These Jokes Will Annoy Everyone You Know at Christmas PDF Download
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Author: Penguin Random House Australia
Publisher: Penguin Group Australia
ISBN: 1760149802
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Bother all your friends, brothers, sisters, parents, teachers, pets and anyone else you can find with these terrible, awful, very-very-very bad Christmas jokes. · What is Santa’s favourite musical instrument? The sleigh bell. · What kind of money do elves use? Jingle bills. · How does Darth Vader enjoy his turkey for Christmas? On the dark side. · What is Father Christmas's dog’s name? Santa Paws. Including fun (possibly untrue) Christmas facts, a Q&A with Santa himself and riddles to make even the grumpiest grinch laugh, this book is a must-have in your Christmas stocking.
Author: Penguin Random House Australia
Publisher: Penguin Group Australia
ISBN: 1760149802
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Get Book Here
Book Description
Bother all your friends, brothers, sisters, parents, teachers, pets and anyone else you can find with these terrible, awful, very-very-very bad Christmas jokes. · What is Santa’s favourite musical instrument? The sleigh bell. · What kind of money do elves use? Jingle bills. · How does Darth Vader enjoy his turkey for Christmas? On the dark side. · What is Father Christmas's dog’s name? Santa Paws. Including fun (possibly untrue) Christmas facts, a Q&A with Santa himself and riddles to make even the grumpiest grinch laugh, this book is a must-have in your Christmas stocking.
Author: No Author Supplied
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781761349768
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Author: Penguin Random House Australia
Publisher: Random House Australia
ISBN: 1761346199
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
Drive everyone up the wall and round the twist with 605 jokes and tongue twisters so silly, so bad, so annoying, your friends and family will never forgive you! Tell Dad to step aside with his jokes and throw some of these his way . . . What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk. How does a snow globe feel at Christmas? A little shaken. What do you call someone who sees a crime at an Apple store? An iWitness. Why did the police detective suspect the artist? He was sketchy. What do you call a really good game of badminton? Radminton. What type of cheese is not yours? Nacho cheese. What goes 99-thump, 99-thump? A centipede with a wooden leg. What did Jay-Z call his wife before they were married? Feyonce.
Author: Elias Hill
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781977645210
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 106
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Book Description
Here we go again. The dad jokes are back but this time we are making it a bit festive by only including dad jokes related to the holiday season. Get this humorous 101 Dad Jokes: Christmas Edition book today if you want to read dads' take on gift exchanges, Santa, the reindeer and holiday traditions. All of these jokes are family-friendly so everyone can enjoy 101 Dad Jokes: Christmas Edition together. Get dad what he really wants this Christmas and all year round - more jokes to annoy everyone with!
Author: Fiona Macdonald
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited
ISBN: 190875902X
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 109
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Book Description
Just when you thought it was safe to take a sneak peek into your stocking, it's 'Christmas: A Very Peculiar History'. Taking an unbiased view of the myth and mystery surrounding the origins of the yuletide season, this book introduces mindbending facts about the holiday season and shatters the myths surrounding some of Christmas' most treasured and well-known facets: When exactly was Jesus born? Why is Santa's outfit red and white? Where do we get Christmas trees from? What's the snow in a snowglobe made of? What's Boxing Day all about? 'Christmas: A Very Peculiar History' takes a sideways look at bizarre yuletide customs and stories from around the world, such as Santa's evil sidekick, the terrifying Krampus, and the Scandinavian celebration of Saint Lucy. So leave the mince pies on the mantlepiece if you've been good and block up your chimneys if you've been bad, because 'Christmas: A Very Peculiar History' is here.
Author: Alison Green
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0399181822
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 306
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Book Description
From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together
Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : American literature
Languages : en
Pages : 1050
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Book Description
Author: Jaimie Admans
Publisher: Jaimie Admans
ISBN:
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 102
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Book Description
Strange things are occurring in the neighbourhood. A mysterious snowfall, one Santa too many, and eyes of coal that watch you wherever you go. Ten-year-old Kaity is busy trying to get rid of her mum's creepy new boyfriend and reunite her divorced parents, but her curiosity gets the better of her when she meets the new mall Santa and his enchanting daughter Blizzard. Can Kaity help them save Christmas from being destroyed by Anti-Claus - a pretend Santa who is a permanent member of the naughty list? It's Christmas in the village of Chelferry, but this year the snowmen can move, the fairy won't stay on top of the Christmas tree, and if you listen closely to the musical Christmas cards, you can hear the faint sound of screaming over the Jingle Bells... - - - - - - - - - - Creepy Christmas is a 50,000 word (approx 200 pages) novel suitable for ages 8 and upwards. [Keywords: Christmas, family, divorce, middle-grade, Santa, holidays, festive, freebie, free.]
Author: Maureen Reil
Publisher: Maureen Reil
ISBN:
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 110
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Book Description
Dear Santa, I’ve been a good girl all year, especially to my sister who’d made me lose weight before her wedding or I would not have been allowed to attend it. And some people have a strict dress code at their nuptials, but Alice insisted on a strict diet for the bridal party so as not to spoil the pictures by having a ‘fatty’ in the main ones (which were her words not mine, so no offence big guy). I have loved and done my best by my family, my friends and most of all, the special one who shares my soul, my bed (but not at my parents house for they won’t allow it under their roof if we’re not married). And I don’t mean my dog either when I mention bringing me joy beyond my expectations (although he does matter hugely to me) but I speak about the great love of my life, being the one and only Harvey Brands (so do ignore and excuse the happy tear stains on the ink). I’ve included a little wish list if you’d care to look it over and perhaps find it in your generous heart to grant me at least one or two of them, then I would be eternally grateful and believe in the magic of Christmas forever and a day. 1. Please make my sister Alice be nice to me. 2. Please, make this upcoming year the best ever. 3. Please, make the following week dry and bright with cold, not freezing to death weather. 4. Please, make this Christmas/New Year a joyous occasion for everyone I know and respect. 5. Please, make everything turn out perfect if it is going to be my last Christmas at home. 6. Please, make this winter white wedding the stuff of dreams, not nightmares. 7. Please, make my gift a spa retreat, as I need it to relieve the stress of organising a wedding. 8. Please, make wishes 1-6 come true and I can live without the spa date if I really had to. Thank you for taking the time to read my begging letter. I fully understand why you didn’t bring me a million pounds last time, it was silly of me to think that you’d carry that kind of ready cash on your person to deliver down the chimney (which would make it ‘dirty money’) when everyone knows you only carry toys and presents in that sack. If I really want to win the lottery then I will have to buy a ticket like everyone else I suppose so here is to winning my fortune in the future, cheers. Yours faithfully, Molly Compton (age 30⅓). XXX P.S. This is the third and final book in the Christmas Comedy Trilogy of British short novels and comes with warm wishes all round for a Happy Holidays and a peaceful New Year once again. While inviting you to read all about the farcical frivolity of sharing this Yuletide tale with our Molly, family and friends for a funny, fun-filled festivity and together we will be sure to make it one to remember.
Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1909396095
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178
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Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
