Crap CVs

Crap CVs PDF Author: Jenny Crompton
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405920459
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 125

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Book Description
A HILARIOUS COMPILATION OF THE WORST JOB APPLICATIONS IMAGINABLE - A PERFECT STOCKING FILLER OR OFFICE SECRET SANTA GIFT THIS CHRISTMAS. Ever read a truly terrible job application? Or perhaps slightly exaggerated the truth on one of your own... We've all been there - but these are worse. So much worse. From overly-honest cover letters, embarrassing typos, and mortifying personal revelations, to awkward interview questions, misplaced self-confidence, and, of course, outright lies. This hilarious collection of shockingly dreadful job applications, crap CVs and excruciating interviews will have you laughing out loud, while also making you feel so much better about yourself - because at least you weren't ever this bad . . . Application for Employment I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager. Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate. The Interview: Q. Is there anything about this job that you feel you might not be very good at? A. Dealing with people. Q. What person, living or dead, would you most like to meet? A. The living one.

Crap CVs

Crap CVs PDF Author: Jenny Crompton
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 1405920459
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 125

Get Book Here

Book Description
A HILARIOUS COMPILATION OF THE WORST JOB APPLICATIONS IMAGINABLE - A PERFECT STOCKING FILLER OR OFFICE SECRET SANTA GIFT THIS CHRISTMAS. Ever read a truly terrible job application? Or perhaps slightly exaggerated the truth on one of your own... We've all been there - but these are worse. So much worse. From overly-honest cover letters, embarrassing typos, and mortifying personal revelations, to awkward interview questions, misplaced self-confidence, and, of course, outright lies. This hilarious collection of shockingly dreadful job applications, crap CVs and excruciating interviews will have you laughing out loud, while also making you feel so much better about yourself - because at least you weren't ever this bad . . . Application for Employment I refer to the recent death of the Technical Manager at your company and hereby apply for the replacement of the deceased manager. Each time I apply for a job, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case I have caught you red-handed and you have no excuse because I even attended the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead and buried before applying. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate. The Interview: Q. Is there anything about this job that you feel you might not be very good at? A. Dealing with people. Q. What person, living or dead, would you most like to meet? A. The living one.

EUGENE & COMPANY

EUGENE & COMPANY PDF Author: AMANDA BOEKELHEIDE
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1792309104
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 84

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Book Description
'Eugene & Company' is the most recent and first published collection of poems by performer and writer Amanda Boekelheide. Created as part of a poets' group loosely based around the restaurant 'Eugene & Co.' between 2017-2018, these 36 poems span a year of life in BedStuy, Brooklyn and are dedicated to the author's Oma, who lived in Eugene, Oregon until her death in 2018.

Unwanted

Unwanted PDF Author: Sandra M. Bucerius
Publisher: Oxford University Press
ISBN: 0199856486
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 273

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Book Description
The immigration of Muslims to Europe and the integration of later generations presents many challenges to European societies. Unwanted builds on five years of ethnographic research with a group of fifty-five second-generation Muslim immigrant drug dealers in Frankfurt, Germany to examine the relationship between immigration, social exclusion, and the informal economy. Having spent countless hours with these young men, hanging out in the streets, in cafes or bars and at the local community center, Sandra Bucerius explores the intimate aspects of one of the most discriminated and excluded populations in Germany. Bucerius looks at how the young men negotiate their participation in the drug market while still trying to adhere to their cultural and religious obligations and how they struggle to find a place within German society. The young men considered their involvement in the drug trade a response to their exclusion at the same time that it provides a means of forging an identity and a place within German society. The insights into the lives, hopes, and dreams of these young men, who serve as an example for many Muslim and otherwise marginalized immigrant youth groups in Western countries, provides the context necessary to understand their actions while never obscuring the many contradictory facets of their lives.

CVs In A Week

CVs In A Week PDF Author: David McWhir
Publisher: Teach Yourself
ISBN: 1444159305
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
The ability to write the perfect CV for a job is crucial to anyone who wants to advance their career. Written by David McWhir, a leading expert on CVs as both a recruiter and a coach for candidates, this book quickly teaches you the insider secrets you need to know to in order write the CV that will get you the job you want. The highly motivational 'in a week' structure of the book provides seven straightforward chapters explaining the key points, and at the end there are optional questions to ensure you have taken it all in. There are also cartoons and diagrams throughout, to help make this book a more enjoyable and effective learning experience. So what are you waiting for? Let this book put you on the fast track to success!

Milli and Me

Milli and Me PDF Author: Michael Rosedale
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1440102724
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 103

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Book Description
WHO WOULD READ THIS BOOK ANYWAY? (a special note from the Author) A lot of people have told me (including my wife and kids), that no one is ever going to want to read this dumb dog book. And, even if they were willing to read it, they told me for sure- no one would pay to read it. I'M NOT LISTENING TO THEM. I know most people like dogs more than they like people and spend a ton of money on doggie stuff because it makes them feel good. So for those of you who doubt there is a market for this book- here is the proof: At this very minute, as I am writing this, I am sitting on an American Airlines jet. I have just reached into the seat compartment in front of me and pulled out this SkyMall product catalog. Some of the products in this catalog I just found available for dog owners to buy- that will sell in the millions this year include: dog beds that keeps your dog stay cool and comfortable when resting, dog ramps that will help your dog get on your bed or sofa, portable dog feeders so your dog will never go hungry when you are not home on time from work, lotion that prevents dog tear stains under the eyes, fresh bowl savers- lids for doggie food bowls- to keep it fresh, poop boxes- the economical way to handle doggie waste, walk thru pet gates, doggie boosters for senior dogs- helps them get in and out of the cars easily, bark free- the safe way to prevent dogs from excessive barking, pet wheel away- take your dog whoever you go, back seat barriers- that keep your dogs safe in the car, the ultimate pet feeding and watering kit that prevents your dogs from overeating and here is my favorite- the personalized doggie garden bench - to honor your loved deceased dog. (I guess you bury your best friend in front or underneath the bench.) I rest my case. Buy this book and make yourself feel good - you will enjoy it! Sincerely- Michael Rosedale P.S. go to www.millirosedale.com and post YOUR favorite dog and pet stories. Maybe they will end up in my next book!!!!!!!!!!

Integrative Learning

Integrative Learning PDF Author: Daniel Blackshields
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 113464857X
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 323

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Book Description
Current teaching, learning and assessment practices can lead students to believe that courses within a programme are self-sufficient and separate. Integrative Learning explores this issue, and considers how intentional learning helps students become integrative thinkers who can see connections in seemingly disparate information, and draw on a wide range of knowledge to make decisions. Written by international contributors who engaged reflectively with their teaching and their students’ learning, the book seeks to develop a shared language of integrative learning, encouraging students to adapt skills learned in one situation to problems encountered in another, and make autonomous connections across courses, between experiences, and throughout their lives. More informed teachers can help students develop the necessary attributes for intentional learning, which include having a sense of purpose, fitting fragmentary information into a ‘learning framework’, understanding something of their own learning processes, asking probing questions, reflecting on their own choices, and knowing when to ask for help. Integrative Learning draws on international research and vast studies to provide the reader with the resources to ensure access to a unified learning experience. The book discusses conceptual and technical tools necessary for facilitating integrative learning across a range of disciplines as well as providing learning pedagogies and considers integrative learning in the context of the relevance of higher education in the complexity and uncertainty of the 21st century. It will appeal to academics and researchers in the field of higher education, as well as those generating higher education curriculums.

The Professor Is In

The Professor Is In PDF Author: Karen Kelsky
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0553419420
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 450

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Book Description
The definitive career guide for grad students, adjuncts, post-docs and anyone else eager to get tenure or turn their Ph.D. into their ideal job Each year tens of thousands of students will, after years of hard work and enormous amounts of money, earn their Ph.D. And each year only a small percentage of them will land a job that justifies and rewards their investment. For every comfortably tenured professor or well-paid former academic, there are countless underpaid and overworked adjuncts, and many more who simply give up in frustration. Those who do make it share an important asset that separates them from the pack: they have a plan. They understand exactly what they need to do to set themselves up for success. They know what really moves the needle in academic job searches, how to avoid the all-too-common mistakes that sink so many of their peers, and how to decide when to point their Ph.D. toward other, non-academic options. Karen Kelsky has made it her mission to help readers join the select few who get the most out of their Ph.D. As a former tenured professor and department head who oversaw numerous academic job searches, she knows from experience exactly what gets an academic applicant a job. And as the creator of the popular and widely respected advice site The Professor is In, she has helped countless Ph.D.’s turn themselves into stronger applicants and land their dream careers. Now, for the first time ever, Karen has poured all her best advice into a single handy guide that addresses the most important issues facing any Ph.D., including: -When, where, and what to publish -Writing a foolproof grant application -Cultivating references and crafting the perfect CV -Acing the job talk and campus interview -Avoiding the adjunct trap -Making the leap to nonacademic work, when the time is right The Professor Is In addresses all of these issues, and many more.

Spoiled

Spoiled PDF Author: Caitlin Macy
Publisher: Random House Trade Paperbacks
ISBN: 0812971728
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
A young woman does a good deed for her nanny, only to have it go horribly wrong. A newly married woman struggles to gain the upper hand with her self-assured cleaning woman. An anxious woman desperate for an authentic experience makes a rash decision to leave the grounds of her Moroccan luxury hotel. In this sophisticated and provocative story collection, acclaimed author Caitlin Macy turns her unsparing eye on well-heeled thirtysomething women who, despite their education and affluence, struggle to keep their footing in their relationships with their friends, spouses, and children—not to mention their help. Full of surprising, sometimes shocking insights and brimming with outrage and compassion, Spoiled is a remarkable collection from a boldly talented writer.

Love Like That

Love Like That PDF Author: Emma Duffy-Comparone
Publisher: Henry Holt and Company
ISBN: 1250624541
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 144

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Book Description
Named a Best New Book of 2021 by Vogue and Refinery29 Named a Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Lit Hub Named one of "5 Hot Books" by The National Book Review Longlisted for the PEN/Robert W. Bingham Prize for a Debut Short Story Collection "For a friend who needs a reminder that love is weird, humans are complicated, and bad things often get better or at least later become funny stories to tell our friends." —Vanity Fair A sharp, witty book about brilliant, broken women that are just the right amount wrong. Whether diving into complicated relationships or wrestling with family ties, the girls and women who populate this collection—misfits and misanthropes, bickering sisters, responsible daughters, and unhappy wives—don't always find themselves making the best decisions. A woman struggles with a new kind of love triangle when she moves in with a divorced dad. A lonely teenage beach attendant finds uneasy comradeship with her boss. A high school English teacher gets pushed to her limits when a student plagiarizes. Often caught between desire and duty, guilt and resentment, these characters discover what it means to get lost in love, and do what it takes to find themselves again. Utterly singular and wholly unforgettable, Emma Duffy-Comparone's stories manage to be slyly, wickedly funny at even their darkest turns and herald the arrival of an irreverent and dazzling new voice.

Acting: Cut the Crap, Cue the Truth

Acting: Cut the Crap, Cue the Truth PDF Author: Natalie Burt
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 1849434956
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 415

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Book Description
Acting: Cut the Crap, Cue the Truth fills a gap in the drama school curriculum, tackling many areas which are unaddressed during training and discussing issues that are more often than not hushed up afterwards. Starting from the vital final stages of training, and on to life as a professional, Natalie Burt – a young, jobbing actress – moves systematically through the challenges that every actor faces; from making strategic career decisions, to the logistics of TV and film sets and voice over work, to more personal matters such as renting and flat-sharing, finance and well-being when out of work. Rejecting gimmicks and quick fixes, she encourages motivational thinking and entrepreneurialism using an informal, unapologetic and humorous tone whilst sharing information that is current, relevant and from the frontline. Or, as Natalie puts it, ‘a thorough, constructive and ball-achingly honest chat about the industry, written by someone who still has all their own teeth.’ Contributors to the book include Spotlight, Equity, James Penford from Hatton McEwan Penford agency and Alice Purser from Andy Pryor Casting. Endorsements: ‘What Natalie Burt has done here is remarkable. She has written a luminously honest, very funny, often very touching voyage of what it is actually like to be afflicted with the unquenchable desire to dedicate oneself to being a professional actor.’ Timothy Spall O.B.E(ese) ‘A refreshing and entertaining take on the challenges facing actors and how best to surmount them.’ Ben Seale, Managing Partner, Spotlight ‘Natalie’s book is like her acting: playful, irreverent, and accomplished. An invaluable resource.’ Laurie Sansom, Artistic Director, National Theatre of Scotland ‘At last! The book all aspiring actors have been waiting for. A truthful, comprehensive, funny guide to life as a jobbing and sometimes not jobbing actor.’ Caroline Quentin ‘The best book ever written.’ Natalie’s mum