Author: Dan Patterson
Publisher: Boxtree
ISBN: 1743032196
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 229
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Book Description
Mock The Week: 1001 Scenes We'd Like To See is the funniest, rudest book of the summer, packed with enough one-liners to fill a whole new series. If you've ever wondered what would be a bad thing to say at a state banquet, or need advice on slogans you shouldn't have tattooed on your arse, then this book will prove invaluable. Collecting together the best one-liners from two bestselling Mock the Week books, categories include: UNSUCCESSFUL PERSONAL ADS: Companion required for long sessions of Sudoku. No timewasters. GREETINGS CARDS THAT WOULDN'T SELL: Sorry About Your Face. UNLIKELY MEDICAL LABELS: May cause diarrhoea, dysentery, flatulence, piles and other hilarious bottom-related ailments. UNLIKELY CROSSWORD CLUES: Apricot knee Simon - well a nun might if the Zeppelin has grown its own Byzantium (16,8) LINES YOU'D NEVER SEE IN A JAMES BOND BOOK: '"James, he's using the diamonds to divert a giant laser onto New York from outer space." Bond took the bottle out of M's shaking hand and helped her off the floor into bed.'
Author: Dara O Briain
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781860513664
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :
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Book Description
Author: Dan Patterson
Publisher: Boxtree
ISBN: 174353471X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 223
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Book Description
Modern life is a minefield. Fortunately, the creators of Mock the Week are here to give you advice on the important things in life: from office etiquette to camping holidays, the worst things to hear while sitting on the toilet - and what not to say when passing through Customs . . . Categories include: Unlikely Things to Hear at a Funeral: 'Could whoever that is stop knocking, I'm trying to do the Eulogy!' Unlikely Things to Say on Your First Day in Prison: 'How thoughtful! Someone's left a bucket of chocolate mousse in the corner of my cell.' Guide to Keeping Tropical Fish: For a special treat, pour a smoothie slowly into the fish tank. They love that. Mountaineering Tips: Try to make sure you are accompanied by an experienced mountaineer or, failing that, someone really fat who will make for a soft landing. Medical Self-Diagnosis: If it comes out faster than gravity would normally allow, then there's something wrong.
Author: Steve Punt
Publisher: Orion
ISBN: 1409138267
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 189
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Book Description
The must-have look at the world from the team behind Radio 4's THE NOW SHOW. THE NOW SHOW BOOK boldly tackles all the superlatives that other books avoid. It does this by means of making stuff up and scrupulously avoiding too much research, insight, or fact. Unless the fact is funnier. And legal to mention. Split into illuminating subject sections, categories include: Biggest Scare Story Worst Political Gaffe Most Hated Corporate Jargon Most Annoying Recorded Announcement Most Stressful Special Occasion Most Baffling Commercial Most Inaccurate Weather Forecast - and many more! With Marcus Brigstocke and Mitch Benn adding their own fine touches, this book is a fascinating, engrossing - and brilliantly entertaining - look at the modern world ...
Author: Gary Delaney
Publisher: Headline
ISBN: 1472277449
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118
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Book Description
'For a collection of good old-fashioned gags, it's one of the best out there, a rich buffet of inventive wordplay that's best savoured a little at a time to fully appreciate the joy of these perfectly-constructed morsels. For original, hilarious gags you'll want to share, this is the real deal.' - Chortle 'A rollicking joyride. . . Pundamentalist has puns for the whole family: rude ones, daft ones, deft ones, stinkers and absolute belters.' - British Comedy Guide Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock the Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. Featuring the likes of: Garden centres can't reopen fast enough for me, I've been living on borrowed thyme. We can't even afford a garden, so when my girlfriend bought us a trampoline I hit the roof. Sure everyone cares about straws killing dolphins now, but they've been breaking camels' backs for years. Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, which explains why Prince Andrew is so stupid. Sad news: The British simile champion has died. We shall not see his like again. My mom doesn't trust my dad's secretary. I asked her why, and she just said 'I've seen her type before'. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt 'n' pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. My French pen friend just said 'Le Monde', which means the world to me. Can anyone tell me what FOMO stands for? Everyone else seems to know. Actors have got Equity, Magicians have got the Magic Circle, but it's a shame ventriloquists don't have anyone to speak for them. Does anyone know if it's safe to dye your pubes? It's a bit of a grey area. And make sure you look out for Gary's next book, about Stockholm Syndrome: it starts off badly but by the end you'll really enjoy it . . .
Author: Lucy Tweed
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
ISBN: 1761062395
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 502
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Book Description
Lucy has a special gift. Everything she touches turns to magical, sparkling loveliness.' Donna Hay Some days you want to cook; other days the goal is simply 'food in mouths'. Welcome to Every Night of the Week, a cookbook for people who don't like hard-and-fast recipes, by food and recipe writer, stylist and Instagram genie Lucy Tweed. MONDAY has potential. There are lists and ideas. The herbs are fresh and the fridge is full. TUESDAY the week has begun. Can we have efficient and beautifully delicious please? WEDNESDAY we wonder what day it is. Cook with a dash of laziness; it tastes great. THURS ... we're not even typing the full day anymore. What's in the freezer? What can we pimp? FRIDAY is family fun. 'Decorate' your own pizza, kids, or DIY san choy bau. Time to exhale. SATURDAY is the flex day, time to stretch the repertoire. Hmm, who's around for lunch? SUNDAY is for brunch and linner; two leisurely meals, eaten in absolute comfort. THAT EXTRA DAY YOU WISHED FOR is the secret day that will save your bacon Tues-Thurs. 'My signature dish is Lucy's recipe that she taught me in less than an hour. But don't tell anyone; I get a lot of compliments.' Wil Anderson
Author: Janet Mock
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501145797
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 256
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Book Description
The writer, TV host, and advocate examines her life and career, including the challenges of being trans, a woman, and a person of color.
Author: Brenda Woods
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0147514304
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
Coretta Scott King Honor winner Brenda Woods’ moving, uplifting story of a girl finally meeting the African American side of her family explores racism and how it feels to be biracial, and celebrates families of all kinds. Violet is biracial, but she lives with her white mother and sister, attends a mostly white school in a white town, and sometimes feels like a brown leaf on a pile of snow. Now that she’s eleven, she feels it’s time to learn about her African American heritage, so she seeks out her paternal grandmother. When Violet is invited to spend two weeks with her new Bibi (Swahili for "grandmother") and learns about her lost heritage, her confidence in herself grows and she discovers she’s not a shrinking Violet after all. From a Coretta Scott King Honor-winning author, this is a powerful story about a young girl finding her place in the world.
Author: Dara O Briain
Publisher: Scholastic UK
ISBN: 1407191322
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 311
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Book Description
A brand-new book from the UK and Ireland's best-loved comedian, Dara O Briain! So you think everyday life is boring?! WHAT?! Hoo-ee, are you wrong! No, seriously. There's so much EXTRAORDINARY science going on right from the minute you wake up to when you go to sleep. Actually, while you're asleep, too. Science is a non-stop EVERYWHERE, everything adventure with some incredibly cool stuff going on, too. You've got your incredible brain, which has worked out how to read these words and make playing a video game feel as EXCITING as real life; you've got aeroplanes that can somehow get from the ground into the sky with all those people AND their luggage on board; you've got electricity and artificial intelligence and GPS and buses coming in threes (that's science too) and LOADS more. In Secret Science, Dara O Briain takes you on a journey from the comfort of your favourite chair to the incredible science behind your everyday life and on into the future!
Author: Raymond M. Smullyan
Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
ISBN: 0192801422
Category : Games & Activities
Languages : en
Pages : 258
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Book Description
The author of Forever Undecided, Raymond Smullyan continues to delight and astonish us with his gift for making available, in the thoroughly pleasurable form of puzzles, some of the most important mathematical thinking of our time.
