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Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 039917348X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.
Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 039917348X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
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Book Description
PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.
Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698186702
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242
Get Book Here
Book Description
PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’s history what it is: one long, violent soap opera. In his signature clever, crude, and cuss-ridden style, O’Brien reminds us that: · Teddy Roosevelt stopped bullets with his manly chest · Harriet Tubman avoided danger by having prophetic seizures. · Joseph Smith invented Mormonism by staring into a hat full of rocks. · Billy the Kid was finally defeated by the smell of fresh bacon. And there’s plenty more Star Spangled stupidity where that came from.
Author: Cory O'Brien
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 039916040X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306
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Book Description
From the creator of Myths Retold comes a hilarious collection of Greek, Norse, Chinese and even Sumerian myths retold in their purest, bawdiest forms! All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Did you know? Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. Still skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.
Author: Heinz Tschachler
Publisher: McFarland
ISBN: 1476681104
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 247
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Book Description
George Washington is the most popular subject on coins, medals, tokens, paper money and postage stamps in America. Attempts to eliminate one-dollar bills from circulation, replacing them with coins, have been unsuccessful. Americans' reluctance to part with their "Georges" are beyond rational considerations but tap into deep-felt emotions. To discard one-dollar bills means discarding the metaphorical Father of His Country. Alexander Hamilton, the nation's first Secretary of the Treasury, said that monetary tokens were "vehicles of useful impressions." This numismatic history of George Washington traces the persistence of his image on American currency. These images are mostly from the late 18th-century. This book also offers a close look at the pictorial tradition in which these images are rooted.
Author: Carla Killough McClafferty
Publisher: Holiday House
ISBN: 0823436977
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 170
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Book Description
The untold story of the enslaved people of Mount Vernon, and the illuminating history that is still being discovered in George Washington's historic home today. When he was eleven years old, George Washington inherited ten human beings. His own life has been well chronicled, but the lives of the people he owned--the people who supported his plantation and were buried in unmarked graves there--have not. Using fascinating primary source material and photographs of historical artifacts, Carla McClafferty sheds light on the lives of several people George Washington owned; the property laws of the day that complicated his decision to free them; and the Cemetery Survey, an archeological dig that is shaping our understanding of Mount Vernon's Slave Cemetery. Poignant and thought-provoking, Buried Lives blends the past with the present in a forward-looking account of a haunting piece of American history. Includes a foreword by Zsun-nee Matema, a descendant one of the enslaved people at Mount Vernon who is highlighted in this book, backmatter outlining the author's sources, and an index. A Junior Library Guild selection A Bank Street Best Children's Book of the Year
Author: Craig Mitchell
Publisher: B B& A Publishers
ISBN: 9780970580412
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 140
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Book Description
From 1776 to 1781 - the key years if the War of the American Revolution - George Washington fought primarily in New Jersey. He battled not only the British army and their Loyalist and Hessian allies, he battled with Congress, with the weather, for food and military supplies, with disease, and with some of his own generals. In New Jersey you can find more open-to-the-public scenes of his actions than in any other state. George Washington's New Jersey leads you through the war and through these houses and battlefields - places like Trenton and Princeton, where Washington's daring nine-day campaign changed the course of world history. Explore homes like the Ford Mansion in Morristown where Martha joined him during the coldest winter of the entire century, far worse than the winter in Valley Forge. Trace the action at the forgotten battle of Springfield, when 6,000 British struck twice, two weeks apart and under two different generals. And America's amateur soldiers stopped them both times! New Jersey was the most fought-over, bloodiest, burnt-out of the thirteen original colonies. It saw more action than any other colony. It was also the most central colony, so that no matter where in America the fighting was, the troops had to cross through New Jersey to get to it. Let George Washington's New Jersey be your guide to this historic ground.
Author: Mary L. Williamson
Publisher: Christian Liberty Press
ISBN: 9781930367913
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 132
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Book Description
Mary L. Williamson gives a unique glimpse into the spiritual life and career of the first President of the United States. Little known and often overlooked aspects of Washington's faith are featured throughout this well-documented book.
Author: Heinz Tschachler
Publisher: McFarland
ISBN: 1476640343
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 247
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Book Description
George Washington is the most popular subject on coins, medals, tokens, paper money and postage stamps in America. Attempts to eliminate one-dollar bills from circulation, replacing them with coins, have been unsuccessful. Americans' reluctance to part with their "Georges" are beyond rational considerations but tap into deep-felt emotions. To discard one-dollar bills means discarding the metaphorical Father of His Country. Alexander Hamilton, the nation's first Secretary of the Treasury, said that monetary tokens were "vehicles of useful impressions." This numismatic history of George Washington traces the persistence of his image on American currency. These images are mostly from the late 18th-century. This book also offers a close look at the pictorial tradition in which these images are rooted.
Author: Alexis Coe
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0735224110
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 306
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Book Description
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER AN NPR CONCIERGE BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR “In her form-shattering and myth-crushing book….Coe examines myths with mirth, and writes history with humor… [You Never Forget Your First] is an accessible look at a president who always finishes in the first ranks of our leaders.” —Boston Globe Alexis Coe takes a closer look at our first--and finds he is not quite the man we remember Young George Washington was raised by a struggling single mother, demanded military promotions, caused an international incident, and never backed down--even when his dysentery got so bad he had to ride with a cushion on his saddle. But after he married Martha, everything changed. Washington became the kind of man who named his dog Sweetlips and hated to leave home. He took up arms against the British only when there was no other way, though he lost more battles than he won. After an unlikely victory in the Revolutionary War cast him as the nation's hero, he was desperate to retire, but the founders pressured him into the presidency--twice. When he retired years later, no one talked him out of it. He left the highest office heartbroken over the partisan nightmare his backstabbing cabinet had created. Back on his plantation, the man who fought for liberty must confront his greatest hypocrisy--what to do with the men, women, and children he owns--before he succumbs to death. With irresistible style and warm humor, You Never Forget Your First combines rigorous research and lively storytelling that will have readers--including those who thought presidential biographies were just for dads--inhaling every page.
Author: George Washington
Publisher: Liberty Fund
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 754
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Book Description
Based almost entirely on materials reproduced from: The writings of George Washington from the original manuscript sources, 1745-1799 / John C. Fitzpatrick, editor. Includes indexes.
