Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061970301
Category : Foreign study
Languages : en
Pages : 340

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Book Description
After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.

Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061970301
Category : Foreign study
Languages : en
Pages : 340

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Book Description
After being bitten by a vampire, not only is fifteen-year-old Doug doomed eternally to be fat, but now he must also save himself from the desperate host of a public-access-cable vampire-hunting television show that is on the verge of cancellation.

Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Johnny B Truant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781964578002
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin meets a vampire, he wakes to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created ... doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken

Fat Vampire 2: Tastes Like Chicken PDF Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 161

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Book Description
Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead — six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him … or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths — and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries — pitting the world’s darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

Fat Vampire 2

Fat Vampire 2 PDF Author: Johnny B Truant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781964578019
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him ... or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries - pitting the world's darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

Fat White Vampire Blues

Fat White Vampire Blues PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: National Geographic Books
ISBN: 0345463331
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

Bride of the Fat White Vampire

Bride of the Fat White Vampire PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345478614
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 450

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Book Description
After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet PDF Author: Mo O'Hara
Publisher: Square Fish
ISBN: 1250294126
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 224

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Book Description
My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet, the epic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series features an aspiring evil scientist, paranormal pets, and plenty of hilarious summer camp shenanigans. Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. ‘Cause I’m going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten Fang. We’ve got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn’t expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there’s no way I’m going to let them ruin my summer. Evil Emperor of the Camp, here I come! Signed, The Great and Powerful Mark

Unicorn Western

Unicorn Western PDF Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 782

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Book Description
This 250,000-word "full saga" collection includes ALL NINE BOOKS in the Unicorn Western Series! Cast out from the magical kingdom of The Realm and into the dying desert of the Sands beyond, Marshal Clint Gulliver and his unicorn Edward have finally found peace in the small and dusty town of Solace. But when both the fracturing worlds and Clint’s bride-to-be are thrust into peril by an old foe, the gunslinger must come out of retirement and aim his seven-shooters at the dark magic and those who bring it. An epic quest hurls marshal and unicorn across the endless desert in pursuit of the dark rider Dharma Kold and his unicorn of a different color, where they must battle their way back toward The Realm to uncover the truth...and mayhap save the worlds that hang in the balance. From the creators of Yesterday’s Gone (Platt) and Fat Vampire (Truant) comes this reinvention of both the western genre and unicorn lore. Written for children and teens — but complex and awesome enough for adult readers — Unicorn Western is “Harry Potter without wizards but with gunslings, talking unicorns, epic fights, and more turkey pie.”

Dunkin the Vampire Slayer: Something Porcine This Way Comes

Dunkin the Vampire Slayer: Something Porcine This Way Comes PDF Author: Greg Crites
Publisher: greg crites
ISBN: 9781411682436
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 177

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Book Description
What could possibly bring together a 450 pound vampire slayer, a drunken, acid-tongued detective, a good natured carpenter, bureaucratic vampires, giant anacondas, mutant vampire bats, Ho Ho's, Twinkies and 'more one-liners than a night at the comedy club'? Dunkin, the vampire slayer blends all this discordance and more into a hilarious adventure that moves from the muggy heat of Florida to the muggier heat of the Amazon.....If Carl Hiaasson, Tim Dorsey and Dave Barry collaborated on a vampire story, it may have turned out like this absurd romp.... This is part one of a trilogy. Dunkin II will begin shipping April 3rd.

ReVamped

ReVamped PDF Author: J. F. Lewis
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439102287
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 402

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Book Description
REVIVED. REFRESHED. AND READY FOR REVENGE. Eric has lost his strip club, his Mustang, and even Marilyn, the elderly love of his (mortal) life. Even his body was obliterated. In short, they almost got him. But when you're a vampire, "almost" is a very important word. With a little magical help from his friends, Eric is restored to corporeal form, but his treasured Mustang gets caught up in the sorcery and winds up with an unlife of its own. Now, along with "Fang the 'Stang," he's out to save Marilyn from one of Void City's most powerful soul-stealing demons. But salvation comes at a high price, forcing Eric to venture into his own worst nightmare, Vampire High Society, to uncover the truth about the origin of his powers. At the same time, Eric's ex-girlfriend, Tabitha, has begun to wonder exactly what it was that she admired about those High Society Vampires in the first place. Her quest to find her own place in this deceptively vicious circle may lead her right back to Eric's side -- if her little sister, Rachel, doesn't kill her first. And Eric will need all the help he can get, because it looks like someone is after his soul, too. Blood will flow, fangs will be bared, and the claws will come out, because revenge is never pretty...and Eric has plenty to pass around.