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Author: Evan Witmer
Publisher: Odd Fiction
ISBN: 1708222200
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 323
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Book Description
In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author’s adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.New for September 2020: The book has been reedited by professional editor Vincent Parisi.
Author: Evan Witmer
Publisher: Odd Fiction
ISBN: 1708222200
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 323
Get Book Here
Book Description
In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author’s adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.New for September 2020: The book has been reedited by professional editor Vincent Parisi.
Author: Witmer
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781088175033
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Hardcover edition: A new version of my first novel made to celebrate my early successes. Includes new professionally done artwork [cover reveal 7/19]. Also includes bonus content in the back--an afterword highlighting my tumultuous relationship with sudden popularity and unavoidable infamy. In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author's adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.
Author: Evan Witmer
Publisher: Odd Fiction
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 377
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Book Description
Step one of burning a book is finding a disagreeable premise within its interior to justify the act. In order to simplify this process for the reader, each short story in this collection is followed by a precise reason the short story should be immolated, opined by the author’s many critics. "Lucky Girl Noir" is about a hard-boiled cop solving the murder of a ‘Lucky Girl’, one of many powered women born with probability consistenly in their favor. Burning this story would be a much needed win in the war against plagiarism. "Three Days West" is an acid-Western about a pair of turophile cowboys exploiting their otherworldly connection in frontier Colorado. This story deserves burning for stealing the modesty of American pulp heroes. "Zantar" is Tarzan but with aliens and raccoons. Burning seems appropriate, as it acts as a continuation of the author’s insatiable hunger for theriocide. "Sea Creatures" is a sapphic love story between a siren and a mermaid. The story deserves to be burned for suggesting bras are a form of art. "Lizard People Take Orlando" tells the story of Zaffre Davis, a young grad student running for mayor of Orlando while keeping his double life as a scalie a secret. Burning should be considered due to its depictions of the furry fandom as solely affiliating with Democrats. "The Spirit Realm" is about the survivor of a mass party poisoning who wakes up to find he can talk to and interrogate bottles of alcohol. Not a single character is represented by a bottle of absinthe; a crime best punished by burning. "The Pimp That Slapped the Ripper" is about the fall of Jack the Ripper at the hands of a violent, young procurer who will protect her property at all costs. The author’s new softness has robbed the story of certain graphic, historical details; their omission begets burning. "Washed" is the story of a man who loses all his memories when he takes a shower. Burn this one to effectively eliminate the author’s ugly, stinky past. "An American Weekend" is about a boy’s considerably awful week, and his preceding visitation by the embodiments of Friday, Saturday and Sunday; who guide him out of his funk. Turn it to ashes; this interpretation of the weekend reeks of upper-class privilege. "Roadwork" is about the daily struggles of a lemurtologist, an exorcist working for the DMV whose job is to remove ghosts from the road after a horrific accident. Tossing this story into the fire could fracture the ego of a hate-filled author obsessed with smudging the good name of the DMV.
Author: Kira Jane Buxton
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 153874581X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 288
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Book Description
A finalist for the 2020 Thurber Prize for American Humor! "The Secret Life of Pets meets The Walking Dead" in this big-hearted, boundlessly beautiful romp through the Apocalypse, where a foul-mouthed crow is humanity's only chance to survive Seattle's zombie problem (Karen Joy Fowler, PEN/Faulkner Award-winning author). S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos ®. But when Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, S.T. starts to think something's not quite right. His tried-and-true remedies—from beak-delivered beer to the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis—fail to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis, where he suddenly discovers that the neighbors are devouring one other. Local wildlife is abuzz with rumors of Seattle's dangerous new predators. Humanity's extinction has seemingly arrived, and the only one determined to save it is a cowardly crow whose only knowledge of the world comes from TV. What could possibly go wrong? Includes a Reading Group Guide.
Author: Julie Hockley
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1491728752
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 410
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Book Description
For college student Emily Sheppard, the thought of spending a summer alone in New York is much more preferable than spending it in France with her parents. Just completing her freshman year at Callister University, Emily faces a quiet summer in the city slums, supporting herself by working at the campus library. During one of her jogs through the nearby cemetery while visiting her brother Bills grave, Emily witnesses a brutal killingand then she blacks out. When Emily regains consciousness, she realizes shes been kidnapped by a young crime boss and his gang. She is hurled into a secret underworld, wondering why she is still alive and for how long. Held captive in rural Vermont, she tries to make sense of her situation and what it means. While uncovering secrets about her brother and his untimely death, Emily falls in love with her very rich and very dangerous captor, twenty-six-year-old Cameron. She understands its a forbidden love and one that wont allow her to return to her previous life. But love may not be enough to save Emily when no one even knows she is missing.
Author: Anne Bishop
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593337336
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 369
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Book Description
In this engrossing and gripping fantasy set in the world of the New York Times bestselling Others series, an inn owner and her friends must find a killer—before it’s too late.… Crowbones will gitcha if you don’t watch out! Deep in the territory controlled by the Others—shape-shifters, vampires, and even deadlier paranormal beings—Vicki DeVine has made a new life for herself running The Jumble, a rustic resort. When she decides to host a gathering of friends and guests for Trickster Night, at first everything is going well between the humans and the Others. But then someone arrives dressed as Crowbones, the Crowgard bogeyman. When the impostor is killed along with a shape-shifting Crow, and the deaths are clearly connected, everyone fears that the real Crowbones may have come to The Jumble—and that could mean serious trouble. To “encourage” humans to help them find some answers, the Elders and Elementals close all the roads, locking in suspects and victims alike. Now Vicki, human police chief Grimshaw, vampire lawyer Ilya Sanguinati, and the rest of their friends have to figure out who is manipulating events designed to pit humans against Others—and who may have put Vicki DeVine in the crosshairs of a powerful hunter.
Author: G. R. Gemin
Publisher: Nosy Crow
ISBN: 0857632825
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 178
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Book Description
Growing up on the embattled Mawr Estate in South Wales, all Gemma sees are burglaries, muggings, sadness and boredom. With a dad in prison and a mum who has given up hope, she, like everyone around her, is holding on to memories of the times when happiness wasn't so hard to find. When her search for the scene of a perfect childhood day takes her up into the surrounding hills, Gemma is forced into a meeting with the legendary Cowgirl. Everyone at school knows she's a weirdo: six foot tall and angry, the only conversations she has are with the twelve cows on her dad's farm. But with her abrupt arrival in Gemma's life, everything starts to look different. And with her only friends in mortal danger of the abattoir, it turns out she and Gemma have a mission on their hands. A gently funny story of a community coming together, this is a tale of happy endings in unexpected places. Shortlisted for the Waterstones Prize Winner of the Tir na n-Og Award Cover illustration by Tom Clohosy Cole. Also by G. R. Gemin: Sweet Pizza "The warmth and charm of 'Sweet Pizza' are quite extraordinary; though there are some very moving moments, it is mainly a joyous and eccentric comedy." - Kate Saunders, Guardian Children's Fiction Prize Judge
Author: Laura Ruby
Publisher: Walden Pond Press
ISBN: 9781549068935
Category : Brothers and sistsers
Languages : en
Pages : 476
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Book Description
It was 1798 when the Morningstarr twins arrived in New York with a vision for a magnificent city: towering skyscrapers, dazzling machines, and winding train lines, all running on technology no one had ever seen before. Fifty-seven years later, the enigmatic architects disappeared, leaving behind for the people of New York the Old York Cipher--a puzzle laid into the shining city they constructed, at the end of which was promised a treasure beyond all imagining. By the present day, however, the puzzle has never been solved, and the greatest mystery of the modern world is little more than a tourist attraction. Tess and Theo Biedermann and their friend Jaime Cruz live in a Morningstarr apartment--until a real estate developer announces that the city has agreed to sell him the five remaining Morningstarr buildings. Their likely destruction means the end of a dream long held by the people of New York. And if Tess, Theo, and Jaime want to save their home, they have to prove that the Old York Cipher is real. Which means they have to solve it.
Author: Anne Bishop
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0451466160
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 450
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Book Description
Return to New York Times bestselling author Anne Bishop’s world of the Others—where supernatural entities and humans struggle to co-exist, and one woman has begun to change all the rules… After winning the trust of the Others residing in the Lakeside Courtyard, Meg Corbyn has had trouble figuring out what it means to live among them. As a human, Meg should be barely tolerated prey, but her abilities as a cassandra sangue make her something more. The appearance of two addictive drugs has sparked violence between the humans and the Others, resulting in the murder of both species in nearby cities. So when Meg has a dream about blood and black feathers in the snow, Simon Wolfgard—Lakeside’s shape-shifting leader—wonders if their blood prophet dreamed of a past attack or a future threat. As the urge to speak prophecies strikes Meg more frequently, trouble finds its way inside the Courtyard. Now, the Others and the handful of humans residing there must work together to stop the man bent on reclaiming their blood prophet—and stop the danger that threatens to destroy them all.
Author: Cindy Barden
Publisher: Milliken Publishing Company
ISBN: 078772520X
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 9
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Book Description
This packet is designed to teach critical thinking skills in conjuction with Benjamin Bloom's hierarchy of educational objectives. These engaging activities will teach students to collect and organize data, identify cause and effect, use analogies, make logically sound decisions, and more! Answer key is included.
