Florida Roadkill

Florida Roadkill PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061833029
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 397

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Book Description
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s. In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!

Florida Roadkill

Florida Roadkill PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061833029
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 397

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Book Description
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s. In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!

Tropic of Stupid

Tropic of Stupid PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062967525
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 368

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Book Description
Serge A. Storms embarks on a tour to meet his long-lost relatives in this latest madcap entry in the bestselling series from Florida’s “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey. Devoted Floridaphile Serge Storms is a lover of history, so he’s decided to investigate his own using one of those DNA services from late-night TV. Excited to construct a family tree, he and Coleman hit the road to meet his kin. Along the way, he plans to introduce Coleman to the Sunshine State’s beautiful parks where he can brush up on his flora, fauna, and wildlife, and more importantly, collect the missing stamps for his park passport book. But as the old saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far . . . Serge is thrilled to discover he may be related to a notorious serial killer who’s terrorized the state for twenty years and never been caught. Which one of his newfound relatives will be the one to help him hunt down this deranged maniac? Serge doesn’t know that a dogged investigator from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement is also hot on the trail. Then Serge meets a park ranger who’s also longing to make a family re-connection. But all is not as it appears on the surface, and Serge’s newfound friendship in the mysterious swamps of Florida may lead to deadly results. Finding his own relatives has made Serge understand the importance of family. Of course he’ll do anything to help . . .

Naked Came the Florida Man

Naked Came the Florida Man PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062795953
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

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Book Description
"Can it still be hurricane season? Must be, because here come Serge A. Storms and his perpetually stoned bro, Coleman, in Tim Dorsey’s gonzo crime caper.” –The New York Times Book Review The “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey returns with an insanely entertaining tale in which the inimitable Serge A. Storms sees dead people and investigates a creepy urban myth that may be all too real. Though another devastating hurricane is raking Florida, its awesome power can’t deter the Sunshine State’s most loyal son, Serge A. Storms, from his latest scenic road trip: a cemetery tour. With his best bro Coleman riding shotgun, Serge hits the highway in his gold ’69 Plymouth Satellite, putting pedal to the metal on a grand tour of the past. Beginning in Key West, the sunshine boys’ odyssey includes a forgotten mass grave in Palm Beach County holding the remains of African Americans killed by the Great Hurricane of 1928, and the resting place of one world-famous television dolphin (RIP Flipper) from the 1960s. But one deadland—a haunted old sugar field—holds more than just the bones of those who’ve passed. For years, local children have whispered about a boogeyman hiding among the stalks. Could it be the same maniac known as Naked Florida Man, who’s been raising hell all over the place? There are few things Serge loves more than solving a good mystery and bestowing justice on miscreants who sully his beloved home’s good name. With his partner Bong Man, Florida’s psycho superhero will find the truth in this hilariously violent delight—packed with history, lore, and plenty of motel antics—from the insanely ingenious Tim Dorsey.

Hurricane Punch LP

Hurricane Punch LP PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006123317X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 514

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Book Description
Welcome to another typical summer in Florida, the season of the storms. Serge storms. That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance. And not a weirdness-laced moment too soon. His cherished home state is about to take a beating, and from far more than the way-too-routine conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. Bodies have begun turning up at a disturbing rate, even for Florida, and it looks like a brutal serial killer is on the loose, which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities and he vows to stop at nothing in his juggernaut to make All Things Right . . . except if he gets bored or distracted by a cool souvenir or . . . or a . . . whatever. But his path won't be obstacle free. Agent Mahoney has picked up the scent. The obsessive criminal profiler—just released from a mental hospital where he'd been sent for getting too deep inside Serge's head—is convinced there is no second killer. Serge's personality is simply splitting from decades of burning with incandescent zest for everything under the sun. Then there's Coleman, whose triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging just might derail the mission more than the entire police community put together. The pace picks up. Winds howl, TV reporters fly around the beach, the Party Parrot parties on, and questions mount: Who's stalking Tampa Bay's most sensitive journalist? Did Tom Cruise go too easy on Matt Lauer? Do multiple orgasms improve storm tracking? Why is the feeding-tube guy so quiet? Will Molly ruin our antihero's dreams of playing the electric guitar better than Clapton? . . . All of which ultimately leads to the most pressing question on everyone's new-millennium lips: What would Serge do?

Cadillac Beach

Cadillac Beach PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060556943
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 402

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Book Description
And busting out of Chattahoochee State Hospital ... without his meds! The thrill-killing Floridaphile needs to get to the bottom of his bookie grandad's bizarre 1964 death -- not to mention launch "Serge & Lenny's Florida Experience," the new Miami specialty tour venture he's cooked up with his best brain-dead druggie-buddy. It's all good. For Serge A. Storms, anyway. Not so much for anyone else.

Pineapple Grenade

Pineapple Grenade PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062100734
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 411

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Book Description
“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal “I guarantee Dorsey will never win the Nobel Prize for Literature—he’s far too funny.” —Richmond Times-Dispatch “If you’ve never read Dorsey, you need to start…You won’t be disappointed.” —Miami Herald Gloriously unrepentant Florida serial killer Serge Storms is back—and he’s finagled his way into becoming a secret agent in Miami—in another outrageous crime comedy from New York Times bestselling author, Tim Dorsey. In Pineapple Grenade, the incomparable Serge takes up spying for the president of a banana republic, and now Homeland Security wants to bring him down. It’s always a wild ride when Dorsey’s at the wheel, and with Pineapple Grenade he delivers his most explosively hilarious road trip to date.

Mermaid Confidential

Mermaid Confidential PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 006296755X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 332

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Book Description
Serge A. Storms gives condo living a try in this off-the-wall, acid-splashed Florida crime caper from the “insanely funny” (New York Times Book Review) Tim Dorsey. “Delightfully madcap… This fiendishly funny adventure is irresistible.” — Publishers Weekly Serge A. Storms and his permanently baked sidekick, Coleman, have decided to pump the brakes and live on island time. After years of manic road tripping across their beloved Sunshine State, the irrepressible anti-heroes drop anchor in the Florida Keys. They settle down in Pelican Bay, a thriving condo complex with scenic views and friendly neighbors. But the community is at war with investors who are buying up units and leasing them to young vacationers who party at all hours. With their little slice of heaven on the line, Serge takes it upon himself to convince the tourists to move on and quickly becomes a local favorite. Meanwhile, the island chain’s long and rich smuggling heritage is causing mayhem—a gang war erupts when a local drug lord passes the family business to his young, enterprising son, and the sun-loving residents are suddenly dodging bullets. Luckily, Florida’s most lovable serial killer is there to help!

No Sunscreen for the Dead

No Sunscreen for the Dead PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062795902
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352

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Book Description
A USA Today Bestseller! The Sunshine State’s most lovable psychopath, Serge A. Storms, kills it in this zany adventure from the “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) king of mayhem, New York Times bestselling author Tim Dorsey. Serge and Coleman are back on the road, ready to hit the next stop on their list of obscure and wacky points of interest in the Sunshine State. This time, Serge’s interest is drawn to one of the largest retirement villages in the world—also known as the site of an infamous sex scandal between a retiree and her younger beau that rocked the community. What starts out as an innocent quest to observe elders in their natural habitats, sample the local cuisine, and scope out a condo to live out the rest of their golden years, soon becomes a Robin Hood-like crusade to recover the funds of swindled residents. After all, our seniors should be revered and respected—they’ve heroically fought in wars, garnered priceless wisdom, and they have the best first-hand accounts of bizarre Floridian occurrences only Serge would know about. But as the resident’s rally for Serge to seek justice on their behalves, two detectives are hot on the heels of Serge and Coleman’s murderous trail. In this epic adventure that jumps between present day and the tumultuous times of the Vietnam war, mystery fans are in for a witty and deliciously violent delight from the twisted imagination of bestselling author Tim Dorsey.

Hammerhead Ranch Motel

Hammerhead Ranch Motel PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061836729
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 446

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Book Description
There's a different schemer or slimeball behind every door: cocaine duckpins who have survived only by the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desperate to score, undercover cops busting undercover cops who are running sting operations on undercover cops. And just down the row, local historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped keeping up with his meds -- is still looking for a briefcase stuffed with five million dollars...and is now capable of wreaking more havoc than hurricane Rolando-berto, the big wind gathering force offshore, just waiting for the opportunity to blow everything straight to hell. Pack up your bags and head south to sunny Florida. Leave your rational mind at home and come well armed. There's a room with your number on it at the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.

When Elves Attack

When Elves Attack PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062092855
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 148

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Book Description
“The undisputed king of the comic crime novel.” —Providence Journal Nobody does Florida weirdness quite like Tim Dorsey! Case in point: When Elves Attack, the New York Times bestselling author’s twisted Christmas present to his legion of adoring fans who can’t get enough of thrill-killer and Sunshine State historian Serge A. Storms, the most endearing psychopath since Dexter. Dorsey offers the perfect antidote for all those sappy feel-good holiday stories with this zany blockbuster extravaganza in which his wonderfully deranged serial killer Floridaphile delivers his special brand of Christmas cheer. More outrageous than Santa Claus in a Speedo, When Elves Attack serves up a Yuletide feast of the “pure gonzo humor” the New York Times Book Review enthusiastically attributes to this fearlessly funny writer. Think Bad Santa and National Lampoon’s Family Vacation, blend in Dorsey’s trademark appetite for destruction, and you’ve got hilarious crime fiction black comedy that anyone would be thrilled to discover stuffed in their Christmas stocking.