Christmas Madness, Mayhem, and Mall Santas

Christmas Madness, Mayhem, and Mall Santas PDF Author: Bonnie Daly
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781492934752
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 90

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Book Description
Leaving no stone unturned—or present unwrapped—Christmas Madness, Mayhem, & Mall Santas takes you on a hilarious journey through the misadventures, mishaps, and misguided sentiments that we all deal with during the Christmas season. Be prepared to laugh in the face of holiday stress, as you delve into such topics as parent-proof packaging, cats vs. Christmas trees, bows that don't stick, lights that won't light, and husbands that won't help, as well as a multitude of other misaligned, multifaceted merriment.

Christmas Madness, Mayhem, and Mall Santas

Christmas Madness, Mayhem, and Mall Santas PDF Author: Bonnie Daly
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781492934752
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 90

Get Book

Book Description
Leaving no stone unturned—or present unwrapped—Christmas Madness, Mayhem, & Mall Santas takes you on a hilarious journey through the misadventures, mishaps, and misguided sentiments that we all deal with during the Christmas season. Be prepared to laugh in the face of holiday stress, as you delve into such topics as parent-proof packaging, cats vs. Christmas trees, bows that don't stick, lights that won't light, and husbands that won't help, as well as a multitude of other misaligned, multifaceted merriment.

The Totally Disturbing Christmas Joke Book

The Totally Disturbing Christmas Joke Book PDF Author: Bonnie Daly
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781502780850
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 28

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Book Description
The Totally Disturbing Christmas Joke Book: 100 Delightfully Demented Jokes Designed to Jingle Your Sleigh Bells--with jokes such as: "Why does Santa go down the Chimney? Because slithering up the sewer pipe makes his suit smell," and "Why do you hang ornaments on a Christmas tree? Because hanging them on your paraplegic uncle is just wrong"--is a compilation of edgy, twisted, festive fun, sure to liven up your holiday season.

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed

The Onion Presents: Christmas Exposed PDF Author: The Onion Staff
Publisher: Quirk Books
ISBN: 1594745420
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 148

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Book Description
Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without impulse-priced holiday gift books—and now The Onion has unleashed its award-winning team of investigative journalists upon the genre. Christmas Exposed features more than one hundred shocking tales of Secret Santas, shopping mall mayhem, dysfunctional family dinners, and much, much more.

When Elves Attack

When Elves Attack PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062092855
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 112

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Book Description
“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.

The Totally Lame Joke Book

The Totally Lame Joke Book PDF Author: Bonnie Daly
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781495293924
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 110

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Book Description
Bursting with jokes that will make you laugh till you cry--or perhaps cry till you laugh--The Totally Lame Joke Book covers a wide range of topics, including everything from rednecks to farm animals, aliens to frogs, and old ladies to proctologists. It's a truly hilarious, fresh line up of original riddles that anyone of any age will enjoy.

Feliz Naughty Dog

Feliz Naughty Dog PDF Author: Roxanne St. Claire
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781952196157
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
Pru Kilcannon has one goal when she wakes on Christmas Eve - to perform the most "Random Acts of Christmas Kindness" so she can spread cheer and ensure her high school wins the county-wide "RACK IT UP" contest. But when her friends decide to team up with their boyfriends, the ever-helpful Dogmothers enlist the new kid in school as Pru's partner for the contest. And that means good-girl Pru has to spend the entire day with the broody, moody, and crazy cute bad boy Lucas Darling, and his chaos-causing greyhound, Tor.As if that wasn't enough holiday havoc, Pru and Lucas have to accompany the grannies on a secret mission to check out a man Yiayia has met on an online dating service. Gramma Finnie is convinced Aldo Fiore is a mobster, Yiayia thinks he's her dream man, and Pru just wants to be sure her great-grandmothers don't get themselves arrested - or worse. There's no telling what could happen when the Dogmothers spy on an eighty-year-old who might be playing a rather flirtatious Santa at the mall?or might be hiding from the Feds.But no one expected the real trouble to come from Tor, the former racing dog who causes mayhem and mall madness. As Pru and Lucas attempt to control Tor, supervise the Santa Stalking, and knock out a few random acts of kindness?they also give in to a delicious little Christmas crush that just might lead to some magic under the mistletoe this year!

The Book of (Holiday) Awesome

The Book of (Holiday) Awesome PDF Author: Neil Pasricha
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101565551
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 192

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Book Description
“Neil Pasricha is a gift. This book would make even the grinchiest Grinch love the holidays again.”—A. J. Jacobs There’s nothing like the holidays. They bring out the best, and sometimes the worst, in everyone. Luckily, Neil Pasricha is here to remind us that not only are the holidays great, but there’s actually even more to celebrate than we realize. From Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa, to other holidays throughout the year, such as Mother’s Day and Thanksgiving, The Book of (Holiday) Awesome will show you why holidays are...AWESOME. • Making the first footprint in fresh snow • When the in-laws leave • Waking up and realizing it’s Christmas • Just barely wrapping a gift with that tiny scrap of leftover wrapping paper • When they finally stop playing Christmas songs on the radio • Knowing “Kwanzaa” is worth more Scrabble points than “Hanukkah” or “Christmas”

Slay Bells

Slay Bells PDF Author: Jo Gibson
Publisher: Pinnacle Books
ISBN: 9780786012497
Category : Horror tales
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Diana and her friends are shopping for Christmas gifts at the newly opened Crossroads Mall when a sudden snowstorm traps them inside. They're having so much fun, they don't mind. That is, until Diana's friends are killed off--one by one. Hiding in the mall is a twisted killer with a Christmas list of his own.

The Marvel Holiday Special

The Marvel Holiday Special PDF Author:
Publisher: Marvel Comics Group
ISBN: 9780785116257
Category : Comic books, strips, etc
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Three new Marvel holiday stories, including a riff on A Christmas Carol starring Spider-Man, plus selections from past holiday issues of Marvel Comics.

Born a Crime

Born a Crime PDF Author: Trevor Noah
Publisher: One World
ISBN: 0399588183
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 279

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Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • More than one million copies sold! A “brilliant” (Lupita Nyong’o, Time), “poignant” (Entertainment Weekly), “soul-nourishing” (USA Today) memoir about coming of age during the twilight of apartheid “Noah’s childhood stories are told with all the hilarity and intellect that characterizes his comedy, while illuminating a dark and brutal period in South Africa’s history that must never be forgotten.”—Esquire Winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor and an NAACP Image Award • Named one of the best books of the year by The New York Time, USA Today, San Francisco Chronicle, NPR, Esquire, Newsday, and Booklist Trevor Noah’s unlikely path from apartheid South Africa to the desk of The Daily Show began with a criminal act: his birth. Trevor was born to a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents’ indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the earliest years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, steal him away. Finally liberated by the end of South Africa’s tyrannical white rule, Trevor and his mother set forth on a grand adventure, living openly and freely and embracing the opportunities won by a centuries-long struggle. Born a Crime is the story of a mischievous young boy who grows into a restless young man as he struggles to find himself in a world where he was never supposed to exist. It is also the story of that young man’s relationship with his fearless, rebellious, and fervently religious mother—his teammate, a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence, and abuse that would ultimately threaten her own life. The stories collected here are by turns hilarious, dramatic, and deeply affecting. Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Trevor illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a moving and searingly funny portrait of a boy making his way through a damaged world in a dangerous time, armed only with a keen sense of humor and a mother’s unconventional, unconditional love.