Earn Your MBA on the Toilet

Earn Your MBA on the Toilet PDF Author: Kasper Hauser
Publisher: Anchor Books
ISBN: 1607744244
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
"A faux "guidebook" for business school graduates, intended to parody MBA programs and American business culture in general"--

Earn Your MBA on the Toilet

Earn Your MBA on the Toilet PDF Author: Kasper Hauser
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1607744252
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
Move over Harvard, Stanford, and Wharton--there's a new top-ranking MBA program in town! With the Kasper Hauser Continuing Education Academy, all it takes is a few minutes and a roll of bathroom tissue to earn a fully-accredited executive business degree. For the hundreds of millions of Americans who are looking for better, more successful, and more fulfilling lives--but don't have the time and money to invest in a full-on graduate degree--comes this revolutionary new system that turns crap into gold! With Earn Your MBA on the Toilet, the Kasper Hauser Continuing Education Academy offers readers a complete business education, on subjects ranging from Accounting to Widgets to Business Ethics to Ethical Pickles. Why spend $100,000 and two years on an MBA when you can simply read this book? Written for the busy professional, the unemployed CEO, or the motivated alcoholic, this incredible course condenses thousands of hours of business wisdom into a 72-minute crash course, chunked into 3-minute "jam sessions." After a mere 8 trips to the toilet, readers will be able to hold their own with a finance professor at a cocktail party; after 15, they will be qualified to work as a management consultant for a Bass Pro shop; and by the end they will have a certificate of completion that is definitely, literally an MBA degree on par with the big guys, basically.

SkyMaul 2

SkyMaul 2 PDF Author: Robert Baedeker
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 1466879947
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 128

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Book Description
"A howlingly funny parody. ... The copy for the fake products is pitch perfect. I wish the Camping Coma Pills were really for sale - I'd take them." —BoingBoing.com The towering sequel to a "comedy classic" (Austin Chronicle), SkyMaul 2 picks up where its "brilliantly funny" (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) predecessor left off. Bursting with boatloads of fantastic stuff—from the Catbox Viewing Dome to the Bullet-Allowing Vest to the Wearable Coatrack—SkyMaul 2 will win your laughter with humor that sparkles as it cleans.

SkyMaul

SkyMaul PDF Author: Kasper Hauser Comedy Group
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9780312357474
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 134

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Book Description
The funniest catalog in America. Guaranteed. Let award-winning comedy troupe Kasper Hauser transport you into the sublime universe that is SkyMaul, where Banana-ganizers and Reality-Canceling Headphones coexist with Crack Pipe Chess Sets and Llamacycles. More than just a catalog parody, SkyMaul explodes with razor-sharp wit, boundless creativity, and a keen eye for the absurd. This smart, edgy satire will earn your laughter again and again.

Obama's BlackBerry

Obama's BlackBerry PDF Author: Kasper Hauser
Publisher: Little, Brown
ISBN: 0316078840
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 141

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Book Description
When Obama stated that if elected, he would keep his Blackberry, debate echoed through Washington and among the ranks of the Secret Service. What would it be like to have a president who could Twitter, send text messages, and navigate the web with ease? What would it be like to receive a text message from inside the Oval Office and, most importantly, what would it say? Now, for the first time, We The People are privy to our new leader's epistolary back-and-forths on his wily hand-held device. We're about to discover that his emails (and the replies, from his wife and daughters, Biden, Palen, Rush, Hannity, the new first puppy, and even Bush) are so tuned in to the language of electronic correspondence they come hilariously close to the brink of legibility. This giftable, imagined glimpse into Obama's beloved Blackberry traverses the mundane and momentous contours of the Commander in Chief's life, from security briefings to spam, basketball practice to domestic bliss, and the panic of oops-I-hit-reply-all, to, of course, the trauma of dealing with the First Mother In Law. To wit: BidenMyTime: Hey U, whatcha doin? BARACKO: M rly busy BidenMyTime: Right :( Can I lv at 4:45?

The Cult of Smart

The Cult of Smart PDF Author: Fredrik deBoer
Publisher: All Points Books
ISBN: 1250200385
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 149

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Book Description
Named one of Vulture’s Top 10 Best Books of 2020! Leftist firebrand Fredrik deBoer exposes the lie at the heart of our educational system and demands top-to-bottom reform. Everyone agrees that education is the key to creating a more just and equal world, and that our schools are broken and failing. Proposed reforms variously target incompetent teachers, corrupt union practices, or outdated curricula, but no one acknowledges a scientifically-proven fact that we all understand intuitively: Academic potential varies between individuals, and cannot be dramatically improved. In The Cult of Smart, educator and outspoken leftist Fredrik deBoer exposes this omission as the central flaw of our entire society, which has created and perpetuated an unjust class structure based on intellectual ability. Since cognitive talent varies from person to person, our education system can never create equal opportunity for all. Instead, it teaches our children that hierarchy and competition are natural, and that human value should be based on intelligence. These ideas are counter to everything that the left believes, but until they acknowledge the existence of individual cognitive differences, progressives remain complicit in keeping the status quo in place. This passionate, voice-driven manifesto demands that we embrace a new goal for education: equality of outcomes. We must create a world that has a place for everyone, not just the academically talented. But we’ll never achieve this dream until the Cult of Smart is destroyed.

Let My People Go Surfing

Let My People Go Surfing PDF Author: Yvon Chouinard
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101201223
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 276

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Book Description
Yvon Chouinard-legendary climber, businessman, environmentalist, and founder of Patagonia, Inc.-shares the persistence and courage that have gone into being head of one of the most respected and environmentally responsible companies on earth. From his youth as the son of a French Canadian blacksmith to the thrilling, ambitious climbing expeditions that inspired his innovative designs for the sport's equipment, Let My People Go Surfing is the story of a man who brought doing good and having grand adventures into the heart of his business life-a book that will deeply affect entrepreneurs and outdoor enthusiasts alike. A newly revised edition of Let My People Go Surfing is available now. From the Trade Paperback edition.

Profit First

Profit First PDF Author: Mike Michalowicz
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 073521414X
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 225

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Book Description
Author of cult classics The Pumpkin Plan and The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur offers a simple, counterintuitive cash management solution that will help small businesses break out of the doom spiral and achieve instant profitability. Conventional accounting uses the logical (albeit, flawed) formula: Sales - Expenses = Profit. The problem is, businesses are run by humans, and humans aren't always logical. Serial entrepreneur Mike Michalowicz has developed a behavioral approach to accounting to flip the formula: Sales - Profit = Expenses. Just as the most effective weight loss strategy is to limit portions by using smaller plates, Michalowicz shows that by taking profit first and apportioning only what remains for expenses, entrepreneurs will transform their businesses from cash-eating monsters to profitable cash cows. Using Michalowicz's Profit First system, readers will learn that: · Following 4 simple principles can simplify accounting and make it easier to manage a profitable business by looking at bank account balances. · A small, profitable business can be worth much more than a large business surviving on its top line. · Businesses that attain early and sustained profitability have a better shot at achieving long-term growth. With dozens of case studies, practical, step-by-step advice, and his signature sense of humor, Michalowicz has the game-changing roadmap for any entrepreneur to make money they always dreamed of.

A Whole New Mind

A Whole New Mind PDF Author: Daniel H. Pink
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101157909
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
New York Times Bestseller An exciting--and encouraging--exploration of creativity from the author of When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing The future belongs to a different kind of person with a different kind of mind: artists, inventors, storytellers-creative and holistic "right-brain" thinkers whose abilities mark the fault line between who gets ahead and who doesn't. Drawing on research from around the world, Pink (author of To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Motivating Others) outlines the six fundamentally human abilities that are absolute essentials for professional success and personal fulfillment--and reveals how to master them. A Whole New Mind takes readers to a daring new place, and a provocative and necessary new way of thinking about a future that's already here.

White's Rules

White's Rules PDF Author: Paul D. White
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0767927834
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 168

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Book Description
One heroic schoolteacher has saved hundreds of lives with unconditional love and zero tolerance for rule-breakers. His students are the worst of the worst—drug addicts, gang members, and violent criminal offenders. They have flunked out or been thrown out of every other school they’ve attended. They may be the children of addicts, of abusers, or even of good parents, but they have one thing in common: they have been rejected by everyone except Paul White. With ten simple rules, he has helped hundreds of kids turn their lives around. “I can’t remember when I’ve been this happy. Since I came here I’m getting right with my family and friends, I’m off the drugs and staying out of trouble. I’m doing really well in school and I’ve got a job.” —Kathy, fifteen, West Valley student, former crystal meth user “He never gives up on you.” —Roger, seventeen Among students, they’re the worst of the worst: chronic truants, drunks, drug addicts, even violent criminals. Some haven’t been to school for months, even years. Some have spent a year or more locked up for gang-related offenses and felony assaults. All of them, it seems, are on the short list of life’s early losers. Enter Paul White, the teacher whose combination of unconditional love and unbreakable rules has changed, and sometimes saved, the lives of the most troubled students in Detroit, the San Francisco Bay Area, and Los Angeles. When they walk through the door of his one-room high school, the West Valley Leadership Academy in Canoga Park, California, White treats them like his own children: loving them, protecting them, and requiring them to become men and women of moral courage, integrity, and high achievement. Sometimes it only takes one person to turn the tide. During his twenty-five-year career as a teacher, Paul White has saved hundreds of students from falling through the cracks. Veritable miracles have taken place in his classroom: ?The reading skills of a fourteen-year-old recovering crystal meth addict climbed from a seventh- to a tenth-grade level in six months. She finished high school at age sixteen and went on to complete a nursing program. A fifteen-year-old girl was flunking out of school—and so violent that the safety of the people around her couldn’t be guaranteed. After joining Paul’s class, she not only brought her grades up enough to graduate from high school at sixteen, but has gone on to finish several semesters at a local community college. A seventeen-year-old boy who had been a neo-Nazi asked a Holocaust survivor to forgive him for his disrespectful behavior. White’s Rules is a lesson to parents and educators who can’t control their kids or their classrooms. For Americans who truly want to stop the violence, end the apathy, and improve academic performance, White poses a challenge: Try his rules. The ten-rule list that he developed covers everything from character values to schoolwork, from getting off drugs to learning personal finance skills. By enforcing these rules, parents and educators can attack both the causes and the effects of the crisis in our schools. This is the moving story of how the program evolved and what we can all do to save our youth, one kid at a time.