5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners PDF Download
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Author:
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1628734205
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 373
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Book Description
“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Author:
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1628734205
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 373
Get Book Here
Book Description
“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”
Author: Alex Gall
Publisher: Balboa Press
ISBN: 1504332539
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 303
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Book Description
Jokes 101 is a new and different view of the best jokes and interesting observations on 107 separate topics from accountants to zombies. If you are looking for funny, clean jokes on a specific topic, just select the jokes that best suit your purpose. If you are required to say a few words or give a speech, a well-chosen joke or observation will put your audience in a more receptive mood and make your appearance unforgettable and unique. If you’re talking to a group of barbers, try, “I received an expensive comb as a gift. I thanked my girlfriend and said, ‘I’ll never part with it.’” When speaking to a group of doctors, what can you say? Knowing the current zombie craze, try, “When he told the ladies that he was Doctor Jekyll, they all wanted to Hyde.” When speaking about family, try, “Here’s a statement that breaks a mother’s heart: ‘Mommy, I missed the school bus.’” If singing is a topic, try, “My daughter sang a duet with our dog; it was a howling success.” That’s enough punishment for now. Will you be a hit, the proverbial life of the party, based on your singularly entertaining and informative discussions or speeches using the jokes or observations stolen from this, in all modesty, semibombastic, fantastic material in Jokes 101? PS: I don’t know anyone who can do me a bit of good, so no important person has endorsed this book; you’ll just have to think positive.
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Publisher: Robinson
ISBN: 1780335369
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 607
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Book Description
A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Author: Scott McNeely
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1452113157
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 348
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Book Description
Whether you re making a toast at a wedding, trying to break the ice at a party, or just want to make your boss giggle, the Ultimate Book of Jokes is the first and last resource you'll ever need. From road-crossing chickens and classic knock knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of over 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with 2-color line art throughout. Scott McNeeley, author of Ultimate Book of Card Games, mined decades worth of jokes to find chuckle-inducing punch lines for joke lovers of all stripes from yo mamma aficionados to naughty limerick connoisseurs.
Author: Dave Phillips
Publisher: Gramercy
ISBN: 9780517226810
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."
Author: Rob Elliott
Publisher: Revell
ISBN: 0800788036
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 128
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Book Description
A collection of one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and tongue twisters.
Author: L. O. L. Funny Jokes Club
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781535541848
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 24
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Book Description
Funny Open Ended Jokes! Did you know that laughing can have positive physical and mental effects on the body?Laughter can lower blood pressure, lighten tense situations, and help you bond with friends and family. Jokes, humor, and comedy come in many forms. Whether it is a few funny jokes, a silly joke book, or a funny movie, we can all benefit from the positive effects of comedy and humor! You'll love this hilarious joke book. Share a funny joke with a friend today! 100 funny jokes Hilarious modern day humor Laugh out loud jokes and entertainment "I'm a little horse," said the pony with a sore throat." "If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?" "Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?" The LOL Funny Jokes Club is dedicated to comedy. We'll tickle your funny bone with our side-splitting jokes and humor. Whether it's funny and hilarious one-liners, dirty adult jokes, or laugh-out-loud rib tickling knee slappers, the LOL Funny Jokes Club does it all! Scroll up and click "buy" to start laughing now!
Author: Hugh Murmie
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108
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Book Description
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!
Author: Curtis Brown
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781497316577
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 26
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Book Description
Come take a Journey with Camden as his laugh leads him on a chase through the city. Along the way, running into obstacles and meeting a friend to help him capture the only thing that gives him the sound of joy. Will Camden ever get his laugh back?
Author: Jeremy Brown
Publisher: Media Lab Books
ISBN: 9781948174732
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 176
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Book Description
From giving as good as he got at the Harvard Lampoon to his comedic work in such films and TV shows as Donovan’s Reef, North to Alaska, Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In, I Love Lucy, Dean Martin Celebrity Roast and The Red Skelton Hour, John Wayne was never shy about exhibiting his wry, knowing sense of humor. It’s this facet of Duke that The Official John Wayne Big Book of Dad Jokes captures. A father of six children himself, Duke was no stranger to making kids crack up (or at least trying to). This book presents those stories of Duke as practical joker as well as willing victim, embedded within more than 400 clever, yet dreadful jokes, stories, riddles and puns, perfect for family members of every age. Some of the jokes are Duke- and Western-themed, but most are simply good, original Dad jokes: some good, some bad, some awful, but all funny. Readers will also find inside nearly three dozen fun photos of Duke exhibiting his good humor for all to see, laughing with his kids or fellow actors on set and behind the scenes, making this book a treasure for fans and fathers alike.
