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Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091906318
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 466
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Book Description
Arranged thematically--from Class and Character, Sex and Snobbery, to the Foreigner's Eye View--here is the definitive collection of the British nation's funniest quotations. Among the many great and good who dazzle us with their wit are Martin Amis, Jane Austen, Billy Connolly, Quentin Crisp, Roald Dahl, John Lennon, Queen Victoria, and Oscar Wilde.
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091906318
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 466
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Book Description
Arranged thematically--from Class and Character, Sex and Snobbery, to the Foreigner's Eye View--here is the definitive collection of the British nation's funniest quotations. Among the many great and good who dazzle us with their wit are Martin Amis, Jane Austen, Billy Connolly, Quentin Crisp, Roald Dahl, John Lennon, Queen Victoria, and Oscar Wilde.
Author: Michael Powell
Publisher: Robinson
ISBN: 1849016690
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 490
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Book Description
A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper
Author: Benjamin Errett
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698153863
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 258
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Book Description
Got wit? We’ve all been in that situation where we need to say something clever, but innocuous; smart enough to show some intelligence, without showing off; something funny, but not a joke. What we need in that moment is wit—that sparkling combination of charm, humor, confidence, and most of all, the right words at the right time. Elements of Wit is an engaging book that brings together the greatest wits of our time, and previous ones from Oscar Wilde to Nora Ephron, Winston Churchill to Christopher Hitchens, Mae West to Louis CK, and many in between. With chapters covering the essential ingredients of wit, this primer sheds light on how anyone—introverts, extroverts, wallflowers, and bon vivants—can find the right zinger, quip, parry, or retort…or at least be a little bit more interesting.
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 0091917832
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 466
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Book Description
Do you think the world's going to hell in a handcart? Do you reckon the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train? If the answer is a heartfelt yes, you'll feel right at home amongst the malcontents and misanthropes here. Woody Allen, W.C. Fields, Dorothy Parker, Joan Rivers, Jo Brand, Mark Lamarr and Victor Meldrew are just some of the world-class curmudgeons to sound-off hilariously about all the things that make you seethe: traffic wardens, cold callers, caravans, James Blunt, estate agents, other drivers, being put on hold, men in flip-flops and modern art. With over 4,000 entries, this is the most comprehensive collection of grumpiness there has ever been. As for you Pollyannas who persist in looking for silver linings despite dire weather warnings, isn't it about time you woke up and smelt the rancid coffee? Cast off those rose-tinted spectacles, climb on board the handcart and fasten your seatbelts: it's going to be one hell of a grumpy ride.
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
ISBN: 1789290317
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 160
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Book Description
Nobody does irony or sarcasm like the English. The Wicked Wit of England is celebration of British humour, featuring a collection of stories, anecdotes, quips and quotes that capture the various idiosyncrasies of the English character.
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 140702468X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 576
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Book Description
'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do... 'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel 'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd
Author: Dominique Enright
Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
ISBN: 1843175894
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 106
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Book Description
Sir Winston Churchill remains a British hero, lauded for his oratorical skill. He wrote histories, biographies, memoirs, and even a novel, while his journalism, speeches and broadcasts run to millions of words. From 1940 he inspired and united the British people and guided their war effort. Behind the public figure, however, was a man of vast humanity and enormous wit. His most famous speeches and sayings have passed into history but many of his aphorisms, puns and jokes are less well-known. This enchanting collection brings together hundreds of his wittiest remarks as a record of all that was best about this endearing, conceited, talented and wildly funny Englishman. Also available in the series are collections from Shakespeare, To Be or Not To Be, and Oscar Wilde, I Can Resist Everything Except Temptation.
Author: Susan L. Rattiner
Publisher: Courier Corporation
ISBN: 0486111857
Category : Literary Collections
Languages : en
Pages : 81
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Book Description
Over 400 memorable quotes from the last 2,500 years by Sappho, Queen Elizabeth I, Harriet Tubman, Susan B. Anthony, Eleanor Roosevelt, Erma Bombeck, Oprah Winfrey, and many others. A delight!
Author: Margaret Edson
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
ISBN: 1466871830
Category : Drama
Languages : en
Pages : 96
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Book Description
Winner of the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for Drama, the New York Drama Critics Circle Award, the Drama Desk Award, the Outer Critics Circle Award, the Lucille Lortel Award, and the Oppenheimer Award Margaret Edson's powerfully imagined Pulitzer Prize–winning play examines what makes life worth living through her exploration of one of existence's unifying experiences—mortality—while she also probes the vital importance of human relationships. What we as her audience take away from this remarkable drama is a keener sense that, while death is real and unavoidable, our lives are ours to cherish or throw away—a lesson that can be both uplifting and redemptive. As the playwright herself puts it, "The play is not about doctors or even about cancer. It's about kindness, but it shows arrogance. It's about compassion, but it shows insensitivity." In Wit, Edson delves into timeless questions with no final answers: How should we live our lives knowing that we will die? Is the way we live our lives and interact with others more important than what we achieve materially, professionally, or intellectually? How does language figure into our lives? Can science and art help us conquer death, or our fear of it? What will seem most important to each of us about life as that life comes to an end? The immediacy of the presentation, and the clarity and elegance of Edson's writing, make this sophisticated, multilayered play accessible to almost any interested reader. As the play begins, Vivian Bearing, a renowned professor of English who has spent years studying and teaching the intricate, difficult Holy Sonnets of the seventeenth-century poet John Donne, is diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer. Confident of her ability to stay in control of events, she brings to her illness the same intensely rational and painstakingly methodical approach that has guided her stellar academic career. But as her disease and its excruciatingly painful treatment inexorably progress, she begins to question the single-minded values and standards that have always directed her, finally coming to understand the aspects of life that make it truly worth living.
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Languages : en
Pages : 316
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Book Description
