Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191492
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 297

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Book Description
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191492
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 297

Get Book

Book Description
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN: 9781416558491
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

You Suck

You Suck PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061801984
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 266

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Book Description
Being undead sucks. Literally. Just ask C. Thomas Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too. For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. But word has it that the vampire who initially nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call girl named (duh) Blue. And that really sucks.

Vampire Loves

Vampire Loves PDF Author: Joann Sfar
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 9781596430938
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 200

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Book Description
A collection of four graphic comics that follow the strange and romantic adventures of Ferdinand the vampire and his friends.

Coyote Blue

Coyote Blue PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191484
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 323

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Book Description
This comic novel is “[a] whimsical fable of contemporary culture shock. . . . Tautly written with a zest for the absurd and the unpredictable” (The New York Times Book Review). As a boy, he was Samson Hunts Alone—until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love—in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid—and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam . . . and to seriously screw up his existence in the process. “Downright laugh-out-loud, can’t-put-the-book-down funny.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer “At once irreverent, spiritual, and wonderfully fresh in approach.” —Library Journal “Effectively mixing the mythic and the modern, Moore intersperses contemporary trickster tales with the comic saga of Sam’s evolution.” —Booklist “Funny and entertaining.” —Publishers Weekly

Suck It Up

Suck It Up PDF Author: Brian Meehl
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0375848940
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338

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Book Description
ARE YOU UP to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories? Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords? Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He’s a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me—this is like no other vampire book you’ll ever feed on. So, as my buddy Morning says, “Pop the lid, and suck it up.”

A Dirty Job

A Dirty Job PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061801828
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 418

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Book Description
Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy with a normal life, married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy. They're even about to have their first child. Yes, Charlie's doing okay—until people start dropping dead around him, and everywhere he goes a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Charlie Asher, it seems, has been recruited for a new position: as Death. It's a dirty job. But, hey! Somebody's gotta do it.

Lamb

Lamb PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061798231
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 468

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Book Description
Everyone knows about the immaculate conception and the crucifixion. But what happened to Jesus between the manger and the Sermon on the Mount? In this hilarious and bold novel, the acclaimed Christopher Moore shares the greatest story never told: the life of Christ as seen by his boyhood pal, Biff. Just what was Jesus doing during the many years that have gone unrecorded in the Bible? Biff was there at his side, and now after two thousand years, he shares those good, bad, ugly, and miraculous times. Screamingly funny, audaciously fresh, Lamb rivals the best of Tom Robbins and Carl Hiaasen, and is sure to please this gifted writer’s fans and win him legions more.

Fool

Fool PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061974773
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 356

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Book Description
“Hilarious, always inventive, this is a book for all, especially uptight English teachers, bardolaters, and ministerial students.” —Dallas Morning News Fool—the bawdy and outrageous New York Times bestseller from the unstoppable Christopher Moore—is a hilarious new take on William Shakespeare’s King Lear…as seen through the eyes of the foolish liege’s clownish jester, Pocket. A rousing tale of “gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity,” Fool joins Moore’s own Lamb, Fluke, The Stupidest Angel, and You Suck! as modern masterworks of satiric wit and sublimely twisted genius, prompting Carl Hiassen to declare Christopher Moore “a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.”

Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove

Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061983780
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 324

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Book Description
The town psychiatrist has decided to switch everybody in Pine Cove, California, from their normal antidepressants to placebos, so naturally—well, to be accurate, artificially—business is booming at the local blues bar. Trouble is, those lonely slide-guitar notes have also attracted a colossal sea beast named Steve with, shall we say, a thing for explosive oil tanker trucks. Suddenly, morose Pine Cove turns libidinous and is hit by a mysterious crime wave, and a beleaguered constable has to fight off his own gonzo appetites to find out what's wrong and what, if anything, to do about it.