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Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1405961430
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 115
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Book Description
Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out --- After three years, Jeremy Clarkson has discovered the golden rule of farming: whatever you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify face defeat at the hands of the Council Planning department, or derision from Kaleb. Jeremy's plans for a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup are doubted by Lisa. And the stifling thickets of red tape keep only one person smiling – Cheerful Charlie, who charges by the hour. But the animals couldn’t be happier. A rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro is delighting the cows. The pigs are bringing home the bacon. And the goats are . . . most probably psychopaths. Yet on the good days it hard not to be optimistic. Where else do you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner? Maybe it’s not just Break-heart Maestro who gets a happy ending? ---- Readers are loving Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly ‘Another funny book from Jeremy. This one made me chuckle but, my only complaint it's too short. I wanted more. Hopefully Another book is being written as we speak’ ***** Reader Review ‘I love the show and I love the books. Both make me chuckle but have also given me an insight into farming and how hard farming is’ **** Reader Review ‘I’ve read the previous books and loved those as well. Witty and funny with depth and a bit of seriousness’ **** Reader Review ‘Loved it, quickest book I've ever read. Can't wait for the next Clarkson instalment’ **** Reader Review
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1405961430
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 115
Get Book Here
Book Description
Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out --- After three years, Jeremy Clarkson has discovered the golden rule of farming: whatever you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify face defeat at the hands of the Council Planning department, or derision from Kaleb. Jeremy's plans for a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup are doubted by Lisa. And the stifling thickets of red tape keep only one person smiling – Cheerful Charlie, who charges by the hour. But the animals couldn’t be happier. A rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro is delighting the cows. The pigs are bringing home the bacon. And the goats are . . . most probably psychopaths. Yet on the good days it hard not to be optimistic. Where else do you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner? Maybe it’s not just Break-heart Maestro who gets a happy ending? ---- Readers are loving Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly ‘Another funny book from Jeremy. This one made me chuckle but, my only complaint it's too short. I wanted more. Hopefully Another book is being written as we speak’ ***** Reader Review ‘I love the show and I love the books. Both make me chuckle but have also given me an insight into farming and how hard farming is’ **** Reader Review ‘I’ve read the previous books and loved those as well. Witty and funny with depth and a bit of seriousness’ **** Reader Review ‘Loved it, quickest book I've ever read. Can't wait for the next Clarkson instalment’ **** Reader Review
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405946547
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 137
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Book Description
Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out _________ Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'. And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it. From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough. Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . . _________ 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405946520
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 260
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Book Description
The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Who is that tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer? Has Jeremy turned into a horny-handed son of the soil? These and other perplexing questions may or may not be answered in the latest volume of Clarkson's utterly unbiased musings on life, the universe and everything in between (except cars - this isn't one of his four-wheel drive books). Inside you'll also discover why: · Bathing in crude oil isn't for everyone · People who go fishing hate their kids · Noise-cancelling headphones will never silence James May · The rambler who stole his marrow is in for it Full of fact-checked opinions and ideas so good they're no longer following the science but chasing it up a tree, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? is one hundred per cent guaranteed Clarkson . . . Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405939087
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 391
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Book Description
JEREMY CLARKSON'S LATEST - AND MOST OUTRAGEOUS - TAKE ON THE WORLD CLARKSON'S BACK - AND THIS TIME HE'S PUTTING HIS FOOT DOWN From his first job as a travelling sales rep selling Paddington Bears to his latest wheeze as a gentleman farmer, Jeremy Clarkson's love of cars has just about kept him out of trouble. But in a persistently infuriating world, sometimes you have to race full-throttle at the speed-bumps. Because there's still plenty to get cross about, including: · Why nothing good ever came out of a meeting · Muesli's unmentionable side effects · Navigating London when every single road is being dug up at once · People who read online reviews of dishwashers · ****ing driverless cars Buckle up for a bumpy ride - you're holding the only book in history to require seatbelts . . . Praise for Jeremy Clarkson: Brilliant . . . Laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . Will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Michael Joseph
ISBN: 9780718198008
Category : Top Gear (Television program)
Languages : en
Pages : 600
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Book Description
We now know all about the world according to Clarkson. .In a series of bestselling books, Jeremy has revealed it to be a puzzling, frustrating place where all too often the lunatics seem to be running the asylum. But in The Top Gear Years, we get something rather different.
Author: HarperCollins
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
ISBN: 0008257841
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 392
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Book Description
The world is a big place full of interesting things. And The Grand Tour has seen some of them. That’s why few people are better placed to lead you around this vast planet of ours than Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. As long as you don’t mind getting hot and lost. Welcome, everyone, to The Grand Tour Guide to The World.
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405939060
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 208
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Book Description
Clarkson is back! Pre order his brand new book now. ___________ In November 2016 we woke up to the news that the forthright presenter of a popular television programme had become the most powerful man on the planet. His name, sadly, was not Jeremy Clarkson, but we might not have been any more surprised if it had been. Because the world seems to have taken a decidedly odd turn since Jeremy last reflected on the state of things between the covers of a book. But who better than JC to help us navigate our way through the mess? And while he's being trying to make sense of it all he's discovered one or two things along the way, including - The disabling effects of being vegan - How Blackpool might be improved by drilling a hole through it - The problem with meditation - A perfect location for rebuilding Palmyra - Why Tom Cruise can worship lizards if he wants to It's all been a bit unsettling. But don't worry. If You'd Just Let Me Finish is Clarkson at his best. He may be as bemused, exasperated, amused and surprised as the rest of us, but in a world gone crazy, thank God someone has still got his head screwed on ... Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant...laugh-out-loud' - Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny...will have you in stiches' - Time Out 'Very funny...I cracked up laughing on the tube' - Evening Standard
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: National Geographic Books
ISBN: 0718180224
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
No one writes about cars like Jeremy Clarkson. While most correspondents are too busy diving straight into BHP, MPG and MPH, Jeremy appreciates that there are more important things to life. Don't worry, we'll get to the cars. Eventually. But first we should consider: • The case for invading France • The overwhelming appeal of a nice sit-down • The inconvenience of gin and tonic • Why clothes are no better than ice cream • Spot-welding with the Duchess of Kent • And why Denmark is the best place in the world Armed only with conviction, curiosity, enthusiasm and a pair of stout trousers, Jeremy hurtles around the world - along motorway, autoroute, freeway and autobahn - in search of answers to life's puzzles and ponderings without forethought or fear for his own safety. What, you have to ask, could possibly go wrong . . .
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405924160
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 352
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Book Description
As I Was Saying... is the seventh book in Jeremy Clarkson's best-selling The World According to Clarkson series. *** Crikey, the world according to Clarkson's been a funny old place of late . . . For a while, Jeremy could be found in his normal position as the tallest man on British television but, more recently, he appears to have been usurped by a pretend elephant. But on paper the real Jeremy remains at the helm. That's as it should be. For nearly thirty years he has been fearlessly leading the charge as one the best comic writers in the country. And in 2015, he shows no sign of slowing down. So, whether it's pondering If Jesus might have been better off being born in New Zealand Why reflexive pronoun abuse is the worst thing in the world How Pam Ayres's head trumps Gordon Gecko's underpants Or what a television presenter with time on his hands gets up to Jeremy is still trying to make sense of all the big stuff. Circumstances change. Nothing's forever. But As I Was Saying provides glorious proof that Jeremy remains as funny, puzzled, excitable, outspoken, insightful and thought-provoking as ever. As if you ever doubted it . . . *** Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant... laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny... will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard
Author: Jeremy Clarkson
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1405972262
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 121
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Book Description
It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost? ---- Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm. So, that went well . . . The spring barley crop failed. Just like the oil seed rape. And the durum wheat. Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy. Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches. But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t. On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn. Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger . . .’ *Jeremy
