Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant Attachment PDF Author: David Lawson PhD
Publisher: David Lawson PhD
ISBN:
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 113

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Book Description
Does your partner experience their relationship with you through a certain detachment? Do you feel coldness and distance within the relationship that is difficult to explain? Do you strive to grow your relationship, but have been stuck in the same spot for months or even years? A partner with an avoidant attachment style of emotion can build walls and create distances in any couple relationship, can show strict communication limits and undermine a romantic relationship. The detached attitude of the avoidant attachment personality can be frustrating for a partner, who will find him or herself experiencing feelings of uselessness and/or neglect, even to the point of feeling completely abandoned. Those who in a relationship with an avoidant partner can, justifiably, take a few steps back and question the entire relationship. Similarly, in adult life, people with avoidant attachments fear losing their self-reliance. They come to think that forming a partnership with another person will lead them to lose something of themselves. They approach the relationship in a conflictual way. On the one hand, they seek it because they desire intimacy and closeness, but on the other, living the relationship as a couple forces them to confront the painful memory of primary relationships that were emotionally deficient or sources of suffering. You may already have started a family with an avoidant person and made huge efforts to try to make it all work, out of love for your partner, family and children (as well as for your own happiness!). The mechanisms of distancing the avoidant partner have very deep roots. Only knowledge of these ‘protection systems’ can overcome the distances with the person you love. There is no other way. I recommend that you read this book if your partner: - Has a shy, detached, elusive personality or seems impervious to love and emotions. - Struggles to think as a couple and to build a sense of ‘US’. - Obstructs, or deviates from any attempt to communicate your hurt feelings. - Cannot – or will not - accept help from others. - Shows boundless love for a pet but can be cool and aloof with you. - Regards any request for intimacy from you as pressurising. - Shows difficulties in living the sexual life of a couple in a natural way, sometimes even avoiding intimacy in their relationships. - Is not aware of these dynamics, so can come to question love, to the point of thinking that they are a difficult person. Not everyone wants or has time to physically sit down with a couple counsellor. They are often not prepared for this type of specific attachment. Instead, you might feel: - Empty and confused when you are close to your partner. - Like an invader of their privacy and put aside. - That there is something wrong and you feel that somehow, it's your fault. - As if you are playing a constant game of ‘hide and seek’ in the relationship. - That sometimes, you are insecure and unworthy of love. If you do not intervene soon, those in a couple relationship with an avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship that consists of distances, until the relationship eventually fragments. Everything you have built together will have been in vain. Understanding the wounds of attachment is the best gift you can give to your relationship, and grow and nurture intimacy.

Wired for Love

Wired for Love PDF Author: Stan Tatkin
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1648482988
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 332

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Book Description
"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

Attached

Attached PDF Author: Amir Levine
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101475161
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Anxiously Attached

Anxiously Attached PDF Author: Jessica Baum, LMHC
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593331060
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
A road map for building strong and secure relationships for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections. An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In Anxiously Attached, seasoned psychotherapist and couples counselor Jessica Baum guides readers through understanding their attachment style at its core and building the inner strength and self-love that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships. Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum’s signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how to: Create boundaries to safeguard their sense of self-sovereignty in relationships Communicate to their partners what they need to feel safe and secure in the relationship Develop a secure sense of self-worth and emotional stability Learn the true meaning of a healthy/interdependent relationship and how to establish one with their partner or future partner. Discover a compassionate path towards healing through experiences like mediation practices where they can start to develop more insight into their internal landscape. Attain a deep understanding of the anxious-avoidant dance that is extremely common in intimacy struggles. Anxiously Attached offers a practical and holistic approach for overcoming anxious attachment issues to discover happier, more fulfilling relationships.

How We Love, Expanded Edition

How We Love, Expanded Edition PDF Author: Milan Yerkovich
Publisher: WaterBrook
ISBN: 0307457338
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 354

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Book Description
Did you know the last fight you had with your spouse began long before you even met? Are you tired of falling into frustrating relational patterns in your marriage? Do you and your spouse fight about the same things again and again? Relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich explain why the ways you and your spouse relate to each other go back to before you even met. Drawing on the powerful tool of attachment theory, Milan and Kay explore how your childhood created an “intimacy imprint” that affects your marriage today. Their stories and practical ideas help you: * identify your personal love style * understand how your early life impacts you and your spouse * break free from painful patterns that keep you stuck * find healing for the source of conflict, not just the symptoms * create the close, nourishing relationship you dream about Revised throughout with all-new material and additional visual diagrams, this expanded edition of How We Love will bring vibrant life to your marriage. Are you ready for a new journey of love? Note: The revised and expanded How We Love Workbook is available separately.

Avoidant Attachment

Avoidant Attachment PDF Author: David Lawson PhD
Publisher: David Lawson PhD
ISBN:
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 113

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Book Description
Does your partner experience their relationship with you through a certain detachment? Do you feel coldness and distance within the relationship that is difficult to explain? Do you strive to grow your relationship, but have been stuck in the same spot for months or even years? A partner with an avoidant attachment style of emotion can build walls and create distances in any couple relationship, can show strict communication limits and undermine a romantic relationship. The detached attitude of the avoidant attachment personality can be frustrating for a partner, who will find him or herself experiencing feelings of uselessness and/or neglect, even to the point of feeling completely abandoned. Those who in a relationship with an avoidant partner can, justifiably, take a few steps back and question the entire relationship. Similarly, in adult life, people with avoidant attachments fear losing their self-reliance. They come to think that forming a partnership with another person will lead them to lose something of themselves. They approach the relationship in a conflictual way. On the one hand, they seek it because they desire intimacy and closeness, but on the other, living the relationship as a couple forces them to confront the painful memory of primary relationships that were emotionally deficient or sources of suffering. You may already have started a family with an avoidant person and made huge efforts to try to make it all work, out of love for your partner, family and children (as well as for your own happiness!). The mechanisms of distancing the avoidant partner have very deep roots. Only knowledge of these ‘protection systems’ can overcome the distances with the person you love. There is no other way. I recommend that you read this book if your partner: - Has a shy, detached, elusive personality or seems impervious to love and emotions. - Struggles to think as a couple and to build a sense of ‘US’. - Obstructs, or deviates from any attempt to communicate your hurt feelings. - Cannot – or will not - accept help from others. - Shows boundless love for a pet but can be cool and aloof with you. - Regards any request for intimacy from you as pressurising. - Shows difficulties in living the sexual life of a couple in a natural way, sometimes even avoiding intimacy in their relationships. - Is not aware of these dynamics, so can come to question love, to the point of thinking that they are a difficult person. Not everyone wants or has time to physically sit down with a couple counsellor. They are often not prepared for this type of specific attachment. Instead, you might feel: - Empty and confused when you are close to your partner. - Like an invader of their privacy and put aside. - That there is something wrong and you feel that somehow, it's your fault. - As if you are playing a constant game of ‘hide and seek’ in the relationship. - That sometimes, you are insecure and unworthy of love. If you do not intervene soon, those in a couple relationship with an avoidant person will end up having to settle for a relationship that consists of distances, until the relationship eventually fragments. Everything you have built together will have been in vain. Understanding the wounds of attachment is the best gift you can give to your relationship, and grow and nurture intimacy.

Life's Expressions

Life's Expressions PDF Author: Rose Chance
Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
ISBN: 164515727X
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 49

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Book Description
Hopefully you can relate with the sentiments of my heart to soothe and comfort your day in a world that's so fast-paced. It's good to be able to relax and let the comfort of a series of events encourage you to keep living productive lives. Thanks for taking the time to share these expressions with me.

Grace-Based Parenting

Grace-Based Parenting PDF Author: Tim Kimmel
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 141851540X
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 272

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Book Description
Discover a parenting style that nurtures a healthy family and displaces fear as a motivator for behavior. Learn how to meet your child's three driving inner needs for security, significance and strength with the invaluable gifts of love, purpose and hope. Modern parents are stressed out and tired. They’ve tried countless parenting books on the market, many of which are harsh, fear-based books that loving parents instinctively reject. As Christians, we frequently believe that the battle for a child's heart and soul is fought on the outside with rigid rules and boundaries, when in fact the opposite is true. Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a timeless look at parenting. Rejecting rigidity and checklists that don't work, Dr. Kimmel recommends a parenting style that is the opposite, emphasizing the importance of communicating the unconditional love that Christ offers and affirming this timeless message of grace to one's family. In Grace-Based Parenting, you’ll learn: A parenting style that mirrors God's love, reflects His forgiveness, and displaces fear as a motivator Why fear-based parenting is a guaranteed method to set children up for failure How to provide a safe space for children to develop into functional adults with purpose, security, and inner strength As we embrace the grace God offers, we begin to give it—creating a solid foundation for growing morally strong and spiritually motivated children. This revolutionary book presents a whole new way to nurture your family.

Can You Hear My Pain Now?

Can You Hear My Pain Now? PDF Author: Michael G. Maness
Publisher: Wipf and Stock Publishers
ISBN: 1666798495
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 458

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Book Description
Pastoral care and its theology get a gentle boost from some of the best in the business of caring for the soul. When a person hurts, they often look to God. Several pathfinders give new light from their specialties, each one speaking powerfully, uniquely, and artfully from decades of experience. Dr. Amos Yong’s article on disability forwards the amazingly helpful term, “temporarily able-bodied.” Greek Orthodox Dr. Vasileios Thermos and Roman Catholic Dr. Robert Fastiggi enlighten next to the powerful testaments of Professor Godfrey Harold on South Africa and Dr. Samuel Yonas Deressa on Ethiopia. Each weathered author contributes universal insights into the grace of our great God and challenges pastors throughout the Christian world to kindly consider the heart of the afflicted. These finely hewn stones can be used by anyone in the ministry to sharpen their serve. Mattis and Maness offer this third collection from Testamentum Imperium with a prayer that these will open new avenues of sensitivity to the hearts and souls of those in travail and aid those who are called by God to serve those in pain.

Extreme Grandparenting

Extreme Grandparenting PDF Author: Tim Kimmel
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.
ISBN: 1604828951
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 290

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Book Description
Grandparents have a vital role in the lives of their grandchildren, not only as a mentor and loving family member, but as a spiritual rock during the hard times. Extreme Grandparenting helps readers understand how to make the most of the new role of grandparent and how to grow the next generation for greatness.

Love’S Fire Works

Love’S Fire Works PDF Author: Andrew Carey
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN: 150496165X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 503

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Book Description
Loves Fire Works The Rule-Breaker is an explosive, power-packed work that communicates boldly about Gods fiery works to birth loves greater mysteries. The author shares his journey to overcome panic attacks and marital fireworks, and his personal stories offer hope and perspective for those struggling with relationships, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, or identity issues. This challenging yet grace-filled work is a refuge and light for connecting with God during trials. This work cries out with a tenacious, ever-pursuing love beyond the rules and ways of this earth, and yet, with a divine justice that feeds and gathers the poor, afflicted, and outcast. Going further with God means breaking our rules burning away the old to awaken us to know Gods perfect love that casts out fear and judgment. This ground-breaking, thought-provoking work will stir the Spirit to greater life within you for a long time to come.