Notes from the Underwire

Notes from the Underwire PDF Author: Quinn Cummings
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 1401394507
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 252

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Book Description
Meet Quinn Cummings. Former child star, mother, and modern woman, she just wants to be a good person. Quinn grew up in Los Angeles, a city whose patron saint would be a sixteen-year-old with a gold card and two trips to rehab under her belt. Quinn does crossword puzzles, eats lentils without being forced, and longs to wear a scarf without looking like a Camp Fire Girl. And she tries very hard to be the Adult--the one everybody calls for a ride to the airport--but somehow she always comes up short. In Notes from the Underwire, Quinn's smart and hilarious debut, she tackles the domestic and the delightfully absurd, proving that all too often they're one and the same. From fighting off a catnip-addled cat to mortal conflict with a sewing machine, Quinn provides insight into her often chaotic, seldom-perfect universe -- a universe made even less perfect when the goofy smile of past celebrity shows its occasional fang. The book, like the author herself, is good hearted, keenly observant, and blisteringly funny. In other words, really good company.

Notes from the Underwire

Notes from the Underwire PDF Author: Quinn Cummings
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 1401394507
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 252

Get Book Here

Book Description
Meet Quinn Cummings. Former child star, mother, and modern woman, she just wants to be a good person. Quinn grew up in Los Angeles, a city whose patron saint would be a sixteen-year-old with a gold card and two trips to rehab under her belt. Quinn does crossword puzzles, eats lentils without being forced, and longs to wear a scarf without looking like a Camp Fire Girl. And she tries very hard to be the Adult--the one everybody calls for a ride to the airport--but somehow she always comes up short. In Notes from the Underwire, Quinn's smart and hilarious debut, she tackles the domestic and the delightfully absurd, proving that all too often they're one and the same. From fighting off a catnip-addled cat to mortal conflict with a sewing machine, Quinn provides insight into her often chaotic, seldom-perfect universe -- a universe made even less perfect when the goofy smile of past celebrity shows its occasional fang. The book, like the author herself, is good hearted, keenly observant, and blisteringly funny. In other words, really good company.

The Year of Learning Dangerously

The Year of Learning Dangerously PDF Author: Quinn Cummings
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101610719
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 215

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Book Description
A year of homeschooling. What could possibly go wrong? In this honest and wry memoir, popular blogger, author, and former child actor Quinn Cummings recounts her family’s decision to wade into the unfamiliar waters of homeschooling – the fastest-growing educational trend of our time -- despite a chronic lack of discipline, some major gaps in academic knowledge, and a serious case of math aversion. (And that’s just Quinn.) Quinn’s fearless quest includes some self-homeschooling – reading up on education reform, debating the need for “socialization,” and infiltrating conferences filled with Radical Unschoolers as well as Christian fundamentalists (and even chaperoning a homeschool prom). Part personal narrative, part social commentary, and part how-not-to guide, The Year of Learning Dangerously will make you laugh and make you think. And there may or may not be a quiz at the end. OK, there’s no quiz. Probably.

Pet Sounds

Pet Sounds PDF Author: Quinn Cummings
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780989447300
Category : Television actors and actresses
Languages : en
Pages : 234

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Book Description
Quinn Cummings is an Oscar-nominated actor (The Goodbye Girl, Family), and a critically acclaimed author and humorist whose previous books, NOTES FROM THE UNDERWIRE and THE YEAR OF LEARNING DANGEROUSLY, have earned her a new generation of fans worldwide. In her third book, PET SOUNDS, Cummings writes about a lifetime of living with - and occasionally against - domesticated critters. Drawn from her experiences and her popular blog, The QC Report, Quinn introduces us to a housecat who yearns to kill everything smaller than a microwave, a rescue dog with a hopeless (and one-sided) love for skunks; a bloodthirsty rabbit and a lizard resurrected from the dead. Hard core pet-lovers and the barely pet-tolerant will all enjoy these hilariously droll stories about our quadruped companions: the good, the bad, the ugly and the flatulent.

Modest Blessings for Modern Times

Modest Blessings for Modern Times PDF Author: Quinn Cummings
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780989447317
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 34

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Book Description
A funny book about everyday small blessings, perfectly plausible strokes of luck, and not inheriting a loved one's parrot when they die. Who wouldn't enjoy being promised their daughter's idiot boyfriend will be out of her life before the holiday picture is taken?Life is challenging. We could all use a big win but that doesn't happen too often. It's modest blessings that keep us going. Quinn Cummings knows that sometimes you just need a run of green lights while driving home or to know the answer to Final Jeopardy when someone is actually around to hear you say it. Modest Blessings for Modern Times bestows the most mundane of good fortune and, should you feel like it, you can tear off a blessing and hand it to someone who needs it. That someone can always be you.Modest Blessings for Modern Times is a laugh-out-loud reminder to look around and appreciate the tiny joys life offers, to keep things in perspective, and to buy that bridesmaid's dress knowing you will, in fact, wear it again.

What Would Susie Say?

What Would Susie Say? PDF Author: Susie Essman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439150176
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
IN WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY?, Susie Essman sheds the crasser layers to reveal how she went from an anxiety-ridden, struggling stand-up comic to being one of the funniest women on television, playing Susie Greene on HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. Emerging as one of the most successful performers in her field, Essman goes behind the scenes of a life in comedy with her funny cohorts, including Joy Behar, Rodney Dangerfield, and, of course, Jeff Garlin and Larry David, while also providing sidesplittingly funny wisdom on a range of topics that she's highly unqualified to expound upon, including men, sports, hypochondria, and stepparenthood. WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY ABOUT... MARRIAGE? "It took me a long time to find the man I was willing to commit myself to. Even the word commit is troublesome. One is committed to a mental institution." MEN WITH DOGS? "As a dog lover, I've researched many different breeds and I've begun to realize that you can tell a lot about a person by what breed of dog they choose to associate with. A bit self-conscious about your cellulite? A guy with a shar-pei is for you. They're hard to find, but cheaper than lipo." THE BEAUTY OF MENOPAUSE? "I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm going to end up a bald, fat, sweaty, irritable woman with a dry vagina and a full beard who never sleeps and has memory loss so I won't even be able to remember how hot I used to look!" STEPPARENTHOOD? "My mother used to tell me 'you can't buy your kids' love.' Bullshit. You can, and it's exponential. They're like Russian mail-order brides -- the more you spend, the more they love you." WHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY? is Essman's irreverent, refreshingly candid, and hilarious retort to the dubious facts of life that we all face.

Notes on a Scandal

Notes on a Scandal PDF Author: Zoë Heller
Publisher: Picador
ISBN: 1429912170
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 284

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Book Description
Shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize Zoë Heller's Notes on a Scandal ("A deliciously perverse, laugh-out-loud-funny novel." --Vogue) is a major motion picture from Fox Searchlight starring Cate Blanchett and Judi Dench Schoolteacher Barbara Covett has led a solitary life until Sheba Hart, the new art teacher at St. George's, befriends her. But even as their relationship develops, so too does another: Sheba has begun an illicit affair with an underage male student. When the scandal turns into a media circus, Barbara decides to write an account in her friend's defense--and ends up revealing not only Sheba's secrets, but also her own.

Demystifying Bra Fitting and Construction

Demystifying Bra Fitting and Construction PDF Author: Norma Loehr
Publisher: Orange Lingerie LLC
ISBN: 9780989246118
Category : Crafts & Hobbies
Languages : en
Pages : 156

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Book Description
Custom bras are wonderful sewing projects. They are easy to make, fit perfectly, and can be worn every day. But until now, the techniques of custom bra making have been difficult to access. Demystifying Bra Fitting and Construction reveals the secrets of bra couturiers, teaching you what you have always wanted to know about fitting and sewing your own bras. Professional custom bra maker Norma Loehr breaks down the fitting and construction process into simple, easy to follow steps so you can get great results on your bra making projects. With easy-to-follow instructions, color photos, and a guide to sourcing materials, this book has everything you need to make your own professional looking bras in no time at all. Whether you are a home sewer or an aspiring lingerie designer, this book is for you! "Not only does custom bra maker Norma Loehr sew wonderfully, she's smart - so her well thought out and beautifully presented work on bra making has resulted in a book that inspires and educates." Susan Khalje, Author, Bridal Couture and Linen and Cotton and Contributing Editor for Threads Magazine "I've had the privilege of testing Norma's book before its release, and it's an absolute must buy for anyone interested in sewing their own bras (seriously, there's one gem of bridge fitting advice in there alone that's worth the purchase price!)." Melissa Fehr, Fehrtrade.com

Off the Menu

Off the Menu PDF Author: Stacey Ballis
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101581093
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416

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Book Description
As the executive culinary assistant to celebrity Chicago chef Patrick Conlon, Alana Ostermann works behind the scenes—and that’s just the way she likes it. But with developing recipes for Patrick’s cookbooks, training his sous chefs, picking out the perfect birthday gifts for his ex-mother-in-law, and dealing with the fallout from his romantic escapades, she barely has a personal life, much less time to spend with her combo platter of a mutt, Dumpling. Then a fluke online connection brings her RJ, a transplant from Tennessee, who adds some Southern spice to her life. Suddenly Alana’s priorities shift, and Patrick—and Dumpling—find themselves facing a rival for her time and affection. With RJ in the mix, and some serious decisions to make about her personal and professional future, Alana must discover the perfect balance of work and play, money and meaning, to bring it all to the table—one delicious dish at a time… INCLUDES RECIPES

Survival of the Thickest

Survival of the Thickest PDF Author: Michelle Buteau
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982122595
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 304

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Book Description
*Soon to be a comedy series on Netflix!* From the stand-up comedian, actress, and host beloved for her cheeky swagger, unique voice, and unapologetic frankness comes a book of “zesty and hilarious” (Publishers Weekly) essays for fans of Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by Mindy Kaling and We’re Going to Need More Wine by Gabrielle Union. If you’ve watched television or movies in the past couple of years, you’ve seen Michelle Buteau. With scene-stealing roles in Always Be My Maybe, First Wives Club, Someone Great, Russian Doll, and Tales of the City; a reality TV show and breakthrough stand-up specials, including her headlining show Welcome to Buteaupia on Netflix; and two podcasts (Late Night Whenever and Adulting), Michelle’s star is on the rise. You’d be forgiven for thinking the road to success—or adulthood or financial stability or self-acceptance or marriage or motherhood—has been easy, but you’d be wrong. Now, in Survival of the Thickest, Michelle reflects on growing up Caribbean, Catholic, and thick in New Jersey, going to college in Miami (where everyone smells like pineapple), her many friendship and dating disasters, working as a newsroom editor during 9/11, getting started in stand-up opening for male strippers, marrying into her husband’s Dutch family, IVF and surrogacy, motherhood, chosen family, and what it feels like to have a full heart, tight jeans, and stardom finally in her grasp.

Only Dead on the Inside

Only Dead on the Inside PDF Author: James Breakwell
Publisher: BenBella Books
ISBN: 194464864X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 200

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Book Description
It's not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay. There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That's hell on earth, even without the zombies. Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for the rest of us. Written by professional comedy writer and amateur father-of-four James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), Only Dead on the Inside blends traditional parenting advice with zombie survival tips, bringing together two totally unrelated genres in a book no one asked for but everyone needs. This step-by-step manual teaches you how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead. Motivated moms and dads want it all, and that won't change at the end of the world. There's no reason you can't be a zombie killing machine AND parent of the year, but you have to work for it. If you want to make sure your family is apocalypse-ready, Only Dead on the Inside is your best―and only―chance at survival. No pressure, but if you don't read this book, your children will die.