Embracing Change Transform Your Anxious and Avoidant Attachment into Dynamic Self-Growth

Embracing Change Transform Your Anxious and Avoidant Attachment into Dynamic Self-Growth PDF Author: Talen James Laurent
Publisher: owubooks
ISBN:
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 118

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Book Description
Embracing Change: Transform Your Anxious and Avoidant Attachment into Dynamic Self-Growth is a work born out of both professional insight and personal experience. My name is Talen James Laurent, and I’ve spent years working as a therapist, helping individuals navigate the complex terrain of human relationships. Throughout my career, I’ve seen first-hand the profound impact that attachment styles have on our lives—how they shape the way we connect with others, how they influence our self-worth, and how they can either hinder or foster our personal growth. But this book isn’t just the product of clinical observations; it’s also deeply personal. Like many of you, I’ve struggled with my own attachment patterns. There were times in my life when my relationships felt like battles—battles against my fears, against the urge to withdraw, and against the desire for constant reassurance. I’ve lived the experience of feeling trapped by these patterns, yearning for something more but unsure how to break free. It was through my own journey of self-discovery, therapy, and personal development that I began to see attachment issues not as flaws to be fixed, but as opportunities for transformation. I realized that the very challenges that made relationships difficult could also be the key to unlocking deeper self-awareness, emotional resilience, and a more fulfilling life. This realization became the foundation for Embracing Change. The purpose of this book is to shift the narrative around attachment. Too often, discussions about attachment styles focus on the idea of 'recovery'—on simply moving away from the pain and dysfunction caused by anxious or avoidant patterns. While recovery is undoubtedly important, I believe it’s only the beginning. The real potential of understanding and working with your attachment style lies in what comes next: the transformation and growth that can occur when you harness these challenges as catalysts for personal development. In Embracing Change, you will find a blend of the latest research in neuroscience, practical psychological exercises, and the wisdom gained from both my professional practice and personal experiences. My goal is to provide you with the tools you need to turn your attachment struggles into stepping stones for growth. Whether you identify with an anxious, avoidant, or even a disorganized attachment style, this book is designed to help you transform those patterns into strengths that will enhance your relationships and your life. This book is also a call to action. I invite you to approach your journey with curiosity, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace the discomfort that often accompanies change. Personal growth is not a linear process, nor is it always easy, but it is deeply rewarding. As you work through the exercises and insights in this book, I encourage you to take your time, reflect on your experiences, and be patient with yourself. Remember that every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Embracing Change is more than just a guide—it’s a companion for your journey. It’s here to support you as you navigate the complexities of your attachment style, offering guidance, encouragement, and practical strategies to help you build the secure, fulfilling relationships you deserve. I wrote this book because I believe that everyone has the potential to transform their attachment style and, in doing so, transform their life. I hope that the insights and tools within these pages inspire you to embrace change, harness your challenges, and embark on a path of dynamic self-growth. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey. With gratitude and optimism, Talen James Laurent

Embracing Change Transform Your Anxious and Avoidant Attachment into Dynamic Self-Growth

Embracing Change Transform Your Anxious and Avoidant Attachment into Dynamic Self-Growth PDF Author: Talen James Laurent
Publisher: owubooks
ISBN:
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 118

Get Book Here

Book Description
Embracing Change: Transform Your Anxious and Avoidant Attachment into Dynamic Self-Growth is a work born out of both professional insight and personal experience. My name is Talen James Laurent, and I’ve spent years working as a therapist, helping individuals navigate the complex terrain of human relationships. Throughout my career, I’ve seen first-hand the profound impact that attachment styles have on our lives—how they shape the way we connect with others, how they influence our self-worth, and how they can either hinder or foster our personal growth. But this book isn’t just the product of clinical observations; it’s also deeply personal. Like many of you, I’ve struggled with my own attachment patterns. There were times in my life when my relationships felt like battles—battles against my fears, against the urge to withdraw, and against the desire for constant reassurance. I’ve lived the experience of feeling trapped by these patterns, yearning for something more but unsure how to break free. It was through my own journey of self-discovery, therapy, and personal development that I began to see attachment issues not as flaws to be fixed, but as opportunities for transformation. I realized that the very challenges that made relationships difficult could also be the key to unlocking deeper self-awareness, emotional resilience, and a more fulfilling life. This realization became the foundation for Embracing Change. The purpose of this book is to shift the narrative around attachment. Too often, discussions about attachment styles focus on the idea of 'recovery'—on simply moving away from the pain and dysfunction caused by anxious or avoidant patterns. While recovery is undoubtedly important, I believe it’s only the beginning. The real potential of understanding and working with your attachment style lies in what comes next: the transformation and growth that can occur when you harness these challenges as catalysts for personal development. In Embracing Change, you will find a blend of the latest research in neuroscience, practical psychological exercises, and the wisdom gained from both my professional practice and personal experiences. My goal is to provide you with the tools you need to turn your attachment struggles into stepping stones for growth. Whether you identify with an anxious, avoidant, or even a disorganized attachment style, this book is designed to help you transform those patterns into strengths that will enhance your relationships and your life. This book is also a call to action. I invite you to approach your journey with curiosity, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace the discomfort that often accompanies change. Personal growth is not a linear process, nor is it always easy, but it is deeply rewarding. As you work through the exercises and insights in this book, I encourage you to take your time, reflect on your experiences, and be patient with yourself. Remember that every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Embracing Change is more than just a guide—it’s a companion for your journey. It’s here to support you as you navigate the complexities of your attachment style, offering guidance, encouragement, and practical strategies to help you build the secure, fulfilling relationships you deserve. I wrote this book because I believe that everyone has the potential to transform their attachment style and, in doing so, transform their life. I hope that the insights and tools within these pages inspire you to embrace change, harness your challenges, and embark on a path of dynamic self-growth. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey. With gratitude and optimism, Talen James Laurent

Overcoming Avoidant Attachment

Overcoming Avoidant Attachment PDF Author: Juanjo Ramos
Publisher: XinXii
ISBN: 3989113194
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 46

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Book Description
"Overcoming Avoidant Attachment" is a beacon of hope for individuals who have longed for deep, meaningful connections but have struggled with emotional barriers. It offers a roadmap for healing, fostering self-awareness, and cultivating the skills necessary to create and sustain fulfilling relationships. Through its empowering message and practical strategies, this book enables readers to embrace vulnerability, conquer fear, and ultimately experience the joy and fulfillment that comes with loving fearlessly. The book goes beyond understanding avoidant attachment; it invites readers on a transformative journey of self-discovery and personal growth. With empathy and wisdom, The author helps readers uncover the underlying beliefs and thought patterns that perpetuate avoidance and fear. By providing practical exercises and powerful insights, this book guides readers towards rewriting their attachment story and embracing a more secure and loving way of relating to themselves and others. Whether you are seeking to improve your existing relationships or embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, "Overcoming Avoidant Attachment" is an essential companion. It is a guidebook that empowers readers to break free from the patterns of the past, transform their attachment style, and create a future filled with love, connection, and emotional fulfillment.

Insecure to Secure Attachment in 30 Days

Insecure to Secure Attachment in 30 Days PDF Author: Lucia Alarm
Publisher: owubooks
ISBN:
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 193

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Book Description
Are you trapped in cycles of insecurity, anxiety, or emotional distance in your relationships? Do you find yourself longing for deeper connections but feel held back by patterns of attachment that leave you feeling unfulfilled or misunderstood? Insecure to Secure Attachment in 30 Days is the guide you've been waiting for—a transformative journey designed to help you break free from the constraints of insecure attachment styles and develop the emotional security you've always desired. In this comprehensive, step-by-step approach, you’ll embark on a 30-day journey to radically shift your attachment style. Whether you struggle with anxious attachment, where fear of abandonment causes you to cling too tightly, avoidant attachment, where emotional intimacy feels overwhelming, or disorganized attachment, where conflicting desires for closeness and independence create confusion, this book offers the tools and insights you need to cultivate a secure attachment style. What You’ll Discover Inside: Understanding Your Attachment Style: Begin your journey with a deep dive into the science of attachment theory. Learn how your attachment style was formed and how it influences your current relationships. Through self-assessment quizzes and reflective exercises, you’ll gain clarity on your specific attachment patterns and their origins. Daily Steps to Secure Attachment: Each day of this 30-day program is carefully designed to guide you through the process of transformation. You’ll engage in daily practices that include mindfulness exercises, emotional regulation techniques, communication strategies, and boundary-setting skills—all aimed at reprogramming your attachment style from insecure to secure. Practical Tools and Exercises: The book is packed with practical exercises that you can apply immediately to your life. From journaling prompts that help you explore your emotional triggers to role-playing exercises that enhance your communication skills, these tools are designed to be both accessible and impactful. Building Lasting Habits: Changing deeply ingrained attachment patterns requires consistent effort. This book not only guides you through the initial 30 days but also provides strategies for making your new secure attachment behaviors a permanent part of your daily life. Learn how to reinforce your progress, maintain emotional resilience, and continue growing long after the 30 days are over. Fostering Secure Relationships: Secure attachment isn’t just about romantic relationships. This book teaches you how to apply the principles of secure attachment across all your relationships—whether with family, friends, or colleagues—creating a life filled with trust, respect, and emotional safety. Reflect and Grow: The journey concludes with reflective exercises that help you assess your progress and set intentions for the future. You’ll leave with a clear plan for maintaining your secure attachment style and continuing your personal growth. Who This Book is For: Individuals Seeking Personal Growth: Whether you're single or in a relationship, this book is perfect for anyone looking to understand their attachment style and make positive changes in their interpersonal connections. Couples Wanting Stronger Bonds: Couples can use this book to understand each other's attachment styles and work together to create a more secure and fulfilling relationship. Therapists and Coaches: Mental health professionals can use this as a resource to guide clients through the process of developing secure attachment behaviors. Why This Book is Different: Insecure to Secure Attachment in 30 Days stands out for its practical, actionable approach to attachment theory. It’s not just a book about understanding attachment—it’s a hands-on guide that walks you through the transformation process, day by day. With a focus on real-world application, this book ensures that you’re not just learning but actively implementing changes that lead to lasting results. If you’re ready to break free from the patterns that have been holding you back and create the secure, loving relationships you’ve always wanted, Insecure to Secure Attachment in 30 Days is the roadmap to your success. Start your journey today and transform your life, one day at a time.

The Path to Secure Attachment

The Path to Secure Attachment PDF Author: Richard Banks
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN:
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Embark on the Next Chapter of Your Relationship JourneyBuilding on the foundational insights of "Anxious Attachment and Avoidant Detachment: A Journey to Secure Attachment through Effective Relationship Communication and Attachment Theory," this sequel opens a new chapter in your quest for deeper, more resilient relationships. It's more than a book-it's your guide to a world of secure attachment, offering pathways to enrich your connections and embrace the strength of emotional resilience and enduring love. The exploration of attachment is a continuous, unfolding journey. Our initial exploration delved into the intricacies of anxious and avoidant attachments, illuminating their impact on adult relationships. Now, we shift focus to the bedrock of meaningful and enduring bonds: secure attachment. This volume seeks to connect theory with action, offering a detailed blueprint for cultivating security and stability within yourself and your relationships.Unlock the Secrets to Secure AttachmentGrounded in the initial nurturing experiences of childhood, secure attachment forms the blueprint for relationships, emphasizing safety, trust, and a balanced emotional connection. This book reveals how to cultivate empathy, communicate effectively, and build a supportive and understanding relationship with yourself and others. Learn the characteristics of secure attachment-empathy, effective communication, confidence, and supportive responsiveness-to enrich your connections and foster mutual growth. Embark on this enlightening journey to deepen your relationships and embrace the stability and fulfillment of secure attachment.What You Will Learn: Uncover the neurobiological underpinnings of attachment, understanding how our brains forge bonds. Decode the spectrum of attachment styles, from secure to disorganized, and learn to recognize these patterns in yourself and others. Master strategies for evolving from insecure attachment modes to a secure, balanced state, enhancing both personal growth and relationship dynamics. Break free from the cycles of anxious and avoidant attachment. Dive deep into the art of communication, setting a strong foundation for trust, intimacy, and mutual respect. Recognize and respond to your partner's needs without losing sight of your own. Strengthen your emotional intelligence to enhance every aspect of your relationships. Embrace self-awareness and self-compassion as pivotal tools for internal harmony and relational well-being. Strengthen your relationships through resilience, learning to weather life's storms together with grace and flexibility. Guide your children toward secure attachment, offering them the best start in their emotional development and relational futures. Don't let another day pass in the shadow of uncertainty and unfulfilled connections. "The Path to Secure Attachment" invites you to a brighter, more connected future. Whether you're navigating the waters of a new relationship or deepening the bonds of a long-standing partnership, this book holds the keys to unlocking a more secure, resilient, and loving attachment. Seize this opportunity to transform your relationships and yourself. Buy your copy today and take the first step on your path to secure attachment.

Attachment Styles

Attachment Styles PDF Author: Joyce T
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Unmask the hidden world of attachment styles... and discover the secrets to nurturing meaningful connections and fostering personal growth Do you often feel like you always seek approval and validation in your relationships... that you tend to be clingy to your partner? Or perhaps you're the exact opposite - you become distant and withdraw when someone gets too close or intimate with you? Maybe you even experience both which confuses you and your partner - you deeply yearn for love, yet you push them away because you're afraid they will hurt you. These are all common struggles that one encounters in a relationship, and the key to resolving your unwanted behaviors lies in your attachment style. Attachment styles silently shape our lives, influencing our reactions, and even the decisions we make in relationships. Surprisingly, approximately 40% of people have experienced some form of insecure attachment - it's more prevalent than you might think. The impact could be so profound... it dictates why you're drawn or withdrawn from specific people, why you sometimes find yourself stuck in repetitive relationship patterns, and why you often hesitate to build connections even with well-intentioned people. It's an intricate web that often remains unnoticed, yet it holds the key to understanding and transforming your relationships. However, the encouraging news is that you don't have to remain trapped in these relentless patterns. You possess the innate capacity to break free from your grip and embark on a journey towards a more positive and fulfilling future. While the restoration journey could be riddled with challenges, fear not, for this book will be your guiding light. It will help you shed the heavy burden of anxiety, detachment, or fear and embark on a path toward a revitalized version of yourself, with healthier and more fulfilling relationships as your destination. In this guide, here is just a fraction of what you will discover: The secrets to nurturing a joyous, enduring connection with your partner... even if you've had your fair share of clashes in the past A self-assessment questionnaire to aid you in determining your unique attachment style 50 powerful affirmations designed to silence the subconscious thoughts fueling your anxiety - say goodbye to that negative inner voice that's been living rent-free in your head What the "5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique" is all about and its therapeutic benefits - stay rooted in the moment to subdue anxious thoughts A range of intimacy-building exercises to create a lasting and loving connection with your partner (no matter what your attachment style is) How to resolve conflicts with your partner the right way - strengthen your bond and don't drive them away The real reasons behind your insecurities... and how to evolve towards a secure attachment style that promises enduring contentment And much more. Despite the deep scars inflicted by your attachment style, you have the power to break free from the confines of your attachment style and emerge as a better version of yourself. The key lies in discovering how to silence the inner turmoil, quiet the doubting voices, and embrace a newfound sense of confidence. So, take that first step, and let the path toward a more secure and fulfilling future begin. Embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth... so you can cultivate a future teeming with love, trust, respect, and genuine connections.

Avoidant Attachment Recovery Solutions

Avoidant Attachment Recovery Solutions PDF Author: Antonio Anglero
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN:
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Do you often find yourself struggling to build trust, become vulnerable, or nourish fulfilling relationships? Would you like to learn compelling strategies that will empower you to communicate effectively, boost your self-esteem, and overcome your avoidant attachment patterns? If you've been looking for a book that will enable you to transform yourself and ultimately foster healthy connections, then look no further, this book is for you! Avoidant Attachment Recovery Solutions is a thought-provoking guide designed to take you on a journey where you'll learn how to navigate the complexities of relationships. From the first chapter, you'll be guided through the process of setting boundaries, understanding your own emotions, and building trust to create deeper, more meaningful relationships. Using his background as an Aerospace Experimental Psychologist, Dr. Antonio Anglero empathetically blends his experiences and professional expertise to introduce the A.R.C. Method, a structured approach designed to help you understand and improve your attachment style. From learning the importance of vulnerability to utilizing emotional intelligence effectively, you're about to let go of every pattern that has been hindering your emotional closeness. Are you ready to learn how? Inside Avoidant Attachment Recovery Solutions, you'll discover: A comprehensive introduction to attachment, including the different types of attachment styles, how to recognize them, and their impact on personal and relational development. How to understand the psyche of avoidance through early life influences, parental attachment styles, and past relationships and traumas. Practical A.R.C strategies you can start implementing right now to manage thoughts, change your behavior, and build constructive relationships, no matter how difficult this has been for you before! Methods to help you build emotional intelligence and trust. Tools for cultivating self-esteem, resilience, assertiveness, and building a positive self-identity A step-by-step guide to cultivating a supportive relationship environment and forming and maintaining healthy relationships, even if you've struggled with this. Techniques to help you address your fears and past failures while also overcoming obstacles and embracing change. With simple, practical, and effective methods, you're about to make positive changes in yourself and your relationships. No more worrying about not trusting others, being afraid to express your emotions, or intentionally sabotaging your relationships. You're about to cultivate all your relationships and get the emotional closeness and fulfillment you've been yearning for! Are you ready to transform your mindset and build strong relationships? Then Scroll up and click "AD TO CART" button now!

Anxiously Attached

Anxiously Attached PDF Author: Jessica Baum
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593331060
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
A road map for building strong and secure relationships for those who struggle with anxiety in their romantic connections. An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In Anxiously Attached, seasoned psychotherapist and couples counselor Jessica Baum guides readers through understanding their attachment style at its core and building the inner strength and self-love that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships. Developed over ten years in private practice, Baum’s signature Self-full® Method has helped her clients get off the toxic roller coaster of anxious attachment and discover the secure and mutually supportive relationships they deserve. In this book readers will learn how to: Create boundaries to safeguard their sense of self-sovereignty in relationships Communicate to their partners what they need to feel safe and secure in the relationship Develop a secure sense of self-worth and emotional stability Learn the true meaning of a healthy/interdependent relationship and how to establish one with their partner or future partner. Discover a compassionate path towards healing through experiences like mediation practices where they can start to develop more insight into their internal landscape. Attain a deep understanding of the anxious-avoidant dance that is extremely common in intimacy struggles. Anxiously Attached offers a practical and holistic approach for overcoming anxious attachment issues to discover happier, more fulfilling relationships.

Avoidant

Avoidant PDF Author: Jeb Kinnison
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780991663668
Category : Attachment behavior
Languages : en
Pages : 228

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Book Description
Jeb Kinnison's previous book on finding a good partner by understanding attachment types (Bad Boyfriends: Using Attachment Theory to Avoid Mr. (or Ms.) Wrong and Make You a Better Partner) brought lots of readers to JebKinnison.com, where the most asked-about topic was how to deal with avoidant lovers and spouses. There are many readers in troubled marriages now who are looking for help, as well as people already invested in a relationship short of marriage who'd like help deciding if they should stick with it. People in relationships with Avoidants struggle with their lack of responsiveness and inability to tolerate real intimacy. Relationships between an Avoidant and a partner of another attachment type are the largest group of unhappy relationships, and people who love their partners and who may have started families and had children with an Avoidant will work very hard to try to make their relationships work better, out of love for their partner and children as well as their own happiness. The Avoidants in these relationships are more than likely unhappy with the situation as well-retreating into their shells and feeling harassed for being asked to respond with positive feeling when they have little to give. The other reason why so many people are looking for help on this topic is that it is an almost impossible problem. Couples counsellors rarely have the time or knowledge to work with an Avoidant and will often advise the spouse to give up on a Dismissive, especially, whose lack of responsiveness looks like cruelty or contempt (and sometimes it is ) Yet there is some hope-though it may take years and require educating the Avoidant on the patterns of good couples communication, if both partners want to change their patterns toward more secure and satisfying models, it can be done. How can you tell if your partner is avoidant? Does your partner: - Seem not to care how you feel? - Frequently fail to respond to direct questions or text messages? - Accuse you of being too needy or codependent? - Talk of some past lover as ideal and compare you to them? - Act coldly toward your children and the needy? - Remind you that he or she would be fine without you? - Withhold sex or affection as punishment? If that sounds familiar, then your partner is likely avoidant. At about 25% of the population, Avoidants have shorter, more troubled relationships, and tend to divorce more frequently and divorce again if remarried. What can be done? Individual therapy for the motivated Avoidant can move their default attachment style toward security, and to the extent that problems have been made worse by an overly clingy and demanding anxious-preoccupied partner, therapy can help there, as well. Partners who read and absorb the lessons of these books will have a head start on noticing and restraining themselves when they are slipping into an unsatisfying communications pattern, and an intellectual understanding of the bad patterns is a step toward unlearning them. Not all difficult Avoidants can be reformed; that depends on both partners, the depth of their problems, and their motivation and ability to change over time. But many troubled marriages and relationships can be greatly improved, and the people in them can learn to be happier, with even modest improvements in understanding how they can best communicate support for each other. For those reading who have not read Bad Boyfriends or are less familiar with attachment types, a beefed-up section on attachment theory and attachment types from Bad Boyfriends is included. Regular readers of JebKinnison.com will find edited versions of some relevant material previously posted there.

Adult Attachment

Adult Attachment PDF Author: Omri Gillath
Publisher: Academic Press
ISBN: 0124200761
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 348

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Book Description
Adult Attachment: A Concise Introduction to Theory and Research is an easy-to-read and highly accessible reference on attachment that deals with many of the key concepts and topics studied within attachment theory. This book is comprised of a series of chapters framed by common questions that are typically asked by novices entering the field of attachment. The content of each chapter focuses on answering this overarching question. Topics on the development of attachment are covered from different levels of analysis, including species, individual, and relationship levels, working models of attachment, attachment functions and hierarchies, attachment stability and change over time and across situations, relationship contexts, the cognitive underpinnings of attachment and its activation of enhancement via priming, the interplay between the attachment behavioral system and other behavioral systems, the effects of context on attachment, the contribution of physiology/neurology and genetics to attachment, the associations/differences between attachment and temperament, the conceptualization and measurement of attachment, and the association between attachment and psychopathology/therapy. TEDx talk: The Power of (Secure) Love by Omri Gillath: https://youtu.be/PgIQv-rTGgA Uses a question-and-answer format to address the most important topics within attachment theory Presents information in a simple, easy-to-understand way to ensure accessibility for novices in the field of attachment Covers the main concepts and issues that relate to attachment theory, thus ensuring readers develop a strong foundation in attachment theory that they can then apply to the study of relationships Addresses future directions in the field of attachment theory Concisely covers material, ensuring scholars and professionals can quickly get up-to-speed with the most recent research

Attached

Attached PDF Author: Amir Levine
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101475161
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.