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Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 1588364771
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 240
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Book Description
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 1588364771
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 240
Get Book Here
Book Description
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0812969014
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 240
Get Book Here
Book Description
She thought she’d have more time. Laurie Notaro figured she had at least a few good years left. But no–it’s happened. She has officially lost her marbles. From the kid at the pet-food store checkout line whose coif is so bizarre it makes her seethe “I’m going to kick his hair’s ass!” to the hapless Sears customer-service rep on the receiving end of her Campaign of Terror, no one is safe from Laurie’s wrath. Her cranky side seems to have eaten the rest of her–inner-thigh Chub Rub and all. And the results are breathtaking. Her riffs on e-mail spam (“With all of these irresistible offers served up to me on a plate, I WANT A PENIS NOW!!”), eBay (“There should be an eBay wading pool, where you can only bid on Precious Moments figurines and Avon products, that you have to make it through before jumping into the deep end”), and the perils of St. Patrick’s Day (“When I’m driving, the last thing I need is a herd of inebriates darting in and out of traffic like loaded chickens”) are the stuff of legend. And for Laurie, it’s all true.
Author: Laurie Notaro
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345526317
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 223
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Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Everyone’s favorite Idiot Girl, Laurie Notaro, is just trying to find the right fit, whether it’s in the adorable blouse that looks charming on the mannequin but leaves her in a literal bind or in her neighborhood after she’s shamefully exposed at a holiday party by delivering a low-quality rendition of “Jingle Bells.” Notaro makes misstep after riotous misstep as she shares tales of marriage and family, including stories about the dog-bark translator that deciphers Notaro’s and her husband’s own “woofs” a little too accurately, the emails from her mother with “FWD” in the subject line (“which in email code means Forecasting World Destruction”), and the dead-of-night shopping sprees and Devil Dog–devouring monkeyshines of a creature known as “Ambien Laurie.” At every turn, Notaro’s pluck and irresistible candor set the New York Times bestselling author on a journey that’s laugh-out-loud funny and utterly unforgettable.
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Category : American essays
Languages : en
Pages : 894
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Book Description
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Languages : en
Pages : 548
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Book Description
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Languages : en
Pages : 706
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Book Description
Author: Mrs. Oliphant
Publisher: BoD – Books on Demand
ISBN: 3368933027
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 250
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Book Description
Reproduction of the original.
Author: H. Arnold Barton
Publisher: U of Minnesota Press
ISBN: 9781452905457
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 376
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Book Description
Swedish immigrants tell their own stories in this collection of letters, diaries, and memoirs--a perfect book for those interested in history, immigration, or just the daily lives of early Swedish-American settlers.
Author: Jeanne Ellington
Publisher: WestBow Press
ISBN: 144973247X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 144
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Book Description
Voyage to Romance tells a story about a young French girl working in a café, catering to American GI's. Renee had dreamed of college and a career, but that was financially impossible for her. She decided that marriage was her next-best option. After knowing Rob for several months, she felt that she had met her own true love. A golden opportunity to know him better came when he said how much he missed home and family, so she invited him to her home for dinner. However, she hadn't considered a potential problem by doing so. Ria., her pretty older sister, nearer Rob's age, was down over a recent breakup with her long-time boyfriend and ready to play the field. And Rob was there to play with her. Renee was heartbroken. Would she ever find anyone like Rob? Would her wish come true that he would fall in love with her, after all? Or, was she to lose the man she loved and, perhaps, her sister too?
Author: Celia Rivenbark
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1429908254
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 292
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Book Description
"On the short drive to the preschool, I dutifully unwrap a NutriGrain bar and toss it into the back seat to my four-year-old. Sometimes I'll even unwrap one for myself. Studies have shown that it's very important for familes to eat together. . . . " Why couldn't the Sopranos survive living down South? Simple. You can't shoot a guy full of holes after eating chicken and pastry, spoon bread, okra, and tomatoes. What does a Southern woman consider grounds for divorce? When Daddy takes the kids out in public dressed in pajama tops and Tweety Bird swim socks. Again. What is the Southern woman's opinion of a new "fat virus" theory? Bring it on! We've got a lot of skinny friends we need to sneeze on. Want to become honest-to-Jesus white trash? Spend two weeks' salary on hair extensions and pancake makeup for your three-year-old so she can win a five-dollar trophy in the Wee Tiny Miss pageant and the adoration of, well, nobody much. What does the Southern woman think of Paul McCartney's marriage to a model thirty years younger? We're not surprised. Statistically speaking, it's almost impossible for billionaires to discover that their soulmates are fifty-five and restocking the shampoo end caps at Kmart. In this wickedly funny follow-up to her bestselling Bless Your Heart, Tramp, Celia Rivenbark welcomes you, once again, to the south she loves, the land of "Mama and them's," "precious and dahlin," and mommies who mow. Ya'll come back now, you hear.
