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Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062092855
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 148
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Book Description
“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.
Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062092855
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 148
Get Book Here
Book Description
“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.
Author: Chris Pramas
Publisher: The Rosen Publishing Group, Inc
ISBN: 1508176264
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 74
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Book Description
Although few in number, elves produce the most skillful and deadly warriors of all the races. Renowned for their archery and agility, they are mostly associated with hit-and-run tactics; however, they should not be underestimated in open battle. From an initial examination of the fighting methods of the individual elf warrior, this lavishly illustrated volume goes on to reveal how they do battle in small companies and in vast armies. It covers all of their troop types, from their famed bowmen and swordmasters to their lightning-fast cavalry, making special note of regional variations and highly specialized fighters such as war mages and rendering a colorful panoramic view of the elfin way of war.
Author: Andrzej Sapkowski
Publisher: Orbit
ISBN: 0316073717
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 333
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Book Description
Andrzej Sapkowski’s New York Times bestselling Witcher series has inspired the hit Netflix show and multiple blockbuster video games, and has transported millions of fans around the globe to an epic, unforgettable world of magic and adventure. For over a century, humans, dwarves, gnomes, and elves have lived together in relative peace. But that peace has now come to an end. Geralt of Rivia, the hunter known as the Witcher, has been waiting for the birth of a prophesied child. The one who has the power to change the world for good—or for evil. As the threat of war hangs over the land and the child is pursued for her extraordinary powers, it will become Geralt’s responsibility to protect them all. And the Witcher never accepts defeat. Join Geralt of Rivia; his beloved ward and the child of prophecy, Ciri; and his ally and love, the powerful sorceress Yennefer as they battle monsters, demons, and prejudices alike in Blood of Elves, the first novel of The Witcher Saga. Witcher story collections The Last Wish Sword of Destiny Witcher novels Blood of Elves The Time of Contempt Baptism of Fire The Tower of Swallows Lady of the Lake Season of Storms (stand alone) Hussite Trilogy The Tower of Fools Warriors of God Light Perpetual Translated from original Polish by Danusia Stok
Author: Jeff Inlo
Publisher: Jeff Inlo
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 231
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Book Description
The Sphere of Ingar has been destroyed and pure magic now flows freely throughout the land of Uton. Magic casters arise as do the dark creatures that need magic to exist in this land. As the land changes and its inhabitants adapt, a growing wind of rebellion leads to potential disaster for all the races. The dwarf queen, Yave, declares war on the algors, blaming the desert dwellers for the tragedy which took the life of her eldest son. She leads a revolution against what remains of her own family. Dwarf separatists eager to assert their own superiority follow blindly as she begins her quest for revenge. Ryson Acumen, the pure bred delver who saved the land from Ingar's sphere, attempts to intervene. In response, human towns are attacked by the dwarf army of Dunop. Raids against the elves lead to escalated tensions. Even as the algors plan a response to protect their very existence, the elves threaten to unleash their own weapon of sheer terror against the dwarf city. The overriding need that brought the races together to defeat Ingar is gone as the land of Uton fractures into chaos.
Author: Elaine Cunningham
Publisher: Wizards of the Coast
ISBN: 0786962003
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 431
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Book Description
Discover the colorful history of Evermeet—the serene, beautiful, and inviolate home of the elves—in this centuries-spanning Forgotten Realms tale Rich in magic and treasure, Evermeet is the ultimate paradise to those who hear of its legends. To the beleaguered elves of Toril, it is the ultimate refuge. But to many, it is the ultimate prize. At the heart of its story is Amlaruil, Queen of All Elves. When Evermeet comes under massive, devastating attack, her sacrifice holds the last hope of saving the elven homeland from the evils of the Beast Lord Malar. Written by one of the leading Forgotten Realms authors, Evermeet is a thrilling tour through elven history—a history checkered by war and intrigue, heroes and villains, mortals and gods.
Author: Bethany Adams
Publisher: Bethany Adams
ISBN: 0999758756
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1166
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Book Description
A hidden conspiracy. A threat that spans worlds. A fate long foretold. When Arlyn journeys through the Veil to confront her elven father, she’s launched into life-altering quest for acceptance…and a place to belong. Journey into a realm where half-bloods, exiles, scouts, and seers band together to prevent their worlds’ destruction. This collection includes Books 1-4 in the Return of the Elves epic fantasy series: -Soulbound -Sundered -Exiled -Seared -Plus never-before-seen bonus content! “This is a great series. It's full of action, friendships, mystery, magic, fae, elves and love. Great story line and strong characters. So grab your copy and enjoy reading.” ~Amazon review of Seared “The author continues to weave these memorable characters in and around love and adventure. Start the series today. I do not think you will be disappointed!” ~Booknook Reviews
Author: Richard S. Tuttle
Publisher: KBS Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Elves
Languages : en
Pages : 269
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Book Description
Thousands of years ago, humans attacked Elvangar, the land of the elves. The elves responded with a devastating attack, which ended with the sealing of the human city of Angragar. Sealed by the hand of Kaltara and hidden in an impenetrable jungle, Angragar has remained dormant waiting for the prophesized Astor to arrive and reopen the gates. Now that the Time of Calling has arrived, Angragar has awakened, and the elves of Elvangar prepare for a human invasion. Caught in the middle are four elves who have escaped from the Island of Darkness. Eltor, Caldal, Mistake, and MistyTrail tread carefully in both lands as the world prepares for a war unlike any other in history.
Author: Keith Ammann
Publisher: Gallery / Saga Press
ISBN: 1982122668
Category : Games & Activities
Languages : en
Pages : 560
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Book Description
From the creator of the popular blog The Monsters Know What They’re Doing comes a compilation of villainous battle plans for Dungeon Masters. In the course of a Dungeons & Dragons game, a Dungeon Master has to make one decision after another in response to player behavior—and the better the players, the more unpredictable their behavior! It’s easy for even an experienced DM to get bogged down in on-the-spot decision-making or to let combat devolve into a boring slugfest, with enemies running directly at the player characters and biting, bashing, and slashing away. In The Monsters Know What They’re Doing, Keith Ammann lightens the DM’s burden by helping you understand your monsters’ abilities and develop battle plans before your fifth edition D&D game session begins. Just as soldiers don’t whip out their field manuals for the first time when they’re already under fire, a DM shouldn’t wait until the PCs have just encountered a dozen bullywugs to figure out how they advance, fight, and retreat. Easy to read and apply, The Monsters Know What They're Doing is essential reading for every DM.
Author: D. Melhoff
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780992133191
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 58
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Book Description
When a greedy toymaker stumbles across one of Santa's elves on Christmas Eve, he holds the elf hostage in a sinister attempt to overthrow the North Pole. Can Christmastown withstand the attack, or will it take a holiday miracle to stop the villain from going too far?
Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062392913
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1307
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Book Description
Five acid-splashed Florida capers in one great package! Prepare for the road trip of a lifetime with everyone's favorite serial killer, Serge A. Storms, in the New York Times bestselling series from the “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey. In CADILLAC BEACH, Serge A. Storms, the one-man crime spree, hits no speed bumps as he swings through Tampa, Disney World, and parts south before settling down in Miami Beach to team up with a former sidekick and launch his long-overdue offbeat travel service. Our overachieving antihero has a full to-do list, and he multitasks during the tourist juggernaut to battle the Palermo crime family, mystery assassins, local police, the FBI, the CIA, Fidel Castro, and telemarketers. Serge and his customers have become the hunted, hopscotching through a series of famous hotel rooms. But Serge tells them not to worry. He has a master plan, which is about to unfold in all of its insane glory . . . on Cadillac Beach! In TORPEDO JUICE, this time our lovable but maniacal hero is on a mission: Stay off police radar and reinvent himself. Naturally Serge makes a beeline to the Reinvention Capital of the United States, the Florida Keys, where nobody is who they seem to be and the freaks are the least of your worries. The perfect place for Serge to blend in! Unfortunately, some other less likable lunatics have latched on to the same idea, and the sheriff's fax machine keeps jamming because of all the APBs coming in like a storm front about to break... Lurking beneath paradise are many questions: Who is the mystery driver of the metallic green Trans Am? The brown Plymouth Duster with Ohio plates? What about the white Mercedes with tinted windows? In THE BIG BAMBOO, Serge finds time to resurrect his obsession with movies, particularly those showcasing his beloved home state. And he wants answers! Why aren't more films shot here? How come the ones that are stink so bad? And what's up with filming "Florida" scenes in California? Then there's the cryptic message from his grandfather, Sergio, telling him to go to Los Angeles to uncover a mysterious secret from the distant past. It's too much of a coincidence. It's fate. Naturally, Serge, accompanied by his substance-sustained sidekick, Coleman, must immediately hop a transcontinental flight to straighten out Hollywood once and for all. In HURRICANE PUNCH, our lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance—just as his cherished home state is about to take a beating from a conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. But as Serge and his burnout buddy Coleman go storm-chasing, bodies begin turning up at a disturbing rate, even by Florida standards. It looks like a serial killer is on the loose—another serial killer—which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities. And he vows he'll stop at nothing to unmask his thrill-killing rival and make All Things Right—though Coleman's triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging threatens to derail the mission more completely than the entire combined Sunshine State police community could ever hope to. In ATOMIC LOBSTER, Serge is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs. So is Coleman, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered. Then there's good ol' Jim Davenport, the E-Team, the Diaz Brothers, and Johnny Vegas, the Accidental Virgin, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of that blood-soaked criminal clan, the McGraws, whose nastiest, meanest member is finally released from prison and heads south bent on revenge. On top of it all, the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security.
