Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781933929859
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
A man tries to prove that are cannibalistic candy people.
The Cannibals of Candyland
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781933929859
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
A man tries to prove that are cannibalistic candy people.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781933929859
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
A man tries to prove that are cannibalistic candy people.
Satan Burger (15th Anniversary Edition)
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
ISBN: 9781621052180
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 296
Book Description
When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
Publisher: Eraserhead Press
ISBN: 9781621052180
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 296
Book Description
When Satan Burger was first being passed around among teenage punks and fans of weird art and film, there was nothing else like it. A book of rebellious spirit that simplistically captured the postmodern malaise of a culture obsessed with consumerism. It quickly gained an underground following, was transcribed by fans and bootlegged online, was translated into Russian and made its way around the world attracting the attention of readers bored with typical mainstream fare. Combining a satirical wit and style on par with legendary humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Russell Edson with the crazy punk ethos of cult film directors such as Terry Gilliam, David Lynch, and Takashi Miike, this was a book overflowing with so many new ideas and absurd philosophies that it not only launched the career of underground author Carlton Mellick III, but inspired an entire literary movement. For the fifteenth anniversary of the release of this Bizarro Fiction classic, Eraserhead Press is thrilled to present this special hardcover edition, featuring an introduction by splatterpunk legend John Skipp, illustrations by Ryan Ward, and a new preface by the author. Satan Burger explores a new kind of apocalypse. Not an apocalypse caused by disease or nuclear war, but an apocalypse of boredom. A plague of monotony has spread across the countryside, sucking all passion and inspiration out of everyone over the age of twenty-five, leaving only the disenfranchised youth to fend for themselves in a world crumbling around them. Featuring a narrator who sees his body from a third-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive and running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, a race of women who feed on male orgasms, and a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn't want them anymore.
Cuddly Holocaust
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050728
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Teddy bears, dollies, and little green soldiers - they've all had enough of you. They're sick of being treated like playthings for spoiled little brats. They have no rights, no property, no hope for a future of any kind. You've left them with no other option - in order to be free, they must exterminate the human race. Julie is a human girl undergoing reconstructive surgery in order to become a stuffed animal. Her plan: to infiltrate enemy lines in order to save her family from the toy death camps. But when an army of plushy soldiers invade the underground bunker where she has taken refuge, Julie will be forced to move forward with her plan despite her transformation being not entirely complete."--Page 4 of cover
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050728
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Teddy bears, dollies, and little green soldiers - they've all had enough of you. They're sick of being treated like playthings for spoiled little brats. They have no rights, no property, no hope for a future of any kind. You've left them with no other option - in order to be free, they must exterminate the human race. Julie is a human girl undergoing reconstructive surgery in order to become a stuffed animal. Her plan: to infiltrate enemy lines in order to save her family from the toy death camps. But when an army of plushy soldiers invade the underground bunker where she has taken refuge, Julie will be forced to move forward with her plan despite her transformation being not entirely complete."--Page 4 of cover
Hammer Wives
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050735
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Fish-eyed mutants, oceans of insects, and flesh-eating women with hammers for heads. Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author Carlton Mellick III has been pumping out dozens of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books you've probably never heard of... even though you definitely should. Hammer Wives collects six of his most popular novelettes and short stories, including: SIMPLE MACHINES A man discovers that his body is actually a machine run by dozens of miniature clones of himself. RED WORLD A recovering junky must save his 8-year-old brother from a life of prostitution in a surreal version of New York City... a place where street kids mutate into fish-like creatures, the homeless stilt-walk through oceans of insects, and the only colors left visible to the human eye are shades of red. HAMMER WIVES A young man inherits ten eternally youthful wives from an estranged uncle he never knew he had... which wouldn't have been such a bad thing if they didn't have giant hammers for heads or a tendency of bludgeoning people to death for fun, food, or sexual pleasure. LEMON KNIVES 'N' COCKROACHES Cockroach-like children survive the zombie apocalypse by hiding between the walls of on old school building. WAR PIG In a steam-powered underworld, a bloodthirsty pig-man boxer will sacrifice everything to prevent his son from following in his footsteps. THE MAN WITH THE STYROFOAM BRAIN The recently departed reflect on the stupid reasons why they sold their souls to the devil.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050735
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Fish-eyed mutants, oceans of insects, and flesh-eating women with hammers for heads. Like a real world Kilgore Trout, cult author Carlton Mellick III has been pumping out dozens of the weirdest, trashiest, most imaginative books you've probably never heard of... even though you definitely should. Hammer Wives collects six of his most popular novelettes and short stories, including: SIMPLE MACHINES A man discovers that his body is actually a machine run by dozens of miniature clones of himself. RED WORLD A recovering junky must save his 8-year-old brother from a life of prostitution in a surreal version of New York City... a place where street kids mutate into fish-like creatures, the homeless stilt-walk through oceans of insects, and the only colors left visible to the human eye are shades of red. HAMMER WIVES A young man inherits ten eternally youthful wives from an estranged uncle he never knew he had... which wouldn't have been such a bad thing if they didn't have giant hammers for heads or a tendency of bludgeoning people to death for fun, food, or sexual pleasure. LEMON KNIVES 'N' COCKROACHES Cockroach-like children survive the zombie apocalypse by hiding between the walls of on old school building. WAR PIG In a steam-powered underworld, a bloodthirsty pig-man boxer will sacrifice everything to prevent his son from following in his footsteps. THE MAN WITH THE STYROFOAM BRAIN The recently departed reflect on the stupid reasons why they sold their souls to the devil.
Village of the Mermaids
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050889
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren't able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet. The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these "feeder humans" are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids' new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea."--Page 4 of cover.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050889
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Mermaids are protected by the government under the Endangered Species Act, which means you aren't able to kill them even in self-defense. This is especially problematic if you happen to live in the isolated fishing village of Siren Cove, where there exists a healthy population of mermaids in the surrounding waters that view you as the main source of protein in their diet. The only thing keeping these ravenous sea women at bay is the equally-dangerous supply of human livestock known as Food People. Normally, these "feeder humans" are enough to keep the mermaid population happy and well-fed. But in Siren Cove, the mermaids are avoiding the human livestock and have returned to hunting the frightened local fishermen. It is up to Doctor Black, an eccentric representative of the Food People Corporation, to investigate the matter and hopefully find a way to correct the mermaids' new eating patterns before the remaining villagers end up as fish food. But the more he digs, the more he discovers there are far stranger and more dangerous things than mermaids hidden in this ancient village by the sea."--Page 4 of cover.
Christmas on Crack
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781936383382
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
It's the dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass!
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781936383382
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
It's the dark and seedy side of Christmas that you didn't know about. A Christmas underworld where Santa gets dominated by peppermint women and Frosty is a transvestite stripper. There's elf sluts, toy orgies, and giant flesh-eating Christmas crabs that shoot lasers. That's right. Lasers. It's the holiday season, bitches, so strap on your sugar plum ball gag, bend yourself over the Yule log, and get ready for Kris Kringle to shove some Christmas cheer up your ass!
Zombies and Shit
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781936383191
Category : Punk culture
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boraded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there's only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight off the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other."--Page 4 of cover.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781936383191
Category : Punk culture
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Twenty people wake to find themselves in a boraded-up building in the middle of the zombie wasteland. They soon realize they have been chosen as contestants on a popular reality show called Zombie Survival. Each contestant is given a backpack of supplies and a unique weapon. Their goal: be the first to make it through the zombie-plagued city to the pick-up zone alive. But because there's only one seat available on the helicopter, the contestants not only have to fight off the hordes of the living dead, they must also fight each other."--Page 4 of cover.
As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621051749
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Bizarro fiction's most prolific author takes the serial killer genre to a whole new level. Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It's the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel-a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana's soul. He makes her a deal. If she promises to never kill another human being again, he'll allow her to kill him as much as she wants, using whichever methods she desires. He would become her eternal murder victim. At first, this seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana. She doesn't have to worry about hunting down her prey or getting caught by the police. But there are only so many ways you can kill a man before the process gets mechanical and boring. When she starts killing other men behind Gabriel's back, he becomes insanely jealous. She tries to break off the relationship with him, but Gabriel refuses to let her go. He has become obsessed. Now she has to deal with a crazed stalker who is infatuated with being killed by her, a man who knows all her secrets, who cannot be killed, who cannot be turned in to the police, who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. And no matter how hard she tries, there's nothing Oksana can do to get rid of him. As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer's affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Apeshit and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621051749
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Bizarro fiction's most prolific author takes the serial killer genre to a whole new level. Oksana Maslovskiy is an award-winning artist, an internationally adored fashion model, and one of the most infamous serial killers this country has ever known. She enjoys murdering pretty young men with a nine-inch blade, cutting them open and admiring their delicate insides. It's the only way she knows how to be intimate with another human being. But one day she meets a victim who cannot be killed. His name is Gabriel-a mysterious immortal being with a deep desire to save Oksana's soul. He makes her a deal. If she promises to never kill another human being again, he'll allow her to kill him as much as she wants, using whichever methods she desires. He would become her eternal murder victim. At first, this seems like the perfect relationship for Oksana. She doesn't have to worry about hunting down her prey or getting caught by the police. But there are only so many ways you can kill a man before the process gets mechanical and boring. When she starts killing other men behind Gabriel's back, he becomes insanely jealous. She tries to break off the relationship with him, but Gabriel refuses to let her go. He has become obsessed. Now she has to deal with a crazed stalker who is infatuated with being killed by her, a man who knows all her secrets, who cannot be killed, who cannot be turned in to the police, who is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants. And no matter how hard she tries, there's nothing Oksana can do to get rid of him. As She Stabbed Me Gently in the Face is a metaphor for a bad relationship, told in the form of a sociopathic killer's affair with an even more sociopathic victim. From the mind of Wonderland Book Award winner Carlton Mellick III, author of Apeshit and Quicksand House, comes one of the strangest and most gruesome love stories ever put to print.
Razor Wire Pubic Hair
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050353
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III. In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don't quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese "guro" porn.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621050353
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
A surreal sexual nightmare by cult bizarro author Carlton Mellick III. In a dark future where males have become extinct, humans are forced to breed with factory-manufactured living fuck-toys that possess an abundance of both male and female sex organs. One such creature is adopted by a warrior dominatrix named Celsia, who is trying to have a baby. But once she takes her new merchandise home, things don't quite go as planned. Wild tribes of rapists, women with multiple vaginas covering their bodies, sex tournaments, erotic mutilation, and a giant vagina possessing the secrets of the universe, this is one ugly perverted hell of a world. Told in Mellick's early schizophrenic prose style, Razor Wire Pubic Hair is like postmodern minimalistic art mixed with Japanese "guro" porn.
Clusterfuck
Author: Carlton Mellick Iii
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621051176
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Set in the same woods as Mellick's splatterpunk satire Apeshit, Clusterfuck follows Trent Chesterton, alpha bro, who has come up with what he thinks is a flawless plan to get laid. He invites three hot chicks and his three best bros on a weekend of extreme cave diving in a remote area known as Turtle Mountain, hoping to impress the ladies with his expert caving skills. But things don't quite go as Trent planned. For starters, only one of the three chicks turns out to be remotely hot and she has no interest in him for some inexplicable reason. Then he ends up looking like a total dumbass when everyone learns he's never actually gone caving in his entire life. And to top it all off, he's the one to get blamed once they find themselves lost and trapped deep underground with no way to turn back and no possible chance of rescue. What's a bro to do? Sure he could win some points if he actually tried to save the ladies from the family of unkillable subterranean cannibal mutants hunting them for their flesh, but fuck that. No slam piece is worth that amount of effort. He'd much rather just use them as bait so that he can save himself"--Page 4 of cover.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781621051176
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
"Set in the same woods as Mellick's splatterpunk satire Apeshit, Clusterfuck follows Trent Chesterton, alpha bro, who has come up with what he thinks is a flawless plan to get laid. He invites three hot chicks and his three best bros on a weekend of extreme cave diving in a remote area known as Turtle Mountain, hoping to impress the ladies with his expert caving skills. But things don't quite go as Trent planned. For starters, only one of the three chicks turns out to be remotely hot and she has no interest in him for some inexplicable reason. Then he ends up looking like a total dumbass when everyone learns he's never actually gone caving in his entire life. And to top it all off, he's the one to get blamed once they find themselves lost and trapped deep underground with no way to turn back and no possible chance of rescue. What's a bro to do? Sure he could win some points if he actually tried to save the ladies from the family of unkillable subterranean cannibal mutants hunting them for their flesh, but fuck that. No slam piece is worth that amount of effort. He'd much rather just use them as bait so that he can save himself"--Page 4 of cover.