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Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781096788850
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 460
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Book Description
Come for the vacation. Stay for the shenanigans! Mermaids. Check. Pirates, Selkies, and Demi-Gods. Check. Check. Check. Come on an adventure with my Mermaids and their unlikely heroes. Get 3 hilarious stories all in 1 big book! Book 1 - Tallulah's Temptation Running a tourist trap for humans in the Bermuda Triangle had sounded like a fine plan-until it wasn't. With the Sea Hags gunning for our island, I did what any desperate Mermaid would do. I called for backup. Unfortunately, they sent Pirate Doug, the scoundrel that pillaged our treasure along with my heart. What in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking? Book 2 - Ariel's Antics What in a clam shell does a Mermaid have to do to find true love? Saving my island home is a must. However, the mission is to seek out the very Selkie who stole my heart, the same asshat whose Johnson I'd tried to truncate. Ask any tuna you happen to see. Who's the craziest Mermaid? That would be me. Book 3 - Misty's Mayhem What's love got to do with it? If you're Cupid, everything. If you're me, not a thing in the sea. I don't believe in love. Poseidon is smoking some bad seaweed if he expects me to take the one job I'm obviously not qualified for... The God of Love. Stay tuned because I'm about to give love a bad name.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781096788850
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 460
Get Book Here
Book Description
Come for the vacation. Stay for the shenanigans! Mermaids. Check. Pirates, Selkies, and Demi-Gods. Check. Check. Check. Come on an adventure with my Mermaids and their unlikely heroes. Get 3 hilarious stories all in 1 big book! Book 1 - Tallulah's Temptation Running a tourist trap for humans in the Bermuda Triangle had sounded like a fine plan-until it wasn't. With the Sea Hags gunning for our island, I did what any desperate Mermaid would do. I called for backup. Unfortunately, they sent Pirate Doug, the scoundrel that pillaged our treasure along with my heart. What in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking? Book 2 - Ariel's Antics What in a clam shell does a Mermaid have to do to find true love? Saving my island home is a must. However, the mission is to seek out the very Selkie who stole my heart, the same asshat whose Johnson I'd tried to truncate. Ask any tuna you happen to see. Who's the craziest Mermaid? That would be me. Book 3 - Misty's Mayhem What's love got to do with it? If you're Cupid, everything. If you're me, not a thing in the sea. I don't believe in love. Poseidon is smoking some bad seaweed if he expects me to take the one job I'm obviously not qualified for... The God of Love. Stay tuned because I'm about to give love a bad name.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 474
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Book Description
Come for the vacation. Stay for the shenanigans! Mermaids. Check. Pirates, Werewolves, Genies and a drunken Sea God. Check. Check. Check. Check. Come on an adventure with my Mermaids and their unlikely heroes. Get 3 hilarious stories all in 1 big book! Book 4 - Madison's Mess What could possibly go wrong when a mermaid and a werewolf are sent on a dangerous mission by the drunken, diaper-wearing God of the Sea? Better question. What could possibly go right? May the gods help us all. Book 5 - Petunia's Pandemonium Mix one part Mermaid - one part Genie. Throw in an intoxicated God of the Sea and a few smack-talking Pirates. What have you got? Pandemonium. Petunia's Pandemonium to be more accurate. Book 6 - Jingle Me Balls What in the salty seas could be more important than presents at Christmas time? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Tis' Christmas time on Mystical Isle and just like the fat bastard in red, I've made a list and now I shall check it... twice. Yeah, twice. I might wear a diaper, but I'm not an arse. It seems I have everything under control and Christmas on Mystical Isle will be unforgettable, or I'm not the Well-Hung God of the Sea, Poseidon. And I am.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781653843152
Category : Man-woman relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 132
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Book Description
What in the salty seas could be more important than presents at Christmas time? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Tis' Christmas time on Mystical Isle and just like the fat bastard in red, I've made a list and now I shall check it... twice. Yeah, twice. I might wear a diaper, but I'm not an arse.Battle the human women in sweatpants and snow boots for electronics on Black Friday. Check.Cover each palm tree in lights even though the Mermaids insist they look phallic. Check. By the way, what does phallic mean? Never mind. Check.Moving on.Weave a Christmas tale during family story time on the beach, have a family portrait made in the special sweaters I pilfered, and write a letter to Santa. I mean, fat bastard... Check. Planning activities that may end in bloodshed. Check. That's what I call a yuletide win, so check-check. The Mermaids have baked lovely Christmas cookies that will go wonderfully with the rum in my diaper. And everyone has voted to veto caroling since Pirate Doug has a singing voice that can kill... literally. The present exchange would be ruined if everyone was dead. Could my days be merrier or brighter? Uh, no. Check.It seems I have everything under control and Christmas on Mystical Isle will be unforgettable, or I'm not the Well-Hung God of the Sea, Poseidon. And I am. Check.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781724726513
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 224
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Book Description
Misty What's love got to do with it? If you're Cupid, everything. If you're me, not a thing in the sea. I don't believe in love. Poseidon is smoking some bad seaweed if he expects me to take the one job I'm obviously not qualified for. Rumor has it, Cupid is a chubby baby with a bad attitude. That's all I need. A pissed off porcine toddler with love arrows gunning for my tail because I took his job. On top of that, the idiot I'm kind of seeing who shall remain nameless-mostly because I don't know his name... don't judge-left red and silver magic all over my skin and hair last time we... umm...went on a date. And guess what? It doesn't wash off. Poseidon saw me sparkling away and now I'm freakin' Cupid. Getting to the bottom of this abyss means finding what's his name and thrashing his fine, smexy behind with my fin. Why does this send shivers of delight all the way to the tip of my tail you might ask? I have no clue and no time to figure it out. Don't judge. I'm about to give love a bad name. Cupid Love is a fool's game. Or at least I thought so for the past millennium... Getting fired by a slightly inebriated God of the Sea isn't so bad as long as you can find your way past the slurring of his words. Finding out Poseidon's replacing me with the Mermaid I've been seeing for the past fifty years is an arrow straight to the heart. And not the good kind. No big deal, right? I'll just go to her and explain the job is mine. End of story. Of course, it could get a bit awkward since we never actually exchanged names. I'm Cupid and will always be Cupid. Sure, I may have slacked off a little and caused a tear in the abyss that may have possibly let some Demons through to this plane. I mean, who doesn't let that happen every now and again? But the word around Mt. Olympus is that said Demons are coming for Cupid. And if she's Cupid and I'm not, then they're coming for my Mermaid. Unacceptable. It might be a battlefield-but in the name of love, I'll fight for this crazy little thing.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781707905041
Category : Man-woman relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 186
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Book Description
Mix one part Mermaid-one part Genie. Throw in an intoxicated God of the Sea and and a few smack-talking Pirates. What have you got?Pandemonium.Petunia's Pandemonium to be more accurate. PetuniaLetting the ocean current take me where it may for the last twenty-five years hasn't worked out so great. So, instead of getting my tail in a knot, I'm making some swimmingly simple changes. -Stay on Mystical Isle with my cousins who love me.-Avenge my parents and eliminate the sea monster who's wreaking havoc.-Forget about the gorgeous, no-good Genie who left me at the altar... so to speak.-Stay away from Genies until the end of time.-Join Poseidon's embarrassingly named online dating service for Immortals and get back into the game.What could go wrong?DelI'm a Genie in a bottle baby. Or at least I was. After spending a quarter of a century, doing time for streaking at the Super Bowl after being destroyed by love, I'm a free man. It's time to get my life together and forget about the Mermaid who didn't want me. The list is simple.-Stop granting wishes to idiots.-Figure out why the Genie Star Fire Light in my eyes is burning out before I die a slow agonizing death.-Eat an outstanding cheeseburger.-Stay away from Mermaids.-Join Poseidon's embarrassingly named online dating service for Immortals and get back into the game.It's a plan. Not necessarily a stellar one, but it's a plan.Come for the Vacation. Stay for the Shenanigans!
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781722906504
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 200
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Book Description
Ariel What in the clam shell does a Mermaid have to do to find true love? I'm bored. And if I'm being honest, I'm jealous. I want my sister to have her happily ever after. I do. But I want my own adventures and my own true love. For two hundred years I've suffered through one immortal asshat after another while stuck on Mystical Isle. And while running a tourist trap for humans might be entertaining, I'm never going to find my true love in this sea of monotony. Of course, there is a Selkie... the sexiest most idiotic man-seal I've ever had the misfortune of swimming across-definitely an asshat. Unfortunately, the dork still invades my dreams on a regular basis. I finally have a shot at an adventure. I must save our island home. However, the mission is to seek out the very Selkie who stole my heart... the same asshat whose Johnson I'd tried to truncate. Holy hell and seashells. Only I would agree to a tsunami waiting to happen. Ask any tuna you happen to see... Who's the craziest Mermaid? That would be me. Keith What in Poseidon's rum soaked arse does a three hundred year old Selkie do when his parents desert him and leave him to fend for himself? I mean, my Gods, laundry and cooking are dangerous business. Wait. What would Aquaman do? More specifically-what would Jason Momoa do? He would save the day and the damsel... I simply needed to find a day and a damsel to save. Maybe the only thing missing in my life is the beautiful blue haired Mermaid who wants to lop my Johnson off. Wait. No. A Johnson-less Selkie is not something I aspire to. And to make matters worse, my mother is up my backside for grand-Selkies... Grand-Selkies mean I have to impregnate someone. Impregnating someone means that I have to find a mate. Finding a mate means I have to get a job and use my gift-whatever that is. This could be a problem. Whatever. I'm going for it. Why? Because that's what freakin' Aquaman would do.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781098591755
Category : Man-woman relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 226
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Book Description
What could possibly go wrong when a Mermaid and a Werewolf are sent on a dangerous mission by the drunken, diaper-wearing God of the Sea?Better question. What could possibly go right?MadisonUnlike my sisters, I haven't found my HEA. And I'm looking-hard. But finding a man who wants to blowhole dive in Hawaii on the first date is more difficult than you might imagine. I've been forced to settle for a few meaningless orgasms with men who disappear when I suggest fun activities, like scaling twenty stories while blindfolded.Look, I know meaningless nookie won't help me find my happily ever after, or even a guy who believes tightrope handstands over the Grand Canyon are fun. But there is someone out there for me so next time I do the horizontal mambo, it's for keeps.May the gods help me. Well, me and whoever I boink next.RickBeing a Vegan Werewolf has its drawbacks. I've been exiled from my pack and even the petting zoo of deer, rabbits and raccoons I keep safely tucked away from my fellow Weres isn't enough to banish the loneliness I feel. Talking to myself is becoming dangerous. Just two days ago out of stupefying boredom, I made a wager with myself that I could fly. It didn't end well.Thankfully Poseidon is sending me on a mission. Unfortunately, it's with a crazy Mermaid who has a worse reputation for death defying recreation than me.I have no clue what's in store, but may the gods help me. Well, me and this swimming hottie, because I'm totally down.
Author: Robyn Peterman
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781721139422
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 132
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Book Description
Pirate DougWhat in the Chicken of the Sea was I thinking to agree to this half arsed Otherworld Defense Agency mission?I'm the most absurdly good looking Vampire Pirate of the High Seas. Being on the run for my life is very important work... and a freaking full time job. Defending Mermaids from some vicious Sea Hags is going to cut into my pilfering time.Unacceptable.Even though this is a very bad move on my part, I know I'll eventually agree-too many bounties on my arse to refuse, and the thought of a certain Mermaid makes my roger quite jolly.However, Tallulah, the leader of the Mystical Isle Pod of Mermaids, isn't going to be happy to see me... at all. The horrible, sexy, breathtaking woman has been starring in my dreams for too many years to count. Sadly, just when my mind wanders to the really good nookie part, the dream ends with her lopping my Johnson off.I just hope to Hell and back that the Sea Hags have some outstanding booty to steal. If I'm going to have to regrow my tallywhacker, the treasure had better damned well be worth it.Tallulah Running a tourist trap for humans in the Bermuda Triangle had sounded like a fine plan-until it wasn't. With the Sea Hags gunning for our island and ruining our questionably successful business, I did what any desperate Mermaid would do. I called for backup.Of course, getting help from the Otherworld Defense Agency is risky as they don't usually deal with ocean creatures. Whatever. Desperate times call for crappy measures. Chances are they'll send freaking Pirates. I hate Pirates...Well, I hate one Pirate in particular.Hopefully, it won't be the one seafaring jackhole I despise more than any other. Pirate Doug would be an idiot to show his face here after what he'd done. Not only did the dumbass abscond with our treasure, the son-of-a-bitch took my heart with him as well.I'll tear his sorry ass to shreds if he so much as steps even one hairy toe on my island.
Author: S. Egroeg Reklaw
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1479716782
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 251
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Book Description
Author: Kris Saknussemm
Publisher: Catapult
ISBN: 1593764480
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 273
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Book Description
Bowling lessons with a hunchback. A bizarre first-grade teacher who hallucinates in class. A tragically innocent family blind-sided by flower power, and the salvation of soul music at a radio station straight out of a Quentin Tarantino version of The Twilight Zone. These are just a few of the luminous characters and conjurings Kris Saknussemm delivers in his kaleidoscopic Sea Monkeys—the story of his growing up in the counterculture San Francisco Bay Area and central California in the 1960s. Known for his genre-bending works Zanesville and Private Midnight, Saknussemm now gives us a highly original take on the nonfiction memoir, in which he shatters the stained glass windows of his father's church and mixes the pieces with ghost cartoons, the Cronkite contradictions of Civil Rights demonstrations, and ads for laxatives during a strange hiatus in American sanity when Sly Stone and Perry Como could both be in the Top 10. Honest, funny, and at times heartbreaking, Sea Monkeys is the no-holds-barred tale of one of our most exciting contemporary authors’ own coming of age, and the perfect follow-up to Saknussemm’s Zanesville, which Booklist hailed as “one of the most creative, edgy, and entertaining novels spawned in a decade.”
