Killing Bridezilla

Killing Bridezilla PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758278837
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 315

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Book Description
When writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows for the ultimate Bridezilla, "I do's" soon become "I wish I hadn't's"--and curtains for the bride spell a veil of woes for Jaine. . . Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to evoke Romeo and Juliet. . .except without the "downer" of an ending. Even worse than the assignment itself is dealing with Patti as a client. At least Jaine's not alone, as nobody can stand the demanding, spoiled, and incredibly rude Bridezilla from Hell. Patti's managed to rack up an amazingly long list of enemies in a short time, not the least of whom include her prospective mother-in-law, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Patti's stolen soon-to-be groom, and just about everyone involved in the wedding preparations. So it isn't a complete surprise when the erstwhile Juliet plunges to her death during her balcony scene. The loosened bolts that brought down the bride were clearly an act of sabotage--what's not so obvious is whom, among Patti's numerous haters, committed this murder most foul. Was it the caterer she threatened to ruin? The bridesmaid tossed out of the wedding party for being too chubby? Jaine's determined to learn the truth--if only to end the hideous walk down memory lane kicked off by her association with Patti. Between fending off advances from the nerd of her high school nightmares and figuring out ways to stop Prozac the cat from corrupting the victim's pet Poodle, Jaine's involvement in this case keeps veering between comedy and tragedy. That is, until another body is discovered--and the killer starts laying plot for a final act--starring Jaine. . .

Killing Bridezilla

Killing Bridezilla PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758278837
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 315

Get Book Here

Book Description
When writer-for-hire Jaine Austen signs on to script vows for the ultimate Bridezilla, "I do's" soon become "I wish I hadn't's"--and curtains for the bride spell a veil of woes for Jaine. . . Jaine's accepted her share of lame gigs to pay the bills, but rewriting Shakespeare's got to be an all-time low. The fiasco begins with a call from Jaine's high-school nemesis, uber rich uber witch Patti Devane. It seems Patti will soon be sashaying down the aisle with another former classmate from Hermosa High, and she'd like the exchange of vows to evoke Romeo and Juliet. . .except without the "downer" of an ending. Even worse than the assignment itself is dealing with Patti as a client. At least Jaine's not alone, as nobody can stand the demanding, spoiled, and incredibly rude Bridezilla from Hell. Patti's managed to rack up an amazingly long list of enemies in a short time, not the least of whom include her prospective mother-in-law, the soon-to-be ex-wife of Patti's stolen soon-to-be groom, and just about everyone involved in the wedding preparations. So it isn't a complete surprise when the erstwhile Juliet plunges to her death during her balcony scene. The loosened bolts that brought down the bride were clearly an act of sabotage--what's not so obvious is whom, among Patti's numerous haters, committed this murder most foul. Was it the caterer she threatened to ruin? The bridesmaid tossed out of the wedding party for being too chubby? Jaine's determined to learn the truth--if only to end the hideous walk down memory lane kicked off by her association with Patti. Between fending off advances from the nerd of her high school nightmares and figuring out ways to stop Prozac the cat from corrupting the victim's pet Poodle, Jaine's involvement in this case keeps veering between comedy and tragedy. That is, until another body is discovered--and the killer starts laying plot for a final act--starring Jaine. . .

Pampered to Death

Pampered to Death PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758279728
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 288

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Book Description
When freelance writer Jaine Austen is surprised with an über-luxe spa getaway, she and her feline pal Prozac are eager to hit the road and bask in a week of pampering and pedicures. But what she gets is a California fat farm in disguise, complete with celery-juice cocktails, humiliating weigh-ins, and a zero-tolerance position on carbs. Among her bulge-battling companions is Mallory Francis, a B-list movie star with a knack for making frenemies. When she's found strangled during a seaweed wrap gone awry, Jaine is hard-pressed to think of anyone who couldn't have done it. While the suspects mount faster than her hunger pangs, Jaine's search for truth, justice and contraband calories leads her straight to a cold-blooded killer--where murder may be on the menu once again. . . "Her books are so outrageously funny, they always make me laugh out loud."--Joanne Fluke Praise for Laura Levine's Jaine Austen series "Delightful. . .Jaine's wit shines throughout." --Publishers Weekly on Pampered to Death "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." --New York Journal of Books on Death of a Trophy Wife "This will turn out to be a long series. . .likely to be compared to Janet Evanovich for its humor." --I Love a Mystery on This Pen for Hire

Death of a Neighborhood Witch

Death of a Neighborhood Witch PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Books
ISBN: 0758238509
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 316

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Book Description
Reprinted Edition "I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny." --Joanne Fluke When Jaine Austen's beloved cat Prozac unwittingly scares to death a parakeet belonging to the neighborhood's resident curmudgeon, Jaine finds herself knee-deep in toil and trouble. The cantankerous Hollywood has-been once played Cryptessa Muldoon, television's fourth most famous monster mom. Now she spends her days making enemies with everyone on the block. So when the ornery D-lister is murdered with her own Do Not Trespass sign on Halloween night, the neighborhood fills with relief--and possible culprits. With a killer on the loose, Jaine hardly has time to fall under the spell of her yummy new neighbor, Peter. As the prime suspect, she summons her sleuthing skills to clear her name and soon discovers that everyone has a few skeletons in their closets. . . "Levine's latest finds her at her witty and wacky best." --Kirkus Reviews "Cozy fans will enjoy seeing how Jaine wiggles out of this one." --Publishers Weekly

Murder Buys a One-Way Ticket

Murder Buys a One-Way Ticket PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Books
ISBN: 1496728211
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
Freelance writer and long‑time Ben & Jerry’s addict Jaine Austen uncovers murderers on the mean streets of Beverly Hills, with a little help from her snarky cat, Prozac, in this witty mystery series from acclaimed TV comedy writer and novelist Laura Levine—a lighthearted treat for cat cozy fans and readers of Joanne Fluke, Miranda James, and Laura Childs. What could be more idyllic than starting a new gig with an exclusive train ride from Los Angeles to Santa Barbara? Turns out, a whole lot. Jaine must figure out how to tolerate her client—Chip Miller, aka Iron Man, a wealthy gym chain owner—who Jaine soon discovers is a tyrant and a bully with an ego as pumped as his pecs. Practically everyone on board seems to have it in for Chip—his dysfunctional family members, his beleaguered staff, even his supposed best buddy from the gym. So it’s no shocker when he’s found dead in his cabin. Unfortunately for Jaine, she’s the one who finds Chip’s body, leaving her DNA on the murder weapon, and making her a prime suspect in the police investigation. Forced to save her own caboose, can Jaine chug on through an unexpected love connection and ID the killer—or has she finally reached the end of the line?

Death of a Trophy Wife

Death of a Trophy Wife PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758272227
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320

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Book Description
Without a job or a date in sight, freelance writer Jaine Austen is equally out of luck in finance and romance. So when her friend Lance offers to treat her to brunch at the Four Seasons, Jaine leaps at the invite. They've barely made it through the menu when Lance spots his friend Bunny, who is the new trophy wife of mattress maven Marvin Cooper. When Bunny generously offers Jaine a gig writing Marv's new advertising campaign, Jaine accepts the job, and an invitation to her upcoming soirée. But at the party Bunny cruelly rules the Cooper mansion and before the evening is over, someone poisons Bunny. The police arrest Lance, but Jaine knows his murderous urges end at her closet door. Setting out to clear his name, she soon discovers a list of suspects longer than Bunny's credit card bill. . . "Zany. . .series fans will find Jaine as funny as ever." --Publishers Weekly "If you love a good mystery, this book is for you." --New York Journal of Books

Death by Pantyhose

Death by Pantyhose PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 1617731307
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320

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Book Description
I'm crazy about Laura Levine's mystery series. Her books are so outrageously funny. --Joanne Fluke Freelance writer Jaine Austen has never been able to resist the siren call of an Eskimo Pie, just like she can't resist renewing her romance with Andrew, an old crush. With her bank account hitting new lows, she's also just agreed to write jokes for Dorcas, a stand-up comic who throws her pantyhose into the audience as a punch line. Not only is Dorcas's act a bomb, she is heckled by Vic, a gorgeous fellow comic. Naturally when Vic is murdered with Dorcas's pantyhose and that same Dorcas is standing over his dead body, the police arrest. . .Dorcas. They figure it's an open-and-shut case, although Jaine figures no killer can be that dumb. But when Jaine sets out to find the real culprit, she is distracted by one dating disaster after another with Andrew--and she may not see the dark side of comedy until she faces the business end of a gun and a cold, deadly grin. . . "Fun. . .Jaine's dogged sleuthing and screwball antics will entertain fans of this fizzy series." --Publishers Weekly

Last Writes

Last Writes PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Publishing Corp.
ISBN: 0758278829
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 267

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Book Description
Wisecracking pen-for-hire Jaine Austen is back--and she's about to discover that working on the set of a Hollywood sitcom is no laughing matter. . . Jaine still hasn't found a good man--or a way to keep all those sugary snacks from going straight to her hips. But--with a little help from her best friend Kandi--she's finally landed a gig as a sitcom writer! True, Muffy 'n Me (aka "Bewitched with Tits") isn't going to win any Emmys. And her office at Miracle Studios needs a little sprucing up, and a few dozen rat traps. But it sure beats writing boring brochures and bad resumes, so Jaine's not complaining. Until the plot thickens--with murder. . . Jaine figures the trouble all started when Muffy 'n Me's hottest star, gorgeous Quinn Kirkland, seduced the head writer--whose husband also works on the show. But when Quinn's caught in bed with the barely-legal actress who plays his niece, things really heat up--and his many jealous girlfriends start to figure things out. . . So when the no-good heartthrob drops dead after nibbling a poisoned doughnut, Jaine isn't terribly surprised. But who could have done it? A competitive co-star and a couple of scorned lovers top Jaine's list of suspects, but the police have zeroed in on her man-crazy pal Kandi. She fell hard for Quinn--and nearly fell apart when she learned of all his other women. Now Jaine has to figure out who finally stopped Quinn's cheatin' heart--before her best friend ends up behind bars. . .

Death of a Gigolo

Death of a Gigolo PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington
ISBN: 1496708539
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 273

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Book Description
It's homicide on the funny side as freelance writer and long-time Ben & Jerry's addict Jaine Austen battles crime (and cellulite) on the mean streets of Beverly Hills! Freelance writer Jaine Austen's life is suddenly full of romance. For one thing, she's reconnected with her ex--though her cat, Prozac, isn't happy about it. And Jaine's also got a new ghostwriting gig, working on a steamy novel called Fifty Shades of Turquoise... Daisy Kincaid is in her sixties and heiress to a fortune. Now she wants to make a name for herself as a romance author...with a little help from Jaine, that is. As Jaine labors away on love scenes, she gets to know the wealthy woman's gentleman friend, her household staff, and her social circle--every one of whom is horrified when Daisy falls under the spell of a much younger stud named Tommy, a rude, crude lothario who's made himself a fixture in Daisy's Bel Air mansion. After Tommy and Daisy shock everyone by announcing their engagement, it doesn't take long for someone to stab him in the neck--with the solid gold Swiss Army knife that Daisy gave him as a gift. But to narrow down the list of suspects, Jaine will have to put a bookmark in that love story--and focus all her creative talent into untangling a tale of money and murder...

Wife, Inc.

Wife, Inc. PDF Author: Suzanne Leonard
Publisher: NYU Press
ISBN: 1479802514
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 263

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Book Description
A fascinating look at the changing role of wives in modern America After a half century of battling for gender equality, women have been freed from the necessity of securing a husband for economic stability, sexual fulfillment, or procreation. Marriage is a choice, and increasingly women (and men) are opting out. Yet despite these changes, the cultural power of marriage has burgeoned. What was once an obligation has become an exclusive club into which heterosexual women with the right amount of self-discipline may win entry. The newly exalted professionalized wife is no longer reliant on her husband’s status or money; instead she can wield her own power provided she can successfully manage the business of being a wife. Wife, Inc. tells a fiercely contemporary story revealing that today’s wives do not labor in kitchens or even homes. Instead, the work of wifedom occurs in online dating sites, on reality television, in social media, and on the campaign trail. Dating, marital commitment, and married life have been reconfigured. No longer the stuff of marriage vows, these realms are now controlled by brand management and marketability. To prosper, women must appear confident, empowered, and sexually savvy. Guiding readers through the stages of the “wife-cycle,” Suzanne Leonard follows women as they date, prepare to wed, and toil as wives, using examples from popular television, film, and literature, as well as mass market news, women’s magazines, new media, and advice culture. The first major study to focus on this new definition of “working wives,” Wife, Inc. reveals how marriage occupies a newly professionalized role in the lives of American women. Being a wife is a business that takes a lot more than a vow to maintain—this book tells that story.

Nightmare on Elf Street

Nightmare on Elf Street PDF Author: Laura Levine
Publisher: Kensington Cozies
ISBN: 149674330X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 118

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Book Description
A delightful holiday cozy mystery which originally appeared in the Fern Michaels holiday collection, Secret Santa, is made available as an e-book single for the very first time! Aside from the mortifying costume, how bad can a gig as a mall Santa’s elf be? Jaine Austen finds out when she’s teamed up with the Santa from Hell. But things go from bad to worse when he’s found murdered on the job—and Jaine is a suspect. Now all she wants for Christmas is to find the real killer . . .