Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes PDF Download
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Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 039916040X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306
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Book Description
From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 039916040X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306
Get Book Here
Book Description
From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Author: Gene Wolfe
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0765302942
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 642
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Book Description
This omnibus of two acclaimed novels is the story of Latro, a Roman mercenary who was fighting in Greece when he received a head injury that deprived him of his short-term memory but gave him in return the ability to see and converse with the supernatural creatures, the gods and goddesses, who invisibly inhabit the classical landscape. Latro forgets everything when he sleeps. Writing down his experiences every day and reading his journal anew each morning gives him a poignantly tenuous hold on himself, but his story's hold on readers is powerful indeed.
Author: Hajime Isayama
Publisher: National Geographic Books
ISBN: 1646513746
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 0
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Book Description
It's never been easier to attack Attack on Titan than with these new, giant-sized 3-in-1 omnibus editions! If you've been waiting for the final anime season to check out the do-or-die shonen adventure that defined a decade, now's your chance. These new books tuck almost 600 pages of manga behind a specially-embossed cover, all in a larger size than the regular version. Includes Vol. 1-3 of Attack on Titan. For eons, humans ruled the natural world. But a century ago, everything changed when the Titans appeared. Giant, grotesque parodies of the human form, these sexless monsters consumed all but a few thousand human beings, who took refuge behind giant walls. Today, the threat of the Titans is a distant memory, and a boy named Eren yearns to explore the world beyond the wall. But what began as a childish dream will become an all-too-real nightmare when a Titan finally knocks a hole in the wall, and humanity is once again on the brink of extinction…
Author: Michael Ayrton
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
ISBN: 022604243X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 323
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Book Description
“I address you across more than three thousand years, you who live at the conjunction of the Fish and the Water-carrier,” speaks Daedalus, an artisan, inventor, and designer born into an utterly alien family of heroes who value acts of war above all else, a world where his fellow Greeks seem driven only to destroy—an existence he feels compelled to escape. In this fictional autobiography of the father of Icarus, “Apollo’s creature,” a brilliant but flawed man, writer and sculptor Michael Ayrton harnesses the tales of the past to mold a myth for our times. We learn of Daedalus’s increasingly ambitious artifacts and inventions; his fascination with Minoan culture, commerce, and religion, and his efforts to adapt to them; how he comes to design the maze of the horned Minotaur; and how, when he decides that he must flee yet again, he builds two sets of wax wings—wings that will be instruments of his descent into the underworld, a place of both purgatory and rebirth. A compelling mix of history, fable, lore, and meditations on the enigma of art, The Maze Maker will ensnare classicists, artists, and all lovers of story in its convolutions of life and legend. “I never understood the pattern of my life,” writes Daedalus, “so that I have blundered through it in a maze.”
Author: Rick Riordan
Publisher: Disney Electronic Content
ISBN: 1484727215
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1036
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Book Description
Humans and half-bloods agree—Percy Jackson and the Olympians is a series fit for heroes! Relive the adventure from the beginning with this eBook set containing the first three books from the best-selling series: The Lighting Thief, The Sea of Monsters, and The Titan's Curse.
Author: Adam Alexander Haviaras
Publisher: Adam Alexander Haviaras
ISBN: 1988309468
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 299
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Book Description
Long ago, when gods and heroes walked the earth in triumph and tragedy, true love and epic deeds were set among the stars... In the city of ancient Corinth, Bellerophon grew up in the corridors of the palace, haunted by his father’s gruesome death, and distrusted and ignored by the rest of his own family. He now spends his life in the shadows of society, and that is how he prefers it. However, the Gods of Olympus have something more in mind for him. After a violent incident in the mountains, Bellerophon is banished from his home for all time. His path leads him to the court of an aged king in Tiryns where he is welcomed at first, but due to the spiteful queen, he is wrongly accused of another crime in a world that seems endlessly cruel. Dejected and uncaring of what happens to him and his hateful life, Bellerophon is sent across the sea to the court of King Iobates of Lykia. At the urging of his seer, the king welcomes Bellerophon as an honoured guest in his home, until he discovers the reason for his arrival. Seeking a way to be rid of Bellerophon, without violating the sacred laws of Zeus, King Iobates commands that he complete three impossible tasks to prove his innocence or bring about his death. With the world set against him, Bellerophon welcomes his imminent end. That is, until he meets the king’s daughter, Philonoe, the only person who has ever believed in him, and whose father has kept a dark secret from for many years. With the Gods and Lykia’s princess on his side, can Bellerophon prove his innocence and help save Lykia and its people? Will he finally accept the fate that the Gods have pressed upon him? Or will he succumb to the despair and hopelessness that have dogged him all of his life? Only by facing his deepest fears and a creature more terrible than any other of the Gods’ creation can Bellerophon truly succeed and become the hero he is meant to be... The Reluctant Hero is an epic retelling of the story of Bellerophon and the Chimera from Greek mythology. It is the fourth book in the Mythologia fantasy series by best-selling and award-winning author and historian, Adam Alexander Haviaras. If you enjoy books by Madeline Miller, Stephen Fry, Natalie Haynes or Jennifer Saint then you will love the Mythologia series. Read The Reluctant Hero today and witness the rise of one of the greatest heroes of the ancient world!
Author: Dyrk Ashton
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780997173789
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 326
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Book Description
Book 1 of the completed Paternus Trilogy Even myths have legends. Described as American Gods meets The Avengers and Supernatural meets The Lord of the Rings, Paternus combines myths from around the world in a modern story of action and intrigue that is "urban fantasy on the surface, but so much more at its core!" "Terrific! Paternus is intelligent, intricate, suspenseful, and epic." -Nicholas Eames, Gemmell Award winning author of Kings of the Wyld and Bloody Rose "Ashton's story is a crucible in which myths are melted and remade to thrilling effect." -M. R. (Mike) Carey, author of The Girl with All the Gifts and the Felix Castor series And not all legends are myth. When a local hospital is attacked by strange and frightening men, Fiona Patterson and Zeke Prisco save a catatonic old man named Peter-and find themselves running for their lives with creatures beyond imagination hounding their every step. With nowhere else to turn, they seek out Fi's enigmatic Uncle Edgar. But the more their questions are answered, the more they discover that nothing is what it seems-not Peter, not Edgar, perhaps not even themselves. The gods and monsters, heroes and villains of lore-they're real. And now they've come out of hiding to hunt their own. In order to survive, Fi and Zeke must join up with powerful allies against an ancient evil that's been known by many names and feared by all. The final battle of the world's oldest war has begun. ***** Genre: Contemporary Fantasy / Urban Fantasy / Mythic Fiction. Market: Adult to New Adult (as opposed to Teen or YA, though savvy 16 or 17 year olds might survive without permanent damage).
Author: Rick Riordan
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 0141352019
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 1384
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Book Description
All five novels in the bestselling, blockbuster Percy Jackson series, collected in one stunning digital edition. I was just a normal kid, going to school, playing basketball, skateboarding. The usual. Until I accidentally vaporized my maths teacher. 'Look, I didn't want to be a Half-Blood. I never asked to be the son of a Greek God.' Percy Jackson: The Complete Series includes all five novels in the action-packed, electrifying series from Rick Riordan: The Lightning Thief, The Sea of Monsters, The Titan's Curse, The Battle of the Labyrinth, and The Last Olympian. Now I spend my time battling monsters and generally trying to stay alive. Angry Gods. Cannibal Giants. Ancient Labyrinths. Untold Evils. It's not easy being a demigod. Rick Riordan has now sold an incredible 55 million copies of his books worldwide The Percy Jackson series has sold over 1.25 million copies in the UK alone
Author: Friedrich Hölderlin
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781783746552
Category : Literary Criticism
Languages : en
Pages : 236
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Book Description
Friedrich Hölderlin's only novel, Hyperion (1797-99), is a fictional epistolary autobiography that juxtaposes narration with critical reflection. Returning to Greece after German exile, following his part in the abortive uprising against the occupying Turks (1770), and his failure as both a lover and a revolutionary, Hyperion assumes a hermitic existence, during which he writes his letters. Confronting and commenting on his own past, with all its joy and grief, the narrator undergoes a transformation that culminates in the realisation of his true vocation. Though Hölderlin is now established as a great lyric poet, recognition of his novel as a supreme achievement of European Romanticism has been belated in the Anglophone world. Incorporating the aesthetic evangelism that is a characteristic feature of the age, Hyperion preaches a message of redemption through beauty. The resolution of the contradictions and antinomies raised in the novel is found in the act of articulation itself. To a degree remarkable in a prose work of any length, what it means is inseparable from how it means. In this skilful translation, Gaskill conveys the beautiful music and rhythms of Hölderlin's language to an English-speaking reader.
Author: Michael Gibson
Publisher: Hippocrene Books
ISBN: 9780856540271
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 156
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Book Description
A collection of myths relating the exploits and adventures of the gods and heroes of ancient Greece.
