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Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062394274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 229
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Book Description
Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."
Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062394274
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 229
Get Book Here
Book Description
Last Will & Testament of Adam Carolla I, Adam Carolla, being of beaten-down mind, declare this to be my Last Will and Testament. I revoke all wills and addendums previously made by me. (You guys never did listen, anyway.) Article I I appoint the rest of the world's unappreciated dads as Personal Representatives to administer this Will. I bequeath to them the right to crack a couple cold ones in the garage after working their asses off all week and ask that they be permitted to watch all the porn they like and not have to change diapers and get dragged to every preschool "graduation" and PTA meeting. Article II To my wife, I leave a safe-deposit box, the sole content of which is a note reading "Get a job. I'm dead," and my best wishes on trying to keep up with the unending demands of our houses, cars, dog, and kids. Article III I devise, bequeath, and give my kids this book, Daddy, Stop Talking. Since you guys were the death of me, I leave you these pages of wisdom. But no cash, cars, or property. You've got to earn those. On that note, I further demand that the following message be placed on the marker of my grave: "You're All on Your Own Now. Enjoy."
Author: Robb Kelly
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781702575867
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 284
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Book Description
Daddy, Daddy Please Stop Drinking chronicles the true life story of my personal fight from homeless alcoholic to living a life beyond my wildest dreams. My name is Dr. Robb Kelly and today I run a successful alcohol and addiction recovery business but I had to travel to hell and back to make me the man I am today. I am not sure when I crossed the line from social drinking to alcoholism, I just know I did and my life would never be the same again. I was married with children and had a great career, life could not have been better. The only problem is that I drank too much, and when I did I lost control. When I enjoyed my drinking I couldn't control it, and when I controlled my drinking I couldn't enjoy it. Finally, alcoholism gripped me hard and like most people I sank really quickly.I lost everything: my business, my home, my wife, and most importantly my two young daughters. I had a PhD from Oxford University but went from a comfortable home to homelessness and lived on the mean streets of Manchester England for a year asking for handouts to purchase liquor. While homeless, I was arrested several times, prone to blackouts that lasted for weeks, and was assaulted physically and sexually. I have had several near brushes with death, including an attempted suicide. So great was my despair of my alcoholic and addictive condition that I just wanted to die.On a cold and wet English night, I fell to my knees and begged God to help me find a way from the endless nightmare that was my existence and moments later a man carrying a bible rounded the corner and offered me a helping hand. My plea that cold night opened the door to sobriety and I found the answer I was looking for. To my amazement it had been there all along, I just had to hit rock bottom before I would accept it. Since recovering from a hopeless state of alcoholism, it has become my life mission to assist other hopeless, chronic alcoholics and addicts and educate all I could on the dangers and warning signs of alcohol and addiction. That is my purpose and my passion, to assist the still struggling alcoholic and addict recover their lives. I was an alcoholic whose symptoms and not my disease were treated every trip to hospital. My gripping story of success to failure to success proves that it's never too late to recover your life from alcoholism and addiction. Everyone had written me off as dead twenty years ago but I'm still standing and I have one hell of a story to share. If you're struggling with drug and alcohol abuse yourself or are the loved one of an alcoholic or addict, this book will inspire you to never give up hope. Today, I'm living the dream instead of dreaming to live.
Author: Bob Saget
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062274805
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 223
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Book Description
Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats. In his bold and wildly entertaining publishing debut, he continues to embrace his dark side and gives readers the book they have long been waiting for—hilarious and often dirty. Bob believes there's a time and a place for filth. From his never-before-heard stories of what really went on behind the scenes of two of the most successful family shows of all times, with co-stars like John Stamos and Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, to his tales of legendary friends and colleagues like Rodney Dangerfield, Richard Pryor, Don Rickles, and other show business legends, Saget opens up about some of his personal experiences with life and death, his career, and his reputation for sick humor—all with his highly original blend of silliness, vulgarity, humor and heart, and all framed by a man who loves being funny above all else.
Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062320424
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289
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Book Description
My fellow Americans, President John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Hey, is that blond intern eighteen yet?" He also said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country." We've changed a lot since JFK asked us all to pitch in. We've become a nation of narcissistic, yoga-mat-toting, service-dog-having, absentee dads and gluten-free, hand-wringing, hypochondriac moms of overcaffeinated (yet somehow still lazy) twerking tweens. And our government is an inept bureaucracy incapable of doing anything except getting in our wallets and in our way. We've got to get it together, America. That is why I, Adam Carolla, hereby declare myself Candidate Carolla. The tome you hold in your hands is a statement of my intent to whip our country back into fighting shape, to eliminate the "what are you going to do for me?" mentality that has invaded our country. President Me is my manifesto, my vision for a better place . . . free of Big Government, barefoot fliers, lazy hipsters who'd rather "Occupy" than work, and the other things that are bringing our country down. With my cabinet appointees, my list of worthy and necessary presidential ManDates, and tons of great ideas for fixing our health care, education, energy, and even national parks systems . . . behold an America we can be proud of. The America I see in my head. You're welcome in advance. Your future leader, Adam
Author: Adam Carolla
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307888886
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 338
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Book Description
Now in paperback, Adam Carolla takes us back--before Loveline and The Man Show, before the Guinness World Record-breaking podcast and the New York Times bestseller In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks--to reveal all the stories behind how he came to be the angry middle-aged man he is today. Funnyman Adam Carolla is known for two things: hilarious rants about things that drive him crazy and personal stories about everything from his hardscrabble childhood to his slacker friends to the hypocrisy of Hollywood. He tackled rants in his first book, and now he tells his best stories, debuting some never-before-heard tales as well. Organized by the myriad "dumps" Carolla called home as a child to the flophouse apartments he rented in his twenties, up to the homes he personally renovated after achieving success in Hollywood, the anecdotes here follow Adam's journey and the hilarious pitfalls along the way. Adam Carolla started broke and blue collar and has now been on the Hollywood scene for more than fifteen years. Yet he's still connected to the working-class guy he once was and delivers a raw and edgy, fish-out-of-water take on the world he lives in (but mostly disagrees with), telling all the stories, no matter who he offends--family, friends, or the famous.
Author: Kelly Starling Lyons
Publisher: Holiday House
ISBN: 1682632490
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 44
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Book Description
Set at one young boy's annual family reunion, this Caldecott Honor-winning picture book is a rich and moving celebration of Black history, culture, and the power of family traditions. "On reunion morning, we rise before the sun. Daddy hums as he packs our car with suitcases and a cooler full of snacks. He says there's nothing like going down home" Down home is Granny's house. Down home is where Lil Alan and his parents and sister will gather with great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Down home is where Lil Alan will hear stories of the ancestors and visit the land that has meant so much to all of them. And down home is where all of the children will find their special way to pay tribute to their family history. All the kids have to decide what they'll share, but what will Lil Alan do? Kelly Starling Lyons' eloquent text explores the power of history and family traditions, and stunning illustrations by Coretta Scott King Honor- and Caldecott Honor-winner Daniel Minter reveal the motion and connections in a large, multi-generational family.
Author: Elke Barber
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers
ISBN: 1784503711
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 39
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Book Description
When we were on a No Girls Allowed! holiday, my daddy's heart stopped beating and I had to find help all by myself. He was very badly broken. Not even the ambulance people could help him... This honest, sensitive and beautifully illustrated picture book is designed to help explain the concept of death to children aged 3+. Written in Alex's own words, it is based on the real-life conversations that Elke Barber had with her then three-year-old son, Alex, after the sudden death of his father. The book provides reassurance and understanding to readers through clear and honest answers to the difficult questions that can follow the death of a loved one, and carries the invaluable message that it is okay to be sad, but it is okay to be happy, too.
Author: Kristyn Crow
Publisher: Putnam Publishing Group
ISBN: 9780399243752
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 32
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Book Description
A young rat hides in his father's bass case and tags along as he plays and scats around the big city.
Author: Greg Wright
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 1595553991
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 226
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Book Description
One day motivational leader Greg Wright realized that the four set of pretty young eyes under his own roof were looking to Dad to be strong, fearless, and wise. The reality was, the lone male in an all-girl household ("heck, even the dog was female") was only thirty years old and felt like he had been shoved into the deep end of the estrogen pool without swimming lessons. That's when the love-struck father of four gorgeous pre-teens started searching for a plan for how to be a successful Dad, and did what any sensible guy would do. He bailed. Not only on his family, but into the woods, to seek a "solution." Daddy Dates is an entertaining and practical look at how one American father found his sea legs and is navigating through the tricky waters of parenting girls. In this game-changing book, Greg shares his easy-to-follow secrets for how married and single dads can go beyond high-fiving to bridge the gender gap and become the clued-in man who knows his daughter best. Dads have more influence on their girls than anyone. Learn what makes your daughter tick, how to talk to her effectively and connect more profoundly, at any age. If being their hero is your mission, it's not impossible. Daddy Dates is your road map to get there. "Hi honey. It's Daddy. I'm calling to see if you'd like to go on a date with me tonight." "Um, yes, Daddy I think I would." It's a phone call Greg Wright has made over and over again. By age thirty, Greg was the overwhelmed father of four beautiful little girls, with one thought running through his mind over and over again: Don't Screw Up. Daddy Dates is about a guy taking his best shot at being a successful dad by trying to know his girls?really know their fears, dreams, and opinions?and how he stumbled across an incredible strategy to do that with daughters of any age or stage. This funny, insightful, and relatable book poses the wildly original concept that should be a "duh" for most dads?but isn't. In order to raise a confident woman-to-be, show your daughter what it feels like to be treated with love, respect, and true interest by a man who loves her. Daddy Dates is not another "how to" book from a parenting expert. It's a personal, eye-opening, often humorous look at an Average Joe's intentional pursuit of his daughter's hearts and minds, and the love-inspired steps he is taking to solidify Dad's place in each of their lives, forever. Whether married or single, Daddy Dates can help you better connect with virtually all of the females in your life. Using Greg's communication cues, you'll be blown away by what you'll learn about your child, and how you can make a powerful, lasting difference?especially during her rocky teenage years. Daddy Dates is about one thing?becoming her hero?one date at a time. Endorsements: –Matt Crossman, Senior Writer for SPORTING NEWS magazine (and father of 2 daughters) DADDY DATES wondrously focuses men (and the women who love them) on the affirmation & empowerment a father’s creative attention, energy, and love can have on the precious daughters in our lives. –Jan Goldstein, bestselling author of THE BRIDE WILL KEEP HER NAME (and father of 3) It’s an easy thing to say that any father with a daughter should read this book. But, the truth
Author: Christianne C. Jones
Publisher: Capstone
ISBN: 1479523313
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 36
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Book Description
Lacey Walker loves to talk. She talks all day, and sometimes all night. But when she loses her voice, Lacey learns the importance of listening.
