Bottling Farts (EPUB)

Bottling Farts (EPUB) PDF Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624544827
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 30

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Book Description
Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.

Bottling Farts (EPUB)

Bottling Farts (EPUB) PDF Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624544827
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 30

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Book Description
Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.

20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB)

20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB) PDF Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624544983
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 60

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Book Description
Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.

Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB)

Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB) PDF Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624544975
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description
Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub) PDF Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1533731373
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 25

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Book Description
Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.

The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB) PDF Author: Donald Rump
Publisher: Donald Rump
ISBN: 1624544835
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 26

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Book Description
Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.

The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth PDF Author: Jeff Kinney
Publisher: Penguin Books Limited
ISBN: 9780141340821
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 217

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Book Description
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth is the massively funny fifth title in the highly-illustrated, bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney. Perfect for both boys and girls of 8+, reluctant readers and all the millions of devoted Wimpy Kid fans out there. You can also discover Greg on the big screen in any one of the three Wimpy Kid Movie box office smashes.The massively funny fifth book in the bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.Greg Heffley has always been in a hurry to grow up. But is getting older really all it's cracked up to be?Suddenly Greg is dealing with the pressures of boy-girl parties, increased responsibilities, and even the awkward changes that come with getting older. And after a fight with his best friend Rowley, it looks like Greg is going to have to face the "ugly truth" all by himself . . .Praise for Jeff Kinney and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series:'The world has gone crazy for Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series' - Sun'Kinney is right up there with J K Rowling as one of the bestselling children's authors on the planet' - Independent'Hilarious!' - Sunday Telegraph'The most hotly anticipated children's book of the year is here - Diary of a Wimpy Kid' - The Big IssueAs well as being an international bestselling author, Jeff Kinney is also an online developer and designer. He is the creator of the children's virtual world, poptropica where you can also find the Wimpy Kid boardwalk. He was named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2009. He lives with his family in Massachusetts, USA. www.wimpykidclub.co.uk

This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen

This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen PDF Author: Tadeusz Borowski
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780140186246
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 196

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Book Description
Tadeusz Borowski’s concentration camp stories were based on his own experiences surviving Auschwitz and Dachau. In spare, brutal prose he describes a world where where the will to survive overrides compassion and prisoners eat, work and sleep a few yards from where others are murdered; where the difference between human beings is reduced to a second bowl of soup, an extra blanket or the luxury of a pair of shoes with thick soles; and where the line between normality and abnormality vanishes. Published in Poland after the Second World War, these stories constitute a masterwork of world literature. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.

Flipped

Flipped PDF Author: Wendelin Van Draanen
Publisher: Ember
ISBN: 0375825444
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 259

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Book Description
A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book Three: Titan's Curse PDF Author: Rick Riordan
Publisher: Disney-Hyperion
ISBN:
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 328

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Book Description
In this third book of the acclaimed series, Percy and his friends are escorting two new half-bloods safely to camp when they are intercepted by a manticore and learn that the goddess Artemis has been kidnapped.

The Things They Carried

The Things They Carried PDF Author: Tim O'Brien
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0547420293
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 259

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Book Description
A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award.