I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie PDF Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792482
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 384

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Book Description
The Pulitzer Prize–winning film critics offers up more reviews of horrible films. Roger Ebert awards at least two out of four stars to most of the more than 150 movies he reviews each year. But when the noted film critic does pan a movie, the result is a humorous, scathing critique far more entertaining than the movie itself. I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a collection of more than 200 of Ebert’s most biting and entertaining reviews of films receiving a mere star or less from the only film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize. Ebert has no patience for these atrocious movies and minces no words in skewering the offenders. Witness: Armageddon * (1998)—The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out. The Beverly Hillbillies * (1993)—Imagine the dumbest half-hour sitcom you’ve ever seen, spin it out to ninety-three minutes by making it even more thin and shallow, and you have this movie. It’s appalling. North no stars (1994)—I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. Police Academy no stars (1984)—It’s so bad, maybe you should pool your money and draw straws and send one of the guys off to rent it so that in the future, whenever you think you’re sitting through a bad comedy, he could shake his head, chuckle tolerantly, and explain that you don't know what bad is. Dear God * (1996)—Dear God is the kind of movie where you walk out repeating the title, but not with a smile. The movies reviewed within I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie are motion pictures you’ll want to distance yourself from, but Roger Ebert’s creative and comical musings on those films make for a book no movie fan should miss.

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie

I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie PDF Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792482
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 384

Get Book Here

Book Description
The Pulitzer Prize–winning film critics offers up more reviews of horrible films. Roger Ebert awards at least two out of four stars to most of the more than 150 movies he reviews each year. But when the noted film critic does pan a movie, the result is a humorous, scathing critique far more entertaining than the movie itself. I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie is a collection of more than 200 of Ebert’s most biting and entertaining reviews of films receiving a mere star or less from the only film critic to win the Pulitzer Prize. Ebert has no patience for these atrocious movies and minces no words in skewering the offenders. Witness: Armageddon * (1998)—The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out. The Beverly Hillbillies * (1993)—Imagine the dumbest half-hour sitcom you’ve ever seen, spin it out to ninety-three minutes by making it even more thin and shallow, and you have this movie. It’s appalling. North no stars (1994)—I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. Police Academy no stars (1984)—It’s so bad, maybe you should pool your money and draw straws and send one of the guys off to rent it so that in the future, whenever you think you’re sitting through a bad comedy, he could shake his head, chuckle tolerantly, and explain that you don't know what bad is. Dear God * (1996)—Dear God is the kind of movie where you walk out repeating the title, but not with a smile. The movies reviewed within I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie are motion pictures you’ll want to distance yourself from, but Roger Ebert’s creative and comical musings on those films make for a book no movie fan should miss.

A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length

A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length PDF Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449417574
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 286

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Book Description
More of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews. A Horrible Experience of Unbearable Length collects more than 200 of his reviews from 2006 to 2012 in which he gave movies two stars or fewer. Known for his fair-minded and well-written film reviews, Roger is at his razor-sharp humorous best when skewering bad movies. Consider this opener for the one-star Your Highness: “Your Highness is a juvenile excrescence that feels like the work of 11-year-old boys in love with dungeons, dragons, warrior women, pot, boobs, and four-letter words. That this is the work of David Gordon Green beggars the imagination. One of its heroes wears the penis of a minotaur on a string around his neck. I hate it when that happens.” And finally, the inspiration for the title of this book, the one-star Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a doglike robot humping the leg of the heroine. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie and Your Movie Sucks, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, were bestsellers. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel. Movie buffs and humor lovers alike will relish this treasury of movies so bad that you may just want to see them for a good laugh!

Your Movie Sucks

Your Movie Sucks PDF Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792156
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 364

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Book Description
A collection of some of the Pulitzer Prize–winning film critic’s most scathing reviews, from Alex & Emma to the remake of Yours, Mine, and Ours. From Roger’s review of Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (0 stars): “The movie created a spot of controversy in February 2005. According to a story by Larry Carroll of MTV News, Rob Schneider took offense when Patrick Goldstein of the Los Angeles Times listed this year's Best Picture nominees and wrote that they were 'ignored, unloved, and turned down flat by most of the same studios that . . . bankroll hundreds of sequels, including a follow-up to Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, a film that was sadly overlooked at Oscar time because apparently nobody had the foresight to invent a category for Best Running Penis Joke Delivered by a Third-Rate Comic.' Schneider retaliated by attacking Goldstein in full-page ads in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. In an open letter to Goldstein, Schneider wrote: “Well, Mr. Goldstein, I decided to do some research to find out what awards you have won. I went online and found that you have won nothing. Absolutely nothing. No journalistic awards of any kind . . . . Maybe you didn’t win a Pulitzer Prize because they haven’t invented a category for Best Third-Rate, Unfunny Pompous Reporter Who’s Never Been Acknowledged by His Peers . . . .” Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor but lost to Jar-Jar Binks. But Schneider is correct, and Patrick Goldstein has not yet won a Pulitzer Prize. Therefore, Goldstein is not qualified to complain that Columbia financed Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo while passing on the opportunity to participate in Million Dollar Baby, Ray, The Aviator, Sideways, and Finding Neverland. As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.” Roger Ebert’s I Hated Hated Hated This Movie, which gathered some of his most scathing reviews, was a bestseller. This collection continues the tradition, reviewing not only movies that were at the bottom of the barrel, but also movies that he found underneath the barrel.

Life Itself

Life Itself PDF Author: Roger Ebert
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446584983
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 353

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Book Description
Named one of the 100 greatest film books of all time by The Hollywood Reporter, this singular, warm-hearted, inspiring look at life itself is "the best thing Mr. Ebert has ever written" (Janet Maslin, New York Times). "To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this, and am happy I lived long enough to find it out." Roger Ebert was the best-known film critic of his time. He began reviewing films for the Chicago Sun-Times in1967, and was the first film critic ever to win a Pulitzer Prize. He appeared on television for four decades. In 2006, complications from thyroid cancer treatment resulted in the loss of his abi)lity to eat, drink, or speak. But with the loss of his voice, Ebert became a more prolific and influential writer. And in Life Itself he told the full, dramatic story of his life and career. In this candid, personal history, Ebert chronicled it all: his loves, losses, and obsessions; his struggle and recovery from alcoholism; his marriage; his politics; and his spiritual beliefs. He wrote about his years at the Sun-Times, his colorful newspaper friends, and his life-changing collaboration with Gene Siskel. He shared his insights into movie stars and directors like John Wayne and Martin Scorsese. This is a story that only Roger Ebert could tell, filled with the same deep insight, dry wit, and sharp observations that his readers have long cherished,

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Quintessential Collection of Notable Quotables

Uncle John's Bathroom Reader Quintessential Collection of Notable Quotables PDF Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 160710671X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 452

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Book Description
An all-new follow up quotation book to 2004’s Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader Colossal Collection of Quotable Quotes, complete with indexes by name and by subject for easy reference. Here it is: the quintessential collection of notable quotes for all occasions. Grouped together in weird categories as only Uncle John could do, you’ll find quotes about farts, firsts, dogs, Canada, male chauvinist pigs, colors, TV, aliens, and more! And not just quotes, either--there are great facts, fun quizzes, and a few longer articles about how quotations shape our world. As if that weren’t enough, there are a ton of eye-opening new entries for Uncle John’s Quotationary. (Love: “Being stupid together.” --Paul Valery) And to make it easier than ever to find the exact quote you’re looking for, there is a by-subject index as well a by-name index. Here are but a few of the thousands of great quotations awaiting you: * “I don’t really care what I’m famous for.” --Jessica Simpson * “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” --Charlie Chaplin * “The way that I feel about music is there is no right and wrong. Only true and false.” --Fiona Apple * “One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.” --A. A. Milne * “Bears are crazy. They’ll bite your head if you’re wearing a steak on it.” --Space Ghost * “I don’t mind not being president. I just mind that someone else is.” --Ted Kennedy * “If little else, the brain is an educational toy.” --Tom Robbins

Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever

Uncle John's New & Improved Funniest Ever PDF Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1684123925
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 389

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Book Description
The popular bathroom reader series is back with this collection that’s flush with laughs. It’s new, it’s improved, it’s the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So, whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at: ·Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. ·Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh. ·Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” ·Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. ·Job lingo: If you hear an ER doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “very intoxicated patient.” ·Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” —Pat Summerall And much, much more

Scratch Trivia - Movies

Scratch Trivia - Movies PDF Author: Trip Payne
Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company
ISBN: 9781402742033
Category : Games & Activities
Languages : en
Pages : 102

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Book Description
Suitable for the avid movie buff, this book from the Sit and Solve series is filled with intriguing questions about favourite actors, best pictures, great directors, memorable film lines, super screen moments, behind the scenes gossip and Oscar trademark] wins. It comes in a handy size that can slip in to your bag or pocket.

Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson PDF Author: Michael A. Schuman
Publisher: Enslow Publishing, LLC
ISBN: 0766047512
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
Recognized today as one of the most beautiful women in the world, Scarlett Johansson has been acting in movies since she was eight years old. Having appeared in over thirty films, her talents continue to grow and her star continues to rise. In addition to her accomplishments on the screen, Johansson also works with Oxfam, a group of fourteen organizations that fight poverty and oppression across the globe.

Scorn

Scorn PDF Author: Matthew Parris
Publisher: Profile Books
ISBN: 1782832971
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 400

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Book Description
'He's 100% political herpes. Back in six months whatever you do. Or three days, like last time.' Camilla Long on Nigel Farage 'You're as ugly as a salad.' Bulgarian insult 'I'm going to beat him so bad he'll need a shoehorn to put his hat on.' Muhammed Ali There's no pleasure like a perfectly turned put-down (when it's directed at somebody else, of course) but Matthew Parris's Scorn is sharply different from the standard collections. Here are the funniest, sharpest, rudest and most devastating insults in history, from ancient Roman graffiti to the battlefields of Twitter. Drawing on bile from such masters as Dorothy Parker, Elizabeth I, Donald Trump, Groucho Marx, Princess Anne, Winston Churchill, Nigel Farage, Mae West and Alastair Campbell - which form an exchange between voices down the ages - Scorn shows that abuse can be an art form. This collection includes extended literary invective as well as short verbal shin-kicks. Encompassing literature, art, politics, showbiz, marriage, gender, nationality and religion, Matthew Parris's sublime collection is the perfect companion for the festive season, whether you're searching for the perfect elegant riposte, the rudest polite letter ever written, or a brutal verbal sledgehammer.

Bruce Willis

Bruce Willis PDF Author: Sean O'Connell
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 1493076345
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 289

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Book Description
Celebrate the legacy of Bruce Willis's career in a book the Los Angeles Times calls "a thoughtful guide." On a nondescript Wednesday morning in the waning days of March 2023, one of the biggest movie stars on the planet called it quits. No press conference had been organized, the Hollywood trades received no advance notice, and there was a conspicuous lack of the fanfare that usually accompanies such bombshell announcements. Instead, the news that Bruce Willis was retiring from acting came in a simple statement on his ex-wife Demi Moore’s Instagram page—along with the tragic news that Willis was suffering from aphasia, a cognitive disorder that subsequently worsened to become frontotemporal dementia. It was a sad conclusion to the storied career of a man who had at one point been the highest-paid actor in Hollywood. That career is the subject of Sean O’Connell’s definitive survey of Bruce Willis the actor, the cultural icon, and the man. Here, O’Connell compiles exclusive, original interviews with directors who have worked with Willis, as well as film critics and journalists who have analyzed his career, into a celebratory compendium. It also features the author’s analysis of Willis’s films, his career arc, and the industry that made him a star. And it includes capsule reviews of every Bruce Willis film, making this a complete handbook to a true American original.