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Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849544824
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 355
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Book Description
My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.
Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849544824
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 355
Get Book Here
Book Description
My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.
Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 184954672X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 298
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Book Description
After making us laugh out loud with 5,000 Great One-Liners, Grant Tucker goes one better with this uproarious sequel! More One-Liners is another hilarious volume of the finest quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks known to humanity. From twists on the classics to modern greats, from A-grade antics to X-rated gags, from jokes you could tell your mother to jokes about yo momma, there's something short, sweet and wickedly clever for everyone in this definitive volume.
Author: Scott McNeely
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 0811877957
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 349
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Book Description
From road-crossing chickens and classic knock-knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of more than 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with two-color line art throughout.
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Publisher: Robinson
ISBN: 1780335369
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 607
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Book Description
A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'
Author: Peter Lloyd
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849548528
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 254
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Book Description
DAILY MAIL BOOK OF THE WEEK Men must be the worst oppressors in history - we pay the most taxes, get the least support and play longer matches at Wimbledon for no extra money. We're also more likely to be homeless, circumcised, attacked, jailed, drafted, under-educated, short-changed in parenthood and shafted by divorce. Oh, and to top it all, we die sooner. Despite this, feminists still assert we live in a patriarchy and give us a hard time. Fortunately, Peter Lloyd is here to offer a reality check in this long-overdue lad bible. Part polemic, part toolkit for the modern man, Stand By Your Manhood answers all the burning questions facing the brotherhood today, including: Should we fund the first date? Is penis size a political issue? Are we sexist if we enjoy pornography? Why isn't there a men's minister? Politically incorrect, fearless and laugh-out-loud funny, this is the deliciously provocative book that gives blokes their balls back.
Author: Ned Sherrin
Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
ISBN: 0199237166
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 574
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Book Description
This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview
Author: Phil Mason
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 1849544816
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 265
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Book Description
If you want to hear something stupid, just listen to the nearest politician. From the authors of Read My Lips and Mission Accomplished!, this completely new collection of politicians' gaffes, slips and brain freezes brings the verbal misstep into the present era of coalition government in Britain, the 2012 presidential election campaign in America and the global phenomenon of Wikileaks. Here is a treasure trove of the finest worst utterings from the men and women whose main skill is meant to be their power of communication. From Bush, Obama and Palin to Brown, Cameron, Clegg and co., the mad, the bad, the stupid and the shameless are all in attendance -watch them shoot from the lip and hit themselves in the foot. If, as they always say, politicians want to be judged by their words, let them be these.
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 006195764X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 292
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Book Description
An American comic icon tells the story of his second–act rise from obscurity to multimedia stardom. "When I was a kid," writes Rodney Dangerfield, "I worked tough places in show business––places like Fonzo's Knuckle Room. Or Aldo's, formerly Vito's, formerly Nunzio's. That was a tough joint. I looked at the menu. They had broken leg of lamb." For once, one of America's most beloved comic icons isn't kidding. Dangerfield has seen every aspect of the entertainment industry: the rough–and–tumble nightclubs, the backstage gag–writing sessions, the drugs, the hookers, the lousy day jobs – and the red–carpet star treatment. As he traces his route from a poor childhood on Long Island to his enshrinement as a comedy legend, he takes readers on a roller–coaster ride through a life that has been alternately touching, sordid, funny, raunchy, and uplifting – equal parts "Little Orphan Annie" and "Caligula." And unlike most celebrity autobiographers, he seems to have no qualms about delivering the unfiltered whole story, warts and all. Dangerfield's personal story is also a rollicking show business tale, full of marquee name–droppings (Adam Sandler, Sam Kinison, Jim Carrey, Johnny Carson, Jerry Seinfeld) and good stories about same. Defying the old saws about the fleeting nature of fame and the dearth of second acts in American life, Dangerfield transformed himself from a debt–ridden aluminium–siding salesman named Jack Roy to a multimedia superstar – and stayed an icon for decades. His catchphrase – "I get no respect" – has entered the lexicon, and he remains a visible cultural presence and perennial talk–show guest. Dangerfield's hilarious and inspiring musings should thrill comedy fans and pop–culture watchers, and his second–act comeback will strike a chord with readers of all stripes. Maybe he'll even get some respect.
Author: Mojang AB
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781405295253
Category : Games & Activities
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Did you hear about the creeper's birthday party? It really went off with a BANG! Why does Alex love redstone lamps? Because they light up her life. Where do tired miners sleep? On bedrock. The official Minecraft Joke Book is packed full of hilarious jokes that will have you laughing your blocks off! There's something for every Minecrafter, whatever their age. Collect all of the official Minecraft books to become the best Minecrafter you can be: Minecraft Guide to Exploration: 9781405285971 Minecraft Guide to Creative: 9781405285988 Minecraft Guide to Redstone: 9781405286008 Minecraft Guide to the Nether and the End: 9781405285995 Minecraft Guide to Enchantments and Potions: 9781405288958 Minecraft Guide to PVP Minigames: 9781405288965 Minecraft Guide to Farming: 9781405290104 Minecraft Blockopedia: 9781405273534 Minecraft: Exploded Builds: Medieval Fortress: 9781405284172 Minecraft The Survivors' Book of Secrets: 9781405283335 Minecraft Survival Tin: 9781405288200 Minecraft Mobestiary: 9781405286022 Minecraft: The Ultimate Construction Collection: 9781405291927 Minecraft is a multi-platform block-based gaming sensation available on Xbox, PlayStation, PC and mobile devices. Whether you're in Creative, Survival or Hardcore Mode, the official Mojang-approved Minecraft books contain all the advice you need to survive and thrive.
Author: Robert Myers
Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
ISBN: 9781402741081
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 136
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Book Description
Wide-ranging collection of illustrated knock-knock jokes.
