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Author: Annemarie Elstner
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1477227296
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 115
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Book Description
Queen Holandasia is extremely concerned about the poverty, gloominess, and oh so very dreary state of her kingdom, the so-called royal kingdom of Grottenville. All that is required is a marriage between her son, Prince William, and Princess Petunia of Petulasia, a wealthy kingdom with great tourist trade, rolling hills, and sunshine. But the prince is just not interested at all. One dark and stormy night, a mysterious girl turns up at the Grottenville palace doors. The very unimpressed royal butler, Snootenville, opens the palace doors to this bedraggled-looking stranger. Convinced the girl is a mere peasant taking a fat chance, he drags her to the royal kitchen. But finally, the girl is presented to the queen, where she announces that she is, in fact, Princess Clarabella of Muchmoridian, an even richer and more splendid kingdom than Petulasia. The queen does a quick calculation in her head and sums up the advantages of Prince William marrying this mysterious girl. Oh, how nice it would be to have new drapes, new ball gowns, a new fluffy white poodle, and satellite TV! But the queen is also afraid of being the laughingstock of all of Grottenville. Queen Holandasia proceeds to put Princess Clarabella through the most gruelling and absolutely ridiculous test of all time, the Ultimate Princess Authenticity Test, to prove the girl’s royal identity. Lots of lies and deceit, laughter and giggles, sighs and slurps fill the pages of The Princess and the Pinkie Nail. Have fun with the delightful, quirky, and sometimes absolutely awful Grottenville royalty, servants, and, of course, mysterious guest. And like all good stories, learn a moral or two and even some handy hints! A great entertaining read for young and old alike. Enjoy!
Author: Annemarie Elstner
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 1477227296
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 115
Get Book Here
Book Description
Queen Holandasia is extremely concerned about the poverty, gloominess, and oh so very dreary state of her kingdom, the so-called royal kingdom of Grottenville. All that is required is a marriage between her son, Prince William, and Princess Petunia of Petulasia, a wealthy kingdom with great tourist trade, rolling hills, and sunshine. But the prince is just not interested at all. One dark and stormy night, a mysterious girl turns up at the Grottenville palace doors. The very unimpressed royal butler, Snootenville, opens the palace doors to this bedraggled-looking stranger. Convinced the girl is a mere peasant taking a fat chance, he drags her to the royal kitchen. But finally, the girl is presented to the queen, where she announces that she is, in fact, Princess Clarabella of Muchmoridian, an even richer and more splendid kingdom than Petulasia. The queen does a quick calculation in her head and sums up the advantages of Prince William marrying this mysterious girl. Oh, how nice it would be to have new drapes, new ball gowns, a new fluffy white poodle, and satellite TV! But the queen is also afraid of being the laughingstock of all of Grottenville. Queen Holandasia proceeds to put Princess Clarabella through the most gruelling and absolutely ridiculous test of all time, the Ultimate Princess Authenticity Test, to prove the girl’s royal identity. Lots of lies and deceit, laughter and giggles, sighs and slurps fill the pages of The Princess and the Pinkie Nail. Have fun with the delightful, quirky, and sometimes absolutely awful Grottenville royalty, servants, and, of course, mysterious guest. And like all good stories, learn a moral or two and even some handy hints! A great entertaining read for young and old alike. Enjoy!
Author: Annemarie Elstner
Publisher: Author House
ISBN: 1481799657
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 135
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Book Description
The conniving yet quite stupid Queen Holandasia, her even sillier son Prince William, the intelligent and beautiful Princess Clarabella, Snootenville the royal and oh-so-sarcastic butler, and all the strange palace staff of Grottenville return in this second Grottenville book. Prince William and Princess Clarabella are officially engaged. The palace of Grottenville is in a buzz and a flurry, what with all the wedding plans and preparations. Queen Holandasia is insistent on a Hawaiian menu, tomato red drapes, and a pineapple wedding cake! Princess Clarabella is secretly wishing that her future mother-in-law would just disappear. To add to the buzz and flurry, Princess Clarabella's parents King Engelbert and Queen Bertha arrive at the door of Grottenville palace. Snootenville the butler is his usual sarcastic self but is secretly quite excited about the pending union, as the princess comes from a very wealthy kingdom, and this could mean great benefits to all the staff. Grottenville is still in severe economic decline, and a marriage between poor Prince William and rich Princess Clarabella will definitely fix all of that. Everyone is dreaming of new velvet drapes, soft cuddly slippers, and pots of steaming hot tea! But what strange illness has suddenly befallen Queen Holandasia? What are the strange eerie cries echoing down the dark dismal passages of Grottenville palace? Is the upcoming wedding cursed by some strange evil lurking in the palace hallways? Lots of surprises and snorts, hiccups and howls, and lies and laughter fill the pages of Beauty and the Beastly Wedding. Have fun with the delightful, quirky, and sometimes absolutely awful Grottenville royalty; servants; and, of course, our new arrivals, the not-so-easily convinced King Engelbert and his very trusting, loving wife Queen Bertha with her purple hair and excellent massage techniques. And like all good stories, learn a moral or two and even some brilliant handy hints! A very entertaining read for young and old alike. Enjoy!
Author: Lotus Rose
Publisher: Death Pout
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 101
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Book Description
A pony plagued by her past. Dust wants to become better girlfriend material so Machoponi will take her back. So she decides to go on a vision quest on Halloween, led by a rat spirit guide in a Nerf cactus costume. She eats some cactus and begins to hallucinate. Her journey is about to begin, but where will it take her? It’s like she is dust on the wind, or something. Warning: contains foul language, sexual situations, drug use and pony lesbianism. Keywords: twisted My Little Pony parody spoof comedy ebooks books The Poniworld Chronicles MachoPoni: A Prance With Death Mein Poni-Kampf: A Biography of the Leader of the Nazi Ponies My Brootal Poni: A Very Butch Poni Tale Dust in Your Eyes: An Erotic Poni Tale Mötley Hüerd, the Pony Glam Metal Band Dust on the Wind: Journey to Redemption Octopony How the Alien Pony Princess Fell in Love
Author: Cara Tanamachi
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1250842271
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 236
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Book Description
Most Anticipated Romance by Buzzfeed Cheerfully irreverent, bitingly funny, and filled with romantic charm, Cara Tanamachi's The Second You're Single is all about navigating the most romantic month of the year, and how love always seems to arrive when you least expect it. Freelance writer Sora Reid believes in inertia. She’s the odd one out in a close-knit family of go-getters, including her Japanese-American mom, who hints about her need to lose weight, and her soon-to-be married, overachieving younger sister, who needs her to have a date for the wedding, since a wedding party couples' dance with their Scottish great uncle Bob simply won't do. For Sora, minimal input, minimal expectations is the way to go. She’d rather stay at home with her insufferable neighbor and her adorable pitbull. The one thing that disrupts her inertia: an intense dislike for Valentine’s Day. What is it with the commercial love machine? Why do we pin our hopes on one romantic day, when staying home with a package of bacon and a bottle of tequila would be way better? Sora’s been betrayed and disappointed more than once and her heart is starting to feel like her Grandma Mitsuye’s antique Japanese ceramic bowl, with its many gold-filled cracks. When her pledge to stay single in February inspires readers to #gosolo, Sora has a responsibility to empower her readers. But relationships aren’t built to last, so it shouldn’t be that hard. Right? Enter Jack Mann. A muscle-bound baker who looks like he lifts logs on the weekends, Sora hasn’t thought of Jack since they were in elementary school together. When they see each other at the local grocery store and the attraction hits hard, Sora knows she has to shut it down, quick. She can’t #gosolo AND get the guy. She can’t let down her readers. And relationships always end, so why should Jack be any different–even though he’s confounding all her long-held expectations of love? “Riotous, whip-smart, and original. Read this happy-making book if you love yourself.” —Jayci Lee, Author of Booked on a Feeling
Author: Rachel Cohn
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1481455737
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336
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Book Description
From the coauthor of Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist comes “a slick and enjoyably glitzy read” (BCCB) that captures the struggles and glories of an ordinary teenage girl’s climb to celebrity. When fifteen-year-old Wonder Blake is plucked from her job at the Dairy Queen and given the chance to become a teen idol, it seems like a dream come true—even if it wasn’t her dream, but her older sister Lucky’s. Lucky was on her way to becoming a pop star when she died, and Wonder and her family are still trying to recover from their loss. Offered a recording contract, Wonder jumps at the chance to escape from a dead-end town, her fractured family, and worst of all, high school. Suddenly she has it all: a hot new look, a chart-busting hit single, a tour opening up for superstar Kayla. But stardom isn’t all glamour—it’s also lots of work. And maybe what Wonder really wants is as simple as a guy who likes her for herself. As Wonder rises through the pop-princess star-making machine, she also learns that there’s a price for fame—and that maybe being an ordinary teenage girl isn’t so bad after all.
Author: Tara Lush
Publisher: 8th Note Press
ISBN: 196179523X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 207
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Book Description
Solving murders, kissing criminology professors, and just the right amount of alligators combine in Swamp Princess, the cozy mystery + romance follow up to Gator Queen. Maggie Andrews is swamped—literally—as she tries to balance running her family's gator trapping business, "defining the relationship" with tattooed professor Jack Bianchi, and helping her twin sister Vera with her bookstore. When she's invited to speak at a conference about the dangers hunting for cryptids in gator-infested waters, she assumes it's a joke she doesn't have time for. But it's all too real; hundreds of Bigfoot fans are sure that their monster has migrated to the swamps of Florida. Against her better judgement, Maggie agrees to lead a group of them on a small expedition. And it's going well—until a cryptozoology influencer ends up dead. With her twin sister Vera dating the town's only homicide detective (and Maggie's own sparks still flying with criminology professor Jack), she has an in on solving murders. But navigating conspiracy theories, petty jealousies, and Bigfoot sightings make the investigation even more complicated than last time. Plus, she's gotta figure out - is Jack just along for the crime-solving ride and a summer fling, or are they playing for keeps?
Author: Mo ZiBai
Publisher: Funstory
ISBN: 1648578942
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 639
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Book Description
The work won the award for reading 2018 "Popular Works of the Year" by Miku! Other people marrying to a beautiful woman, while he marrying to a little girl, would definitely not. Others marry and raise as wives, he marry and raise as daughters. He was even more depressed because his achievements were illustrious and his name was renowned throughout the Nine Continents. The commoners called him Evil God and even the emperor would have to be slightly shorter if they saw him. However, his family's Concubine Xiao Wang dared to clap on the table and shout at him: If you don't listen, I won't hit you.
Author: Laura Sebastian
Publisher: Ember
ISBN: 1524767093
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 465
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Book Description
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! "Made for fans of Victoria Aveyard and Sabaa Tahir" (Bustle), Ash Princess is an epic new fantasy about a throne cruelly stolen and a girl who must fight to take it back for her people. Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Fire Queen, was murdered before her eyes. On that day, the kaiser took Theodosia's family, her land, and her name. Theo was crowned Ash Princess--a title of shame to bear in her new life as a prisoner. For ten years Theo has been a captive in her own palace. She's endured the relentless abuse and ridicule of the kaiser and his court. She is powerless, surviving in her new world only by burying the girl she was deep inside. Then, one night, the kaiser forces her to do the unthinkable. With blood on her hands and all hope of reclaiming her throne lost, she realizes that surviving is no longer enough. But she does have a weapon: Her mind is sharper than any sword. And power isn't always won on the battlefield. For ten years the Ash Princess has seen her land pillaged and her people enslaved. That all ends here. And don't miss the thrilling sequel, Lady Smoke! Praise for Ash Princess, Book 1 in the Ash Princess Series: "A darkly enchanting page-turner you won't be able to put down."--Bustle "A smart, feminist twist on a traditional tale of a fallen heroine, with plenty of court intrigue, love, and lies to sweeten the deal. Good luck putting this one down." --Virginia Boecker, author of The Witch Hunter series "This searing page-turner is a compelling examination of the complexities of both evil and resistance."--Sarah Porter, author of Vassa in the Night "A dark and spellbinding epic." --Sara Holland, New York Times bestselling author of Everless
Author: Zheng YueChuJiu
Publisher: Funstory
ISBN: 163645156X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 834
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Book Description
She was the haggard eldest miss of the Prime Minister's Estate. Her beauty was gorgeous, but she was a good-for-nothing. His death was greeted with a powerful soul. Beast taming, pill concocting, and male sex treatment were all very easy to deal with. He was the well-known retarded emperor of the West Yuan Kingdom. She was forced to marry him, but on her wedding night, she was almost eaten clean. It turned out that the wolf was pretending to be a sheep, because it had a black stomach. It had to be a pitiful appearance. She tried to resist, but she didn't know who would fall.
Author: Ann Mayburn
Publisher: Ann Mayburn
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 322
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Book Description
Tyler has devoted his life to protecting people, first as a police officer and now as the head of Club Wicked’s security. So when the beautiful Nora needs his help, he quickly comes to her rescue. His interest in her is further piqued when he finds out sweet, shy, and funny Nora has a guest application pending at Club Wicked. But when he reads her background check, he realizes his princess has been badly hurt, and will need a caring Daddy to help her heal. After enduring two years of constant mental abuse from her ex-boyfriend/Dom, Nora finally flees her hometown in Oklahoma for the sunny beaches of southern California. She hopes to start a new life, one free of dread and anxiety; but it seems her past just won’t let go. Her relationship fears make it impossible for her to see strange men as anything other than a threat, so she avoids dating like the plague. Until she meets Tyler. He’s the Daddy every princess dreams of, and Nora soon finds herself wondering why such an amazing man would want a damaged woman like herself. Tyler will have to convince Nora to trust him before it’s too late, or risk losing his princess to her demons forever.
