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Apprehend Me No Flowers

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1939197864
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 250

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Book Description
National bestselling cozy mystery author Diane Vallere brings you a riveting installment of amateur sleuthing and decorating in the delightful and humorous Madison Night mystery series. Two abandoned bodies lead to a polarized community. Can an amateur sleuth bridge the divide and help catch a killer? After a lawsuit puts interior decorator Madison Night’s business on indefinite hold, she needs a distraction. A walk in the park with police captain Tex Allen is anything but: they discover two corpses on the property. The bodies are unidentifiable, and inconvenient weather conditions have rendered the crime scene obsolete. With no leads, the case seems unsolvable. With time on her hands, discovers a clue that ties the victims to a local florist. A surprise court date catches her off guard, and her continuing involvement in the case may cost her more than she can afford to lose. Can Madison dig up the evidence needed to catch a killer before the bloom fades on her business? APPREHEND ME NO FLOWERS is the seventh thrilling cozy mystery in the humorous Mad for Mod series. If you like vintage fashion, edgy cozies, and police investigations, then you’ll love Madison Night’s latest adventure. Buy APPREHEND ME NO FLOWERS for a fun, petal-pushing mystery today! Keywords: humorous mysteries, cozy mysteries, amateur sleuths, women sleuths, mystery with humor, fashionable fiction, fashionable mysteries, friendship fiction, traditional mysteries, Dallas, Texas, vintage, Doris Day, stylish sleuths, funny mysteries, mysteries set in Texas, funny cozy mysteries, humorous cozy mysteries, traditional mystery, designer mystery, cozy hobby mystery, animal mystery, dog, determined sleuth, female sleuth, women sleuth, fearless sleuth, crime, crime fiction, murder mystery, amateur detective, sleuthing in style, stylish sleuthing, suspense, thriller, over-50 Madison Night Mad for Mod Mysteries (cozy/traditional mysteries winking at Doris Day movies) Midnight Ice (Prequel) Pillow Stalk That Touch of Ink With Vics you get Eggroll The Decorator Who Knew Too Much The Pajama Frame Lover Come Hack Apprehend Me No Flowers Teacher's Threat The Kill of it All Love Me or Grieve Me (Oct 2022) What people are saying about the Madison Night Mysteries: "Make room for Vallere's tremendously fun homage. Imbuing her story with plenty of mid-century modern decorating and fashion tips, not to mention a steady patter of Doris Day trivia, Vallere debuts a well-paced cozy series. Her disarmingly honest lead and two hunky sidekicks will appeal to all fashionistas and antiques types and have romance crossover appeal." - Library Journal "If you are looking for an unconventional mystery with a snarky, no-nonsense main character, this is it. Madison is a strong leading lady who lands in lots of quirky situations. Instead of clashing, humor and danger meld perfectly, and there's a cliffhanger that will make your jaw drop. You'll look forward to the second Madison Night mystery." - RT Book Reviews "A charming modern tribute to Doris Day movies and the retro era of the 50s, including murders, escalating danger, romance... and a puppy!" - Linda O. Johnston, Author of the Pet Rescue Mysteries "It was fast and furious, had a lot of info, characters, suspects, and even a few tangled romances. I love mysteries where I can't figure out who the real killer is until the end, and this was one of those. The novel was well-written, moved at a smooth pace, and Madison's character was a riot." - ChickLit Plus "This was a delightful read for me. I particularly enjoy and like Doris Day and was so surprised that Pillow Talk was mentioned in the book along with Doris Day. It's nice having a cute, cozy mystery to read, I look forward to more in the series!" -Bookreporter.com "If you love the Technicolor movies of Doris Day and Rock Hudson and watch Mad Men for fashion tips, author Diane Vallere has written a mystery that will appeal to the mid-century modern heart." - ReaderToReader.com "An intricately plotted and well-written book, I really enjoyed the story. I can't imagine decorating a house in the style from Doris Day's movies but it makes fine reading." - Fresh Fiction

Apprehend Me No Flowers

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1939197864
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 250

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Love Me Or Grieve Me: A Madison Night Cozy Mystery

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1954579403
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 255

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Book Description
Reports of Madison Night’s death have been greatly exaggerated… When a junior copy editor at the local newspaper mistakenly uses interior decorator Madison Night’s life story in the obituary of a recently deceased woman with a similar name, Madison’s life turns upside down. Addison Nigh, a once in-demand jazz vocalist, had fallen into obscurity, and her death notice surprises only those who thought she died decades ago. Canceled lines of credit and a swarm of condolences to Madison’s loved ones are just the tip of the iceberg, but when the decorator discovers evidence that the real dead woman played a part in an unsolved murder, their identity mix-up gives Madison backstage access to a life of secrets. As parallels between the singer’s life and her own become impossible to ignore, Madison questions the true price of fame. But Madison isn’t the only one to discover the singer’s buried secrets, and if she’s not careful, the next obituary might be her own. Can Madison protect a lyrical past with notes similar to her own, or will exposing the truth be her swan song? The Madison Night Mysteries feature a main character who has modeled her life and business after the actress. Each book winks at a different Doris Day movie while delivering a contemporary mystery with an engaging supporting cast. For fans of Doris Day, mid-century modern decorating, Dallas, Texas, over-50 protagonists, amateur sleuths, women sleuths, cozy mystery, traditional mystery, vintage style.

Silk Stalkings: A Material Witness Fabric Shop Cozy Mystery

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1954579810
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 283

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Book Description
Enjoy this crafty small-town cozy mystery by national bestselling author Diane Vallere… Fabric shop owner Polyester Monroe can get tangled up in textiles, but it's murder that really throws her for a loop in the third Material Witness mystery... The time has come for the annual Miss Tangorli beauty pageant, and Polyester Monroe has agreed to use her fabric store’s inventory of shimmery silks to create gowns fit for a crown. But when the man who revived the city’s citrus trade with his imported Tangorli tree is found dead days before the pageant contestants are announced, something sour takes over the town. To make matters worse, Poly’s closest friend is caught up in the crime, having been seen in the company of the case’s prime suspect. Juicy secrets come to light, creating tension in the small California town. Now while Poly juggles seamstresses and a gaggle of pageant contestants, the killer seems intent to put the squeeze someone she loves. Silk Stalkings is the third charming cozy mystery in this series, although all books in the Material Witness series can be read as a standalone. For readers of Joanna Campbell Slan, Steve Higgs, and Dianne Harman, this is a fair-play cozy mystery whodunit with strong family ties, a sweet romance, and a fun cast of recurring characters. If you like small-town settings, killer textiles, and crafty killers, then you'll love Diane Vallere's delightful, fabric-themed series. “Diane Vallere has stitched up an engaging new series.”—Sofie Kelly, New York Times bestselling author of the Magical Cats Mysteries “With delightfully engaging characters and riveting mystery, it is a series I am looking to see more of!”—Open Book Society

Crushed Velvet

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1954579799
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 281

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Book Description
Enjoy this crafty small-town cozy mystery by national bestselling author Diane Vallere… Fabric shop owner Polyester Monroe is back in business--this time getting wrapped up in a diabolical but crafty case of murder. With the reopening of her fabric shop rapidly approaching, Polyester Monroe is stocking up on lush fabrics, colorful notions, and best of all, a proprietary weave of velvet. But upon delivery, it’s not quite the blend she expected, being ninety-percent silk — and ten-percent corpse. Crushed under a dozen bolts of fabric is local business owner Phil Girard. His wife, Genevieve, local tea shop owner and close friend of Poly, is the prime suspect. Granted, Phil may not have been the perfect husband, but surely Genevieve had no reason to kill him! There’s just the small matter of Genevieve’s own incriminating confession: I’m afraid I killed my husband. Now, as the grand opening looms, Poly is torn between a friendship pulling apart at the seams—and finding a smooth killer with a velvet touch… Crushed Velvet is the second charming cozy mystery in this series, although all books in the Material Witness series can be read as a standalone. For readers of Leena Clover, Addison Moore, and Kathi Daley, this is a fair-play cozy mystery whodunit with strong family ties, a sweet romance, and a fun cast of recurring characters. If you like small-town settings, killer textiles, and crafty killers, then you'll love Diane Vallere's delightful, fabric-themed series. "Vallere stitches an intrepid heroine together [with] a nicely layered plot that fits well with the fabric imagery. The secret of the velvet makes for a clever surprise. Fans of Jenn McKinlay’s Hat Shop novels may also enjoy this small-town cozy."--Booklist "This entertaining series that began with Suede to Rest continues with yet another fantastic read. In fact, this one may be even better." --Suspense Magazine

Suede to Rest

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1954579772
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 278

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Book Description
Enjoy this crafty, cozy small-town series starter by national bestselling author Diane Vallere… Unraveling family secrets can be murder... When Polyester Monroe was young, she loved playing in her family's textile store. But after a fatal tragedy, Land of A Thousand Fabrics was boarded up and Poly never expected to see the inside again. These days her time is spent designing prom dresses from cheap fabrics and covering the flaws with a glue gun. When her great uncle passes away and leaves her the fabric store, she sees it as a sign to change her life. But when a man connected to her family’s tragedy is found dead in the parking lot behind the store the day after she moves in, her illusions of reopening the glamorous fabric store are shredded. Poly pulls at threads to unravel the truth, but can she keep herself out of the fray? Suede to Rest is the first charming cozy mystery in this series, although all books in the Material Witness series can be read as a standalone. For readers of Jenn McKinlay, Tonya Kappes, London Lovett, and Marty Wingate, this is a fair-play cozy mystery whodunit with strong family ties, a sweet romance, and a fun cast of recurring characters. If you like small-town settings, killer textiles, and crafty killers, then you'll love Diane Vallere's delightful, fabric-themed series. “There’s a new material girl in town…[A] resourceful and gutsy sleuth.”—Krista Davis, New York Times bestselling author of the Domestic Diva Mysteries “Vallere weaves a tapestry of finely knit characters, luxurious fabrics, and…murder.”—Janet Bolin, national bestselling author of the Threadville Mysteries

Some Like It Haute

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 193919797X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 250

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Book Description
Enjoy this humorous cozy mystery with a fashionable amateur sleuth and rom-com elements by national bestselling author Diane Vallere. If you can't stand the heat, get off the runway. Samantha Kidd’s love life is on ice. After breaking up with shoe designer Nick Taylor, she’s lost, lonely—and stuck with a commitment she regrets: helping Nick’s glamorous best friend mount her first fashion show. Pride keeps Samantha from quitting even though the designer’s appreciation is lukewarm at best. When a couture garment goes up in flames during the event, Samantha suspects sabotage. After risking death investigating on her own, Samantha recruits a hot photographer to help…and to make Nick jealous. As the heat turns up, Samantha’s curiosity leads her into another inferno—and this time she either faces the fire or gets burned. Buy Some Like it Haute and warm up to fashion drama today! Some Like It Haute is the fourth humorous whodunit in the Killer Fashion mystery series, although each can be read as a standalone mystery. For fans of Jess Lourey, Deborah Brown, and Chelsea Field. If you like witty protagonists, clever dialogue, and fair-play whodunits, you’ll love Diane Vallere’s humorous mystery. Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

Scandal on a Moon Trek: An Outer Space Mystery Adventure

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 193919749X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 211

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Book Description
Veronica Mars meets Star Trek! (Or is it Judy Jetson meets Stephanie Plum?) National bestselling author Diane Vallere beams up a humorous cozy mystery and science fiction mashup for outer space’s feistiest amateur sleuth as Sylvia Stryker heads on an adventurous trek to Venus... When Sylvia Stryker boards her space cruise as a lowly uniform lieutenant, it’s with an eye toward the future. After space pirates destroyed the life she knew, she’s counting on the trek to Venus to give her a fresh start. Even her side gig working for security stud Neptune feels full of possibilities. But when she finds a body outside her ward after the departure point, her fresh start is as sullied as a worn uniform. The victim is the winner of a contest designed to hype the voyage, and if other VIPs on board get wind of the crime, the certain scandal will jettison Sylvia’s dreams. Soon the amorous pull of Venus causes romantic chaos on board, threatening to compromise Sylvia’s investigation—especially after she learns the murder victim’s secret relationship to her boss. Even worse, she discovers what’s waiting for the passengers when they reach the Love Planet and it’s not a Valentine. A dangerous threat lurks aboard the space cruise, and if Sylvia can’t expose it, she’ll be laundering uniforms in the intergalactic afterlife. Scandal on a Moon Trek is the second book in the Outer Space Mystery series. If you like quirky characters, science fiction settings, and pure space fun, or read favorites like Joanne Fluke or Dakota Cassidy, you’ll love Diane Vallere’s entertaining interstellar series. For fans of Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, UFO, The Orville, Galaxy Quest, Lost in Space, and The Jetsons. Previously published as I'M YOUR VENUS. “Scandal on a Moon Trek was a fun and quirky cozy mystery set in space that I absolutely adored. I can't wait for book three! I highly recommend!” – Reader “Scandal on a Moon Trek captures the reader's attention from the very beginning and never lets go.” – Reader CHAPTER ONE EXCERPT: Moon Unit 6 was twice the size of the last spaceship the company had in rotation, and, thanks to the wonders of technology, half the weight. At least that’s what the promotional catalog claimed. The ship was docked by the boarding station where families of sweepstakes finalists were gathered. The sweepstakes was a publicity stunt intended to distract the tourist-traveling public from what had happened the last time a Moon Unit promised “the adventure of a lifetime.” A whole lot had changed for me on that trip, not the least of which was the destruction of my home planet, Plunia. So, while I understood why a lot of the crew who I’d met on my first Moon Unit mission chose to seek employment elsewhere, I had my own motivation for returning to the company. In short, I had nowhere else to go. “Stryker,” said a gruff voice behind me. I turned to face a wall of muscle dressed in a fitted black T-shirt and a pair of cargo pants. Only one division of the Moon Unit crew wasn’t required to wear regulation uniforms on the day of departure: security. But it didn’t take the memorization of the uniform regulations to recognize the man approaching me. He was Neptune, the head of the security division. “I wasn’t sure you’d be here,” he said. “C’mon, you know you already checked the crew manifests to see if they hired me back. Don’t lie on my account.” Neptune raised one eyebrow. It was his signature facial expression. During some of the worst circumstances I’d experienced in my life, the only reaction I’d gotten out of him was a raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to bust me this time. I’m an official crew member. See?” I held up the plastic ID that hung from a lanyard around my neck. Sylvia Stryker, Uniform Lieutenant, 2nd class, Moon Unit 6. Neptune took my ID card between his fingers and read it. “You should have applied to work security. You’re overqualified for this assignment.” He dropped the plastic and it bounced against my chest. “The employee manual says security positions are only for graduates of the space academy.” “You were supposed to get your degree after Moon Unit 5 docked.” “I got distracted.” Neptune’s heavy, eyebrows pulled together over his intensely dark eyes, and he stared at me in a way that probably cracked a lot of criminals. It had a different effect on me. I mean, sure, my pulse picked up and I became aware of my breathing, but not because he made me feel guilty. Something about Neptune challenged me in a way I hadn’t been challenged before, and in the months after our last moon trek, I’d found my thoughts returning to the mystery behind the head of security. Moon Unit 6 had been designed with not one but two lounges from which passengers could literally stare off into space. Today, the crew had been encouraged to board early and assemble on Observation Deck One to watch the sweepstakes festivities. OB One was connected to the ship by a diagonal beam, allowing us to look down on the hopeful passengers from an overhead perspective. Because my Plunian respiratory system required air with a higher oxygen content than humans needed, I wore an air filtration helmet that regulated my intake until the ship passed the breakaway point into zero gravity. At that point, the ship maintained a proprietary blend of nitrogen and oxygen that accommodated the widest range of species. At least on this journey, I wouldn’t have to hide my genetic shortcomings. It was hard enough trying to blend in with purple skin. “Besides,” I said, “You’re the head of security. If you wanted me to work on your team, you could have contacted me to let me know.” Neptune gestured at the crowds awaiting the announcement. “Moon Unit Corporation kept me busy with this contest. There’s a personnel director on the staff. It was up to him to fill vacancies on the crew, not me.” “I met him the day I picked up my uniforms. TJ Woodward, right? Nice guy. A little too clean cut for my tastes, but he didn’t make a big deal about my background, so I figured he was okay.” “Your name was on the pre-approved list. Staff of Moon Unit 5 were automatic hires if you applied. After what we went through, it was the easiest way for the company to avoid a lawsuit.” “Who threatened to sue?” “The Martians.” Figured. From my very first run-in with the little green men, I hadn’t been a particularly big fan. “So, Stryker. Anything I need to know before we depart for Venus?” Neptune asked. “Secrets you plan to keep that will make my job more difficult?” “No secrets. My name is on the crew manifests. Legitimately this time. And like I told you, the biggest problem I plan to deal with is keeping the crew in clean uniforms. Maybe somebody will spill something and challenge me with a stain. Other than that, I’m just a girl looking for a free trip to Venus.” In terms of tourist destinations, Venus was an interesting choice. It was rumored that the planet’s atmosphere triggered amorous feelings in visitors and made it desirable for honeymoons, romantic getaways, and illicit affairs. And since Venus was already zoned for residential colonies and tourist activities, the atmosphere was clear enough for me to breathe. “No plans to do anything that will require me to lock you up?” “Nope. I’m going to be the best uniform lieutenant the new Moon Unit owners have ever seen. I passed the physical with flying colors, and I fit everything I need into one bag to minimize the weight print of the ship. If Yeoman D’Nar gives me even a hint of attitude, I’m going to wave my hiring papers in her face.” “Yeoman D’Nar isn’t on this trek. She left the company. You didn’t run your own background checks?” “No,” I said. “I thought I’d learn about my coworkers the regular way.” Our conversation was cut short when a spokesperson for Moon Unit Corporation took to the stage below the observation deck. Families crowded closer to viewing and listening stations to hear if their loved one was the winner of the I’m Your Venus Promotional Contest. “How do the announcers know the name they draw is cleared for the trip?” I asked, partially to myself. “Part of the application process. Each of the finalists signed waivers that said their likeness could be used in the media campaign surrounding the trip.” “What about background checks and physicals? Stuff like that? Moon Unit Corp has been promoting this contest for the past two months. We’re scheduled for departure today. How do they know nothing happened in that time to disqualify a person from being eligible?” “You’re overly suspicious,” Neptune said. “You’re security section. Aren’t you?” His arms were crossed over his chest, and his feet were shoulder-width apart. It was the Neptune stance. The effect was intentional intimidation and judging from the way non-crew members gave him a wide berth as they passed, it was effective. Just not on me. I’d developed a mental immunity to his tactics somewhere around the point when he risked his position to protect me. I had so many questions about his actions, but I hadn’t asked them, and now, after what I’d learned about him during our break, I didn’t know if those questions were better left ignored. And while my brain had questions about Neptune’s motivations, my vital signs had an agenda of their own. Whenever I thought about him for any length of time, my purple coloring intensified. Right now, standing next to him for the first time since we’d parted after the last trip, I was thankful for the long sleeves of my uniform. “There’s a list of finalists in the main computer,” Neptune said. “I’ve been monitoring each of them for the past thirty days. Daily routine, job, health, colleagues, financial status. The system pings when one of them so much as puts on an unusually colored pair of socks. Moon Unit Corp wasn’t going to take any chances on who they let on board this ship.” “But it’s supposed to be random, right? There’s a giant fiberglass ball on the stage next to the spokesperson. She’s going to spin the ball and then pull a name and announce it in front of all these people. Random.” He leaned closer. My bubble helmet kept me from detecting his scent or feeling his breath on my ear, but I flushed anyway. I pulled my sleeves down over my hands to hide the glow. “That’s what they want you to think,” he said. He pulled away and raised his eyebrow again. It made sense that the company would have some sort of control over their passengers, but I hadn’t expected them to fool the general public of our galaxy with something of this magnitude. Once upon a time people may have signed up for a sweepstakes and not thought about the trade-off of their personal information, but after Earth became so overpopulated that earthlings had moved onto other planets, and galaxies that had gone largely undiscovered became fair game for developers, everything changed. Now everybody was looking to make a buck. For some, all it took was a decent bribe and a knowledge of back channels to find out what they wanted to know. That, I knew firsthand. My skills with computers and electronics had been my main source of income since the moon trek three months ago. Despite my claims of being on the up and up for the trip to Venus, I’d engaged in more than one illegal act since the last time he’d seen me. A girl’s gotta make a living. Even a Plunian. The general noise level from the dock rose, and chutes released pressurized steam into the sky around the platform. Giant light filters had been angled around the stage, and the steam took on shades of bright yellow, citrine, and chartreuse. For about seventeen seconds, everybody looked Martian. And then, a name was projected onto the wall behind the stage: Xina Astryd. A tall woman with shimmery skin that appeared to glow from within strolled toward the stage. Her luminous hair caught the tones of the filters and lit up like filaments. Her deliberate pace didn’t fit the excitement of the event or the surroundings, and others in the crowd bent their heads together and whispered as she passed them. “Is she the winner?” I asked. “She doesn’t look particularly happy.” “Xina Astryd. Venusian. Notoriously reserved. Left Venus to pursue a career in the entertainment industry on Colony 7.” “I thought Colony 7 was mostly Gremlons.” “Mostly, but not exclusively.” I wanted Neptune to keep talking, but his focus had shifted from our casual conversation to the platform below. Xina had a regal quality about her, not exactly hurt by the fact that she was seven feet tall—a full head and shoulders above everyone else. Venusians averaged taller height than most aliens in the galaxy, especially the women. Their planet was a decadent vacation spot enjoyed by those with money to burn, and since my home planet had been populated with ice miners and potato farmers, I’d never had the wherewithal to go. Even before space pirates had destroyed it, we’d mostly stayed where we were. A light on the interior of the observation deck blinked yellow. It was a reminder to general crew to head to our positions for takeoff. I pointed to the lights. “Time to get to our stations. Are you coming?” If Neptune answered, I didn’t hear him. All noise in the observation deck was drowned out by an explosion on the docking deck below. “As a fan of both cozy mysteries and Doctor Who, they are right up my alley.” – Reader “This story had a lot of exciting twists that I didn't see coming. The surprises were plentiful. I was glued to the book, and the edge of my seat.” – Reader “Really appreciate this series as a Star Trek fangirl too. Can’t wait to read the next book!”– Reader Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

Hijacked on a Moon Trek: An Outer Space Mystery Adventure

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1939197511
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 206

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Book Description
Enjoy this humorous outer space mystery adventure with uniform lieutenant Sylvia Stryker and a supporting cast of quirky aliens by national bestselling author Diane Vallere… Sylvia Stryker has found her footing in the Moon Unit Corporation--but it’ll take more than fancy dance moves for this amateur sleuth to stay alive on this hilarious rescue mission in space from national bestselling author Diane Vallere. Space sleuth Sylvia Stryker wants more from her day job aboard a Moon Unit than to manage crew uniforms. In her time between moon treks, she turns to hunky hero Neptune for lessons in security training. But when a hijacked space pod lands by their training site and the body of an intergalactic courier is discovered inside, Sylvia’s newly-acquired skills are put to the test. The courier was a friend who shared her interest in back-channel business, and his death seems like a message—or worse, a warning. Determined to seek justice, Sylvia and Neptune assemble a team. But there’s more to this trek through the stars than expected, including fifty rambunctious aliens accidentally beamed aboard the ship, some very nasty space pirates, and one suspicious member of the staff who thought the recruitment message was a call of duty. Now Sylvia’s on a quest to catch a killer, but if she fails, she could wipe out an entire alien race in the process. Hijacked on a Moon Trek is the hilarious third novel featuring uniform lieutenant Sylvia Stryker. If you like humorous mysteries, unique characters, and spacey fun, or read favorites like Joann Fluke or Dakota Cassidy, you'll love Diane Vallere's entertaining interstellar series. Previously published as SATURN NIGHT FEVER. “What a fun, unique, and intriguing story. Love the inside joke about red shirts. That and the laser cat! Lol!!.... Thank you for such an entertaining read!” – Reader “I am pleased to say that after finishing the third book in the series, the enchanting mind of author Diane Vallere continues to charm and come up with even more new fun and adventures around every corner.” – Reader CHAPTER ONE EXCERPT: When Neptune said I fought like a girl, I did the only respectable thing. I hit him. That’s not to say it’s a good idea for dropouts from the space academy to strike their newly-appointed superiors, but in this case, he deserved it. In the two versions of the story that will be told of the incident, at least one will contain the fact that technically, I was in training. Technically, the only reason we were on the helipad on the corner of Neptune’s property was because the helipad was a convenient place to practice. Technically, I was being paid a small sponsorship fee to test the durability of new uniforms designed for Moon Unit Corporation, and technically, the only way I could fully know if the uniforms were durable were to see how they held up when I threw a punch. Neptune’s version might include slight variations. “In case you haven’t noticed, I am a girl,” I said. Neptune was bigger, older, and more experienced than I was, and he probably had more important things to do than spend the day teaching me defensive maneuvers. But never graduating had left me with relatively few channels to advance my learning. After Moon Unit 6 returned from Venus, Neptune contacted me via the comm device implanted in my ear and offered me free room and board in exchange for lessons to pick up where my interrupted education had left off. I’d dropped out when my dad was arrested so I could help my mom with the family dry ice mines. Neptune’s offer to teach me gave us both something of value. I’d accepted, more for me than for him. I’m selfish that way. “You know why you were almost incapacitated on our last moon trek?” he asked. “Because you dropped your guard. You thought size and skill were enough to beat your enemy. You fought fair. You fought like a woman.” “Oh, so now I’m a woman?” I countered. “I grew up fast.” It wasn’t that Neptune treated me like a girl or a woman. He treated me like a student. And most of the time I was okay with that. But the voice in my head that I didn’t want to listen to wondered why someone like Neptune spent time training someone like me. It was a voice that hadn’t had much to question since my dad was arrested. Any attention paid to me usually had strings attached. Retribution for my dad’s crimes, or the novelty of my half Plunian background in a world where lavender women were now rare. More than once I’d fended off advances when I saw where they were headed. I developed a thick skin and narrowed my social circle to a very tight group. But despite the fact that Neptune was a muscular wall of taciturn authority, or maybe because of it, I was attracted to him. I doubted it was the black military-issue cargo gear he wore (did he buy his clothes in bulk?) or the intimidating stance he’d perfected long before I met him (arms crossed, feet shoulder-width apart). I’d never been attracted to men in power—in fact, power was a pretty tried-and-true turn-off. I didn’t know what it was about Neptune that made my lavender skin glow at the least opportune times. I only knew it was important to me to prove to him that I was different. Today, different meant throwing a non-girly punch. He grabbed my wrist and closed my fingers into a fist. His hand was twice the size of mine—tawny against my lavender coloring. “You have to toughen up, Stryker. You’re smart, and you learn information fast, but instincts don’t come from a book.” “I learned how to fight by an accredited Hapkido master. Or have you already forgotten that I dropped you with a sweeping kick because you underestimated me?” He let go of my fist and pointed at me. “Don’t let that go to your head. Success is built on failure. If you learn anything from these lessons, learn that. Failure is your friend.” “I thought failure wasn’t an option? The flight director of Earth’s space shuttle program said it, right? His biography was required reading.” “You didn’t read the book. That’s a made-up quote from a movie script. The flight director liked the line so much he used it for the title of his biography. Lesson number two: check your source. I thought you knew that by now.” I didn’t tell Neptune that I hadn’t read the book because the course took place after I dropped out. I’m pretty sure lesson number three was to keep your weaknesses to yourself. “Repeat it back to me.” “Blah, blah, check your source.” “Repeat what I told you about failure.” “‘Failure is my friend.’” “Remember that.” He turned around and walked a few feet away from me and then turned back. “If you think you can fight because you dropped me—once—then you’ll get complacent. Don’t forget what happened the last time you got complacent.” How could I forget? I almost died. It didn’t help that the fight had been four against one or that my oxygen supply had been cut off, rendering me helpless. My opponents knew my weakness and used it against me. Nothing fair about it. I didn’t want to admit it, but Neptune was right. I’d falsely assumed I could defend myself without too much effort, and my false sense of confidence had worked against me. “Go again,” he said. He bent his knees slightly and prepared for my attack. I swung my arms forward and backward, giant half circles to limber up my shoulders, and felt a seam tear. “Hold on. Uniform malfunction. Moon Unit Corporation thinks they can cut corners by using a different supplier, but the last six uniforms I tested fell apart.” “Where?” “Shoulder.” “Turn around.” I turned and pointed to where I’d felt the split. “What am I supposed to tell them this time? ‘Looks good but you can’t throw a girly punch’?” I felt Neptune tug the split fabric together. Even though I wasn’t looking at him, just the graze of his fingertips against my shoulder blade made me flush. “Why are you wasting your time with uniforms?” “Someday the name ‘Sylvia Stryker’ will be synonymous with space uniforms. After our trip to Venus, the publicity company who planned the hype around the Moon Units contacted me to wear test their prototypes. It’s a little cash on the side between treks and all things considered, I can use the money. I can’t crash here forever.” I knew Neptune wouldn’t pursue the conversation. He understood my predicament: no planet, no family, no home. He was with me the night space pirates destroyed everything I’d ever known. The only reason I agreed to train with him was because there’s a certain security in spending time with someone who prioritized silence over small talk. I could learn a lot from Neptune and I knew it. He could learn from me too. I wasn’t sure he knew that. Yet. Neptune’s loner lifestyle suited him, but I was glad that he begrudgingly allowed me to coexist on his property. Not one to mooch, I made sure to bring what I could to the table. Enter Mattix Dusk, space courier (and my Hapkido instructor) who traveled between the thirteen colonies under Federation Control, to pick up and deliver anything that needed to be picked up or delivered. I introduced the two men and they worked out a mutually acceptable deal. Mattix had use of the helipad and a place to crash while on the Kuiper Belt. Neptune had access to Mattix’s courier contacts and suppliers. And for the foreseeable future, I had not one but two mentors who could further my education. Where Neptune was tall, tawny, and solid muscle, Mattix looked like a piece of worn leather in loose-fitting castoff clothes. Tanned skin, bleached hair worn in a ponytail, and ragamuffin clothes suited him. His job as courier put him in front of shady characters, and he passed along his two most important pieces of advice: look like you have less than the other guy and learn to take care of yourself. Whatever direction my lesson was supposed to go was interrupted by a swiftly approaching space pod. I looked at the sky and watched it glide toward us. It was the Dusk Driver, the space pod that belonged to Mattix. I smiled and waved while backing up so he could land. As his space pod drew closer, alarm bells rang out from the nearby towers. His speed was too fast. He was going to crash. And if I didn’t get out of the way, I’d burn up in the wreckage. Neptune reached the same conclusion before I did. How do I know? When I tore my attention from the incoming space pod to tell Neptune something was wrong, I saw him charge toward me. The impact knocked me to the ground. Either Neptune knew what was happening and wanted to save me, or he was trying to make a point. From the bank of dirt alongside the helipad, the space pod jerked to a halt and then hovered two feet above the ground. Mattix knew better than to approach at the speed he had, but he’d compensated for the potential accident by activating the ship’s invisible buffer: a two foot “bumper” of static electricity that kept the exterior from contacting another surface. It operated much the same way as two magnets held in close proximity. The dueling forcefields pushed away from each other, making it impossible to touch. Mattix wouldn’t have activated the buffer shield unless something was wrong. I scrambled to my feet and, keeping my center of gravity low, approached the space pod. Mattix wouldn’t allow anyone else to navigate the ship without reason, which made what I saw even scarier. The ship was being flown on autopilot. _______________________________________ “It is set in outer space, but keeps a true cozy mystery vibe to it at the same time.” – Reader “Hijacked on a Moon Trek was another fantastic addition to this series! Sylvia and the gang are back in what is quite possibly the best installment yet. This series is quickly becoming one of my favorites. I can't get enough of it!” – Reader “This was the best in the series so far, with added depth in backstories for several of the characters.” – Reader For fans of Star Trek, Star Wars, Dune, UFO, The Orville, Galaxy Quest, Lost in Space, and The Jetsons. Diane-Fans describe “her vintage Vallere goodness,” and say she is a “great storyteller” with “a way with creating strong female characters and intrigue” who is “a superb and very humorous writer.” Her gift of creating “spunky sleuths in fun settings” take readers to Dallas, Palm Springs, Los Angeles, Pennsylvania, and outer space.

The Glass Bottom Hoax: A Madison Night Cozy Mystery

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1954579993
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 235

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Book Description
Cruising Caprice! Madison Night has a reputation for excellence in mid-century modern decorating, but when a covert opportunity to expose a crime ring on a cruise ship comes her way, she goes undercover. The job will test her acting skills as much as her investigative prowess: she’s booked as a Doris Day impersonator and police captain Tex Allen is posing as her manager husband. But roleplay and reality blur when the body of the entertainment director is found on the lido deck sometime between shuffleboard and sunset. The purser was Madison’s lone contact on the cruise ship, which leaves her adrift. Catching crooked employees is one thing, but exposing a murderer in the middle of the ocean is another. It’s bad enough that she’s expected to sing for her supper; her convenient cover story puts her in the center of danger. With a very fake husband and a very real crisis, Madison has to dive deep for answers before the tides turn against her. Can Madison keep her head above water, or will this case send her overboard? THE GLASS BOTTOM HOAX is the twelfth mystery in the Madison Night series. If you like Doris Day movies, resourceful sleuths, or edgy cozies, you’ll love Diane Vallere’s fun, escapist mystery.

Four Score: A Cozy Mystery Series Sampler

Author: Diane Vallere
Publisher: Polyester Press
ISBN: 1954579446
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 613

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Book Description
Score these humorous mystery series starters by national bestselling author Diane Vallere in one bingeable collection! FOUR SCORE Starter Bundle includes: DESIGNER DIRTY LAUNDRY, Samantha Kidd Mystery #1: Ready to redesign her life, style expert Samantha Kidd accepts a job in her Pennsylvania hometown as a trend specialist. But her first day goes completely A-line when she stumbles across her legendary boss dead in the elevator. And after the body disappears, she can't help but pull on the mystery's thread and unravel an entire wardrobe of suspects. Can Samantha put a killer in the spotlight before she's sewn up for a crime she didn't commit? MIDNIGHT ICE, Madison Night Mystery #0 (prequel): When Doris Day-loving decorator Madison Night crosses the country to distance herself from a breakup, she learns it’s harder to escape her past than she thought. The man who broke her heart turns up in the unlikeliest place -- the hotel lobby. His presence is unnerving; winning her back does not seem to be on his agenda. Can Madison keep her cool while spying on her ex, or will her curiosity put her on ice? FLY ME TO THE MOON, Sylvia Stryker Mystery #1: Sylvia Stryker used to help run her parents' dry ice farm, until her dad's arrest nearly left them bankrupt. But after finagling a job on board an outer space cruise ship, she's ready to explore all that outer space has to offer. With a private room in the staff quarters, her robot cat by her side, and the responsibilities of uniform management, Sylvia is thrilled to return to work--until she discovers the second navigation officer dead in the inventory closet. Can Sylvia expose a killer while keeping her presence under wraps? TAILS FROM THE DEEP, Mermaid Sister Mystery #1: Zoe wasn’t looking for trouble. As the middle daughter in a family of three mermaid sisters, she never gets the attention she deserves. She spends her days frolicking with sea creatures by the sunken battleship that sits at the edge of Sirenia, and her nights being lectured about danger. But when she finds a diver trapped in the kelp by the wreckage, she overcomes her shock to free him. The problem? The only available tool to cut him loose is in the body that on the ocean floor beside him. Zoe is used to being invisible around the other mermaids, but will digging for clues in the ocean floor lead to her watery grave? ? Get out your sleuthing gear and discover your new favorite amateur sleuth (or fall in love with all four. Score!) This bundle of humorous cozy and quirky mysteries appeals to readers who like: cozy mysteries, cozies, humorous mysteries, off-beath characters, amateur sleuths, whodunnit, whydunnit, women sleuths, box set, bundle, omnibus, crime, crime fiction, crime caper, crime comedy, chick lit mystery, collection of book 1s, sample set, fashion mysteries, assortment, lol, laugh out loud mysteries, murder mysteries, beach reads, light mysteries, feisty sleuths, clean reads