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Author: Jay Louis
Publisher: Gallery Books
ISBN: 9781416957881
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
Greasy foreheads. Spiky frosted hair. Oiled-up faces dripping with Tag Body Shot spray. Armani Exchange T-shirts and rank cologne wafting off their backs like fetid pollen clouds as they pump their fists and attempt to grind into any hotties nearby. Young beauties oblivious to the hulking monstrosity clutching at their butts like snapping turtles on Red Bull. From sea to douchey sea, ours is a culture plagued by this festering blight. By the dark forces of über-douchebaggery. How did this happen? What can we do to confront the douchebag/hottie plague that rots our collective souls like boils sent by a wrathful and angry God? And how can you recover if you or your loved one is 'bag? Now, for the first time, there is an answer to those questions that haunt our collective will and sap our culture of any claim to societal advance: Why hottie/douchebaggery? Why now? And why are douche-faces so silly? In this book we dissect, analyze, contemplate and mock the rank douchescrotes that pollute our country's hottie supply on a daily basis. Every branch of the douche-tree will be examined. Every corner of our cultural rot will be exposed. And if we can lust after their hotties along the way, then all the better.
Author: Jay Louis
Publisher: Gallery Books
ISBN: 9781416957881
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Get Book Here
Book Description
Greasy foreheads. Spiky frosted hair. Oiled-up faces dripping with Tag Body Shot spray. Armani Exchange T-shirts and rank cologne wafting off their backs like fetid pollen clouds as they pump their fists and attempt to grind into any hotties nearby. Young beauties oblivious to the hulking monstrosity clutching at their butts like snapping turtles on Red Bull. From sea to douchey sea, ours is a culture plagued by this festering blight. By the dark forces of über-douchebaggery. How did this happen? What can we do to confront the douchebag/hottie plague that rots our collective souls like boils sent by a wrathful and angry God? And how can you recover if you or your loved one is 'bag? Now, for the first time, there is an answer to those questions that haunt our collective will and sap our culture of any claim to societal advance: Why hottie/douchebaggery? Why now? And why are douche-faces so silly? In this book we dissect, analyze, contemplate and mock the rank douchescrotes that pollute our country's hottie supply on a daily basis. Every branch of the douche-tree will be examined. Every corner of our cultural rot will be exposed. And if we can lust after their hotties along the way, then all the better.
Author: Tucker Max
Publisher: Citadel
ISBN: 0806535938
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 537
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Book Description
The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."
Author: Harlan Coben
Publisher: Dutton
ISBN: 0451414128
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 482
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Book Description
When she spots her ex-fiancé's photo on an online dating site, NYPD Detective Kat Donovan reaches out to him, hoping to rekindle the past, but her hope turns to suspicion and then terror as an unspeakable conspiracy is revealed.
Author: K.A. Tucker
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476740526
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 384
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Book Description
Sometimes you can’t change—and sometimes you just don’t want to. Read Ben’s side of the Ten Tiny Breaths story in this romantic coming of age novel by the beloved, top-selling indie author praised for her “likeable characters, steamy liaisons, and surprising plot twists” (Kirkus Reviews). Purple-haired, sharp-tongued Reese MacKay knows all about making the wrong choice; she’s made plenty of them in her twenty-odd-years. So when her impulsive, short-lived marriage ends in heartbreak, she decides it’s time for a change. She moves to Miami with the intention of hitting reset on her irresponsible life, and she does quite well…aside from an epically humiliating one-night stand in Cancun with a hot blond bouncer named Ben. Thank God she can get on a plane and leave that mistake behind her. Football scholarship and frat parties with hot chicks? Part of charmer Ben Morris’s plan. Blown knee that kills any hope of a professional football career? So not part of the plan. Luckily Ben has brains to go with his knockout looks and magnetism. After three long years of balancing law school with his job as a bouncer at Penny’s Palace, he’s ready to lead a more mature life—until his first day of work, when he finds himself in the office of that crazy, hot chick he met in Cancun. The one he hasn’t stopped thinking about. If Ben truly were a smart guy, he’d stay clear of Reese. She’s the boss’s stepdaughter and it’s been made very clear that office romances are grounds for dismissal. Plus, rumor has it she’s trouble. The only problem is, he likes trouble, especially when it’s so good-looking…
Author: The Phat Phree
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0767926404
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 194
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Book Description
Target. Observe. Ridicule. You run into them every day—the striped-shirt guy, the karaoke master, the dude with a pencil-thin beard, the guy who won’t shut up about his fantasy football team—characters who annoy, irritate, and incense us all. Based on the wildly popular essay on ThePhatPhree.com by Mike Polk, this book is a look inside the heads of the most infuriating douchebags on Earth. It’s the best of ThePhatPhree.com plus more than fifty all-new, hilarious pieces written by some of your favorite writers from this site. Everyone’s (Least) Favorite, The Striped-Shirt Guy … I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him. I will tell him, “Take it easy on the brakes, champ”! When I do not hook up with a girl at the club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks” and wait in line at another bar, only to strike out again! Your “Cool” High School Teacher … Here are some things I allow in my class that other teachers don’t: eating, drinking, swearing, dancing, smoking, fighting, cell phones, Texas hold ’em, iPods, and sex. Like my Goo Goo Dolls tee? Anyone else here down with the Dolls? No? Me either. I’m just wearing it as a goof. The Guy with Amazing Taste in Music … Personally, I haven’t listened to the radio in fifteen years. If you have ever heard a band on the radio, then I can assure you, I am not a fan. I stopped listening to American music about ten years ago.
Author: Kody Keplinger
Publisher: Poppy
ISBN: 0316191574
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 175
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Book Description
The battle of the sexes is on. Most high school sports teams have rivalries with other schools. At Hamilton High, it's a civil war: the football team versus the soccer team. And for her part,Lissa is sick of it. Her quarterback boyfriend, Randy, is always ditching her to go pick a fight with the soccer team or to prank their locker room. And on three separate occasions Randy's car has been egged while he and Lissa were inside, making out. She is done competing with a bunch of sweaty boys for her own boyfriend's attention. Lissa decides to end the rivalry once and for all: She and the other players' girlfriends go on a hookup strike. The boys won't get any action from them until the football and soccer teams make peace. What they don't count on is a new sort of rivalry: an impossible girls-against-boys showdown that hinges on who will cave to their libidos first. And Lissa never sees her own sexual tension with the leader of the boys, Cash Sterling, coming.
Author: Stieg Larsson
Publisher: Vintage Crime/Black Lizard
ISBN: 0307593673
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 577
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Book Description
#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • In this “thoroughly gripping” (New York Times) continuation of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, Lisbeth Salander lies in critical condition in a Swedish hospital, a bullet in her head. But she's fighting for her life in more ways than one: if and when she recovers, she'll stand trial for three murders. • Also known as the Millennium series In the next installment of the Millennium series, with the help of Mikael Blomkvist, Salander will need to identify those in authority who have allowed the vulnerable, like herself, to suffer abuse and violence. And, on her own, she'll seek revenge—against the man who tried to kill her and against the corrupt government institutions that nearly destroyed her life. Look for the latest book in the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series, The Girl in the Eagle's Talons, coming soon!
Author: Kelley Armstrong
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062077074
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 337
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Book Description
Strange things are happening in Maya's tiny Vancouver Island town. First, her friend Serena, the captain of the swim team, drowns mysteriously in the middle of a calm lake. Then, one year later, mountain lions are spotted rather frequently around Maya's home—and her reactions to them are somewhat . . . unexpected. Her best friend, Daniel, has also been experiencing unexplainable premonitions about certain people and situations. It doesn't help that the new bad boy in town, Rafe, has a dangerous secret, and he's interested in one special part of Maya's anatomy—her paw-print birthmark.
Author: Rosalind Wiseman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101171545
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 216
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Book Description
A debut novel from the bestselling author of Queen Bees and Wannabes! Charlie Healy just wants a drama-free year, but it doesn't seem like she's going to get it. After surviving a middle school packed with mean girls, Charlie is ready to leave all that behind in high school. But then, on her very first day, she runs into her former best friend, Will, who moved away years ago. Now he's back, he's HOT, and he's popular. And he takes Charlie back into the danger zone of the popular crowd. But when a hazing prank goes wrong, Charlie has to decide where her loyalties lie.
Author: Jamie McGuire
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476719071
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 416
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Book Description
Abby Abernathy is re-inventing herself as the good girl as she begins her freshman year at college, which is why she must resist lean, cut, and tattooed Travis Maddox, a classic bad boy.
