories. He's prolific. And desperate to get published. But he sends his stories to the wrong magazines. As for the magazines? Well, they don't mind telling him so: "Dear Ed: I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry..." "Dear Ed: Thank you for your recent submission to Steamboat Magazine; it was wonderful to hear how much our magazine has touched you..." "Dear Ed: We do not publish stories about individuals like Conugal Cal, or about underwear-no matter how often references are made to fencing." "Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for providing the editors with an opportunity to review your manuscript, 'Luau Lester'..." "Dear Mr. Broth: Thank you for the opportunity to review your article, 'My Car Ride with Daddy,' for possible publication in Mushing..." With this book, Ed Broth finally sees his work published. His "Stories of Hope & Inspiration" and his "Stories of Meaning & Sacrament" plus his passionate pitches to place his writing in our nation's premier publications-from Pest Control Magazine to Arthritis Today-are all to be found in the book you hold in your hands. Some might have advised Ed not to send his story "I Love Dogs" to I Love Cats Magazine or to stop submitting revised stories to editors who have already turned them down. But, well, that's just not the way Ed's mind works. Studded like a rich cranberry strudel with nuggets of genius -from cartoons and advertisements to actual newspaper articles from across the country - Stories From a Moron is an addictive journey into the mind of a great talent.
Author: Nancy Rose
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
ISBN: 1523510412
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 31
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Book Description
The letter Z is missing! Help little Oakley find it in this charming picture book with photos of real squirrels! Oakley the Squirrel: The Search for Z is an alphabet book like no other. In it, we meet Little Oakley as he embarks on a quest to find the letter Z. He searches through an alphabet of human objects—looks beneath the Bed, claws through the Closet, digs through Drawers, examines his Easel, and so on. By the time he gets to a basket of yarn, Oakley starts to yawn, and soon falls asleep. And Z—as in, Zzzzzz!—appears!
Author: Ted L. Nancy
Publisher: Booksurge Publishing
ISBN: 9781439247273
Category : Letters
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Now Ted writes stories instead of letters and reads them to people at their jobs. If they don't want to hear the story, he brings on an idiotic act like the ventriloquist with a puppet in a coma.
Author: Megan Gordon
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1607745011
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 184
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Book Description
A seasonal collection of enticing, comforting recipes for sweet and savory whole-grain breakfasts including granola, warm porridges, muffins, savory tarts and eggs—as well as seasonal toppings and accompaniments like homemade yogurt and almond milk, all from the writer of the popular blog A Sweet Spoonful. A beautiful guide to morning meals, Whole-Grain Mornings offers sixty-five sweet and savory recipes for wholesome whole-grain breakfasts. Whether you’re cooking for busy weekdays, slow Sundays, or celebratory brunches, this charming cookbook will inspire you to look beyond the average bowl of cereal toward healthy and delicious ways to incorporate whole grains like amaranth, farro, and barley into your morning meals. Seasonally organized recipes feature favorite one-bowl breakfast fare like Apricot Pistachio Granola and Triple-Coconut Quinoa Porridge alongside more unconventional options like Saucy Tomato Poached Eggs with Kale and Wheat Berries and Nutty Millet Breakfast Cookies. With information on timesaving alternatives as well as a guide to the most commonly used whole grains—and sprinkled with abundant food and lifestyle photography throughout—this cookbook guarantees the most important meal of the day will also become your favorite.
Author: David Foster Wallace
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316175293
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 636
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Book Description
The "breathtakingly brilliant" novel by the author of Infinite Jest (New York Times) is a deeply compelling and satisfying story, as hilarious and fearless and original as anything Wallace ever wrote. The agents at the IRS Regional Examination Center in Peoria, Illinois, appear ordinary enough to newly arrived trainee David Foster Wallace. But as he immerses himself in a routine so tedious and repetitive that new employees receive boredom-survival training, he learns of the extraordinary variety of personalities drawn to this strange calling. And he has arrived at a moment when forces within the IRS are plotting to eliminate even what little humanity and dignity the work still has. The Pale King remained unfinished at the time of David Foster Wallace's death, but it is a deeply compelling and satisfying novel, hilarious and fearless and as original as anything Wallace ever undertook. It grapples directly with ultimate questions -- questions of life's meaning and of the value of work and society -- through characters imagined with the interior force and generosity that were Wallace's unique gifts. Along the way it suggests a new idea of heroism and commands infinite respect for one of the most daring writers of our time. "The Pale King is by turns funny, shrewd, suspenseful, piercing, smart, terrifying, and rousing." --Laura Miller, Salon
