The Handsome Squirm

The Handsome Squirm PDF Author: Carlton Mellick, III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050261
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 158

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Book Description
A tale of marriage, child-rearing, and vaginas that eat people. A man is arrested in the middle of the night. He doesn't know why. He doesn't remember committing any crime. The cops drop him off in a small community in the middle of the woods where a wedding is about to begin. It is his wedding. He doesn't recognize the bride, but she's allegedly pregnant with his children. All twelve of them. And by law, he must marry her or go to prison for the next two decades. But who is this strange woman he is to spend the rest of his life with? She doesn't seem quite human. Her expressions are cold and emotionless. Her movements are like that of a spider. She is Usagi, a creature who feeds on her human mate during pregnancy. Now this man has to find a way to terminate the marriage if he is to survive. But it's not going to be easy. His friends, his family, and his country are all against him. They believe a father should be willing to give up anything for the sake of his family. Even his life. Like Franz Kafka's "The Trial" meets an erotic body horror version of "The Blob," this darkly absurd tale is classic Mellick.

The Handsome Squirm

The Handsome Squirm PDF Author: Carlton Mellick, III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050261
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 158

Get Book Here

Book Description
A tale of marriage, child-rearing, and vaginas that eat people. A man is arrested in the middle of the night. He doesn't know why. He doesn't remember committing any crime. The cops drop him off in a small community in the middle of the woods where a wedding is about to begin. It is his wedding. He doesn't recognize the bride, but she's allegedly pregnant with his children. All twelve of them. And by law, he must marry her or go to prison for the next two decades. But who is this strange woman he is to spend the rest of his life with? She doesn't seem quite human. Her expressions are cold and emotionless. Her movements are like that of a spider. She is Usagi, a creature who feeds on her human mate during pregnancy. Now this man has to find a way to terminate the marriage if he is to survive. But it's not going to be easy. His friends, his family, and his country are all against him. They believe a father should be willing to give up anything for the sake of his family. Even his life. Like Franz Kafka's "The Trial" meets an erotic body horror version of "The Blob," this darkly absurd tale is classic Mellick.

Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)

Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition) PDF Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
ISBN: 9781621052180
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 296

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Book Description
When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.

Louisiana's Way Home

Louisiana's Way Home PDF Author: Kate DiCamillo
Publisher: Candlewick Press
ISBN: 1536204773
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 127

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Book Description
From two-time Newbery Medalist Kate DiCamillo comes a story of discovering who you are — and deciding who you want to be. When Louisiana Elefante’s granny wakes her up in the middle of the night to tell her that the day of reckoning has arrived and they have to leave home immediately, Louisiana isn’t overly worried. After all, Granny has many middle-of-the-night ideas. But this time, things are different. This time, Granny intends for them never to return. Separated from her best friends, Raymie and Beverly, Louisiana struggles to oppose the winds of fate (and Granny) and find a way home. But as Louisiana’s life becomes entwined with the lives of the people of a small Georgia town — including a surly motel owner, a walrus-like minister, and a mysterious boy with a crow on his shoulder — she starts to worry that she is destined only for good-byes. (Which could be due to the curse on Louisiana's and Granny’s heads. But that is a story for another time.) Called “one of DiCamillo’s most singular and arresting creations” by The New York Times Book Review, the heartbreakingly irresistible Louisiana Elefante was introduced to readers in Raymie Nightingale — and now, with humor and tenderness, Kate DiCamillo returns to tell her story.

Tell Me Lies

Tell Me Lies PDF Author: Carola Lovering
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501169661
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 384

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Book Description
Now an original series on Hulu! Catch up on Season 1...Season 2 streaming now! “A twisted modern love story” (Parade), Tell Me Lies is a sexy, thrilling novel about that one person who still haunts you—the other one. The wrong one. The one you couldn’t let go of. The one you’ll never forget. Lucy Albright is far from her Long Island upbringing when she arrives on the campus of her small California college and happy to be hundreds of miles from her mother—whom she’s never forgiven for an act of betrayal in her early teen years. Quickly grasping at her fresh start, Lucy embraces college life and all it has to offer. And then she meets Stephen DeMarco. Charming. Attractive. Complicated. Devastating. Confident and cocksure, Stephen sees something in Lucy that no one else has, and she’s quickly seduced by this vision of herself, and the sense of possibility that his attention brings her. Meanwhile, Stephen is determined to forget an incident buried in his past that, if exposed, could ruin him, and his single-minded drive for success extends to winning, and keeping, Lucy’s heart. Lucy knows there’s something about Stephen that isn’t to be trusted. Stephen knows Lucy can’t tear herself away. And their addicting entanglement will have consequences they never could have imagined. Alternating between Lucy’s and Stephen’s voices, Tell Me Lies follows their connection through college and post-college life in New York City. “Readers will be enraptured” (Booklist) by the “unforgettable beauties in this very sexy story” (Kirkus Review). With the psychological insight and biting wit of Luckiest Girl Alive, and the yearning ambitions and desires of Sweetbitter, this keenly intelligent and supremely resonant novel chronicles the exhilaration and dilemmas of young adulthood and the difficulty of letting go—even when you know you should.

Tumor Fruit

Tumor Fruit PDF Author: Carlton III Mellick
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050452
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 310

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Book Description
"Eight desperate castaways find themselves stranded on a mysterious deserted island. They are surrounded by poisonous blue plants and an ocean made of acid. Ravenous creatures lurk in the toxic jungle. The ghostly sound of crying babies can be heard on the wind. Once they realize the rescue ships aren't coming, the eight castaways must band together in order to survive in this inhospitable environment. But survival might not be possible. The air they breathe is lethal, there is no shelter from the elements, and the only food they have to consume is the colorful squid-shaped tumors that grow from a mentally disturbed woman's body."--Page 4 of cover.

If We're Not Married by Thirty

If We're Not Married by Thirty PDF Author: Anna Bell
Publisher: Bonnier Zaffre Ltd.
ISBN: 1785764799
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 357

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Book Description
A brilliantly funny, romantic and effervescent read, If We're Not Married by Thirty is the irresistible new novel from the bestselling author of The Bucket List to Mend a Broken Heart and It Started With a Tweet. For fans of Lindsey Kelk and Sophie Kinsella. Lydia's not exactly #LivingHerBestLife. She never imagined she'd be here at thirty - newly single, a job that's going nowhere and her friends all winning at life when she's still barely taking part. So she jumps at the chance of a free holiday and jets off to sunny Spain. Then, out of the blue, she bumps into her childhood friend, the handsome and charming Danny Whittaker. She's always had a crush on him and they soon enter into a passionate holiday romance. But this relationship could be more than just a fling. Years ago they made a pact that if they were still single when they turned thirty they would get married. But noone really follows through on these pacts . . . right? Could Lydia's back-up man really be her happy ever after? Praise for Anna Bell: 'The perfect laugh-out-loud love story' Louise Pentland 'Smart, witty and completely fresh' Cathy Bramley 'Romantic and refreshing' Mhairi McFarlane

Sala's Gift

Sala's Gift PDF Author: Ann Kirschner
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416542582
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
"Do you know why I write so much? Because as long as you read, we are together." -- Raizel Garncarz (Sala's sister), April 24, 1941 Few family secrets have the power both to transform lives and to fill in crucial gaps in world history. But then, few families have a mother and a daughter quite like Sala and Ann Kirschner. For nearly fifty years, Sala kept a secret: She had survived five years as a slave in seven different Nazi work camps. Living in America after the war, she kept from her children any hint of her epic, inhuman odyssey. She held on to more than 350 letters, photographs, and a diary without ever mentioning them. Only in 1991, on the eve of heart surgery, did she suddenly present them to Ann and offer to answer any questions her daughter wished to ask. It was a life-changing moment for her scholar, writer, and entrepreneur daughter. We know surprisingly little about the vast network of Nazi labor camps, where imprisoned Jews built railroads and highways, churned out munitions and materiel, and otherwise supported the limitless needs of the Nazi war machine. This book gives us an insider's account: Conditions were brutal. Death rates were high. As the war dragged on and the Nazis retreated, inmates were force-marched across hundreds of miles, or packed into cattle cars for grim journeys from one camp to another. When Sala first reported to a camp in Geppersdorf, Poland, at the age of sixteen, she thought it would be for six weeks. Five years later, she was still at a labor camp and only she and two of her sisters remained alive of an extended family of fifty. In the first years of the conflict, Sala was aided by her close friend Ala Gertner, who would later lead an uprising at Auschwitz and be executed just weeks before the liberation of that camp. Sala was also helped by other key friends. Yet above all, she survived thanks to the slender threads of support expressed in the letters of her friends and family. She kept them at great personal risk, and it is astonishing that she was able to receive as many as she did. With their heartwrenching expressions of longing, love, and hope, they offer a testament to the human spirit, an indomitable impulse even in the face of monstrosity. Sala's Gift is a rare book, a gift from Ann to her mother, and a great gift from both women to the world.

Short-straw Bride

Short-straw Bride PDF Author: Karen Witemeyer
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781410451569
Category : Historical fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
No one steps on Archer land. Not if they value their life. Yet when Travis Archer confronts a female trespasser with the same vivid blue eyes as the courageous young girl he once aided, he can't bring himself to send her away.

A Weekend with Mr Darcy (Austen Addicts)

A Weekend with Mr Darcy (Austen Addicts) PDF Author: Victoria Connelly
Publisher: HarperCollins UK
ISBN: 000737335X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 26

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Book Description
‘What a story!!! I loved it all .... The characters, the settings, I felt like I was just there seeing it all take place. Wonderful!’ Reader review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Armadillo Fists

Armadillo Fists PDF Author: Carlton Mellick, III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050155
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 168

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Book Description
A weird-as-hell gangster story set in a world where people drive giant mechanical dinosaurs instead of cars. Her name is Psycho June Howard, aka Armadillo Fists, a woman who replaced both of her hands with living armadillos. She was once the most bloodthirsty fighter in the world of illegal underground boxing. But now she is on the run from a group of psychotic gangsters who believe she's responsible for the death of their boss. With the help of a stegosaurus driver named Mr. Fast Awesome-who thinks he is God's gift to women even though he doesn't have any arms or legs-June must do whatever it takes to escape her pursuers, even if she has to kill each and every one of them in the process. Strange, engaging characters, breakneck pacing, and jam-packed with more brilliantly weird concepts than you'll know what to do with-this is bizarro cult author Carlton Mellick III at his best.