The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet

The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet PDF Author: Jake Maia Arlow
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593112970
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 289

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Book Description
A hilariously honest book about surviving middle school while navigating a chronic illness from the Stonewall Honor-winning author of Almost Flying. Twelve-year-old Al Schneider is too scared to talk about the two biggest things in her life: 1. Her stomach hurts all the time and she has no idea why. 2. She’s almost definitely 100% sure she likes girls. So she holds it in…until she can’t. After nearly having an accident of the lavatorial variety in gym class, Al finds herself getting a colonoscopy and an answer—she has Crohn’s disease. But rather than solving all her problems, Al's diagnosis just makes everything worse. It’s scary and embarrassing. And worst of all, everyone wants her to talk about it—her overprotective mom, her best friend, and most annoyingly her gastroenterologist, who keeps trying to get her to go to a support group for kids with similar chronic illnesses. But, who wants to talk about what you do in the bathroom? The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet is a wildly funny and honest story about finding community, telling the truth even when it’s hard, and the many indignities of middle school life.

The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet

The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet PDF Author: Jake Maia Arlow
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593112970
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Get Book

Book Description
A hilariously honest book about surviving middle school while navigating a chronic illness from the Stonewall Honor-winning author of Almost Flying. Twelve-year-old Al Schneider is too scared to talk about the two biggest things in her life: 1. Her stomach hurts all the time and she has no idea why. 2. She’s almost definitely 100% sure she likes girls. So she holds it in…until she can’t. After nearly having an accident of the lavatorial variety in gym class, Al finds herself getting a colonoscopy and an answer—she has Crohn’s disease. But rather than solving all her problems, Al's diagnosis just makes everything worse. It’s scary and embarrassing. And worst of all, everyone wants her to talk about it—her overprotective mom, her best friend, and most annoyingly her gastroenterologist, who keeps trying to get her to go to a support group for kids with similar chronic illnesses. But, who wants to talk about what you do in the bathroom? The Year My Life Went Down the Toilet is a wildly funny and honest story about finding community, telling the truth even when it’s hard, and the many indignities of middle school life.

Almost Flying

Almost Flying PDF Author: Jake Maia Arlow
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593112946
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 353

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Book Description
In this Stonewall Honor book, a week-long amusement park road trip becomes a true roller coaster of emotion when Dalia realizes she has more-than-friend feelings for her new bestie. "Dalia’s journey to self-discovery is refreshingly honest, and this entire cast of characters will steal your heart.” – Maulik Pancholy, actor and Stonewall Honor-winning author of The Best At It Would-be amusement park aficionado Dalia only has two items on her summer bucket list: (1) finally ride a roller coaster and (2) figure out how to make a new best friend. But when her dad suddenly announces that he's engaged, Dalia's schemes come to a screeching halt. With Dalia's future stepsister Alexa heading back to college soon, the grown-ups want the girls to spend the last weeks of summer bonding--meaning Alexa has to cancel the amusement park road trip she's been planning for months. Luckily Dalia comes up with a new plan: If she joins Alexa on her trip and brings Rani, the new girl from her swim team, along maybe she can have the perfect summer after all. But what starts out as a week of funnel cakes and Lazy River rides goes off the rails when Dalia discovers that Alexa's girlfriend is joining the trip. And keeping Alexa's secret makes Dalia realize one of her own: She might have more-than-friend feelings for Rani.

Motel of the Mysteries

Motel of the Mysteries PDF Author: David Macaulay
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547770723
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 97

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Book Description
It is the year 4022; all of the ancient country of Usa has been buried under many feet of detritus from a catastrophe that occurred back in 1985. Imagine, then, the excitement that Howard Carson, an amateur archeologist at best, experienced when in crossing the perimeter of an abandoned excavation site he felt the ground give way beneath him and found himself at the bottom of a shaft, which, judging from the DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging from an archaic doorknob, was clearly the entrance to a still-sealed burial chamber. Carson's incredible discoveries, including the remains of two bodies, one of then on a ceremonial bed facing an altar that appeared to be a means of communicating with the Gods and the other lying in a porcelain sarcophagus in the Inner Chamber, permitted him to piece together the whole fabric of that extraordinary civilization.

The Evil Wizard Smallbone

The Evil Wizard Smallbone PDF Author: Delia Sherman
Publisher: Candlewick Press
ISBN: 0763691925
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416

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Book Description
In a hilarious tale reminiscent of T. H. White, a lost boy finds himself an unlikely apprentice to the very old, vaguely evil, mostly just grumpy Wizard Smallbone. When twelve-year-old Nick runs away from his uncle’s in the middle of a blizzard, he stumbles onto a very opinionated bookstore. He also meets its guardian, the self-proclaimed Evil Wizard Smallbone, who calls Nick his apprentice and won’t let him leave, but won’t teach him magic, either. It’s a good thing the bookstore takes Nick’s magical education in hand, because Smallbone’s nemesis—the Evil Wizard Fidelou—and his pack of shape-shifting bikers are howling at the borders. Smallbone might call himself evil, but compared to Fidelou, he’s practically a puppy. And he can’t handle Fidelou alone. Wildly funny and cozily heartfelt, Delia Sherman’s latest is an eccentric fantasy adventure featuring dueling wizards, enchanted animals, and one stray boy with a surprising knack for magic.

Mulrox and the Malcognitos

Mulrox and the Malcognitos PDF Author: Kerelyn Smith
Publisher: Fog Field Press
ISBN: 1734216921
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 364

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Book Description
A wildly fun adventure about friendship, imagination, and embracing your imperfections. When an ogre poet’s bad ideas come to life, he must go on a quest to save them before his world descends into chaos. For ages 8-12, fans of The Phantom Tollbooth, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz will delight in this wacky and insightful children’s fantasy novel. A bad idea is nothing to worry about… until it knocks on your door. Mulrox the ogre harbors a secret desire to become the world's greatest poet. Unfortunately, all of his ideas are rotten. But when his terrible ideas come to life, Mulrox soon finds himself on a quest to protect the very ideas he loathes, the malcognitos as they call themselves. Accompanied by his sassy pet toad, quirky neighbor, and a hoard of mischievous bad ideas, Mulrox must travel to the malcognitos' realm, uncover the mystery of the beast hunting them, and return home in time to deliver the best poem of his life. If you like prophetic rodents, spellbinding sneezes, and ferocious sheep, you'll love this book. Join Mulrox and his friends for a wild ride full of antics, strange new creatures, and lots of bad poetry.

How to Excavate a Heart

How to Excavate a Heart PDF Author: Jake Maia Arlow
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063078740
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 311

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Book Description
Stonewall Honor author Jake Maia Arlow delivers a sapphic Jewish twist on the classic Christmas rom-com in a read perfect for fans of Kelly Quindlen and Casey McQuiston. It all starts when Shani runs into May. Like, literally. With her mom’s Subaru. Attempted vehicular manslaughter was not part of Shani’s plan. She was supposed to be focusing on her monthlong paleoichthyology internship. She was going to spend all her time thinking about dead fish and not at all about how she was unceremoniously dumped days before winter break. It could be going better. But when a dog-walking gig puts her back in May’s path, the fossils she’s meant to be diligently studying are pushed to the side—along with the breakup. Then they’re snowed in together on Christmas Eve. As things start to feel more serious, though, Shani’s hurt over her ex-girlfriend’s rejection comes rushing back. Is she ready to try a committed relationship again, or is she okay with this just being a passing winter fling?

Um ... Mommy, I Think I Flushed My Brother Down the Toilet (Again)

Um ... Mommy, I Think I Flushed My Brother Down the Toilet (Again) PDF Author: Jeff Rivera
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781539390923
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 36

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Book Description
The exciting SEQUEL (PART 2) to the original bestselling children's book Welcome to 'Yuck Kingdom'-AGAIN! Falisha Whiskers has flushed her little brother Jesse down the toilet even after she promised, no matter how annoying he is, to never ever to do it again! Now she has to flush herself down onto the muddy streets made of smelly jelly fellies, even though she'd hoped to never step foot inside that gross place again. This time Falisha discovers she is on a special mission to rescue Jessie and all the Urpie Burpies from The Toilet Paper King-The Most Evil King in all of Yuck Kingdom-before it's too late. Will she and a team of Slumpy Bumpies find them and get home before Falisha and Jessie's daddy comes home or will Jessie have to stay in 'Yuck Kingdom' with The Toilet Paper King forever?

Oh Crap! Potty Training

Oh Crap! Potty Training PDF Author: Jamie Glowacki
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501122991
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 167

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Book Description
From potty-training expert and social worker Jamie Glowacki, who’s already helped over half a million families successfully toilet train their preschoolers, comes a newly revised and updated guide that’s “straight-up, parent-tested, and funny to boot” (Amber Dusick, author of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures). Worried about potty training? Let Jamie Glowacki, potty-training expert, show you how it’s done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for tens of thousands of kids and their parents. Here’s the good news: your child is probably ready to be potty trained EARLIER than you think (ideally, between 20–30 months), and it can be done FASTER than you expect (most kids get the basics in a few days—but Jamie’s got you covered even if it takes a little longer). If you’ve ever said to yourself: -How do I know if my kid is ready? -Why won’t my child poop in the potty? -How do I avoid “potty power struggles”? -How can I get their daycare provider on board? -My kid was doing so well—why is he regressing? -And what about nighttime?! Oh Crap! Potty Training can solve all of these (and other) common issues. This isn’t theory, you’re not bribing with candy, and there are no gimmicks. This is real-world, from-the-trenches potty training information—all the questions and all the answers you need to do it once and be done with diapers for good.

Homesick for Another World

Homesick for Another World PDF Author: Ottessa Moshfegh
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0399562893
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 306

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Book Description
A New York Times Book Review Notable Book of 2017 An electrifying first collection from one of the most exciting short story writers of our time "I can’t recall the last time I laughed this hard at a book. Simultaneously, I’m shocked and scandalized. She’s brilliant, this young woman."—David Sedaris Ottessa Moshfegh's debut novel Eileen was one of the literary events of 2015. Garlanded with critical acclaim, it was named a book of the year by The Washington Post and the San Francisco Chronicle, nominated for a National Book Critics Circle Award, short-listed for the Man Booker Prize, and won the PEN/Hemingway Award for debut fiction. But as many critics noted, Moshfegh is particularly held in awe for her short stories. Homesick for Another World is the rare case where an author's short story collection is if anything more anticipated than her novel. And for good reason. There's something eerily unsettling about Ottessa Moshfegh's stories, something almost dangerous, while also being delightful, and even laugh-out-loud funny. Her characters are all unsteady on their feet in one way or another; they all yearn for connection and betterment, though each in very different ways, but they are often tripped up by their own baser impulses and existential insecurities. Homesick for Another World is a master class in the varieties of self-deception across the gamut of individuals representing the human condition. But part of the unique quality of her voice, the echt Moshfeghian experience, is the way the grotesque and the outrageous are infused with tenderness and compassion. Moshfegh is our Flannery O'Connor, and Homesick for Another World is her Everything That Rises Must Converge or A Good Man is Hard to Find. The flesh is weak; the timber is crooked; people are cruel to each other, and stupid, and hurtful. But beauty comes from strange sources. And the dark energy surging through these stories is powerfully invigorating. We're in the hands of an author with a big mind, a big heart, blazing chops, and a political acuity that is needle-sharp. The needle hits the vein before we even feel the prick.

The Panic Years

The Panic Years PDF Author: Nell Frizzell
Publisher: Flatiron Books
ISBN: 1250268133
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 272

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Book Description
Renowned journalist Nell Frizzell explores what happens when a woman begins to ask herself: should I have a baby? We have descriptors for many periods of life—adolescence, menopause, mid-life crisis, quarter-life crisis—but there is a period of profound change that many women face, often in their late twenties to early forties, that does not yet have a name. Nell Frizzell is calling this period of flux “the panic years,” and it is often characterized by a preoccupation with one major question: should I have a baby? And from there—do I want a baby? With whom should I have a baby? How will I know when I’m ready? Decisions made during this period suddenly take on more weight, as questions of love, career, friendship, fertility, and family clash together while peers begin the process of coupling and breeding. But this very important process is rarely written or talked about beyond the clichés of the “ticking clock.” Enter Frizzell, our comforting guide, who uses personal stories from her own experiences in the panic years to illuminate the larger social and cultural trends, and gives voice to the uncertainty, confusion, and urgency that tends to characterize this time of life. Frizzell reminds us that we are not alone in this, and encourages us to share our experiences and those of the women around us—as she does with honesty and vulnerability in these pages. Raw and hilarious, The Panic Years is an arm around the shoulder for every woman trying to navigate life’s big decisions against the backdrop of the mother of all questions.