100% Funny Mexican Jokes PDF Download
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Author: R. Cristi
Publisher: Psylon Press
ISBN: 9780986600401
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 82
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Book Description
Some random Mexican jokes from the book: A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?" His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not." *** A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold." Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm." Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone" *** What's a Mexican favorite book store? Borders. Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither. How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it. What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it's probably yours! Why are Mexicans so short? They all live in basement apartments. Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time? How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either. What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? Adopted. Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their mom clean it. 2 Mexicans are in a car, who is driving? A cop. Buy the book to read 100s more Mexican jokes!
Author: R. Cristi
Publisher: Psylon Press
ISBN: 9780986600401
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 82
Get Book Here
Book Description
Some random Mexican jokes from the book: A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules: "Honey, I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want - and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?" His lovely new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there'll be sex here at eight o'clock every night - whether you're here or not." *** A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane. The German sticks his hand out and says "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know," the German says, "Because it's so cold." Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says "We are in Australia," the others ask "How do you know," he replies "Because it's so warm." Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says " We are in Mexico," the others ask "How do you know," he says " Because my watch is gone" *** What's a Mexican favorite book store? Borders. Did you hear about that one Mexican that went to college? Yeah.. me neither. How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy pushing it. What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower? Unemployed. What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike? Chase after him, it's probably yours! Why are Mexicans so short? They all live in basement apartments. Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans? Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time? How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? They don't work in the future, either. What do you call a Mexican in a two-story house? Adopted. Why do Mexican kids walk around school like they own the place? Because their dads built it and their mom clean it. 2 Mexicans are in a car, who is driving? A cop. Buy the book to read 100s more Mexican jokes!
Author: Cabo Bob
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781494757328
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 186
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Book Description
Jokes and humor from Mexico! Invaluable for the Spanish student, expatriate looking to blend in, businessmen... and anybody who likes a good laugh. All humor in both Spanish and English, with pronunciation guide and study tips as you chucle your way through. There's no better way to be part of a country than to be laughing at its humor--and here's a collection of classics.
Author: John Paul Brammer
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982141514
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 224
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Book Description
The popular LGBTQ advice columnist and writer presents a memoir-in-essays chronicling his journey growing up as a queer, mixed-race kid in America's heartland to becoming the "Chicano Carrie Bradshaw" of his generation.
Author: Mike Callie
Publisher: CreateSpace
ISBN: 9781503147416
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 260
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Book Description
THE HILARIOUS GUIDE TO GREAT BAD TASTE MEXICAN JOKES Volume 3 Published By The Hilarious Press A superb and funny collection of over 220 premium Classic Dirty, Bad Taste, Offensive, insulting, and Racist MEXICAN JOKES & ONE LINERS that BEANERS, LATINOS, TACO HEADS, PUERTO RICANS, WET BACKS, HISPANICS, SPICKS, GREASEBALLS & "PEDROS" Really Hate.... And Rightfully So! Written, Edited and 'Massaged' for the needy "Bad Taste Deprived" by Acclaimed Comedy & Joke Writer and Producer, MIKE CALLIE as part of the Hilarious Bad Taste Joke Book Series. Available on www.Amazon.com) BAD TASTE HAS NEVER BEEN FUNNIER!! www.badtastebooks.com
Author: McSweeney's
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 030738733X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226
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Book Description
As John Hodgman says in this book's introduction, “We all know that books are funny. First, they are made of paste and cloth, which is funny, as is the fact that people still buy and read them.” With that in mind, the McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes collects the best book-related humor from the humor-laden archives of McSweeney's Internet Tendency. Open it and be regaled by such sketches, lists, letters, and spoofs as: Postcards from James Joyce to his Brother Stan Winnie-the-Pooh is My Coworker Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character? Popular Children's Fairy Tales Reimagined Using Members of My Family The Very Unauthorized Biography of Steven Seagal Chuck Norris Erotica John Updike, Television Writer Jane Eyre Runs for President Cormac McCarthy Writes to the Editor of the Santa Fe New Mexican Holden Caulfield Gives the Commencement Speech to a High School Letters from Odysseus's College Roommate And many dozens more.
Author: Jess Franken
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781521148402
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 123
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Book Description
A collection of the very best Yo Mama Jokes: Yo Mama So Fat, Yo Mama So Ugly, Yo Mama So Stupid and many more!
Author: Luis Alberto Urrea
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316516252
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 302
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Book Description
In this "raucous, moving, and necessary" story by a Pulitzer Prize finalist (San Francisco Chronicle), the De La Cruzes, a family on the Mexican-American border, celebrate two of their most beloved relatives during a joyous and bittersweet weekend. "All we do, mija, is love. Love is the answer. Nothing stops it. Not borders. Not death." In his final days, beloved and ailing patriarch Miguel Angel de La Cruz, affectionately called Big Angel, has summoned his entire clan for one last legendary birthday party. But as the party approaches, his mother, nearly one hundred, dies, transforming the weekend into a farewell doubleheader. Among the guests is Big Angel's half brother, known as Little Angel, who must reckon with the truth that although he shares a father with his siblings, he has not, as a half gringo, shared a life. Across two bittersweet days in their San Diego neighborhood, the revelers mingle among the palm trees and cacti, celebrating the lives of Big Angel and his mother, and recounting the many inspiring tales that have passed into family lore, the acts both ordinary and heroic that brought these citizens to a fraught and sublime country and allowed them to flourish in the land they have come to call home. Teeming with brilliance and humor, authentic at every turn, The House of Broken Angels is Luis Alberto Urrea at his best, and cements his reputation as a storyteller of the first rank. "Epic . . . Rambunctious . . . Highly entertaining." -- New York Times Book Review"Intimate and touching . . . the stuff of legend." -- San Francisco Chronicle"An immensely charming and moving tale." -- Boston GlobeNational Bestseller and National Book Critics Circle Award finalistA New York Times Notable BookOne of the Best Books of the Year from National Public Radio, American Library Association, San Francisco Chronicle, BookPage, Newsday, BuzzFeed, Kirkus, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Literary Hub
Author: Joe King
Publisher: Andersen Press Limited
ISBN: 1787612791
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 49
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Book Description
What did the ref say to the chicken who tripped a defender? Fowl Why was the footballer upset on his birthday? He got a red card These and many more howlers to make you laugh even if we lose the Cup!!!
Author: Gustavo Arellano
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416540032
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 275
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Book Description
DEAR MEXICAN: WHAT IS ASK A MEXICAN ? Questions and answers about our spiciest Americans. I explore the clich s of lowriders, busboys, and housekeepers; drunks and scoundrels; heroes and celebrities; and most important, millions upon millions of law-abiding, patriotic American citizens and their illegal-immigrant cousins who represent some $600 billion in economic power. WHY SHOULD I READ ASK A MEXICAN ? At 37 million strong (or 13 percent of the U.S. population), Latinos have become America's largest minority -- and beaners make up some two-thirds of that number. I confront the bogeymen of racism, xenophobia, and ignorance prompted by such demographic changes through answering questions put to me by readers of my Ask a Mexican column in California's OC Weekly. I challenge you to find a more entertaining way to immerse yourself in Mexican culture that doesn't involve a taco-and-enchilada combo. OKAY, WHY DO MEXICANS PARK THEIR CARS ON THE FRONT LAWN? Where do you want us to park them? The garage we rent out to a family of five? The backyard where we put up our recently immigrated cousins in tool-shack-cum-homes? The street with the red curbs recently approved by city planners? The driveway covered with construction materials for the latest expansion of la casa? The nearby school parking lot frequented by cholos on the prowl for a new radio? The lawn is the only spot Mexicans can park their cars without fear of break-ins, drunken crashes, or an unfortunate keying. Besides, what do you think protects us from drive-bys? The cops?
Author: Matt de la Peña
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0375891188
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 258
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Book Description
Newbery Award-winning and New York Times bestselling author Matt de la Peña's Mexican WhiteBoy is a story of friendship, acceptance, and the struggle to find your identity in a world of definitions. Danny's tall and skinny. Even though he’s not built, his arms are long enough to give his pitch a power so fierce any college scout would sign him on the spot. Ninety-five mile an hour fastball, but the boy’s not even on a team. Every time he gets up on the mound he loses it. But at his private school, they don’t expect much else from him. Danny’ s brown. Half-Mexican brown. And growing up in San Diego that close to the border means everyone else knows exactly who he is before he even opens his mouth. Before they find out he can’t speak Spanish, and before they realize his mom has blond hair and blue eyes, they’ve got him pegged. But it works the other way too. And Danny’s convinced it’s his whiteness that sent his father back to Mexico. That’s why he’s spending the summer with his dad’s family. Only, to find himself, he may just have to face the demons he refuses to see--the demons that are right in front of his face. And open up to a friendship he never saw coming. Matt de la Peña's critically acclaimed novel is an intimate and moving story that offers hope to those who least expect it. "[A] first-rate exploration of self-identity."-SLJ "Unique in its gritty realism and honest portrayal of the complexities of life for inner-city teens...De la Peña poignantly conveys the message that, despite obstacles, you must believe in yourself and shape your own future."-The Horn Book Magazine "The baseball scenes...sizzle like Danny's fastball...Danny's struggle to find his place will speak strongly to all teens, but especially to those of mixed race."-Booklist "De la Peña blends sports and street together in a satisfying search for personal identity."-Kirkus Reviews "Mexican WhiteBoy...shows that no matter what obstacles you face, you can still reach your dreams with a positive attitude. This is more than a book about a baseball player--this is a book about life."-Curtis Granderson, New York Mets outfielder An ALA-YALSA Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults A Junior Library Guild Selection
