Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061920924
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Get Book

Book Description
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . . Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061920924
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Get Book

Book Description
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . . Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken PDF Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 161

Get Book

Book Description
Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead — six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him … or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths — and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries — pitting the world’s darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

Fat Vampire 2

Fat Vampire 2 PDF Author: Johnny B Truant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781964578019
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book

Book Description
Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him ... or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries - pitting the world's darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

Fat White Vampire Blues

Fat White Vampire Blues PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345464443
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Get Book

Book Description
He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

Bride of the Fat White Vampire

Bride of the Fat White Vampire PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: National Geographic Books
ISBN: 0345464087
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Get Book

Book Description
After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.

Wanted By The Vampires: A Reverse Harem Vampire Romance

Wanted By The Vampires: A Reverse Harem Vampire Romance PDF Author: Erin Bedford
Publisher: Embrace the Fantasy Publishing, LLC
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 217

Get Book

Book Description
Piper and her masters are back with even more troubles than before! This human thought she found the prefect job. All her bills paid, a salary, and dental to boot! Not to forget that her bosses were literally to die for. Piper quickly learned that not everything in the House of Durand was as it seemed and somethings should have been kept hidden. Now thrust into the world of vampires, Piper must navigate the bloodied water while holding onto her heart and her humanity. With surprises around every corner will Piper and her dangerously tempting masters make it through it all unscathed? keywords: paranormal romance, fantasy romance, reverse harem romance, boss employee romance, workplace romance, vampire romance, steamy romance, vampires, alpha heroes, alpha vampires, damsel in distress, mythology, love story, mystery, horror keywords: urban fantasy, paranormal romance, thriller, horror, vampires, mystery, supernatural suspense, reverse harem, why choose, work place romance, maid, boss, vampire romance, mythology

When Life Gives You Vampires

When Life Gives You Vampires PDF Author: Gloria Duke
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1728257468
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 278

Get Book

Book Description
Bridget Jones for the vampire obsessed: fans of Olivia Dade, Tessa Bailey, and Julie Murphy will love to sink their teeth into this charming romantic comedy. Single (plus size) vampire, desperately in search of a life. Twenty-five year old Lily Baines is used to waking up hungover, overweight, and underemployed. Waking up with fangs? Not so much. But when a little light necking has more serious consequences than she ever imagined, Lily's determined to get to the bottom of it, or die (again) trying. Tristan hadn't meant to turn Lily—it's against vampire law—but now that she's here, they need to team up to save both their hides. They strike an uneasy truce, fending off other vampires, Lily's work-rival-turned-slayer, and her mother's tone-deaf romance and fitness advice...all while Lily faces down her insecurities about the fact that she lives in a diet-obsessed world with a body that will never age, never die, and never change. Falling for her maddeningly gorgeous sire? Easy. Surviving an ancient vampire Master determined to see her twice-dead? Piece of cake. But can Lily ever truly learn to love the woman she'll be forever more? Perfect for fans looking for: a little Halloween spirit body positive representation enemies to lovers vibes

Vampire in Distress

Vampire in Distress PDF Author: Dale Mayer
Publisher: Family Blood Ties
ISBN: 9781988315522
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 300

Get Book

Book Description
When Tessa rallies friends and family to find her missing date, they uncover a secret...and start a war that causes ripples in all aspects of their lives. A vampire with throwback human genes. Sixteen-year-old Tessa finds more than just her friend in this journey...she also finds herself in need of rescue ... Imprisoned, she has to find a way to escape and reunite with her family before this war takes out those she loves. The youngest of his ancient line. Eighteen-year-old Cody descends from flyer vampires wants Tessa back at his side where she belongs - even as he struggles with conflicting emotions about his best friend's kid sister... A human determined to protect his people. Seventeen year-old Jared thought his life was over then he finds out that his rescuers are vampires...how can he trust them? And then he finds out the truth about Tessa...and that she's been taken, too... Three brave souls struggle as war breaks out around them...a war that shows them no mercy.

Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest

Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest PDF Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 222

Get Book

Book Description
The Era of Nighttime Has Begun... Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended — that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon. As old foes rise, the power structures of both races begin to falter and the very existence of life on Earth (both hot-blooded and undead) hangs in the balance. Rebel humans have developed new and frightening weapons, and they aren't afraid to use them even if it could mean the end of everything. And Reginald Baskin — always an outcast, always neglected — may be the only chance to stop it. But as Reginald steps into his destined role as a leader, he faces a hideous inevitability that even he never saw coming … and that he may be too late to prevent.

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet PDF Author: Mo O'Hara
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
ISBN: 1250128129
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 209

Get Book

Book Description
My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet, the epic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series features an aspiring evil scientist, paranormal pets, and plenty of hilarious summer camp shenanigans. Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. ‘Cause I’m going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten Fang. We’ve got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn’t expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there’s no way I’m going to let them ruin my summer. Evil Emperor of the Camp, here I come! Signed, The Great and Powerful Mark