Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
ISBN: 0385419287
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
ISBN: 0307764621
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips, spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous and infamous figures past and present -- a complete course in anti-eloquence by the foot-in-mouth champions of all time.
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307800954
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 231
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Book Description
The creme de la crud of screen history "War! War! That's all you think of, Dick Plantagenet! You burner! You pillager!" --Virginia Mayo as Lady Edith to George Sanders in King Richard and the Crusaders (1954) "Visits? That would indicate visitors." --Army captain learning of alien visits in Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) "When I'm sitting here with you, I don't even think about the slime people." --Hero to heroine in The Slime People (1962) "Suck the coffin mushroom now." --The Ultimate Vampire (1991) "This is bad." --Leonardo DiCaprio as the you-know-what hits the you-know-what in Titanic (1997)
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0671040537
Category : Political science
Languages : en
Pages : 292
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Book Description
...A nonpartisan hall of shame featuring the idiotic utterances, ridiculous slogans, mixed metaphors, and lame excuses that have fallen from the mouths of our fearless leaders around the world, and from the present and past (because stupidity knows no age).
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307417611
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 305
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Book Description
A hilarious collection of lists, statistics, news items, quotations, and facts detailing stupid acts of Americans from all walks of life—by the authors of the bestselling The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Everyone knows that America is “the land of the free and the home of the brave,” but sometimes that means we’re free to be as bravely stupid as we want! In Unusually Stupid Americans, Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras assemble choice bits of stupidity, U.S.A.-style, including •the top seriously flawed American advertising moments, including Pacific Airlines’ brilliant “You’re scared of flying? So’s our pilot!” ad campaign, which led the airline to bankruptcy within two months of the campaign’s inception •the Martin Luther King, Jr., celebration in Florida, where a plaque was un-veiled that was intended to honor the actor James Earl Jones but instead read, “Thank you James Earl Ray for keeping the dream alive” (an unfortunate slip-up, as James Earl Ray was King’s assassin) •and much more!
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
ISBN: 0307547612
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 209
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Book Description
A mother, answering her phone, hears her daughter shrieking and screaming. Terrified, she calls the police who arrive at the daughter's house, batter down the door--and find the daughter, nude, in her bedroom having sex with her boyfriend. Apparently her toe hit the automatic dial button for her mother's number on the bedroom phone. A man, swimming in a Florida pool, sees the pool intake pipe and gets a unique idea. Hours later, after police, firemen, and EMT personnel are called, the man is taken to an area hospital--along with ten feet of pipe attached to a very swollen part of his anatomy. A newly married couple in Turin set up a video camera in their bedroom to tape all of their honeymoon activities. But somehow certain crucial wires got crossed. While they were enjoying their honeymoon sex, so was everyone else in their apartment building: the couple had accidentally connected their camera to the building's cable television system. In the national bestseller The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said Ross and Kathryn Petras immortalized idiotic utterances by public figures and average citizens alike. The 176 Stupidest Things Ever Done chronicled fiascoes, senseless stunts, and utterly asinine activities from around the globe. Now, Stupid Sex takes on the subject that no one can resist. It's about people who get caught in the act . . . and about people who get caught in the trash disposal. Stupid Sex tells two hundred true stories of extremely dumb (and very funny) sex acts arranged under headings ranging from Airplane Sex to Zoo Bathroom Sex.
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 0679776222
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 145
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Book Description
Writing very bad poetry requires talent. It helps to have a wooden ear for words, a penchant for sinking into a mire of sentimentality, and an enviable confidence that allows one to write despite absolutely appalling incompetence. The 131 poems collected in this first-of-its-kind anthology are so glaringly awful that they embody a kind of genius. From Fred Emerson Brooks' "The Stuttering Lover" to Matthew Green's "The Spleen" to Georgia Bailey Parrington's misguided "An Elegy to a Dissected Puppy", they mangle meter, run rampant over rhyme, and bludgeon us into insensibility with their grandiosity, anticlimax, and malapropism. Guaranteed to move even the most stoic reader to tears (of laughter), Very Bad Poetry is sure to become a favorite of the poetically inclined (and disinclined).
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Main Street Books
ISBN: 9780385483414
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 212
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Book Description
From the authors of The 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said comes a sidesplitting collection of inane incidents, senseless stunts, farcical feats, and utterly asinine activities from thoughout history and around the globe. A nonstop barrage of belly laughs, this comic compendium offers conclusive proof that actions speak louder--and funnier--than words.
Author: Kathryn Petras
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0307498492
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274
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Book Description
The Greeks honored Zeus, the Romans revered Juno, but modern civilization worships a different sort of god: Celebrity. Face it, we follow the stars’ every move, fashion choice, and deliciously dishy affairs. Now Kathryn Petras and Ross Petras, authors of Unusually Stupid Americans, pull the demanding divas, screwball stars, and celebu-twits off their pedestals–and prove it doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to become famous. Cases in point: • Courtney Love misses an important court date relating to “possession of a controlled substance” because she can’t find a professional bodyguard at the last minute. • Mariah Carey’s entourage includes a skirt-from-touching-floor specialist, a towel hand-off person, and a professional drink holder/lifter. • Savvy traveler Paris Hilton concludes that all of Europe is, “like, French.” • Mensa candidate and rocker Tommy Lee is pretty sure that Winston Churchill was president during the Civil War, that the numeric equivalent of pi is “the two-equals-MC-squared thing,” and that an isosceles triangle is “somewhere in Bermuda.” Feuds, faith, family, money, sex, tantrums, travel–no star-studded stone is left unturned. Filled with jaw-dropping anecdotes, quirky quotes, and special stupid-celebrity awards, Unusually Stupid Celebrities provides a red-faced glimpse of the red carpet.
Author: Ross Petras
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1984856383
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 194
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Book Description
A compendium of 100 words and phrases smart people use--even if they only kinda sorta (secretly don't) know what they mean--with pithy definitions and fascinating etymologies to solidify their meanings. Your boss makes a joke about Schrodinger's cat--which is something you've heard of but you're a little vague about what exactly happened (or didn't happen) with that cat. Or you're reading a New Yorker article that explains that "Solecism slipped into solipsism into full-blown narcissistic project." An excellent point . . . if you're sure what "solecism" means . . . or, for that matter, "solipsism." Language gurus Ross Petras and Kathryn Petras to the rescue! In the breezy and entertaining yet informative style of their New York Times bestseller You're Saying It Wrong, they give you a brief rundown on words smart people should know--from the worlds of science and the arts to philosophy, and from broader topics like quantum physics and ontology to more specific ones like Plato's cave and trompe l'oeil. They cover the Latin phrases we hear and read (prima facie, sui generis, and the like) as well as those that have entered our vocabularies from other languages (bildungsroman, sturm und drang). These are the words that, if you were asked directly, "What does this mean?" you might hem and haw and try to change the subject. After reading this book, you won't have to.
