Bride of the Fat White Vampire

Bride of the Fat White Vampire PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345464087
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 450

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Book Description
After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.

Fat White Vampire Blues

Fat White Vampire Blues PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345464443
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 354

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Book Description
He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

Bride of the Fat White Vampire

Bride of the Fat White Vampire PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345464087
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 450

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Book Description
After morphing into 187 very large white rats in the name of self-preservation, Jules Duchon is back to his portly self, a member of that secret class of New Orleans citizens known as the undead. Though he would like nothing better than to spend his nights raising hell and biting flesh in his beloved French Quarter, duty calls when an exclusive club of blue blood vampires demands that the 450-pound cabbie find out who is attacking its young and beautiful members. Adding insult to injury, he has to enlist the help of a former foe: a black vampire named Preston. What’s a vampire to do? Without the love of a woman to ease his pain, Jules isn’t convinced that his undead life is worth living. He doesn’t desire Doodlebug (she may be a woman now but Jules knew her back when she was just a boy) any more than he longs for Daphne, a rat catcher who nourishes a crush the size of Jules. No, only Maureen will do. Once a beautiful stripper with nothing but curve after curve to her bodacious body, now she is mere dust in a jar. But Jules will move heaven and earth to get her back . . . even if it means pulling her back from the dead.

Fat White Vampire Otaku

Fat White Vampire Otaku PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780692225431
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
The long awaited third installment in the Fat White Vampire series of humorous horror novels. Jules Duchon and his vampiric family suffer through the ravages of Hurricane Antonia and struggle to survive in a New Orleans which is almost entirely depopulated. Where will they get their blood? Salvation comes from the most unlikely source possible - a trio of Japanese superheroes called Bonsai Master, Anime Girl, and Cutie-Scary Man. Yet that salvation comes with a terrifying but laugh-inducing price? the blood which the three superheroes donate has unpredictable effects on Jules and his family. Chaos ensues as Jules is transformed into a seven-foot-tall white rabbit, his wife Maureen puts on three hundred pounds, and his mother Edna becomes a vicious human/vampire vacuum cleaner!

A Vampire's Promise

A Vampire's Promise PDF Author: Carla Susan Smith
Publisher: eKensington
ISBN: 1601832893
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 271

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Book Description
First in the series that continues with A Vampire’s Soul and A Vampire’s Honor. “Wicked fun not to be missed!”— Rebecca Zanetti, New York Times bestselling author Trust Your Instincts Rowan Harper is nothing but a smart-mouthed bookstore clerk with a crappy love life on the night she walks into Rosie’s Bar. Most of the drama in her life is borrowed from her best friend’s adventures. But when she meets Gabriel—tall and movie star gorgeous—everything changes. Never mind that she turns down the drink he offers, or that he brims with secrets she can’t begin to guess at. He ignites a desire in her she never suspected—and shows a fascination with her she can’t explain. There is nothing about Gabriel that is ordinary. An aura of mystery cloaks him, even as Rowan grasps for facts, even as she fears an answer that could destroy her happiness. Gabriel can guide her through a wonderland of new sensations. But only if Rowan trusts him enough to follow . . . Winner of the OKRWA “Finally a Bride” Contest “A whopper of a romance. A tale full of zest, sensuality, and the seductive power of two souls truly coming together. A story to captivate you both body and soul!!” —Addicted to Romance “Rowan’s wry commentary about her predicament is priceless, and this romance sizzles . . . This series is highly recommended.” —Library Journal “An intriguing story with an excellent blend of fantasy and reality as well as relatable human characters.” —Night Owl Romance

The Vampire's Mail Order Bride

The Vampire's Mail Order Bride PDF Author: Kristen Painter
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781514190517
Category : Halloween
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Welcome to Nocturne Falls, the town where Halloween is celebrated 365 days a year. The tourists think it's all a show: the vampires, the werewolves, the witches, the occasional gargoyle flying through the sky. But the supernaturals populating the town know better. Living in Nocturne Falls means being yourself. Fangs, fur, and all. After seeing her maybe-mobster boss murder a guy, Delaney James assumes a new identity and pretends to be a mail order bride. She finds her groom-to-be living in a town that celebrates Halloween every day. Weird. But not as weird as what she doesn't know. Her groom-to-be is a 400-year-old vampire. Hugh Ellingham has only agreed to the arranged set up to make his overbearing grandmother happy. In thirty days, whatever bridezilla shows up at his door will be escorted right back out. His past means love is no longer an option. Not if the woman's going to have a future. Except he never counted on Delaney and falling in love for real. Too bad both of them are keeping some mighty big secrets...

An English Bride in Scotland

An English Bride in Scotland PDF Author: Lynsay Sands
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062255436
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 240

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Book Description
From New York Times bestselling author of The Husband Hunt, The Heiress, and other beloved historical romances, comes Lynsay Sands’s An English Bride in Scotland, the first book in a new series set in the wilds of the Highlands. Annabel had planned to become a nun. But when her mother arrives at the Abbey to bring her home to marry a Scottish laird—her runaway sister’s intended husband—her life takes a decidedly different turn. And though Annabel isn’t the wife he’d planned for, strong, sexy Ross McKay is taken with his shy, sweet bride. Annabel knows nothing about being a wife, running a castle—or the marriage bed. But her handsome new husband makes her want to learn. When Annabel’s life is threatened, Ross vows to move the highlands itself to save her and preserve the passion that’s only beginning to bloom.

My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding

My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding PDF Author: P. N. Elrod
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 9780312343606
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320

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Book Description
Werewolves, vampires, witches, voodoo, Elvis---and weddings An "ordinary" wedding can get crazy enough, so can you imagine what happens when otherworldly creatures are involved? Nine of the hottest authors of paranormal fiction answer that question in this delightful collection of supernatural wedding stories. What's the seating plan when rival clans of werewolves and vampires meet under the same roof? How can a couple in the throes of love overcome traps set by feuding relatives---who are experts at voodoo? Will you have a good marriage if your high-seas wedding is held on a cursed ship? How do you deal with a wedding singer who's just a little too good at impersonating Elvis? · L. A. Banks · Jim Butcher · Rachel Caine · P. N. Elrod · Esther M. Friesner · Lori Handeland · Charlaine Harris · Sherrilyn Kenyon · Susan Krinard Shape-shifters, wizards, and magic, oh my!

Chosen by the Vampire Kings

Chosen by the Vampire Kings PDF Author: Charlene Hartnady
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781535103343
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 486

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Book Description
Every hundred years, tradition dictates that all eligible females in Sweetwater assemble for the choosing ceremony. Two vampire kings have separate territories within the surrounding countryside. Both are eager to pick their future brides. What a waste of her freaking time. Tanya is among the many women at the choosing ceremony. As far as she's concerned it's an outdated, sexist event and if it wasn't mandatory she so wouldn't be here. It's not important that the two males are ridiculously rich and handsome. Deep down she knows a plain Jane like her will never be picked by one of the kings anyway. Many of the women in the town square are stunningly beautiful and model thin. Most seem enthusiastic about being a queen even if it means being mated to a blood sucker, which suits her just fine. Imagine her surprise though when King Brant sets his sights firmly on her. Once a vampire king has decided, there's no going back. But her home is in Sweetwater. Being forced to live amongst the vampire species...big gulp...forced to mate with a vampire...is not what she had in mind for herself. Maybe she can convince him to let her go, to pick again. If not, she'll have to find a way to escape his - very muscled and rather delicious - clutches.

The Bad Luck Spirits' Social Aid and Pleasure Club

The Bad Luck Spirits' Social Aid and Pleasure Club PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780989802765
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
An epic urban fantasy set in New Orleans. A confederation of trickster and bad luck spirits, each sprung from the fears and imaginations of a different ethnic group inhabiting South Louisiana, scheme to magnify the inadequacies of the leadership of the Big Easy in advance of the approach of a tremendous hurricane. Their plan? To midwife a disaster so overwhelming it drives out the entire human population of New Orleans! Who stands between the Crescent City and obliteration? Only a lone traitorous human-lover, Kay Rosenblatt, the weakest member of the Bad Luck Spirits' Social Aid and Pleasure Club.

Hunt the Fat White Vampire

Hunt the Fat White Vampire PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Monstracity Press
ISBN: 9781954977990
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 206

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Book Description
Portly vampire Jules Duchon is in trouble. The High Krewe of Vlad Tepes seeks revenge for Jules's theft of their members' body parts to restore his wife. What can a 400-pound vampire do against a hired assassin who control matter?